Episode Report Card Omar G: C | 4 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Maybe We Could Call Her 'The Tit'
By Omar G | Season 8 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.23.2009
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.When she and Chloe get carjacked in the alleys of Metropolis, Lois kicks the ass of their attackers despite wearing a dress and stiletto-heeled boots, and establishes the superhero alter ego of Stiletto. Hoping to draw out the Red-Blue Blur, Lois violates journalistic ethics by quoting Stiletto in a story, dressing up in vinyl and getting Jimmy to take pictures of her. The thugs get away with Chloe's encrypted, secrets-filled laptop, and Chloe asks Clark to get it back lest Justice League secrets become known. The thief, Mannheim, takes over his gang by whacking his counterfeiter boss in the back room of the Ace of Clubs, where Jimmy is working as a bartender. When he finds out that Jimmy's camera holds pictures of Chloe and Stiletto, Mannheim smacks him around, sends a thug to shank Chloe (who is promptly eaten by Bloomsday), and decides to hack the laptop. Clark confronts Loistiletto at a crime scene and tells her not to publish the story of lies, or things could go badly, so she goes to find Jimmy at the club -- which is also where Clark is heading, to investigate the crimeboss whose lawyer sprung the other carjacker. Clark is immediately weakened by the counterfeit bills (because they're using Kryptonite to get the color right, naturally) and Loistiletto has to crash through a skylight to save him and Jimmy. Clark takes a bullet for Lois, and Jimmy helps bring down Mannheim and turn him in. Lois is eternally grateful to Clark, calling him a superhero and bringing him lunch at his desk, and Clark pays her back by getting her a phone call with the Red-Blue Blur. Meanwhile, Jimmy uses some of the counterfeit bills to support his drug habit, and Chloe takes out the body parts and realizes there's blood on her hands. The girl is starting to lose it, big time. - Zach Oat
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Want more? The full recap starts right below!Four episodes left in the season. Let's get the obligatory, "Oh yeah, Lois Lane has feelings and stuff, supposedly" episode out of the way.
We see the front of a theater in Metropolis (spelled, in a very untheatrical way, "Theater" instead of "Theatre") at night. The marquee reads, "Edward R Murrow Press Society." Worst movie title ever. And I thought last week's movie, Geraldo Rivera's Poker Night Crew was bad. There's flash photography coming from inside the theater, but it really just looks like a strobe light at a nightclub. Outside are dual red carpets, a limousine and other things newspaper journalists never, ever get to partake of for themselves. This must be a broadcast journalist-only event. A thin, blonde woman who is cocking her hip to the side and rocking a clipboard tells another woman that if she's not a member of the press society, she won't be on the list. "Check again," a voice from my nightmares says, "LOIS. LANE." We get the reverse angle and see Lois, who's wearing a silky black scarf around her neck. Her hair is brushed forward. She tells the lady she's written tons of stories for The Daily Planet. Some of them even ran in the paper. The door lady says she's heard of the paper. But Lois? "Not so much," she tells our journalism antihero. The woman tries to ignore Lois, but Lois implores her with the sad tale of the five-inch boot heels she had to wear to this thing. Yeah, that's not gonna get you in. You should have gone with, "The five-part series I wrote about Somali refugees." The woman says there's nothing she can do. There really usually isn't anything anyone can do when Lois is around, except strap in and try to shut your ears off.
Lois, annoyed, asks the woman to tell Edward R. Murrow that he can kiss her sweet cub reporter -- and then she's interrupted by Chloe. I bet Murrow wishes he was alive to kiss anyone's ass. Or that he was zombified enough that he could do a story on the tastiness of human brains. Lois thanks Chloe for coming and tells her that "The gargoyle at the gate" won't let her in. The gargoyle can hear you. Dumb Shit Lois strikes again. Chloe says her car's around the corner. She leads Lois away. Lois, who doesn't know that Edward R. Murrow is dead, knows that this was the premier event for journalistic excellence. There should be a Lois Lane-proof force field around it, if that's the case. It would be powered by the tears of editors. We see Lois's outfit in full. Black scarf, boob-lifting little black dress, gigantic leather boots. Well, that is the standard newspaper reporter eveningwear, I gotta give her that. Chloe lies and calls Lois an excellent reporter. *cough*bullshit*cough* Lois complains that she was a good reporter, but you're only as good as your last story and she hasn't had a good story in a while. [Wasn't she covering some big dealie in Mexico a couple episodes ago? - Zach] Lois goes on to complain that she needs a news flash. A pregnant man or an impeached president. What is your beat, exactly? Genitals? Lois would like it even better if she got a good superhero story. Chloe thought Lois gave that up when she wrote an open letter to Red-Blue Blur and was ignored. Lois blames herself; she says you don't start interviewing rock stars by beginning with Springsteen. Chloe calls her a Red-Blue Blur groupie. Lois says the guy has reinvented the American hero. She says he saves people, is mysterious and is completely unavailable. "What part of that doesn't scream 'Lois Lane?'" Lois Lane asks. Lady... you got some really fucked-up things going on in that head of yours.