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In lieu of a recaplet, I was going to write a list of things that are more interesting than this episode, but then I realized everything would qualify. The history of the cotton ball, the pattern of hairs in Andy Rooney's eyebrows, a lengthy analysis of different ice cube shapes, and so on to infinity. There's just not enough space on my hard drive for such a list. So here's a quickie view of the episode instead: That slimy Ray Sacks who tried to kill Lois is sprung from a life sentence by someone with major influence. Clark and Lois are assigned to the story by their new editor, but are told that the one who gets the story is the only one who will keep his or her job. Lois calls the Blur for help, but since she's actually dialing Zod's number she gets no response. Clark finds out and realizes someone's been impersonating him for weeks now. Chloe figures out it's Zod. Of course. Clark tries to protect Lois, but she thinks he's competing for the story and out to expose the Blur. Sacks is the one who's really out to expose the Blur, though, offering a reward to anyone who can get a picture of him. Some shlub off the street gets the shot and goes off to meet Sacks at his "free from the pokey" party.
This somehow leads to Lois donning a Playboy bunny-style costume in order to infiltrate the party. Clark has also infiltrated the party, though without a bunny costume. Lois punches him to create a distraction and smashes the shlub's camera phone. Lois and Clark both end up fired over the ordeal. Lois also ends up kidnapped by the man who freed Sacks and threw him the party – one Maxwell Lord, this week's comics guest character. He talks... very... very... slowly... like... this. Or maybe my perception of time was altered by how very boring this episode was. Anyway, he sticks Lois and the shlub and several others into a ridiculous machine to read their minds. All of them have seen bits of the Blur and Lord wants to combine their knowledge into a full image of the Blur. He's also sort of working for Checkmate as the Black King, but he has his own agenda, too. Namely he wants to destroy all the meta-humans, even though he's one of them. Maybe they made fun... of how... slowly... he... talks. Clark rescues Lois, naturally, and Lord is picked up in a limo by a woman in red. We don't see much of her beyond her shapely legs, but Lord calls her the Red Queen.
The "frame" for the episode is that Lois starts off wanting to tell Clark how much she loves him for the first time and wanting to come clean about how she's been working for the Blur. Clark waffles on whether or not he should tell her his own little secret. At the end, he decides that the Blur needs to break up with a devastated Lois so that Zod can't impersonate him anymore... or something. At the end, Clark decides not to tell her he's the Blur and asks her if he, as Clark, can be enough for her. Lois doesn't have an answer. And that's how the episode ends. Go suck down some extra strong espresso and join me for the full recap, where I'll do my best not to fall into a coma.
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously on Smallville: District Attorney Raymond Sacks tried to kill Lois and set up the Blur for it; Lois has been talking to the Blur on the phone; Zod pretended to be the Blur and asked Lois for help; Checkmate agent Amanda Waller was pissed that a mysterious "Red Queen" was entering the game. All in all, it's a very Blurry background.
Currently on Smallville: Lois is crouched in some dark, confined area. She holds up a lighter, checking out her surroundings. Naturally, she's wearing a sexy bunny costume, complete with satin ears and gold lamé bustier. "How do you get yourself into these things, Lane?" she asks. Outside, it's night, and Metropolis's social elite are arriving at a club for a party. The back-alley entrance either means that the party is sort of seedy or the set department didn't have room in the budget for anything fancier. One man in particular is greeted warmly by other party-goers as he arrives. It's Raymond Sacks, the smarmy District Attorney I thought was possibly mauled to death by one of the Wonder Twins. Guess he wasn't. Ray's met by a man who addresses him as "boss" and tells him someone's waiting inside to collect the million-dollar reward. Ray continues on toward the party, schmoozing everyone he passes. He finally makes his way inside, to the strains of a jumpin' jazz tune and the applause and camera flashes of his many admirers. There's a big "Welcome Back Ray" banner in black and gold strung up from the ceiling. Under that, there's... oh God. There's a big, phony cake. We all know what's about to happen, right? The show postpones the obvious, though, by having Ray address the party: "As your ex-District Attorney, I'd like to thank you for joining me in celebrating the national treasure that is our American justice system." He goes on about how he was thrown out of office, charged with attempted murder, and locked away for a life sentence. "And yet, here I am." Everyone applauds and raises their champagne flutes to him. This first couple of minutes of this episode feel like they should be in a show about Gotham, which is just setting us up for disappointment.
Ray slips away from the crowd to go talk to a nerdy sort of guy in a quiet corner of the club. "So, I understand you have something for me." "What about my million dollars?" asks the nerdy guy. Ray smiles at him like he's going to eat him alive, and says quietly, "Don't test me, son." Just then, there's a drum roll and the focus shifts to that big phony cake. Lois pops out of the cake and very nearly out of her bustier. Jazzy trumpets hail her arrival. Everyone claps. As two men help her out of the cake, Lois pauses to toss a sly smile Ray's way. She blows him a kiss. Suddenly, Clark's there in a tuxedo, looking confused and constipated. "Lois!" She glares at him, crosses the room toward him, and punches him across the jaw. Cameras flash and the resultant picture ends up on the cover of the Metropolis Inquisitor, which then ends up on the desk of the new Daily Planet editor. "I told you to find the story, not be the story," the awesome Blu Mankuma says. Clark and Lois sit across from him, still in their party duds, even though some time has apparently passed. The two dumbass reporters have no explanation, so their editor guesses they had a "lover's spat." Clark protests that he and Lois try not to let their personal lives interfere with their jobs. "Well, you don't have to try anymore," Blu says. "Because you're both fired." Lois glares at Clark. Clark looks confused. Somebody save this damn show!
In case you were wondering what led up to that predicament, the show takes us back to the far-off times of Yesterday. A helpful title card even tells us so in a pretty font. Chloe's standing outside a sunny little cafe, dressed in a snazzy green leather jacket that Oliver's tailor must have whipped up for her. She glances around as if waiting for someone. Her phone beeps and she looks down to see she has a message from Oliver, or "EmeraldArcher1." How many of them could there be that he had to be identified numerically? Chloe smiles. He's sent her a picture of the skyline at dawn: "You should see the city from up here..." Chloe's smile busts out into a full grin for a moment before she reigns it in with a worried look. That's right, you're falling for the big jerk. Before she can think about it too much, though, Lois shows up and congratulates herself for arriving early. Chloe teases Lois about her whack concept of earliness. Lois doesn't let it get her down: "Clark's taking me up to the roof for a little stargazing," she says. "Oh," Chloe says with sudden understanding, "that explains the sudden 911 to the Craigslist queen." Chloe hands over a small wooden box, which Lois opens to reveal an antique-looking telescope. Lois is impressed Chloe got one so fast. Turns out it's a gift for Clark, which, huh? Lois couldn't go online to find a gift for her boyfriend herself? Could she not spell "telescope" or something? Chloe thinks Clark will love it. The cousins step into the cafe and have a seat. Lois excitedly tells Chloe that "tonight's the night." "In the words of the General, it's time to drop the L-bomb." Chloe's incredulous that they haven't said the word yet. Lois reveals it's not the only "relationship milestone" they haven't reached yet. Chloe stares at her like the odd creature she is. Lois pines for the easier days of her relationship with Clark, back when she looked forward to getting that first text of the day from him. Chloe smiles knowingly and looks down. "But things have been different," Lois says, "ever since we decided we could keep secrets from each other." Lois plans to change that tonight, which gives Chloe some concern. Lois thinks it's time that nothing come between them. Chloe thinks, "Aw, shit, didn't we go through all this drama with Lana?"
Smallville. Clark super-zips into the Kent house, still wearing his Blur outfit. He whooshes up the stairs and whooshes back down a second later in civilian clothes, just as Chloe is walking in through the back door. Upon seeing him, she asks, "Don't you ever check your voice mail?" She doesn't sound happy, which, you know, you can't really blame her, considering they just went through a whole thing where Clark realized he should be keeping in touch with her. Clark snits, "Looks like somebody missed breakfast in bed with Oliver this morning." Chloe doesn't let him change the subject. She reminds him that with Zod now knowing all his secrets, he shouldn't be bringing Lois into it, too. Clark is confused, as usual, so Chloe tells him all about the big date Lois told her about and how they're supposed to "come clean" with each other. This is all news to Clark. "I'm not going to tell Lois anything," he says. "I'm making Lois dinner tonight so she shares her secrets." Jerk. Clark says Lois has been keeping secrets from him but he didn't want to use his abilities to spy on her. How very noble of you. I dub thee Sir Ass-a-lot. Chloe scoffs. "So you're going to seduce it out of her?" She also reminds Clark he's behind all the problems he's having now. Clark whines that he hasn't called her as the Blur in months. Chloe makes his brain kaplode when she points out that Lois lied to Clark in the first place at the Blur's request. He comes back weakly with, "A relationship with secrets can never work." He holds up Chloe and Oliver's relationship as an example of honesty and doesn't think he and Lois should be any different. "If Lois is going to trust me tonight, maybe it's time I trusted her." With that, Clark heads out the door, leaving Chloe to wonder what the hell just happened. Don't think on it too hard, girl. I tried and got a migraine for my troubles.
Daily Planet. Clark and Lois get into an elevator together and stand around like fifth graders at their first boy-girl dance, only more awkward. After long silences punctuated with monosyllabic greetings, Clark finally works up enough interest and/or courage to ask if they're still on for later that night. "Definitely," Lois says. More silence. Clark notices the box in Lois's purse and asks her about it. "It's a surprise," she says. More silence. "It's gonna be a long day," Clark says. "Yep." Silence. "How about a sneak preview?" he asks. They start kissing. How far down is the basement? They got in the elevator on the first floor! When the doors open, they hastily part ways. Lois notices the office looks busier than usual. Clark thinks it's the new editor. Lois gripes about Tess's hiring policies (no joke) and soon notices that their nameplates have been arranged on a single desk. Naturally, the new editor has heard Lois's complaint, since he's standing right behind her. Blu Mankuma introduces himself as Franklin Stern. Clark tries to make things better for Lois: "It's just since Tess has been gone, we've been through a lot of editors." In two weeks? That seems like more HR paperwork than it's worth. Stern informs them that the board is searching for a new Editor-in-Chief,and he aims to get the job. To that end, he's been going through the personnel files, looking for "red flags." He scolds Lois and Clark for their "interoffice relationship," which they both deny. Stern doesn't believe them for a second. He turns them on to a new story about Raymond Sacks, whose life sentence was just reversed. He holds up the nameplates. "Only one of these stays on the desk at the end of the day." Clark and Lois look mildly scared. "May the best reporter win," Stern says. "Best" being relative, of course. Lois looks like she wants to lay into Stern, but Clark holds her back. Lois sighs. The commercials come to save us from this oh-so-thrilling escapade.
LuthorCorp. Chloe's in Oliver's office. Sadly, Oliver isn't there with her, because the episode didn't have time for anything interesting this week. She takes a flash drive from his desk and plugs it into his computer. She downloads something from the Swiss National Bank. She's doing this in full view of the glass doors, so either whoever blocked this scene didn't care or Chloe's not doing anything she has to hide from anyone. In the hallway outside, someone walks up to the doors and swings them open. It's Tess in a pair of sunglasses that must be passing for her stealthy disguise. Chloe stands there like she's waiting for the gunfight at the OK Corral to start. "Oliver gave you the keys to his office," Tess teases. "He must trust you with just about all of his secrets." Chloe ignores that and wonders why Tess isn't "underground" like she's supposed to be. They snark a little back and forth before Tess says, "I may be MIA out there, but in here I'm still CEO." That's just... dumb. Checkmate must be ridiculously ineffectual if they can't find Tess in her own office. I mean, we've already established many times over that the security is crap. Sigh. Chloe and Tess give each other flirty, dirty smiles for a while. "Where is Oliver?" Tess asks. Chloe, still smiling, says coyly, "Out of town." Tess asks about how the two of them got together, and the answer from Chloe is something about having "mutual friends." This somehow segues into a conversation with Tess about having the Kandorians as friends. Clark wants to be friends with them, too, but not Chloe and Oliver. Why is that? Well, they have brains, for starters. "Clark optimistically thinks Zod will be happy wearing an apron and slinging coffees," Chloe says. "We don't." Tess latches onto one of those words: "'We'? As in you and Green Arrow?" Chloe, on her way out the door, stops in her tracks. "I get what you see in heroes," Tess says to Chloe's back. "But what do they see in you?" Instead of answering, Chloe points out that Zod hasn't exactly been paying much attention to Tess lately, according to her surveillance. I think the "so there, bitch!" is implied, but Chloe just adds, "Be careful, Ms. Mercer. At this rate, you're going to run out of people to betray." Chloe walks out, leaving Tess looking stricken, yet remarkably well-styled.
Daily Planet. Clark and Lois are hunched over the same computer, commiserating over having to compete over the same job. Clark guesses Sacks must have powerful friends to get a life sentence reversed. Powerful friends or weak writing. He consults the almighty Internet's "underground blogs" and learns that there's a party being held that night at Maxwell's in Ray's honor. Lois despairs. "It'd be easier to crash the White House than it would be to sneak into that party!" Eh, it's not that hard to crash the White House. You just need the right outfit and lax security, which this show has in spades! Lois suggests they split up to cover more ground, and Clark pretends he thinks it's a good idea. "Can't wait for tonight," Lois adds as she leaves. Clark sort of just sits there, so the camera follows Lois into the elevator. What transpires is an embarrassing series of phone calls to Zod. He doesn't answer, so she blathers at length before ever getting to the reason she called and exceeds the voicemail limit. Twice. She finally gets to the point and asks for the Blur's help on the Sacks case. There are two other people on the elevator for the last call, so, you know, way to keep your association with the Blur a secret, Lane.
Clark is in mid-gripe as we catch up to him inside Watchtower. "Lois will find a way to see Sacks before the party tonight, Chloe." He paces and wrings his hands about needing to get to Sacks first. Chloe, who's busy using Oliver's funds to upgrade Watchtower's security and keeping an eye on the Fortress for Clark, says she gets it. "I understand the instinct to protect the ones that you love," she says, calming him down. "Half of being in a relationship with Lois is protecting her from herself," he says quietly. Chloe consults her tablet PC (she needs to upgrade to an iPad) and sees that Lois isn't the only one Sacks is after. It's all over the almighty Internet that Sacks is offering a million bucks for an image of the Blur's face. Clark looks like a confused sheepdog. "What's with this guy and his obsession with the Blur?" Chloe gently reminds Clark that he's the one who publicly disgraced Sacks and put him in jail. Clark suggests looking for Ray at some of his favorite haunts. Once again, the Internet has the answer...
...and the answer is some back-alley pizza place with a dirty sign and a mascot that makes Chef Boyardee look authentic. As a tuxedo-clad Ray steps out of his limo outside this fine dining establishment, Lois is there to greet him with a pizza box. "Mr. Sacks! Lois Lane from the Daily Planet. You may remember me from the roof of the Daily Planet." Oh, okay: Heh. My mild amusement is mitigated, however, by the fact that Lois is confronting this would-be murderer alone, at night, in an alley. She wants to know who let him out of jail, like he's just going to tell her. "You have too much faith in the Blur," Ray says. "You think you can meet with me like this, alone?" He snaps his fingers and a big brute of a man gets out of the limo. "My editor knows where I am," Lois says. "Hurt me and you'll be back behind bars before this pizza cools off." Ray thinks the solution would be to kill Lois and then hide the body so nobody finds it. Yeah, that won't be suspicious at all. Dumb heroes, dumb villains. Brutus aims a gun at Lois, who finally has sense to look scared. Ray gets back into the limo without even getting the pizza he came for. Brutus backs Lois further into the alley before he's suddenly lifted off his feet and tossed 30 feet by an unseen force. Yellow as baby poop, Ray tells the driver to get him out of there. Clark appears to Brutus. A handy sheet of random plastic stands between him and Lois so she can only see his silhouette. She thanks him for answering her call. Clark goes, "Buh?" She goes on: "You have no idea what it means that you trusted me enough to let me help you these past weeks." She gushes about what a purpose she feels and pledges to help him in whatever way he needs. Clark once more goes, "Buh?" He leaps up and out of the alley to stand on a nearby rooftop, posed for a moment against that damned full moon before zipping away. Back on Terra Firma, Lois notices she's not alone. A scrawny little pizza delivery boy stumbles out of the alley, camera phone in hand. "The million's mine! I got a picture of the Blur!" Lois tries to stop him, but he easily knocks her over despite the fact that she's regularly able to take down highly trained thugs, guards, monsters and military types.
Lois reaches for her cell and starts dialing. At this moment, Clark shows up in his civvies and demands to know who she's calling. "It's not important," she says, hiding the phone. Clark, panicky, knows it's the Blur, which Lois denies. "What are you even doing here?" she asks. "You told me you stopped talking to the Blur," Clark says instead of answering. I think this is the first hint of facial expression we've seen from Clark in the episode. Lois's pained silence is as good as a confession. Clark looks hurt. Hurt and assy. "All those secrets you've been keeping from me," he snots. "It's him! Isn't it?" Lois says she can't tell him anything, but Clark keeps after her. "Do you even know who you're talking to?" Lois misreads Clark's concern as jealousy. When he persists, she thinks it's about the story. "You want me to give up the Blur just to save your job!" He protests because he's trying to save her. She has too much blind faith, he says. She gets all het up because she thinks he's accusing the Blur of not trusting her enough to reveal himself. "Lois, I need you to listen to me," he says. She cuts him off: "No, Clark, I'm sure he is dying to tell me, but how could anybody who cares about me put me in that kind of position?" Clark blink-blinks. Lois goes on: "If I knew his true identity, then every lowlife with high hopes of hurting him would come after me, and he would never put me in that kind of danger just to get a secret off his back." Clark lets himself be persuaded into silence by this speech, even though, heartfelt as it is, it makes very little sense. The show just hasn't set up a situation where people "in the know" are in more danger than those who aren't, as the episode itself later inadvertently proves. Nonetheless, Clark stares helplessly as Lois storms off. Commercials.
Watchtower. Chloe's making herself a fancy coffee when Clark zooms in and whooshes the foam right out of her cup. Chloe takes one look at his mopey face and says, "I take it the search for Sacks didn't go so well." "I found Sacks," Clark says, "but I may have just lost Lois. Or at least her trust." He tells her about someone calling Lois and pretending to be the Blur. "Who would want to blur a mile in your shoes?" Chloe asks. Ugh. Clark rattles off the shortlist: Zod, Checkmate, Tess. "They've all been circling my secret," Clark says. I think they're doing more than circling, bud. Two of them actually know it. After a moment, Clark hands Chloe the phone he says he just stole from Lois. Chloe gets to work trying to trace the calls and grudgingly commends her cousin for protecting the Blur. Clark's like, "But... but... I'm the Blur!" Chloe calls it a "Kafka-esque nightmare," which, if true, would have made this whole episode much better. Clark goes on to say he almost told Lois the truth but she ended up reminding him of why he couldn't. Chloe locks onto a call that Lois is making to the "Blur's" phone right now.
Lois is in a phone booth, explaining in a voicemail about how she lost her phone. She also tells the "Blur" that someone photographed him and is going to sell the picture to Sacks. She tells him that she's going to try to "run interference" but that he needs to show up at Sacks's party tonight to help her. Back at Watchtower, Chloe and Clark look worried. Sort of.
Lois makes her way to the back alley entrance to Maxwell's. A handful of mostly catering types mill around, making preparations. Lois spies a gigantic fake cake near the back entrance. She also spies the golden bunny costume on a rack to it. It's surprising they don't show her pummeling some poor woman to get the costume away from her. Instead, she just sighs: "Piece of cake."
Inside the party, we have a slightly different angle on the events that took place in the teaser. Now Clark's inside, wearing a tux, while Sacks in the background is just finishing up his speech. Clark scans the room and looks constipated. His super-hearing picks up Sacks talking to the pizza boy. Before Clark can do anything (even at super-speed, it seems), the trumpets blast and Lois pops out of the cake. It's lucky for her the real bunny she replaced was her exactly size. Lois spies the pizza boy with his camera phone while Clark spies Lois in her costume. She throws a punch at Clark and follows through with a stumble, right into pizza boy. He drops his phone and she stomps on it. "Oops, sorry about your million dollars," she says. Pizza boy's like, "Now my poor old dog will never get a new liver! NOOOOOOO!" Or maybe he just pouts. [Or maybe he just points out that the Blur is standing five feet away. I guess the photo wasn't that good after all. - Zach] Sacks fumes. Clark grabs Lois and skedaddles out of there. Sacks grabs the pizza boy, telling him, "We don't need your picture; we just need you." Brutus drags pizza boy out of the party while, from a balcony railing above the party, a mystery man watches. His face is unseen but the handkerchief in his suit pocket bears an embroidered black king chess piece. Another Checkmate operative. Whoop-dee-freaking-doo.
Now we catch up to Lois and Clark after their firing as they leave the Daily Planet, arms laden with boxes full of their personal belongings. Also, I think Clark is stealing a bunch of pens from the office, unless he brought his own from home for some damn reason. The two bicker about the loss of their jobs, which Lois blames on Clark trying to expose the Blur. Clark reminds her of the whole cake-and-punch thing. "It was just a distraction," she says. "I had to do something extreme to destroy that extremely dangerous picture, no thanks to you." He tries to calm her down, but she's not having it because she's still convinced he's out to get the Blur. "I'm seeing a whole other side of you, Clark, and for the first time, I'm not a fan of the view." He frowns as she stomps off without him. She turns the corner and takes a moment to look sad. Her moment up, Brutus jumps her from behind.
Mysterious lab sort of place. Six people are lying down hooked up to some goofy contraption with multiple Itty Bitty Book Lights surrounding their bodies. They all seem to be unconscious. One of them is Lois, who is approached by the man with the Checkmate hankie. This time we see his face as he stares down at Lois. Commercials.
Back from the break, Raymond Sacks has joined the festivities. He holds a black Knight chess piece, studying it. "I take it this is the official invitation to join you, the Black King." What use would Ray be to them? It's not like he's in office anymore and I doubt such a self-serving sleaze has the conviction to join any organization that demands loyalty or death. The hankie man says, very, very slowly: "Your work on this project has proved to be surprisingly valuable." He explains his goofy contraption and why these particular people are hooked up to it: "They've all witnessed the Blur; pieces of his identity have been locked within their minds. They simply need to be assembled." He holds his hand over a captive's head. A bluish glow emanates from his palm. At the center of the contraption, in a sort of big glass tube, a wireframe image of the Blur starts to emerge. Ray exposits for us: "You're extracting their memories with this whole Jedi mind-control thing." A monitor shows hazy flashes of the S-shield. Ray is impressed, but... "Listen, Mr. Lord, I'm no fan of the Blur, but why are you after him?" And why did it take the show almost half an hour to introduce Maxwell Lord, our villain of the week? Lord talks, sllllooowwwwly, about meta-humans, who the "White Queen" wants to use to "protect and serve." But Lord as other plans. "Waller barks orders from behind a desk, but I work in the real world. A world that needs the rule... of... law." Does he have a piece of peanut butter sandwich stuck to the roof of his mouth? Why is he talking in slo-mo? He speaks disparagingly of the meta-humans, which Ray finds ironic, considering Lord seems to be one of them. That, Ray, says, is how he knows that they need to be eliminated. Ray seems pretty on-board with that. He watches the image in the tube take form, little by little.
Watchtower. Chloe's showing Clark video footage of Lois being shoved into an SUV by Brutus. The image is fuzzy, much to Clark's panicked displeasure. "Where was Lois taken?" Chloe doesn't know. She says she lost them when they went through a tunnel. You can find a girl in a hedge maze, but not a car in a tunnel. They figure it's Sacks. About the same time he was released from prison, a bunch of his friends got out, too. Chloe shows Clark their files on the computer and he recognizes them all as people he put behind bars. Chloe think-thinks. "Who did you say threw Sacks's little welcome home mobster ball?" "Some tycoon named Maxwell Lord," he says. Chloe blah-blahs about Lord contributing generously to Sacks's campaign, so we know they're in cahoots. Clark zooms out of there.
Ray is wandering around the now-empty club where he had his party the night before. "You should see Lord's setup downstairs," he says to someone on the phone. "This guy is a major player." Ray fondles his Knight and gloats: "And he's just given me the key to the city." Clark whooshes in and shoves Ray across the room. He crashes into a wall of framed pictures. Glass shatters. He slumps to the floor, unconscious. Clark takes the Knight out of his hand and crushes it to dust. "Checkmate," he says to the dust. [That's how he wins all of his chess games. By crushing. - Zach]
Down in the room with the goofy contraption, Lord turns his attention to Lois. He does the glowy hand thing over her head. She twitches and makes sounds of discomfort. The image on the monitor remains vague. "You're fighting it," Lord says. "You know him, don't you?" Clark whooshes into the room, hanging back in the shadows. "Get away from her!" Lord drawls, "Ahh, I see we're past formal introductions." Clark takes a step toward them, but Lord warns him off. "Take one wrong step and I'll eviscerate every last thought in her head." It would be too easy to make a joke here, so let's press on. Clark stops, notices the tube, and realizes what Lord is doing. Clark says they don't know who he is. Lord agrees, but they've each seen bits of his face. He turns his attention back to Lois. "Even unconscious, her mind protects memories of you." "Maybe she doesn't have any," Clark says. I think that ship has sailed, Clark, considering she told the world she was buddies with the Blur. Lord has another theory: "Or maybe the connection between you two is stronger, stronger than the fear that binds you with the others... stronger because of love." Lord steps it up to two glowing hands. Lois struggles. One tear squeezes out from her closed eyes. Clark makes a run for it. He leaps through the glass tube, his real face merging momentarily with the incredibly accurate wireframe face before he lands on the other side. Lord is nowhere to be seen. It's like he was in the scene, and then he wasn't. Lois sits up, disoriented, and sees the reflection of Clark's S-shield in the computer monitor. The S has been accentuated this episode, by the way, so that it stands out more clearly in the shadows. I wonder why no one wonders what the hell it stands for? There's no "s" in "Blur." Anyway, he's standing behind her, but she doesn't turn to look at him. "I can't know who you are," she explains. "I'd give anything to see your face, to know your name, but you can't protect us if we know who you are." [Because she's soooo safe right now. - Z] He places a hand on her shoulder and she touches her fingertips to his. "Go," she whispers. He whooshes away. She squeezes out another tear. Commercials.
Metropolis, night. Lord stands on the street, checking his passport. A man in a long coat grabs him from behind, pressing a gun to his side. "Sorry, Max, there's a change of itinerary." He shoves Lord into a waiting limo. He lands face-down with a grunt. As he looks up, he sees the shapely legs of a woman sitting opposite him. She has on red patent stilettos and a matching red outfit. Her face is in the shadows. "So it's true," Lord says. "The Red Queen does exist." He stares dully at her.
Kent farm. Clark is working on farm equipment in the barn when Chloe strolls in. "I guess the upside of unemployment is you don't have to pick out a tie every morning." Clark pouts so Chloe guesses he's beating himself up. "Which me?" Clark snarks. "The Blur that Lois would die to protect or the boyfriend that Lois is protecting him from?" Chloe tries to give him a pep talk and commends him for being as honest with Lois as he could. Eh. "I guess if half of me has Lois's trust and the other half gets the rest of her, it all works out in some weird way." Chloe tells him what he should already know himself: "One of those halves has to say goodbye." She tells him she traced the fake Blur to RAO Industries. "It was Zod," she says, in case Clark and we didn't get the connection. Clark stops working on the tractor, hurt that Zod lied to him about being besties. Chloe tells him before he can confront Zod, he has to take care of something else first. Yeah, because Callum Blue isn't in this episode. "Until you can tell Lois that you are the one and only Blur," Chloe says, "anyone with a voice modulator and a calling plan can pretend to be you." Clark sighs: "I know what I have to do." Start wearing a mask? Nah, that'd be too easy!
Somewhere on the nighttime streets of the city, Lois is just stepping into a phone booth as the phone begins to ring. She answers and smiles to hear the Blur's voice. He thanks her for coming. "Well, when the Blur leaves a hand-written message, you better believe I'm there." I bet he wrote it in crayon on the inside of a Snickers wrapper. Lois is curious as to why he wanted to talk to her there instead of by cell. Clark, standing on a rooftop overlooking the phone booth, says, "I wanted to have this conversation in a place that meant something to both of us." Lois accepts that and starts looking forward to her mission. Clark breaks it to her that there won't be one. "I'm sorry, this is our last conversation." Lois doesn't quite get the finality of that, so Clark emphasizes that things are over... forever. Lois doesn't want to believe it. "Our relationship puts you at risk," Clark says. Lois insists she doesn't care about the risk because of all the good she gets to do with him. "This is the most important part of my life," she pleads. Clark looks sad. "There must be some other part that means more to you," he says hopefully. He looks like a sad old basset hound that got passed by at the pound. She just pleads her case again instead of waxing poetic about him, the real him. Clark tells her he won't call again. "This is the only way I can protect you," he says. This would have so much more emotional resonance if the show had made this seem true. I mean, Chloe knows the truth, and she doesn't get kidnapped or tortured more than Lois does. Plus, being in the know, she has the ability to get in touch with Clark or summon some other heroes. Lois is still in danger from anyone who wants to use her as Blur-bait, but she has no way of reaching out to him when that happens. Stupid. Clark tells her not to believe anyone who calls her after this claiming to be him. He promises to watch over her, then says his goodbyes and hangs up. Lois looks numb.
Sad break-up music plays. The damned moon is still full and perfect and lovely when Lois goes up to meet Clark on the Daily Planet roof. Did they get their jobs back when we weren't looking? Clark has a romantic table set up with candles and wine. There are lights strung up everywhere. Lois looks touched. "I'm glad you still came up after what we talked about on the street," he says. I know I just watched that scene but I don't remember what they talked about. They... argued? I think? Lois thanks him but looks sad. "What is it?" he asks. "You know you can tell me anything." She tells him all about working for the Blur lately. "I've been sharing things with him that I couldn't share with you." "It's probably just the reporter blood in you, right?" Clark asks hopefully. Dude, you just talked to her. You know that ain't it. Self-flagellating fool! "It was more than that," Lois says. "But we... I talked to him and it's over. He doesn't want me in his life anymore." Clark, willing to take scraps, tells her, "But there's someone standing right here that still does." "It's OK," he adds when she doesn't respond. She tells him he doesn't have to be OK with her being in love with another man. Well, she doesn't spell it out for him, but that's the implication. She goes on about how she wishes she could explain what it's like to have a duty, a calling. Clark looks sad. "It made my feelings for you and everything else seem..." she trails off. "Selfish," Clark finishes for her. He gives her a speech to show he knows exactly what she means, but she doesn't look like she believes him. "I guess with him gone," Clark says, "am I enough?" Lois stares at him but says nothing. He stares back. They stare sadly at each other... And that is your cliffhanger for the week. A sloppily executed "love triangle for two" with a mopey relationship chat straight out of the early ears of Clark + Lana. Hopefully things will perk up the episode.
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see what other superbeings have crossed Clark in our guide to the Heroes and Villains of Smallville!
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Tippi Blevins is going to ingest copious amounts of caffeine to try to wake up in time for this Friday night. You can email her at b_tippi@yahoo.com, or find her on Twitter.