By Djb
Props to Stee...these sloppy seconds are delicious!
Okay, so here's what happened: I got a copy of this show by extremely sketchy methods quite some time ago, and I recapped it in a period of time one might call "The Past." I just watched the episode again when it aired and then read the entire recap again, and it doesn't look like they changed anything, with the possible exception, I think, of the word "dickly" to "prickly." Which, in my opinion, makes it a totally different show. But should you see one or two shots recapped that make you say, "Not so much," well, there might have been a few changes. So if you need someone to blame, blame Fox at that time of day when you're already blaming them for the downfall of all culture on the planet, okay? Thanks. I look forward to working with all of you.
It's a smoggy, lane-changing, Bruckheimer-produced afternoon in downtown Los Angeles, the director's tattered copy of The Training Day Guide To Directing Debased, Bleached-Out Urban Sprawl flipped to its opening page, "Chapter 1: Making Traffic Patterns Look Super-Gritty." We pan around in a (gritty) helicopter, dollying over twisting metaphors for the human condition (er, I mean "highways"...er, I mean "gritty highways"), coming to rest on a shot of a car-radio dial tuning to 810 AM. Lucky for us, we've tuned into Backstory Radio: You Give Us Twenty-Two Minutes, We'll Give You Everything That's Happened Until Now, Ever. Luckily again, Backstory Radio also seems to have a television affiliate, as we cut to a shot of KPFW-12 News broadcasting a picture of a little girl named "Elizabeth Daniels, age 8." Backstory TV: You Scratch Our Backstory, We'll Scratch Yours. As a soaring helicopter flies over L.A. and the middle three hours of Goodfellas are all "Hey, give us that shot back!" we're caught up on Ms. Daniels and why she gets to be famous on the Backstory Show: "Eight-year-old Elizabeth Daniels of West Los Angeles was taken from her bedroom last night." ["Poor timing on the part of Fox, since that actually had just happened in north Toronto the day this episode aired." -- Wing Chun] Cut to a shot of a billboard displaying the young girl's face, along with the Amber Alert logo and a phone number of 1-800-555-0136, in case anyone has more information and a desire to be an anonymous tipster to one of those distracting, fake TV phone numbers that take you out of the action and remind you that there's no need to cry for Elizabeth Daniels...for she is already dead.