The Rainbow of Her Reasons

It's never good when the opening scene contains characters we know. Unless, of course, one or more of those characters is annoying. In this case, Ruth's sister Sarah is hiking along a high canyon ridge. Her friend Fiona is winded and lagging behind a bit, but she says she's glad Sarah got her out of the house. Sure, she says that now, but we all know that at least one of these two women is going to end the scene at a much lower altitude than she's currently at. This trail should have a guardrail or something. Fiona wobbles, but Sarah's too excited over the view they're about to enjoy to even consider slowing down: "We're moments from the top, mere moments!" Sarah's boot slips in a pothole in the trail, but she fails to either plummet to her death or warn Fiona that she's about to plummet to hers. Which she does. Although we don't see the actual plummeting. She just starts to slip, and then we cut to Sarah, hearing Fiona gasp. Sarah calls to the now-empty trail behind her. So much for Fiona Lenore Kleinschmidt (1952-2005). Yes, that one. Fifteen-year-old boys all over the Southland can breathe a little easier tonight. Because, you know, they won't be all tired out from having a bunch of sex.

It's a hectic morning with David and Keith and the kids. That's right, Anthony and Durrell have already moved in. Time sure flies between episodes on this show, doesn't it? The men are struggling with getting the kids' lunches packed while the boys struggle with�each other, making a big mess. Keith, who's already stressed out from trying to deal with all the pieces that go into your standard sack lunch, angrily separates them and says it's time to go. Durrell throws Keith a bunch of attitude over being told to wear his jacket, a situation which perennial middle child David naturally defuses by sending the kids off to brush their teeth. "It's like he wants me to lose my temper," Keith carps, and David says to give Durrell time. Keith says it's been two weeks. He's also not impressed when David reminds Keith of Durrell's background: "My sister's a drug addict. Taylor never acted like this." David explains that being a girl, Taylor "isn't hardwired to be aggressive and territorial." You know, like David is. "It's the reason she doesn't have the same problem with your father that you do." "So now everything that happened between me and my father is my fault?" Keith snaps. Before it can get any uglier, Anthony appears back in the kitchen, announcing that Durrell now has an issue with his hat. "I'll be in the car," Keith grumbles, and walks out past Anthony without sparing the boy a glance. David smiles at Anthony as reassuringly as he can. Not a good sign; only two weeks and they're already playing good cop/bad big black sex cop.

Ruth and George are unpacking in "their" new apartment. The furniture's there, but there are still half-unpacked boxes strewn everywhere. Ruth asks him for the last four digits of his Social Security number for whatever utility company she's on the phone with, and he rattles them right off so we can see he's doing better. While she gets put on hold, he tells her with some bewilderment that he's looking for their pots and pans. She lies that they must have forgotten them, and that they can just run down to Crate & Barrel and get a new set. George does a little commercial for the nearly new Calphalon set they already have, but Ruth blows off his concerns and finishes her phone call. Then she asks George if he's talked to the dean at his college about going back to work. George says he wants to concentrate on getting better for now. And the item he unpacks is that little yellow cordless drill he and Ruth bought at Home Depot when she asked him to marry her. She seems to soften a little at this and says, "Okay, I'll go get our pots and pans. I'll be back before you know it." She's out the door. George puts the drill in a place of honor on the kitchen pass-through and chuckles to himself, oblivious to the fact that his days of boring with his wife are numbered.

Vanessa sits on the couch at home with her sister, who apparently got a part in a sitcom pilot, which they're watching now. Since we can't see any of it, we're left to wonder if Angelica is playing the wacky sister on a Latino show or the wacky Latina neighbor on an Anglo show. I'm sure she's plenty wacky either way. Vanessa checks her watch and says she has to go to the airport soon to pick up the babysitter. Wow, Julio's reputation for being a bad seed has traveled fast if his mom needs to fly someone in. "Au pair," Angelica corrects, which Vanessa says is "too bourgie," so Angelica amends it to "nanny." "This is L.A. Everyone has live-in help," Angelica claims, and asks if Vanessa's mad that she can't help as much any more. Vanessa is supportive, but Angelica says she doesn't want it to be weird for Vanessa, having a stranger in the house, "especially from Saskatchewan. Where is Saskatchewan, anyway?" "Near Calgary, I think," Vanessa says. "To tell you the truth, she can have horns and weigh 300 pounds for all I care. As long as she brings in the water bottlesI just need an adult." Well, at least with Rico gone she has one less kid.

Ruth comes into the Fisher house to the sound of sobbing, and to find a crying Sarah crashed on the living room sofa. With her hiking-booted feet up on the upholstery, no less. I'm surprised we don't get two deaths this episode. Sarah tearfully gives Ruth the news about Fiona. "I know you hated her for what she did to Nate, but we've lost her. She's gone." And Sarah curls up disconsolately in Ruth's lap. Ruth looks momentarily upset at having to deal with yet another person who needs her, until a light bulb goes off over her head. An evil light bulb.

Cut to Ruth on the phone in the kitchen a few minutes later, telling George about Fiona's death. "I'm just sick about it," she lies. "Fiona was a very close friend of mine. Very close." George offers to come over. Ruth declines, saying Sarah's in shock. "It's not a pretty scene down here. I think it's only appropriate for family. Of origin." Nice. Right then, of course, Sarah sits up and cries, "People! I need people! Who can we call?" "What did she say?" asks George, and Ruth says Sarah's "jabbering" and "incoherent," and hangs up as fast as she can. Sarah calls for her phone book. As Ruth heads off to get it out of Sarah's bag, Sarah says, "I need to circle the wagons."

Well, Sarah's got one friend in the house already, but of course she's on Rico's table so she's no help to anyone. Down in the Body Shop, David's just gotten a call telling him Durrell pulled a fire alarm at school and now David has to go see the principal. Did anyone bother to ask if there was a fire? Durrell might have saved lives! Probably not, though. "I can't tell Keith," David says. "He's just looking for more proof that these kids are too messed up for us." "You want to keep them?" Rico asks. David says he'd keep Anthony in a heartbeat, although Durrell's a mess. "But what can you expect?Their dad basically abandoned them." Rico looks away at that, and David apologizes. Rico says he's found his own place, a two-bedroom so the kids can stay overnight. He looks forward to mornings with the boys, and David says he hopes Rico gets the place, if that's what he wants. Rico says, "What I want is to be back home, but I have to take in the reality that it's not going to happen." Which means it's totally going to happen.

Carrying a shitload of luggage, Vanessa leads the boys and their new babysitter/au pair/nanny (who I'm going to be calling Donna, because that's her name) into the house. The kids run ahead, like they always do, because we always have to get the kids out of the scene as quickly as possible. Before the poor girl's even put her coat down, Vanessa grabs a list of duties she's printed out and starts going over it. It starts with doing dishes, and meeting the cable guy, and then she asks, "Do you have those giant water bottles in Canada?" No, Vanessa, they just chip off chunks of their igloos when they get thirsty up there. Vanessa asks Donna to bring in a new bottle whenever the current one is empty. She hands the printout to Donna, who carefully asks, "Would it be okay if I got a little settled in first?" Vanessa apologizes and starts helping to carry Donna's stuff to the back of the house, saying she's just excited that Donna is here. "Help is on the way," Donna says to the woman who's carrying half of her luggage.

It's dark outside, and so far the only friend Ruth has managed to scare up for Sarah is Kathy Bates, a.k.a. Bettina. In a nicely subtle touch, she's currently making dinner using Ruth's pots and pans. Sarah's gotten a hold of one of Fiona's email lists, and Bettina says they'll contact everyone tomorrow and regroup back at the Fisher place. Ruth says she's going to be spending the night at the house. When the other women get really quiet, she explains, "George and I are in transition mode." Sarah says it sounded like they were together when Ruth was on the phone. "You threw the bum out 'cause he couldn't get his fucking shit together?" Bettina asks, and Ruth says she "made a plan" with her knitting buddies to get George set up on his own. "Sort of pad the landing and then" "Parachute out of there?" Bettina guesses. "When the time is right," Ruth says smugly. Bettina says Ruth will be changing George's diapers and drinking a gallon of Merlot a day. Well, she probably should cut down to that sometime anyway.

Claire and her brown paper shopping bag come in from her day of jobhunting, and Ruth says, "Oh, Claire, your Aunt Sarah's dear friend Fiona was killed today." "What, someone killed her?" Claire asks. Hee. Bettina says Fiona fell off a cliff in Topanga Canyon. "You met her at the full moon celebration," Sarah tells Claire. Claire remembers, since Fiona wrote her a recommendation for art school. "And she knew dad andNate?" "Yes, that's the one," Ruth says shortly. Bettina asks who gets to eulogize about Fiona's "penchant for ushering young boys into manhood?" "That was once," Sarah snaps, drinking straight from the wine bottle, and Bettina says that's the one thing she really admired Fiona for. Claire notices that the original table is back, and Ruth says, "The old table just didn't make any sense in here. George has it. He moved out, but I don't want to discuss it." She ignores Claire's "Say what?" face (which is actually visible from orbit), saying that Sarah needs them now. Sarah asks how Claire is. Claire says she had to start temping (ignoring Ruth's own "say what?" face), saying it's only until she hears back on the emerging artist grant. And then she reaches into her shopping bag and pulls out the brand-new, periwinkle business suit she bought for her new gig. Sarah and Bettina react with undisguised horror. Okay, maybe it's funny to stick Claire in pastels, but I have a hard time believing that the ladies' suit store didn't have a damn thing in royal purple or puke green.

Billy's sitting at Nate and Brenda's dining room table, reading aloud to Brenda from email exchanges between him and Claire. Nate comes out to announce that Maya is down for the evening (See? They got rid of the kid before this scene even started!), as Billy goes on to share one of Claire's responses, and insists on reading a sarcastic "sadly" as a sincerely regretful "sadly." Billy wouldn't last ten seconds in our forums in his current state. Brenda and Nate look sad that Billy is in their house bugging them with this. Billy gets ready to read some IM transcripts and Brenda wails, "No!" Billy asks Nate if he's asked what Claire's thinking. "Clearly she's moved on," Nate says impatiently. "To be honest with you, the only reason that I'm dealing with you is because you're here and you're not out there stalking my sister." Billy apologizes and says he's back on his meds, but it's going to take a while to get rebalanced and breakups are hard for anyone. He starts to use his hosts as an example, but Brenda's sharp "Billypleasedon't" cuts him off almost instantly. I wish Nate would ask her about that later. Billy apologizes again and steals some ice cream from the freezer, saying he'll leave as soon as he watches something on their TiVo. "And I won't call her," he finishes. Well, no, I imagine it'll be kind of late by then.

By now, Sarah's put enough of a dent in that bottle of wine to put her in a state to say, "I killed her. I killed my best friend." Bettina and Ruth tell her she's wrong, and Ruth reminds Sarah that she always says everything happens for a reason. Which sends Sarah off on a rant about all the evil in the world (war, tsunamis, legless grandmothers, Bush reelections), of which she is but one manifestation. "Sarah, no!" Ruth says, but Bettina whispers to let her sister go. Patricia Clarkson didn't get her Oscar, you see, so now she's going for her Emmy. Sarah says it was her idea to go hiking, and she practically dragged Fiona along, even when Fiona declined twice. "What am I, the Antichrist?" She sobs that someone should lock her up or throw her in a hole, and settles down for a good wail. Fade to white/really long night.

In David and Keith's breakfast nook the morning, Anthony and Durrell open a present from David: it's a PlayStation 2 with Gran Turismo 4. David must have heard somewhere that that's a big game in the "urban market." The gift is obviously a surprise to Keith, who glances over sharply. The kids run off to hook it up while David reminds them they have school in ten minutes. Good timing, David. It'll take them nine minutes to figure out how to hook it up, one minute to get the game going, and they'll spend the entire day at school all excited and distracted. Keith looks at David with annoyance and confusion. "It's just a PlayStation," David says. "All kids have them." You know what's the only thing worse than no commercials? Commercials I have to recap because they're part of the show. Keith objects to the implied message that the kids deserve a prize, "when clearly they don't." David says it's just something fun. "Yeah, good times," says Keith. "That's your answer to everything, Miss Pollyanna." David says he's just trying to make everyone happy. Keith says maybe David should stop trying to make everyone happy and start-- "Oh, shut the fuck up," David snaps. Well, that's a beginning.

Ruth's gone up to the Claire to raid her daughter's weed stash. Claire stumps in in her high heels and pantyhose and periwinkle suit to find Ruth sitting on the bed and examining a little baggie. Ruth pleasantly invites Claire to change her clothes and join them downstairs. Claire suspiciously wonders why her room has been invaded by this strange woman with her mother's face. But she doesn't know who Susie Bright is either, so that's okay. Ruth says they all thought a little doob might "ease the pain of the loss." "I guess you found it," says Claire. Ruth asks the difference between the brown and the green weed. Claire thinks a moment, then takes the bag Ruth's holding and gives her one of those tiny little CSI-sized envelopes that in Alan Ball world means "the good stuff." And in the real world, for all I know. "Do you guys have papers?" Claire asks. "We were actually hoping for a bong," Ruth answers. Claire hands one over, asking, "You know you have to put water in that, right?" "Bettina knows," Ruth says. The uncomfortable (for Claire) moment stretches out, until Ruth gently says, "Oh, honey. I don't hate you." Claire softens some more. "I don't hate you either, Mom," she says. Ruth says that Claire's so much like herself. I don't know, I think Claire's a lot better at breaking up with people. Ruth says, "If you give up your dreams and it's my fault, I'll never forgive myself." Claire says Ruth was right about Claire needing to support herself, which she will "as soon as the grant comes through." Don't hold your breath, Claire. Any more than the pantyhose are already making you hold it, I mean. "Promise me you'll be who you want to be," Ruth says. Claire finishes melting and goes in for a hug, complete with an exchange of "I love you"s. "You look so corporate," Ruth says when they split. "You look so not corporate," Claire responds. Ruth waves the pot baggie and the bong and repeats her invitation. Claire says she just wants to take off her "hot dog suit" and take a bath and be naked. "If I put anything else on with a waistband, I'm just gonna cry." She goes into the bathroom to start undressing, and Ruth leaves the scene. As, sadly, so do we. Whether you want to read that as a sincere "sadly" or a sarcastic "sadly" is entirely up to you.

Nate's at home alone watching Beyond Borders, and the short snippet we see doesn't make me feel any more regretful about having missed it. He hops up jauntily from the couch to answer the knock on the door, like he's hoping it's his stepsibling. But instead it's his sibling-in-law. Without a word, Billy walks in and flops down morosely into Nate's spot on the sofa.

Cut to a little later, when Nate has apparently given up on Beyond Borders and is now just channel-surfing. Billy is still talking about how much he misses Claire. "I felt like she was my first real love. I know she's just a kid, but we were kids together." Billy sighs and settles back. Nate turns off the TV and leans back in a similar posture. "My first love just died," he says to the ceiling. "I was fifteen when I met her. She was 32." Even Billy blinks at that. "Whoa," he says. Yeah, Billy, we realize the figures don't hold up. Fiona would have had to be born in 1948 instead of 1952 to be 32 in 1980, when Nate was 15. Math is hard. Nate recalls that everyone thought Fiona had "done something" to him. Well, she may have had something to do with the fact that you grew up to be such a man-slut. He says that before Fiona, he'd been fooling around with girls his own age, "But Fiona let me see all of her. And I just loved her." Nate says he wrote letters, some of which rhymed, and now figures she laughed when she read them. "I doubt she laughed," Billy says seriously and supportively. Looks like what Billy really needed to get snapped out of his bout of self-pity was to have to deal with someone else's. And of course Nate's always good for a heaping helping of that. Nate says, "Love isn't something you feel, it's something you do. And if the person you're with doesn't want it, you know, do yourself a favor and save it for someone who does." You suppose he would say the same thing to Brenda?