This is quite possibly the most insane episode of this show ever. For once, the insanity is on purpose. It all starts with Clark and his friends drinking a bottle of champagne they don't realize is from Zatanna. The charmed bubbly turns everyone into fun-loving morons as they head off to bachelor and bachelorette parties for the future Mr. and Mrs. Kent. The thing you know, everyone's waking up with killer hangovers and no memory of what happened the night before. Chloe wakes up in Clark's closet dressed like Madonna's "Like a Virgin" video. The two of them spend most of the episode thinking they've married each other, due to the rings on their fingers and half a marriage license bearing Chloe's name. Lois and Oliver wake up on train tracks. Oliver's in a lime green tuxedo and Lois is down one engagement ring and up a poker chip, which she finds nestled in her bra. Emil Hamilton is an overnight Elvis-impersonating sensation and Tess is his go-go girl sidekick.
The subplots converge over a missing armored truck that some thugs accuse Emil of stealing. Clark's the one who actually stole it, but it turns out he was just taking it away from the thugs who were running some kind of insurance scam for a casino. As it happens, it's the very same casino where Lois got the chip after losing her ring at the tables. She and Oliver are kidnapped but escape by pretending to be showgirls. Yes, both of them don sequined bikinis and shake what their mamas gave them. Chloe and Clark rescue Emil, Oliver and Lois get her ring back and everything returns to normal.
Well, sort of. Chloe decides that her life's calling is to nurture budding superheroes (she mentions the future Batman and Wonder Woman, though not by name). She decides to become a reporter by day in Star City as part of her new identity. Just when it looks like she's going to break up with Oliver, we find out that they were the ones who got married and it looks like he's going with her, at least for now.
Also, there is a lemur.
Stay tuned for the full recap!