Once upon a time, a magician named John Zatara cursed a Warrior Angel comic book so that it would turn whoever first read it into a superhero, and then into a supervillain at the first sign of betrayal. For, you see, John himself was betrayed when his comic book idea was stolen and the curse was meant for the publisher! Many ages passed before the heretofore unread comic book showed up in a fantasy land known as MetCon, populated by such mythical characters as Lois Lane, Chloe Sullivan and John's daughter, Zatanna. One day, a snot-nosed little brat decided he wanted this comic book, so he just stole it like the snot-nosed little brat that he was. Upon reading it, he was suddenly transformed into a very hunky young man with superpowers. He used his powers to rescue the fair Chloe Sullivan from danger, who was smitten with him from the start. He introduced her to magical things such as Xbox games and flying. She very nearly introduced him to adult-themed merriments, but luckily Zatanna teamed up with the heroic Clark Kent to track down this man-boy before any vomit-inducing merriments could occur. Alas, fair Chloe tried to convince the man-boy-hero to turn himself over to Zatanna so she could turn him back into a mere boy, which enraged him and transformed him into a blue-veined villain who tried to kill her. Zatanna worked the spell to revert the boy to his true form, but not before fair Chloe was flung from a high roof! Down and down she plummeted. Lo and behold, Clark Kent whooshed up to save her. The snot-nosed little brat of a thief wept and apologized and everyone hugged him and loved him and gave him words of encouragement.
Elsewhere, in a distant realm known as "Sub Plots," Lois was rendered momentarily jealous by Clark and Zatanna's seeming closeness, but all was forgiven and the damsel Lois and Clark Kent lived happily ever after... for now. But what's this? There's another romantic plot brewing? Hark! It is the Emerald Archer, Oliver Queen, who comforts Chloe with archery lessons and sweet, sweet words of flirtation. What manner of mystical crappery is this? Stay tuned for the full recap to find out.
Discuss this episode in our forums, then check out our guide to the comic-book heroes and villains of Smallville! And check back soon for the full weecap!
The show opens in the midst of a comic book convention that a large banner helpfully identifies as MetCon. The convention floor teems with young men and women in costumes of varying levels of geeky fervor. One girl seems to be dressed as a sexy Tin Man, others look like generic anime characters. There's a guy who's dressed like the Green Arrow, but more like the one from the comics than the one from the show. My eye is drawn to a large statue of some unnamed and mostly naked hero because he has no crotch. Comic book male superheroes are known to have rather smooth and homogeneous packages, but this guy has nothing at all. His waist sits directly atop his thighs and he seems to raise his fist heavenward as if to cry, "Why have you cursed me with this wienerless existence?!" The camera focuses on a mop-topped boy wearing a Warrior Angel shirt and denim jacket, a backpack slung over his shoulders. He gazes around in awe. I wonder if they shot any footage at an actual convention? If not, the set and props departments deserve major kudos for the faithful recreation. The boy's attention focuses on the Warrior Angel booth. Warrior Angel, as you might recall from earlier seasons, is bald like Lex. He's actually the spitting image of Lex, if Lex ate nothing but raw eggs and steroids. He runs over to a display case that holds a super old, super rare Warrior Angel comic book. Ah, the good old days. Remember when comic books used to cost 10 cents? Yeah, me either. The comic's cover promises to reveal Warrior Angel's secret origins. The boy asks the booth operator, "Hey, Harry, is it true no one's ever read it before?" He says he read on the Internet that no one knows what the Warrior's secret battle cry is. Well, it probably sucked balls, if he didn't repeat it in any future issues. [What kind of crappy battle cry isn't ever spoken in public? Also, ignoring the fact that somewhere out there is an old dude who almost certainly has read this comic before, and that the Internet is made for disseminating that kind of information, hasn't this publishing company ever heard of a reprint? Or are they just never going to tell anyone their incredibly popular character's origin ever again? - Zach] The boy begs to have a look, but Harry gently scolds him. If anybody opens the book, the value drops. No one's so much as opened it before? It could be full of blank pages or cigarette ads for kids! Harry opens the case to lovingly dust the sealed comic. "Besides," Harry says, "there's nothing in that fantasy world that's going to make a lick of difference in the real world." [Yes, because that is the philosophy of most comic book fans and dealers. - Z]
Just then, a particularly klutzy fan knocks over a spindle of comics and Harry rushes over to investigate, leaving the keys in the door of the forbidden display case. The boy stares for a long moment and then the thing we see, he's darting through the crowd and Harry's shouting for security. Harry runs smack into a Star Wars storm trooper. He apologizes before he runs off again, so I guess he's at least a polite little thief. Nearby, Chloe checks her phone for messages when the storm trooper bumps into her. Chloe's miffed until the trooper removes her helmet and reveals herself to be Lois Lane. Lois grumps about her editor assigning her to be an "embedded journalist" at the con. [She must be imbedded with the 501st! - Z] She complains that no one will talk to her in this outfit. Then you must be doing something wrong, because people at cons freaking love storm troopers. Chloe points out a pair of scantily clad buxom beauties with the implication that maybe a similar outfit would make Lois more approachable. Lois sighs that she's so out of touch with the fantasy world lately. "No wonder Clark's been avoiding me!" They talk boringly about Lois's fear of intimacy and not letting loose enough. Chloe tells her to calm down and focus on her work. Chloe gets a text message from Oliver, letting her know that he's spotted the target -- a "maniac with boomerangs." Hilariously, he ends the text with, "Hooray." [Hey, why hasn't Captain Boomerang turned up on this show? Talk about your cheap special effect. - Z] So I guess Chloe's at the con for... work? Lois tells Chloe she needs to have a little fun and get her hands on something hunky. Chloe smiles and reluctantly agrees to give it a try. Lois goes off to make a call. Meanwhile, the little thief has hidden somewhere to read his stolen comic. The secret battle cry is... "With angels' might!" Yeah, now we know why it doesn't show up again. The boy finds out that in the original version of the story, Warrior Angel started out as a little kid who read a magical comic book and was transformed into a superhero. The pages begin to glitter and glow as he reads. Lights leap from the comic and swirl around him. The light sweeps through the convention floor, hitting a heavy-looking metal planet suspended from the ceiling. Chloe is directly underneath it as it begins to sway. The chain holding it snaps and sends the planet hurtling toward her. She ducks and covers, preparing to be turned into Chloe paté, but the smooshification never comes. When she looks up, there's a handsome young man in a Warrior Angel costume, holding the planet aloft like a modern-day Atlas. Convention goers applaud. The mysterious hero asks if Chloe's OK. She looks up with stars in her eyes and nods. He grins down at her, she grins up at him. Somebody saved her!
Back from the commercials. Clark's been busy out Blurring it up. Two aspiring criminals have been wrapped in a fence and Clark's standing there in front of them, admiring a job well done. Gee, I hope the thugs are actually unconscious and not just faking it so they can get a good look at you in your super-secret superhero outfit. Dork. His hair looks really pretty, though. He gets a call from Lois, wondering where he is. He lies (sort of) that he got busy doing chores and then lies (outright) that he's currently in his truck heading her way now. She's at the con, still sweaty and disheveled in her storm trooper outfit. She asks him to stop by her place to pick up something out of her closet. [Twelve sticks of deodorant? A fresh set of skin? You do not come out of those things smelling like roses. - Z] She babbles a mile a minute about Clark "cashing in so many rain checks lately" because he's busy all the time. A third thug appears from behind a dumpster and makes a break for it. Without missing a beat, Clark reaches into a nearby trashcan for a can of beans [Hey, who threw away perfectly good beans? - Z] and chucks it at the sprinting thug, hitting him in the head and knocking him out. He superzips over to Lois's apartment at the Talon and goes through her closet, taking note of some of the sexy costumes she's worn in past episodes. Finally, he finds the garment bag that she needs and zips away with it. He didn't seem as giddy at the prospect of Lois in a French maid outfit as you might expect.
Somewhere in what looks like a janitorial locker room, a young boy is admiring his new manly body in a full-length mirror. Every closeup of his smoking hot physique corresponds to panels in the stolen comic book: Pecs like marble? Check. Washboard tummy you could grate cheese on? Check. Biceps that bunch with every move? Check. Recapper feeling a little gross that there's supposed to be a 12-year-old boy in there? Double check. [Both Captain Marvel/Shazam and Prime have a similar gimmick. It can get awkward. - Z] Chloe shows up behind him to teasingly scold him for the hit-and-run. He's at a momentary loss for words, trying to think of something a hero would say. He finally turns to her and says, with exaggerated seriousness: "You're welcome, citizen." She looks a little dazed, possibly by the sunlight glinting off his naked torso. She collects herself and says, "You left a not-so-subtle trail of breadcrumbs on your way over here for the quick-change." He apologizes, saying he didn't realize how fast he was. Figuring things out along the way, he mutters to himself about there not being a sonic boom when he ran. "So, not that fast, I guess." Chloe awkwardly gestures at his bod until he catches the drift and puts on a gray T-shirt. "Not very heroic," he apologizes with a smile. She tells him she knows a superhero when she sees one: "I'm sort of in the business of helping superheroes." He wonders why no one's dad ever mentioned that on Career Day. "Are you for real?" he asks. Yep! He introduces himself as Stephen Swift and they shake hands. He squeezes a little too hard and apologizes, but instead of letting go just lightens up. She suggests they get coffee sometime and talk about all this. "That sounds really... cool," he says with all sincerity. They're still holding hands. They smile and make googly eyes at each other for a while. Finally, he wonders if she'd like to go get that coffee now. Uh... sure! More smiles and happy eyes back and forth.
Back at MetCon, we follow behind a tall, dark-haired man in a red jacket as he makes his way through the convention room floor. Aw, Clark's wearing his red-and-blue outfit again! But only when someone bumps into him and he turns around do we see it's not Clark. It's just some guy who vaguely looks like him. This is the second week with a phony Clark. What up with that? The real Clark is actually the one who bumped into him and he's in a dark jacket and dress shirt. The real Clark frowns a bit, confused until the familiar angry tones of Lois's voice reach him. "Hey!" She grabs him by the lapels and drags him across the aisle. "You only get to frown that much when you've been sweating like a pot roast all afternoon!" He stares at her storm trooper outfit. He just doesn't get the con, he says. "All the colors, the costumes... it's like everyone has a popcorn image of what being a hero is all about!" Dude, last week you were hanging out with a bunch of people who would have looked right at home at the con. So don't be casting stones at cosplay, Emo Blur. Lois sticks up for the con, saying it's all a fantasy, something magical. Clark mopes, "Being a hero is about sacrifice, responsibility, and accountability... from what I've heard." Lois tries to get him to see the fun of it, but he looks like he's in the middle of a Kryptonite colonoscopy. A feminine voice just off-screen agrees with Lois: "Lady's got a point." They both turn to see Zatanna in her sexy magician's outfit. Lois seems happy to have someone on her side... until Clark greets the interloper by name and Zatanna says she needs to talk to him. Alone. Clark tries to introduce them, but Zatanna is already leading him away, leaving Lois to look like the saddest little storm trooper in all the Empire. Commercials.
Back from the break, Zatanna tells Clark why she's there: She found out her magician father got a little cocky in his youth and went on a little "cursing spree." Zatanna has been cleaning up some of dear old dad's messes, and the comic book is one of them. They walk by a C-3PO, which I only note because: Hee! "According to my dad's journal, our thief is bound to be feeling the effects of 'true power,' just like in the comics." Zatanna says she normally works alone but can't think of anyone she'd rather have help her. She sidles up to Clark and all but bats her eyelashes at him. He's distracted, though, because his superhearing has just picked up Lois's angry braying from some distance away. She shouts at someone to wait their turn. Clark excuses himself and tracks her down in a men's room. A long lined of costumed men with bladders full of overpriced convention soda and bowels clogged with greasy convention nachos are griping because Lois has locked herself inside to change clothes. Clark knocks on the door and asks her why she's in there. The line for the women's room was too long, she says. When she finally emerges, she looks like Wonder Woman's and Xena's lovechild. She's managed to curl her hair, do her makeup, and squeeze herself into a fancy leather getup in mere minutes. [Probably still stinks, though. - Z] Are we sure that Lois doesn't have powers? All the guys in line gape at her. "Stop gawking and prosper," she says, making with the Vulcan fingers. She had that costume at home all along, and she decided to go to the con as a storm trooper? [Hell, why not Stiletto? - Z] Brimming with excitement, she starts to tell Clark about the stolen comic book, but he harshes her buzz by already knowing about it. Another tall, dark-haired boy dressed like the Red-Blue Blur walks behind them. [How do all of these people know what the Blur wears? He's a blur! - Z] Off Lois's expectant expression, he explains that Zatanna told him about it. "She has a few leads she wants me to help her track down," Clark says. Lois snarks, "I'll bet you do," which... makes no sense. Maybe she meant to say, "I'll bet she does," but her Amazon Princess headband is cutting off the circulation to her brain. Clark tries to explain there's no hanky-panky involved, but a smokin' hot Spartan soldier interrupts and wants his picture taken with Lois. Lois wanders off with the Spartan to do her own investigating, leaving Clark befuddled as to how the conversation went downhill so fast. Zatanna, having apparently seen the whole exchange from a few yards away, offers Clark a shrug.
Chloe and the newly minted Mr. Swift have located a coffee cart outside. Chloe orders her decaf with three shots. Heh. Stephen first orders a glass of milk, but when everyone gives him an odd look he switches to black coffee. He tastes it and nearly spits it out. And thus he learns why people pay six bucks for all those fancy mocha-java-latte drinks. Chloe leads him away. "So, if I'm going to help you get acclimated, I just need to ask you a few--" He cuts her off, asking her if she really knows superheroes. Yeah, she does, but, you know... whatever. He's bubbling with excitement, but Chloe's blasé response stuns him. "You know actual superheroes, and you couldn't sound more bored," he says. She shrugs; it's a living for her. He wants to know which heroes she's met, but then promptly retracts the question, realizing it would compromise their identities. "Can't believe I asked that," he chastises himself. Carlo Marks, the actor playing this guy, does a great job of being half boy and half man, as well as half super-fan and half superhero. As Chloe and Stephen stroll along the city streets, she tries to figure out how he became so super. Exposure to meteor rock? Was he born this way? Is he from space? She asks this last jokingly, but when he doesn't respond, she worries that she's offended a possible alien. She stops and looks up at him. He just keeps staring back at her with a softly awed expression. After a long while, he remembers himself and explains: "I'm an orphan. I was sent to Metropolis to live with my aunt when I was little." Chloe gives him the sad eyes. He digs through his comic book memories and finishes his story with: "A couple weeks ago, I got caught in a chemical fire and, well, here we are! It's common to the archetype." Chloe smiles up at him, impressed. He looks like he could keep staring at her for hours, but his new superhearing picks up the sounds of a nearby fight. Boys are trying to steal another boy's bike. "Excuse me, Miss Sullivan," he says before reaching into his backpack for his Warrior Angel outfit. Chloe beams. I, too, am a fan of politeness.
In a dark alleyway, a boy is being roughed up by two large boys. The little boy begs for the others to stop. Stephen appears on a nearby rooftop, his cape flapping in the breeze. He says, with exaggerated seriousness, "Leave him be! What you're doing to this kid here isn't right!" The two bullies scoff until the Stephen whooshes down to street level. He poses, knuckles on his hips, chest puffed out. He gives the biggest bully a super-wedgie, lifting him off the ground by his Fruit of the Looms. "Apologize!" The bully whimpers and says he's sorry. The little kid they were picking on watches the whole thing with an expression of wonder. Stephen orders everyone home. As the kids scram, he speedily changes back into his street clothes. Chloe approaches him with a quizzical look, holding their coffees. He apologizes for leaving her. "I just had to save the day," he says with a big grin, then asks, "So, what's ?" She blinks up at him. Sweeping romantic music plays.
Back at the con, Clark and Zatanna wind up in some sort of prep area. There are stacks of chairs, a baker's cart of pots and pans, a mop and bucket. Zatanna looks surprised to find themselves alone. "Sorry my locater spell wasn't more accurate," she says. She looks around and shrugs. "He should be... close?" Clark says, "I guess you can't expect magic to be an exact science." Zatanna oohs and ahhs over Clark making such a "clever play on words," which, no, he didn't. She lays it on thicker than springtime manure: "Wonderful wit and sparkling theatrics. Mr. Blur's really up to his game!" She gives him a coquettish smile but he seems oblivious, partly because he's kind of dense and partly because he's just seen the cursed comic book underneath a box with his X-ray vision. She practically purrs at him. "I always knew you were packing some heavy artillery under than tie." He remains humble. Zatanna's amazed that with powers like that, he can treat this like it's just all in a day's work. He doesn't really think about it, he says. Being super is just like breathing. "And with a gift like that," Zatanna says, "comes responsibilities." He says, wonderingly, that he's spent so much time doing what's right that he's only had time for reality. Guess that's why he's too busy to do anything about those freaking solar towers that Zod's building. Clark mopes that the con-goers with their capes just don't understand. Zatanna sympathizes. With her magic, she can create everybody else's fantasy, but for her... "It's become so normal." Then she goes fishing: "But hey, at least you have that fiery 'space trooper' to stargaze with at the end of the day." [She must be a Trekkie. - Z] They stand around talking about relationships (Clark is keeping Lois at a distance because of his past relationships) instead of going off to find a cursed superhero. Zatanna cozies up to Clark. "Maybe what you need is a moment of true fantasy to remind you what the spark is all about." Her eyes flash neon blue and suddenly she and Clark are surrounded by hundreds of candles. Man, what a fire hazard. She rubs her hands all over his shoulders, but he resists. He doesn't exactly run away, either, though. She whispers some words of magic in his ear. This time, Clark's eyes glow and he leans in to kiss her. They kiss and kiss and Zatanna leads him to a chair. He sits and she straddles his lap, smooching up on him the whole time. Suddenly, he stands up and the candles disappear. "I can't do this," he says. Zatanna teases him. "I think we found a mouth more magical than mine." Ew. She gives him a sly look and walks off, leaving to deal with his magical boner all alone. Commercials.
The permanently full moon seems especially full and glowy as it perches beside the Daily Planet building's iconic golden globe. Clark, still looking a bit flustered, rushes into the basement office, only to be drawn up short when he sees Oliver visiting Lois at her desk. Lois is on the phone, so Oliver says goodbye with a kiss to the top of her head. Clark intercepts him on the way out. "Hey, Oliver, what's up?" he asks a little too brightly. Oliver owed Lois some football tickets, he says. He wishes Clark luck with Lois. "You might be bulletproof, but you might want to duck and cover in there," he says, struggling for a moment to seem sympathetic before an impish smile betrays him. Clark takes a breath and approaches Lois. Still on the phone, she oh-so-casually asks him about his "friend" Zatanna. What was she supposed to be dressed as anyway? Don't be snarking on other women's skimpy costumes, little miss French maid. Clark assures Lois she has nothing to worry about where Zatanna is concerned. "Of course not," Lois said, "because only jealous women worry." She insists she's not jealous, as she furiously stirs a cup of coffee in a totally not-jealous way. Furthermore, she knows Clark is so honest that he'd tell her if anything had happened. Clark swallows. I think they left a chunk up there when they were doing that Kryptonite colonoscopy earlier. He looks like he might be about to confess about the magical kissing incident, but whoever Lois has been on the phone with finally gets back to her. Someone in Missing Persons is giving her a hard time, so she hangs up the phone. Clark wonders what the missing person has to do with the missing comic. Lois pulls up video surveillance from the con and shows Clark little Alec Abrahams stealing the comic. His aunt filed a missing persons report. Lois says the cops are looking for him but Clark thinks the cops are the least of his worries. Lois digs up a box of letters the boy had been sending to the Post Office addressed to the Blur. And the Planet has them because the boy was "flagged" as a potential story for the paper. So much exposition! Clark reads one of the letters about how the boy wishes he could be a hero like the Blur so he could stop the bullies and save his parents. Clark looks sad. "He's just looking for someone to understand what he's going through." Aww, poor little snot-nosed thief.
Or maybe he's looking for a foxy lady to play video games with! "Stephen" is up in the Talon apartment with Chloe, having a great time playing some kind of... Xbox... thing. (I don't know games; sorry.) Or, rather, he's playing while Chloe sits on the couch behind him, looking puzzled. He's flailing around like a total dork. Once again, kudos to the actor. "I don't get why you didn't want to come up here," he says, "this place is awesome!" She didn't think this what he had in mind when he wanted to go upstairs with her. He stops flopping around like a trout long enough to look at her. She presses her lips together. He wonders why she keeps trying not to smile. "We're having fun, aren't we?" She doesn't seem so sure, so he tries to persuade her to get up and join the game. She's afraid she'll look ridiculous. "That's the whole point!" he tells her. "When's the last time you had any fun?" The fifth season or so? She can't remember, so she agrees to play if he agrees to answer her questions. She gets up and starts slapping at virtual balls... which isn't as dirty as it sounds. As she plays, she asks him about his powers. He goes down a list: Super speed, enhanced strength, augmented hearing... As he talks, he starts to levitate without realizing it. Chloe looks up at him. "Uh... how about flight?" He looks around and realizes he's two feet off the group. His expression is comically shocked. "Holy crap! I can fly!" Heh. He flops to the ground, landing on his butt. He grins like mad and bounces back up to his feet. He runs over to the window and holds his hand out to Chloe. She frowns at it, not quite getting the drift. "Come on," he says. She smiles and slides her hand into his. The thing she knows, they're standing out on the fire escape. She's not smiling anymore. "What happens if I fall?" she asks. "Don't worry," he says, "I'll catch you." He adds a particularly persuasive smile and she almost imperceptibly nods. Together, they start to tip forward and then, suddenly, they're zooming up into the night sky. He flies her over the Metropolis skyline, silhouetted against the permanently full moon.
The image fades into a panel from the cursed comic book that shows Warrior Angel flying with a lady friend. Clark is reading the comic book at the Watchtower. He puts it down and sees Zatanna on the stairs above him. She teases him, "So you got lost in the moment." "Under magical duress!" he protests, which, yeah. That was icky of her. Zatanna magics herself down to his level, saying she was just trying to give him some perspective about needing to take a break now and then. Clark thinks they don't get to take breaks. She taunts him about having a spell that could make them stick together. Luckily, Chloe walks in just then. Her hair is mussed and her cheeks are ruddy from her flight. "Am I interrupting?" she asks. Clark: "No." Zatanna: "Yes." Heh. Zatanna notes that Chloe seems happy. She's positively glowing: "I just had a really good night for the first time in a while." Hope you enjoyed it, because it's about to come to a horrible end. She notices that there's an image of a spell book on one of the monitors. Clark shows Chloe the comic book. He and Zatanna tag-team the exposition: The company that published the comic stole the idea from a friend of Zatanna's father, who got his revenge by cursing the comic book. Until yesterday, nobody had ever opened it. Uh... sure. That sounds totally plausible. [If there were lots of copies, and this was a file copy, it's possible, but considering that no one has ever read the story before, there must have been one or very few copies of the book to begin with, which makes no sense, considering how important it seems to be to the character's mythos. - Z] Chloe starts reading the comic book and realizes her new hero is really just a kid, like his namesake in the story. They show her the security footage and she sees just how young Alec really is. Since she doesn't immediately vomit, I'm guessing there was no kissing after their flight. Clark says if they can figure out what Alec looks like as an adult, they can use Watchtower to find him. Zatanna will then be able to reverse the curse. Chloe gives them back the comic book and starts for the door. "Chloe?" Clark calls after her. She makes up an excuse about needing to "look into a few things" and gets out of there. Of course, only now do Clark and Zatanna finish with their exposition: The last part of the curse is that once "Stephen" feels the least bit betrayed, he'll turn into the villainous Devilicus. [Now they're not even trying. - Z] The panels show a Chloe-like character being attacked by the newly minted villain. Zatanna and Clark look scared.
So... how was this curse supposed to work? Is it just a coincidence that the story matches Alec and Chloe's interactions? Or was the curse designed to tailor itself to whoever opened the book first? And how in the hell did the publisher never open it? And why would John Zatarra make a curse that turned the thieving publisher into a super-powerful villain? That seems really dangerous. Why not just turn him into, like, a can of cling peaches or something? I think someone cursed the Smallville writer's room.
Back to the story at hand: Chloe is out on the streets of Metropolis, texting the erstwhile Stephen to meet her. He immediately appears beside her, bubbly as ever. "I got a bunch of new games I think you'll like," he says. Did you steal them, too? He notices Chloe isn't thrilled. She knows his real secret, she says. He stole a cursed comic book and he's a lot younger than he looks. "It was just an accident!" Stealing is not an accident, you little brat in a super-hot grown man's body. Chloe wants him to let Zatanna undo the curse, but Alec doesn't want to go back to the way he was now that he's a real hero. He can defend himself against bullies now. "Do you know how much my actual life sucked?" he spits. I mean, he literally spits. There's angry spittle on his lower lip. He grows increasingly angry. "This is everything I ever wanted. No one can ever hurt me again!" She tries to calm him down, but he's not having it. He gets all scary quiet. "I won't go back," he says, "and you can't make me." Chloe looks scared. The camera zooms on his right eye, which flashes with red light and images from the comic book that show Warrior Angel morphing into a villain. When we zoom back out, he's all super pale and veiny and wearing a black leather ensemble. His hair has been gelled to preposterous heights. Chloe turns to run away, but he speeds around to block her escape. Tense music plays. Chloe looks like she's regretting her brief moment of fun.
Watchtower. Zatanna readies the reverse-a-curse. This involves a large pentagram made of instant potato flakes, from appearances. The comic book lies open at the center. Meanwhile, the Watchtower's computers have aged Alec's photo and matched it to images of "Stephen" saving Chloe at MetCon. Clark is stunned. "Why didn't she say something?" he asks. Zatanna understands: "If you found out your hero was a 12-year-old, how would you have reacted?" Clark knows Chloe would have tried to fix it herself. He turns on his super-hearing and picks up Chloe begging to be let go. He turns to Zatanna: "Please tell me your counter-curse is ready to go." Zatanna sighs: "As ready as it's going to be." That sounds... reassuring. Clark rips open his dress shirt to show his Blur "S" shirt underneath. He whooshes off to save the day. Meanwhile, Zatanna keeps working on the counter-curse. The potato flakes burst into flames. "Sins of the father shall not be repeated," she says with admirable enunciation. Then, her eyes glowing blue, she says the same words backwards.
Stephen has brought Chloe to the rooftop of a Metropolitan skyscraper. He gives her a shove and she stumbles backwards, closer to the edge. "Tell me where your friend is," he says, "so I can stop her." He advances on Chloe, telling her he doesn't want to hurt her, but he will if he has to. The veins on his face and neck are totally grossing me out. They're all bumpy and blue, like varicose veins. Chloe backs away from him, getting closer still to the edge. This particular building must be super tall, because the other skyscrapers just behind Chloe are dwarfed. Chloe begs Stephen to think things through. He wants to be a hero, doesn't he? She runs out of rooftop and inches up onto a gargoyle. Stephen thinks villains are more interesting anyway. (Zod: "Yes, we are, but we also get crap for screen time!") Chloe tries to reason with the part of Stephen that's still Alec. Would his parents have wanted this? He just gets pissed off. Suddenly, his superhearing picks up the sounds of Zatanna chanting. He grabs the sides of his head as the chanting grows louder and louder. He lets out an agonized scream. A flash of the Watchtower shows the comic book in flames. Stephen is engulfed in a corresponding pentagram, which explodes with red light. The shock wave sends Chloe hurtling backwards off the roof. She plummets down and down and then, just before she can splat all over the city street below, Clark whooshes up to catch her. He carries her back up to the roof and sets her back on her feet. Back to his true self, little boy Alec is huddled against a wall in tears. Chloe goes to him. "Are you all right?" He goes to hug her, sniffling, "It was just an accident." That's becoming your battle cry, isn't it? Chloe tearfully rests her cheek on the top of his head.
Kent Farm. Little boy Alec gazes out the barn window as Clark comes up the stairs. "How's Chloe?" he has the sense to ask. "She's been better," Clark says. The kid apologizes, saying he's never felt like a... He can't think of the word. Clark offers: "Like a bully?" Alec nods. Clark tells him that the true test of a hero is not to let the sadness and loneliness take over. "Especially when you have super powers," Alec says. Clark agrees, and adds, "Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should." Keep that in mind time you want to toss people into walls, big guy. Alec wonders why Clark chooses to be a hero when it's so hard. "I do it because I want to help people," Clark says. Plus he gets to wear a long, flappy coat and pose moodily on rooftops. Alec smiles up at him and wonders what he's supposed to do now. Clark tells him to go home and be a kid. "And remember the time you run into a bully, there's some goodness in there." Eh. Before Alec goes, he gives Clark a drawing he made of him as the Red-Blue Blur. [It's basically the Superman costume, which means that someday Clark will rely on the fashion advice of 12-year-olds. - Z] They beam at each other.
Clark brings Alec to the Daily Planet because the show couldn't afford to build a police station set. Zatanna is waiting there with Alec's aunt and a cop. The kid goes off with his aunt, at least content in the knowledge that 12 or so years from now, he'll be super hot. Zatanna tells Clark, "I could swear there's a twinkle of magic in your eyes." Nah, it's just the overhead lighting. Clark says he always gains a bit of perspective when Zatanna's around. She wonders if they could find a way to keep their "team-up" going? So that's what the kids are calling it these days. Clark says he's flattered, but... He looks across the room to where Lois is tangled up in a phone cord and cursing under her breath. "I think I'm interested in finding my fantasy somewhere else," he says. Zatanna glances at Lois before turning back to Clark with a sad smile. "Must be love," she says. Clark looks surprised. Zatanna goes on: "Make sure she knows just how lucky she is, Clark." With that, she heads up the stairs, tossing one final smile over her shoulder at Clark.
Clark heads over to Lois's desk where she's still fighting with the phone cord. [Those things can be tricky. - Z] Lois finally gets herself untangled and mentions that Zatanna got the charges against Alec dropped. Speaking of the lady magician... Clark follows Lois through the office, stammering about Zatanna being just a friend until Lois tells him to just spit it out. Comical music plays. Clark takes a big breath and spills: When he and Zatanna were tracking down leads for the comic book ("Which was the truth and totally still is the truth!" Clark reassures Lois), they were talking and before he knew it, Zatanna was really close to him. "She kissed me," he says, then quickly adds, "but it's not what I meant to happen!" Plus, you actually kissed her because of her icky magical spell. I don't know why he can't tell the actual, whole truth here, since Lois knows about magic stuff being real. Instead of badgering him, Lois smiles. "I was wondering how long it would take you to fess up," she says. Clark seems shocked she saw through his tissue of lies. He promises it'll never happen again. Lois admits to being insecure about it, which she hates, but she'll get used to other people thinking Clark is fantastic. Clark seems relieved. "This isn't the reaction I expected," he says. Lois tells him to expect the unexpected and then proceeds to grab the first guy who walks by, dipping him like they're on Dancing With the Stars and plants a kiss on him. She lets him up after a few seconds so he can wander away wondering what the hell that was all about. Lois triumphantly tells Clark to remember that the time one of his "lady friends" invades his personal space. Clark, not at all perturbed, goes on with the rest of his apology by inviting Lois to a costume ball at MetCon. Lois points out he hates costumes. He does, but being with her is his fantasy. She's charmed and accepts the apology. They smile sweetly at each for a few seconds, then Lois drops the bomb: "I get to pick out your costume!" She drags him away to play dress-up. She simply has to make him wear that French maid outfit.
Watchtower. Chloe's just returning from a long day of high heels and heroic letdowns. As she walks through the door, an arrow slices through the air, hitting a target that's set up nearby. Her initial surprise gives way to a sigh. "Slow night?" she asks, undoing the belt of her coat. Romantic guitar music of the usual CW variety begins to play. Oliver says he thought he'd get some target practice and some scotch. "Did you bring enough for the rest of the class?" she asks, sounding utterly exhausted. "Help yourself, Professor," he says, then remarks, "Running a little light on allegory tonight." Was that the word you were really looking for, Oliver? He shoots off another arrow and asks after Chloe's day. She drops onto the sofa behind him and pours her drink. "Someone asked me when the last time I had a good time was... and I didn't have an answer." Oliver looks back at her, smiling a little. Without her coat, she's got on a sleeveless, olive green top and black skirt. I repeat: Her shirt is olive green. No one could fault her for being on edge, he says. He turns back to his target practice. He gets it, he says. She smiles. He goes on, "Sometimes, you gotta take your fun where you can get it." He lets another arrow fly. "And sometimes, it's right in front of your face. You just have to want to see it." He turns to look at Chloe with an unusually bare expression. She smiles at him some more but I don't think she's quite getting his drift yet. He gestures for her to join him and she deliberately places her glass on the table. Having kicked off her high heels, she pads over to him in a way that's somehow sexier because it's not trying to be sexy. It's the way you'd get up from bed and walk to the bathroom while your significant other watches. It's... familiar and without pretense. Oliver positions Chloe's hands on his bow and arrow, then moves into position behind her. He lifts her right elbow ever so slightly, then runs his fingers down the length of her forearm to her fingers. "How do I know when to let go?" she asks in a murmur. She looks a little scared, but then he tells her, "It's all about your heart. Just listen, right there in between the beats." She looks down at his fingers touching hers. He whispers in her ear, "That's when you let go." She swallows and then, with a breath, lets the arrow (and possibly more) just go. Hot damn. Good job on the direction, Allison Mack.
So, overall, a pretty good episode! At first I felt like this whole thing with Chloe and Oliver felt like it came out of nowhere, but then I remembered thinking in "Roulette" that he seemed attracted to her and then there was the bit last week where he seemed quick to explain that his emailing with Canary was "purely platonic." By Smallville standards, that probably counts as emotional continuity, such as it is. I shouldn't get my hopes up, given the show's history with relationships, but it's hard not to when they've got such potential.
Discuss this episode in our forums, then see what other superbeings have crossed Clark in our guide to the Heroes and Villains of Smallville!
Tippi Blevins has never written a so-called cursed comic book, but she did write a comic book called Cursed. You can reach her at b_tippi@yahoo.com or twitter.com/TippiB