Television Without Pity | Smallville TV Show - Smallville Recaps, Smallville Reviews & Smallville Episodes | TWoP

By Omar G

Clark is kidnapped from the Barnness of Plotitude by some Kryptonite Taser-wielding thugs. It turns out it's an elaborate plan by Papa Luthor to enslave Clark in a kryptonite-lined cage because he's freaked out that somebody keeps sending him secret messages about "Veritas." Veritas, it turns out, was a rich-people society that Papa Luthor was a part of, along with Dr. Swann, the Teagues, and the Queens. Dr. Swann's hot daughter Patricia shows up and accuses Papa Luthor of killing all of them (except Dr. Quinn: Medicine Teague, who was iced by Lana). Patricia reveals that Veritas knew that a traveler from Krypton was coming before the meteor shower and that they swore to protect him. She thinks Papa Luthor killed them all so that he could have Clark for himself. Patricia tells Lex just enough about all this to freak him out, especially when she produces a childhood drawing Lex did of the Veritas symbol. She and Lex were childhood buds. Meanwhile, Chloe and Lana try to find Clark and believe the only way to do that is to rescue amnesiac Kara from Lex Castle. They do so using Lana's knowledge of Lex's secret entrances (I thought only Clark knew those). Chloe transports Kara to the Fortress using Clark's octagon, but leaves Lana behind for unexplained reasons. Jarnelle hears Chloe's plea to help Clark and restores Kara's memory. Kara rescues Clark from Papa Luthor's evil lab by destroying everything in sight. There's also a mean Kryptonite freak-hating henchman who tortures Clark, but he's hardly worth mentioning. Later, Patricia tells Clark how much Dr. Swann admired him and gives him one of her dad's special science journals. Clark treasures it. She decides to move to Metropolis to help Clark "The Traveler" Kent through his journeys. That lasts about three seconds because on her way to Metropolis, her driver stops the car and shoots her in the head. And here I thought she was really smart and knew how to protect herself. It turns out Lex was behind the murder. In the end, he plays with a bloodied necklace she'd been wearing, one that has the Veritas symbol on it. Clark goes to Papa Luthor, prepared to hate him, but Papa Luthor pleads with Clark that he was only trying to protect him and that it was all a big misunderstanding. Clark decides that Lex and Papa Luthor might be lost causes.

In case you haven't heard, we have some new management on board at this site. Of course, as soon as I got the news, I had the same question you might have and it was addressed in a very quick phone call:

Omar: Are you going to make me take all the gay out of my recaps?
New Bravo/TWoP bosses: How gay are we talking here?
Omar: Well, you never know with this show. Sometimes it's not gay for a long time. Like Spike TV. Other times, it comes back around in full force. Like a Project Runway marathon.
New Bravo/TWoP bosses: Just keep doing what you're doing. Did you have any other questions?
Omar: Will there be delicious cupcakes every morning?
New Bravo/TWoP bosses: Were there cupcakes before?
Omar: Not really.
New Bravo/TWoP bosses: Then no.
Omar: Aw.

But enough cupcake politics. We begin on the Metropolis skyline at night. Papa Luthor is at his LuthorCorp desk staring intently as a set of papers that someone was nice enough to three-hole-punch. Papa Luthor takes his fancy pen and writes on the sheets, "Please, God, just one more season, please. Renovating a Manhattan apartment is freakin' expensive!" Papa's assistant, whom we can't see, hands over a piece of paper and says, "You've received another one, sir." Damn that Ed McMahon and his pesky publishers and their clearinghouses! Will they never stop! Papa takes the card as if it's a ticking time bomb. He tells the assistant that he doesn't need any more help for tonight. The envelope has a familiar maroon wax seal on it with a fancy "V." I know it's for "Veritas," but it would also be nice if it was an invitation for John Glover to come perform in The Vagina Monologues. I would pay cash money to see that. Papa drops his pen nervously. He picks up a swordy letter opener and violates the envelope. He reads the card within, but we can't see the text. Papa Luthor breathes deeply and warily. We cut to a view of him from outside his office window. As opera music is playing, he stares out into the night. He looks to the stars.

The music continues as we see the same blanket of night over Kent Farm. We pan across to reveal the inside of the dark Barnness of Nonilluminatitude. Clark is walking up to the loft.

By Omar G

The music continues as we see the same blanket of night over Kent Farm. We pan across to reveal the inside of the dark Barnness of Nonilluminatitude. Clark is walking up to the loft. He turns on a lamp and opens a desk drawer. He finds a book and opens it. Inside is an octagon-shaped hole cut out with the Octagonal Disc of Fortress Visiting lying inside. Clark forgot why he came up here. Oh yeah! Octagon! Nearby, we see the shapes of shadows lurking about. Clark hears something. He starts walking toward the stairs. Doesn't see anything. "Lana?" he calls. A green string flies toward Clark and stabs him in the chest. It's a Taser string! And not just that, it's green. A Kryptonite Taser! Genius! Don't tase him, bro! They totally do. Some Patton Oswalt-looking dude in a black cap punches Clark in the face while the green Taser cord is still locked on Clark's chest. Patton Lite punches Clark and they both fall down, knocking over the railing and landing on the ground level of the barn. Clark pulls out the Taser spear from his chest. It glows bright green and looks like a tiny harpoon. Clark staggers to his feet. He throws Patton across the room just as the guy was reaching for his giant Super Soaker-like Taser gun. Into his wristwatch walkie-talkie, Patton says, "Bring him down." Who knows why the dude was trying to take out Clark by himself in the first place, but his buddies show up wearing Rainbow Six gear. Curly Taser cords start flying at Clark from all directions, tagging him all over the torso. We'll tear your soul apart! Or at least your shirt! He clenches his fists and looks up at the sky as the camera pulls back. Nooooo, brooooo! Suddenly, Batman's giant tank SUV shows up and more soldiers come out to attack Clark. He falls to his knees as bright lights shine at him from all directions. Not-Patton Oswalt comes up to Clark, grabs him by the hair on the back of his head and looks straight at him. "I can see why they want you," he says. Whoa! This may be the earlier Gayest Look of the Episode we've ever had. Patton is clearly infatuated and wanted some alone time with Clark before the whole military squad showed up. Sorry your quickie got ruined, dude. He kicks Clark in the face because he can't kiss him. Clark lies on the ground, all scuffed up. "Target acquired," the guy says into his radio, which is a separate device from his wristwatch communicator. And what a pretty target it is.

By Omar G

Lana must be the slowest walker in history. That or she saw the barn, went back to the house, and they came back out so she could react in surprise and horror a second time. Either way, Lana sucks. Lana says she came home and Clark was gone. She remembers that the last time that Clark disappeared, he was trapped in the Fortress for a month. Chloe, looking around, asks why Clark would go back and risk a "Big chill" a second time. This is Clark we're talking about. He's not the brightest bulb on the strand of Christmas lights, you know. Lana says they just found out Kara moved in with Lex and that Clark was hoping Jarnelle would give Kara back her memory. Like Jarnelle is holding it hostage or something. "Before Lex uncovers her secret," Chloe concludes. Lana says that Clark wanted to get up to the Fortress fast, but he needed something from the loft first. Chloe spots Clark's book, up the stairs, near the edge where the railing used to be. She opens it and finds the Octagonal Interstellar Bus Pass. Chloe doesn't think Clark got what he was looking for. She sighs and says that the key opens the portal to the Fortress. Lana asks how Chloe knows that. Chloe says she followed Clark once and saw him use it. Chloe says Clark never made it and someone must have stopped them. Lana spots a Kryptonite Taser dart on the floor, which is literally finding a needle in multiple haystacks. In fact, there's hay all around. The dart has a tiny piece of bright red fabric on it. Clark's awful fashion sense! Dramatic music.

Clark is lying in a high-tech cage, which has a brightly lit floor. He wakes up and looks around. There's a grid on the floor and all around is glass and steel. The whole room lights up. It's one of those super-secret labs the Luthors are always building. After the fifth one, the builder gives you a sixth Evil Lair Holding Cage complimentary. It's just good business. Clark tries to touch one of the bars. They all suddenly light up bright green, making him cringe. "Stay in the center of your cell!" a menacing voice says over a loudspeaker. "Where am I?" Clark asks. Clark is still bloodied in the face. He sees orb-looking video cameras mounted on the corners of the cage. We cut to Evil Patton Oswalt, who is grimacing as he watches Clark.

By Omar G

Stupid pretty Kryptonian! He pushes a giant airplane lever up, which makes the green bars of the cage glow more intensely. Clark falls in pain. Patton, still pissed, brings the lever back down. Clark tries to stand again. "Come out here! Come out here and face me!" he demands. Er, no. But thank you for the offer! Kthxby! Clark tries to run at the bars, but of course, they just throw him back. Clark is in pain. The floor lights up bright green and he writhes. Patton tells Clark that he just experienced 20 percent of the intensity the Kryptonite-laced bars of the cage are capable of producing. Patton offers to raise it by 50 percent if Clark keeps being a jerk. "I'm guessing 100 percent will kill you," he says. Let's find out! Patton starts to raise the levels again and Clark rolls again. I swear Clark spends half his time on this show on his back being all Krypto-affected.

Metropolis, daytime. A helicopter is landing on a big open parking lot from which we can see much of the city. An expensive town car pulls into the lot. Papa Luthor emerges from the chopper to meet the car. Hey, it's Gina Holden from Flash Gordon. She's got her hair pulled back and is holding an umbrella. She watches Papa Luthor approach and doesn't seem happy about it. Papa Luthor, not so scared anymore, says, "Who would have guessed that skinny little Patty Swann" was the author of those "alarmingly cryptic messages." The woman says her name is "Patricia" and lies that it's nice to see him, too. Papa reminisces about how the last time he saw her, she and Lex were kids swimming at the lake. He reminds her that her dad loved the outdoors. Papa wonders aloud why Swann would have wanted to lock himself up in a musty planetarium. Patricia says the family get-togethers weren't about the outdoors. She tells Papa that she's received her father's research after a long probate. That's like a rebate, but more professional. As the camera zooms in on her face tightly, Patricia says that her father was obsessed with a traveler from another galaxy. She says The Traveler came to Smallville in the meteor shower. Papa, smiling, says her dad had a vivid imagination. Not moving her umbrella hand a millimeter, she says that he wasn't the only one who believed in The Traveler. AAA, for instance, built their whole business around him. She says four powerful families used to meet every summer to discuss this being: the Queens, the Teagues, the Swanns and Papa Luthor. Why didn't Papa bring his wife along? Papa doesn't change his expression.

By Omar G

She says that they were a secret society called "Veritas." Trying to keep it light, he says, "That's right, Veritas, our astronomy club!" Ha. Nice. We were so bored sometimes we just spent all night trying to find Uranus. Ha! It's funny because it's true! Patricia, not one for humor, says that they had planned to welcome The Traveler and protect him once he arrived. So it was gonna be a galactic rich-people hostel/bed-and-breakfast? "But everyone died," she says. Papa turns away. "Except you," she adds. Papa asks where she's going with this. "You killed Edward Teague. And Robert and Laura Teague. And I am sure that you had a hand in my father's death," she says. Papa, not liking the accusation, says, "Pity his brilliance was lost on you." He starts to walk away, back toward the helicopter. The blades stopped spinning awfully quickly. Patricia calls out that she has proof. She says her father kept evidence in his journals. "You wanted The Traveler all to yourself," she says. You have to admit, it would be been the ultimate Christmas gift for Lex. She says he wanted The Traveler for his own personal gain. She tells him to turn over "The son of Krypton" or she'll expose the evidence of the murders. Papa chuckles. "A traveler from another galaxy? A clandestine cabal, a series of murders. That's quite a story!" he says. He warns her to be careful. "Don't test me, Lionel," she replies. She tells him to take her to The Traveler right now. Papa says she's still the same bossy little girl she used to be. "But this time, Patty," he says, inching in menacingly, "you're swimming way out of your depth." Papa goes back to the helicopter. The blades are starting to turn slowly. She watches him go.

Stately Luthor Manor, nighttime. Kara, wearing a way-too-revealing white top and pajama bottoms, is sitting on the bed in what looks like Lana's old bedroom. She's going over documents related to her past that are all faked. There's a biology award, a citizenship award and what looks like a printout of a yearbook page. Kara sure wore a lot of eye makeup at Chippewa County High School. Her little write-up thanks her teachers for all their help and says she'll be modeling in the summer. Lex comes in through the open door. He asks how she likes her room. Kara, who looks awfully comfy, says she just moved in last night and it already feels like home. She thanks Lex. Lex asks if she's looking at her "Alleged biography." Kara says she's trying to jog her memory one last time. She doesn't think she was ever that person. Lex, sitting down on the bed, suggests she try the procedure they discussed.

By Omar G

Kara says she doesn't like hospitals. Lex says it'll be done in his private clinic. He says he's got a top team of neurologists. Kara thinks. "You said you trusted me. Trust me now. Let me help you." Kara finally agrees. Big close-ups. Lex says he'll put his team together as soon as possible. He goes to the door and wishes her goodnight. No kiss? Kara stares again at her yearbook photo. Mmmm, modeling.

Lex, in his office, meets his lady assistant. They both watch Kara on security monitors he once said he'd remove from Lana's bedroom. The assistant says they haven't seen anything to suggest she's more than a pretty girl from Minnesota. Lex says he doesn't pay people to compliment her appearance. He says looks can be deceiving. The assistant tries to protest, but Lex says that her brain might contain answers to questions he's had for a long time. We need that nearly-empty brain! He says he's waited long enough. The assistant says the lab can be ready by the day. Lex says that if she starts to get her memory back, the place should be locked down. He keeps watching her in bed. The camera zooms in on her face. Voyeuristic. Shouldn't she be showering soon?

Clark's cage. Evil Patton just keeps torturing Clark. Isn't he tired of that yet? Papa Luthor comes in and sees what's happening. He yells at the guy to stop it. Now! He does, reluctantly. Papa says he built the cell to contain Clark, not torture him. Patton says he was hired because of his experience dealing with meteor freaks. Papa warns that if anything happens to Clark, Evil Patton Oswalt will be held responsible. Patton chews on that. Papa watches Clark lying in the cell. Clark is still groaning.

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Papa Luthor is in his office at LuthorCorp having a stern disagreement with someone via cell phone. He says things like, "I don't agree with you," and "absolutely not." Papa Luthor has already voted in the primary! Leave him alone! Chloe and Lana walk in, sans invitation or security passes. "I'll get back to you," Papa tells the person on the phone. Does that mean you're voting for McCain? Hello? Are you there, sir? Papa tells Lana and "Miss Sullivan" that he's discreetly searching government agencies for any sign of Clark. Oh noes, the Treasury Department's got him! They're making him process IRS forms really, really fast! Lana thinks Papa Luthor might be able to help in another way. She shows him a tiny baggie holding the Kryptonite Taser dart.

By Omar G

Papa takes it out of the bag and does a quick examination. He says it looks like an electrode from a Taser gun. "This is Kryptonite," he says. You know, not everything that's green on this show has to be Kryptonite. Maybe it's a Glo-stick. Chloe says they found it in the barn. Lana thinks that the only people who know about Clark's weakness are the people in the room. What about Pete? And Brainiac? And like a gazillion residents of Belle Reve? It's not such a huge secret, Lana. "What about Kara?" Papa offers. He reminds them that she just moved in with Lex. We know, dude, we know. Papa thinks her memory might be coming back. He slyly goes to his briefcase and puts the Taser evidence in there as he says he'd hate for his son to be involved in any of this. "This is Clark's worst fear," Chloe says. Bigger than being outed? Papa brings up LX Technologies. He says they're doing contracts for military research. He promises to look into it and see if there's any electro-shocking involved. "If he harms Clark, I will kill him," Lana says, trying to sound tough. It doesn't work out so well for her. Papa look surprised at that. He says that he'll deal with Lex; it's his son, after all. He says he wants Clark back safely as much as she does. Nice lying. Really. Top-notch.

Daily Planet, daytime. Once again, Lana is allowed to walk around the newsroom with no visitor's badge and apparently can use the computers to do research on LX Labs. Wouldn't the Daily Planet, where Lex is monitoring the servers, be the absolute worst place to do research on something evil that Lex is doing? A Starbucks across the street would be more secure. Lana found evidence that LX is building experimental Tasers for the military. Don't Tase me, Sarge! Chloe, rocking a Dell computer, says she found an abandoned warehouse outside the city where Clark may be held. Chloe shows Lana some of the work orders. Lana reads that there's reinforced concrete, Plexiglas and a ton of refined meteor rock involved. Lana thinks Lex has built another 33.1. "Wrong Luthor," Chloe says. Chloe says all the records show that Papa Luthor signed off on all of this. I refuse to believe he'd be so sloppy as to allow electronic records with his name all over them to exist somewhere that Chloe or Lana could get to them. He's not that stupid. I want to believe. Lana can see that construction of the holding pen started around the time that Papa Luthor found out about Clark's secret. Chloe says the utilities just turned the juice on the building two days before. Lana says that Papa Luthor has been planning this kidnapping for months and that the place is built like Fort Knox.

By Omar G

"We need Kara," Chloe says. Lana says she doesn't have her powers back yet. Chloe thinks they can "Polar Express" her to the Fortress themselves. Chloe says she can get Kara there if they can get her out of the mansion. Chloe thinks the security has probably quadrupled since Kara moved in. Eh, not so much. This is Luthor Manor we're talking about. Four times zero is still zero. Lana suggests something "A little more stealth." She says that when she was married to Lex, he showed her some secret escape passages he had built in case of another home invasion. Lana wants to use them as entrances. She originally wanted to use them as extra closet space.

Lair of Lex. Lex is meeting with Patricia Swann and seems to genuinely enjoy catching up with an old childhood friend. I thought he didn't have childhood friends. She has her hair down and is wearing a black dress and rrrrowwwr. She pretends she was just passing through and wanted to visit with Lex. Lex says he doesn't remember the years they played together. He says after the meteor shower, a lot of his childhood became a fog. She says it must have been traumatizing. "I survived," he says simply. Being gay and listening to Gloria Gaynor helped. He asks whatever happened to her. Patricia says she studied abroad most of her life and stayed in Europe after her dad died. I spent a lot of college studying several broads. Lex says he always admired Dr. Swann's genius. He says he's sorry about the death. Patricia thanks him. She says she's doing her best to carry on his legacy. She touches a locket around her neck. Lex admires it. She says her father gave it to her before he passed away. She presents a gift for Lex. It's a painting he did of a sun with a constellation and a big V inside. Veritas! Ask for it by name! Patricia says Lex gave it to her as a gift when they were kids. "Well, I guess I thought I could romance you with my ABCs," he says, charmingly. Patricia says it's an insignia from when their parents used to get together with the Teagues and the Queens. Lex says he doesn't remember that at all. She says that the "V" was from Veritas, their astronomy club. She says they discussed secret things while the kids played. Key parties. Lots of body hair. Lex asks what they talked about. Patricia pretends not to know. She says that since Papa Luthor is the last surviving member, he can probably explain to Lex what it was. "You should tell him I say hello," she offers. Sneaky lady! Lex purses his lips because this is some mindblowing stuff for him.

By Omar G

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LuthorCorp. Lex is handing over his Veritas painting to Papa Luthor, who chuckles and asks, "Where did you find this?" Lex says he got a visit from Patricia Swann. Lex says he made it around the time he was learning his way around a paintbrush. Papa Luthor says slyly that if Lex is looking for a little validation for his childhood artistry, it's a little late. Actually, Lex was hoping you would put it on the LuthorCorp refrigerator. He brought magnets. Lex says it stands for Veritas and asks Papa to explain what up wit dat. Papa breezily explains it was just misguided musings of young idealists. "We took ourselves much too seriously, I'm embarrassed to say," he tells Lex as he pours a drink. Are Luthors always lying if they're pouring a drink while they talk? Lex asks what secret might be so big they'd have to build a whole group around it. "Skull & Bones, Scroll & Key, the Delphic," Papa Luthor says, "the rich have secret societies, the others have poker nights." The Others have a poker night? That must be wicked. Lex says that all the other Veritas members are dead. "Why'd you kill them?" he asks. Papa, drinking, tells Lex to give it a rest and asks him to let "it" rest in peace. Lex says he can't do that. Papa, suddenly pouncing, hands the painting back to him and tells his son to take it for what it is: "A reminder of what you could have become." Ouch! That's hitting below the belt, even for a Luthor. Lex says that if Papa Luthor won't tell him the truth, he's sure Patricia will. He walks out, leaving Papa to dial his phone. "Yeah, he was just here. He delivered your message. I'm ready, Patricia, to make a deal," Papa says.

Lana is shutting the back of Chloe's Yaris, which is packed with break-in supplies like bottled water and a flashlight. They're just outside The Talon. Lana shows Chloe a blueprint she somehow acquired. It shows a secret passageway connected to a hill she says is pretty far off the road. Lana says it'll take a while to climb. "If it means saving Clark, I'd climb Mt. Everest," Chloe says, rolling up her window. And there goes the Yaris.

Lex's House of Peeping. Lex walks in to his lair asking his assistant if Kara and the lab are ready. The assistant, who appears to be wearing strange red stockings, says they are. "Good, it's time to find some answers," Lex says. Go team! The monitors suddenly go to static.

By Omar G

Lex, alarmed, turns and asks, "What happened?" Speedy 24-style music starts to play. "The feed's been cut!" Lady Assistant tells Lex. "Lock this place down! Now!" Lex barks. He starts to run out of the room. We cut to the bedroom where Kara grabs her bags to go. Lana and Chloe suddenly pop into her room. Lana says she has to come with them now. "We'll explain everything later. You have to trust us," Chloe says. If I were Kara, I totally wouldn't. We see Lex and a henchman approach the room. They enter Kara's room, but she's already gone. Did they take Kara by force? Because I just can't see her trusting Chloe or Lana. Lex looks around the empty room. Dammit!

The Kryptonite cage. Clark, still bloodied up, is standing. Poor Man's Patton Oswalt taps on the glass with his Taser gun. He tell Clark that he's not getting out of there and that he helped design this cage. Uh... thanks? "What do you want from me?" Clark asks. Patton walks around the cage. He says he's seen a lot of terrible things in this town. Brother, so have I. So have I. He asks how a place called "Smallville" could be filled with such death and destruction. Because it's on The CW? He thinks it has something to do with Clark. Clark wonders if he won't reconsider keeping him in this cage. He asks if the guy works for the government. The guy says he was head of security at 33.1. The lab that kept getting broken into? Heck of a job there, Brownie. He says he tracked down a lot of meteor freaks, but Clark's in a category all by himself. The dumb, gay, primary-color-wearing, male model category. "The government wouldn't know what to do with you," Patton tells Clark. Yeah, they'd play with him for two hours, and one government official would be like, "I'm bored. What should we do with him now?" "I don't know man. He sucks at Guitar Hero, even with his superpowers. I say we let him go home." Patton swivels around a duplicate console from the one he was using earlier. This one is conveniently located right to the cage. He raises the lever and makes it go dark green again. Clark arches his body in pain. It burns, dude! You dick! Clark falls. Patton is really enjoying this. "Enjoy your stay... freak," he tells Clark. Big dramatic music.

The Fortress. Nighttime. Chloe and Kara are there. Lana has been ditched somewhere, which is probably for the best. Kara asks where they are because, damn, it's freezing up in here. Brrrr, muthafucka, brrrr! Chloe says it's Clark's Fortress and that they're way up in the North Pole.

By Omar G

We're here to take out Santa Claus. If you see him, shiv him with an icicle. Kara asks how they got here. Portal, right? Chloe advises Kara that if there's a sudden shift in weather to just get out as fast as she can. "Hello?" Chloe calls out. She asks for Jarnelle. "Yes? Can I help you? Uh huh... how interesting. Could you repeat that? Ah. I see. Well, ha ha, I fooled you because I'm not home right now, but if you'll leave a message for the Els after the beep..." Chloe doesn't wait for an answer. She says that she knows his brother started all this, but that in order to help Clark, they need to restore Kara's memory and her powers. No answer. Kara says that whatever Jarnelle is, he's clearly not here right now. Did I mention, "Brrrr?" Chloe gets mad. She yells that of all the planets across the universe, he decided to send Clark to this one. "You trusted us to protect him! Now please, Jor-El, I need you to trust me! I love your son! He's in danger and he needs our help!" Nice! We'll put that on the Emmy reel. Again. We hear ice suddenly shift. The lights go dim. Something orange glows near Kara. "What's happening?" she yells. Chloe smiles. Shafts of light appear below Kara, lifting her up. She arches her back and raises her arms. Eyes closed, she rises up. Then she's suddenly surrounded by light on the floor and getting up. It's a speedy oil change here at the Jiffy-Fort. Kara stands. Residual lightning flashes. "Why are we in the Fortress?" she asks Chloe. Chloe tells her they have to save Clark. All right. Cool. I'll put on a silly outfit. Kara looks confused and the camera stays on her for a few seconds too long.

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House of the Krypto-Cage. Clark is still hugging the floor. Papa Luthor is watching him grimly from the upstairs control console. Patricia Swann is led in to meet him. She says her lawyers know where she is; if he kills her, they'll know who did it. And you know how much lawyers like taking down rich guys with billions of dollars. Well hi and how are you to you, too, Patty. Papa asks if the papers she brought are the evidence. "My father taught me to keep my word," she says. Papa reaches for her briefcase, but she says she wants to see Clark first. Papa raises his arm and gestures toward the cage. Patricia is not thrilled about that. "You put him in a cage?!" she asks. To be fair, Papa Luthor thought Clark might be able to mate with a panda. Let's just say the panda wasn't having it. Papa says he's fulfilled his part of the agreement and expects her to do the same.

By Omar G

"Not yet," Patricia says. She sees Clark struggling. "I want to meet him face-to-face," she says. She wants to verify he's The Traveler. He should be carrying a towel and his uncle should have been called Traveling Matt. She says if it's really him, Papa should say his goodbyes because he's leaving with her right now. She lets down her guard, making it easier for Patton Oswalt to clomp her on the back and knock her down. Papa grabs the satchel. He tells Patton to stick Patricia on a plane back to Europe (and not kill her?) and to get Clark back to his home. He says he'll take it from there. Patton's not too keen on that plan. In fact, he quite disagrees with that. He pulls a gun on Papa Luthor. "That monster's not going anywhere," Patton says. He gives a little speech about how being rich makes people stupid. He says Clark is dangerous and could kill somebody. He thinks Clark might even be a threat to national security. He tells Papa that Lex never put the safety of a meteor freak above the safety of the world. "He knew when to terminate a project," Patton says. "You. You're not your son. And I'm gonna terminate it for you," he goes on. Papa looks toward a monitor where Clark is doing The Writhe. Papa explains that Clark isn't a threat. Patton asks if Papa thinks he's just going to let Papa and "The Swann Princess" let Clark go free. "He must be terminated," Patton says. Papa says that Clark is a human being and he'd be committing murder. Patton doesn't like that. He cracks Papa in the face, knocking him down. "It's not human," he says. It puts the lotion in the basket! He puts the gun down to raise the lever and give Clark some serious Kryptonite dosages. So green! The meter heads toward 100 percent. Clark has to find new ways to express pain. He closes his eyes. Just as he's about to die, the metal doors burst open. Kara stands there, wearing her red top and ridiculous blue half-jacket. "Clark!" she says. Clark sees her and reaches out his hand. Fashion... no-no! She eyejaculates at the control panel near the cage, making the console explode. The she zips to the cage and lifts it from the side. She flips the cage up, making it fly toward the upstairs control center. Patton runs away as it comes crashing. He falls on the ground, seemingly unconscious. Kara goes to Clark. "It's nice having you back," he tells her. Kara asks how she could have forgotten about Clark. Well, you kinda sorta did, Cuz. Smiles all around. We zoom up to the hole in the wall where the control center used to be.

By Omar G

Patton emerges with his Taser gun. He aims it at Clark. Clark and Kara both turn. Someone hits Patton with a pipe. Patton falls and lands on some glass and steel. A giant spike protrudes from his chest where he landed. The camera pans up to show Papa Luthor standing there, holding a pipe. Pipe down, Patton! Clark stands to see him. Papa is pretty bloodied up, too. Intensity!

Commercials. The idea of chocolate bunny having sex with a jar of peanut butter has just been plucked from my dreams.

Kent Farm, daytime. The cows want a Season Eight so they can finally get a real storyline. Inside the Kent kitchen, Clark is serving Patricia a hot beverage while she sticks a bag of frozen veggies on the back of her head. You're a farmer who buys frozen vegetables, Clark? Really? They should have flunked you out of FFA. Patricia says she never imagined the last son of Krypton making coffee. His cousin works at a coffee shop, too. They're sort of Kryptonian underachievers. "Just Clark," he tells her. She says her father thought the world of Clark. Which world? Clark says her dad was a great man. She presents a gift for Clark. It was her dad's journal, transcribed by his assistant. It was his last one. She gives it to Clark. It looks expensive. Where's Lana? Clark sits down and starts thumbing through the book. There are Kryptonian symbols and lots of cool-looking notes. Clark reads, "The Traveler will bring great change to the Earth." He forgot to add, "...in bed." Clark says he hopes he can live up to all these prophesies of what he's supposed to be. Patricia says she just met Clark, but she believe he's a force for good in this world. Or at least solid mediocrity. "What if that's not enough?" Clark asks. Patricia says there'll always be people like Papa Luthor willing to destroy others to get to him. She says he had the Queens' plane sabotaged so that it would crash and that he poisoned Edward Teague. She thinks he did the same thing to Dr. Swann. "Why would he do that?" Clark asks. She fills him in about Veritas. "He killed all those people because of me," Clark says, shouldering some more guilt so he can be even mopier. She tells Clark her dad always said that despite the power of the sun, it's always dark on half of the planet. He needed to spend his life in a planetarium to figure that one out? She says that for all the good Clark does, there'll always be people who try to use Clark for their own gain. She thinks Papa Luthor is just one of many. She wishes Clark would come with her. She thinks Papa Luthor is a threat to Clark as long as he's alive.

By Omar G

Clark says he'll deal with Papa. Patricia offers to take an apartment in Metropolis. She wants to be there for Clark. "Just as my father was," she says. She wants to see The Traveler change the world someday. Any time now, Clark. Get a move on.

The LuthorCorp building, which hovers over the Daily Planet like a menacing bully. Papa Luthor is in his office, shaken up and drinking again. He downs one big sip of Scotch. Clark suddenly appears. Boy is he shitting a brick right now. "Clark. Oh. I, uh." Awkward! He says he's sorry Clark had to be locked in that cell. Ha! This ought to be good. Sorry I tortured you, bro. You're still my homie, right? He says he was trying to keep Clark safe. "Safe from what?" Clark asks. Bees! Crocodiles! Crocodiles with bees in their mouths and when they open their mouths bees come out! Papa walks away, nervously stammering about some letters he got. He says they threatened to kidnap Clark and take him away. He produces the Veritas letters. Papa says he didn't know who it was until he met Patricia Swann. He says nervously that he didn't know how many people were involved. Clark asks why Papa didn't just tell him about the threat. Papa says Clark would have rushed out to find his enemies. He didn't want to take a chance Clark might get hurt. Pretty lame, dude. Clark's not buying it. Did I mention the crocodiles? Or the bees? "Instead you shoot me with a Kryptonite Taser and you lock me in a Kryptonite cell?" Clark asks. Yeah, it sounds like a bad idea now, but at the time the idea was rockin'! I text messaged it to myself and everything! Clark asks why he would even build that thing. Papa says that Clark's not the only Kryptonian to have come knocking and that his fellow travelers are usually pretty violent. He says he built the cell for them. Uh... Clark confused. Clark angry! "Then why imprison me?" Clark asks. "Clark, son," Papa says. "You're not my father!" Clark shoots back. Indeed. Clark says he spoke to Patricia and that she told him about the Veritas murders. Papa says the truth can be manipulated. Clark says Papa's been doing that for years. Papa, sweaty, says he's a different man now. Clark looks away awkwardly. He wants to believe. A weird sound effect simulates Clark's thought process. "No, you're not," Clark concludes. He walks out of the office. Papa just stands there, holding his head down. Sadness. Evil sadness.

By Omar G

He has something for Kara. He tosses her silver bracelet to her. Neat-o! "Thanks for saving my life," Clark tells her. She says she couldn't have done it without Lana and Chloe. She thinks Lex would have dissected her brain by now if not for them. She can't believe she trusted Lex. Clark says she's not the only one to be fooled by the Luthors. Clark says he used to be best friends with Lex (really? When was that?) and that he was Papa's ally. Kara says it doesn't make sense. She says Lex saved her in Detroit and Papa saved both of them in Washington. Clark drops some wisdom. He says they're only capable of doing the right thing when it benefits them. "I want to see the good in people, Kara, but I think the Luthors are a lost cause." Kara tries to digest that.

A bridge heading to Metropolis. A town car stops on the middle of the bridge. The driver steps out of the car. We see Patricia through the window of the back seat. She lowers it. "Why are we stopped?" she asks. We cut to a shot from very far behind the car to see the driver raise a gun and shoot into the back seat. He gets back into the car and drives toward Metropolis. Well, there goes another interesting guest star. Sayonara, Patty Swann.

Lair of Lex. We see the locket that Patricia had been wearing. It has a swan on it. Someone is wiping blood from the locket with a cloth. We pull back to reveal Lex. He holds up the Veritas painting and the locket at the same time. He studies them both. Couldn't he have gotten more answers out of Patricia if she were alive? Oh well. Lex doesn't seem like he makes very good evil genius decisions.

week: a key is discovered inside the locket! To what, we have no idea.

By Omar G

Kent Farm. The cows love being back! In the barn, Clark is fixing the railing going up to the loft. He pops in a nail with his palm. Kara comes in, asking if Clark needs help. Clark says she's done more than enough. He has something for Kara. He tosses her silver bracelet to her. Neat-o! "Thanks for saving my life," Clark tells her. She says she couldn't have done it without Lana and Chloe. She thinks Lex would have dissected her brain by now if not for them. She can't believe she trusted Lex. Clark says she's not the only one to be fooled by the Luthors. Clark says he used to be best friends with Lex (really? When was that?) and that he was Papa's ally. Kara says it doesn't make sense. She says Lex saved her in Detroit and Papa saved both of them in Washington. Clark drops some wisdom. He says they're only capable of doing the right thing when it benefits them. "I want to see the good in people, Kara, but I think the Luthors are a lost cause." Kara tries to digest that.

week: a key is discovered inside the locket! To what, we have no idea.

Television Without Pity | Smallville TV Show - Smallville Recaps, Smallville Reviews &amp; Smallville Episodes | TWoP

Television Without Pity | Smallville TV Show - Smallville Recaps, Smallville Reviews & Smallville Episodes | TWoP