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Meet Carlos. He's a cute lawyer, who meets a girl in a holding cell named Mae. Mae, in a fit of happiness, climbed on top of a garbage truck and took off her top, getting arrested. Carlos helps her get the charges dropped, and she happily leaves the courthouse, bumping into Whitney. Whitney is a high strung PR executive who tries to hire a down-and-out photographer who used to be brilliant, named Steven. She's got a cute British boyfriend who may or may not be cheating on her, but winds up proposing, and since nothing is more romantic than an accusation of philandering, she says yes. While she's getting a manicure, she meets Laura. Laura's a single mother whose journalist husband was recently killed in Iraq and who needs to figure out something to do with her life. In order to do so, she hires a new nanny -- Claire, who is really Mae, who is now sporting brown hair, who is on the run from someone because of something she's got in a box. (Oh yeah, it's a J.J. Abrams show, all right.)
Carlos, while trying to find Mae, meets Damien. He borrows Damien's coat to get into a club, and when he comes back out, finds Damien being beat up by some thugs and comes to his rescue. Damien needs money and goes to work for his no-good brother, who is after someone shown in a photo, who is none other than Mae. Rather than think about that, he goes for drinks with Carlos, where they admire the macking skills of a couple in the corner. Guess who? The coincidence is amazing and totally unexpected -- it's Whitney's cheating, British now-fiancé. It's almost as if these people are connected somehow, like that game⦠something to do with Kevin Bacon, maybe? Want more? The full recap starts right below!
A very cute Jay Hernandez waits for a train, and as it arrives and he gets on, he begins voiceover. Thursday night ABC shows do love their voiceover. "Let me ask you this. Do you think you can fall in love with someone that you don't really know at all?" I don't know, Jay, why would you ask? "The reason I ask... " (Oh, good.) "I live in New York city. With almost 8 million other people. And I always thought, who knows? The person sitting to you on the subway could be your soulmate." His soulmate, in this instance, is a withered old woman in kooky clothes, staring and nodding her head a bit. Hot damn. "My point is, the instant before you do meet them, they're a stranger to you."
The camera swoops up through the ground -- which I was about to make fun of until I realized I never actually picture people zooming around in subways underneath the people who are jogging, or eating, or sleeping above. And at that moment, up above him Whitney is jogging. The show won't actually reveal her name until later, but in the interest of avoiding pronouns, I'm giving it up now. As Jay -- well, Carlos, again not revealed but it's his name and that's fine -- goes on and on and ON about being inspired by strangers, Whitney waits at a crosswalk and sees a stack of books left on a Village Voice stand. She doesn't seem to think it's strange that someone left a stack of paperbacks on the corner and instead pulls a card out from between the pages of one of them, that has a beautiful black and white photo of a couple on a park bench. She glances at the back -- blank -- and then continues jogging, carrying it with her.
Carlos continues, "You can walk past the same building every day and not even realize that the person who lives there is one day gonna be your best friend." As Whitney runs by, we zoom inside and see Laura sitting on a couch. I have some sort of strange intuition telling me that these two women might end up as friends sometime. I can't explain why, given the subtlety of the show so far, but we'll see what comes to pass. Laura is sitting inside in a nightgown, and pain is written all over her face. She's watching TV and what looks like coverage of the Iraq war, and her whole body exudes pain and sadness. Carlos adds, "Maybe someone who desperately needs a best friend.
"It's my favorite thing about new York. You've got some people on top of the world." The camera flies through some very CGI buildings and into a window where a man is passed out on a bed, surrounded by cardboard boxes and one large empty tequila bottle. "Others are scraping rock bottom." And finally, some might be "trying to clean up their act, as tough as that might be." A driver reads a newspaper leaning against his Towncar. In some clever timing, a garbage truck comes around the corner on its cue of "clean." A crowd of friends is laughing and walking down the street as he finishes, "Or maybe someone living their life with reckless abandon." The girl in front is Mae, and we're supposed to believe that her heeeedeous wig is her real blonde hair. Note to the hair department: try hiding the wig tape a little better time, then. And maybe spring for a real hair version? You are on ABC in the coveted Thursday 10 PM timeslot. I'm just saying. Mae runs after the truck, pulling off her purple coat and throwing it down in the wet street to show her halter top underneath. She runs alongside the truck and tries to haul herself up. Why the truck doesn't STOP when it's only going about four miles an hour is beyond me, but they drive merrily along as she crawls up to the top. Once up there, the spirit of... garbage? inspires her and she rips off her halter top and waves her hands in the air. Like she just don't care, even. The truck just merrily cruises on towards Washington Square Park and the arch, with Mae as a Rolls Royce hood ornament gracing the top.
Carlos has been thinking his way through this monologue for quite a while -- he's not at his desk as his co-workers sing happy birthday and give him a big cupcake with a candle in it. He says something about chance or fate being the only thing that separates everyone, but I'm too busy thinking about the last time I was in New York and was introduced to Magnolia Bakery, and now I want a ginormous cupcake of my own. He makes a wish, and you can almost see him mouthing the words, "I hope this show is a success." His Gruff But Loveable boss tells him, "Eat fast, there's a new batch in holding."
Oh good lord, Carlos is STILL voiceovering. "You go through your life, your daily struggles. You think you're alone, but you're not." Finally, we get some actual acting -- he calls "Mae Anderson" and from behind the hookers comes wiggy. Jiminy Christmas, then his VO continues. This is insane. "8 million people in this city. And any one of them, any one at any time can walk into your life and change it. Forever." There's a lot of Deep Staring between the two and at long last, he's finally done blathering, five hours into this episode.
Carlos is going through the charges and trying not to laugh at the indecent exposure. The cops also got her for resisting arrest, and she explains it's because she thought it wasn't a big deal. I feel like somehow hijacking a moving garbage truck might also be on the list, but they let her slide on that one. He asks her why she did it but he's cute and embarrassed and can't get out any actual words until she prompts him, "Took it off?" She explains that she got caught up in the spirit of the city and the colors, and it just having rained... you know, I love a beautiful morning more than anyone, but my clothes are staying on. She explains that she wanted to be "one of those ladies on the front of a ship." Aha, I'd say she achieved that, and I'm rather proud of myself for pegging the Rolls reference. After Carlos puts them on a first-name basis, she asks what happens . would be Carlos running into the courtroom and begging the DA for a favor. Harry isn't so interested in helping, as he gave favors up for lent. Carlos forges ahead, however, with a story about his cousin. I think Harry sees through it and just keeps demanding to know if she's hot. Carlos tries to play it off that he'd never think about his cousin like that, but finally concedes that she is. ("It was just one time, when we were young and didn't know what we were doing!") thing you know, Mae is skipping out of the courthouse thanking Carlos profusely. She kisses him on the lips and he tells her he hopes to see her sometime. "Of course you will," she says breezily and leaves. I guess she's hoping to just run into him in this little hamlet they both call home, since she doesn't appear to give him any of her contact information. Of course, this being the Magic of Television, I wonder if one day that might just happen. I shall hold my breath.
As Mae walks away, she bumps into a woman walking the other way -- Whitney, who we met briefly while she jogged earlier. She looks spectacular in a long cream coat with her hair pulled back in a sleek ponytail. When she walks into her office, which I'm guessing is for a company called Ralston from a giant sign that says "Ralston" behind the receptionist desk (see Mom and Dad? All that college paid off.) her assistant greets her with a mug of coffee and four messages from her boss to come see him upstairs. She hands the mug back, clearly worried, and heads in. Once her coat is off she looks too skinny, and the strange low-necked sweater she's got over a button-up shirt is not helping. It seems to be hanging off of her tiny frame, rather than fitting it sleekly as I think it's supposed to do. But I digress. She immediately launches into a defense of her work and an explanation of why they lost a client -- which involved the client using their company and someone pinching her ass. She goes on and on, all the while with her boss trying to break in, until she finally yells that she really should be getting a promotion instead of getting fired. Guess what? She is. Once she's convinced he's telling the truth, they embrace and she looks absolutely ecstatic. She's being made partner, and he adds, "youngest in the firm's history. I know your need to quantify."
Outside, a driver pulls up to the curb -- Damien, who had been reading the paper earlier. His client appears to love him and tips him $100 for the ride. As Damien walks back around his car, the cop from the fine, fine, R. Kelly masterpiece, Trapped in the Closet starts giving him shit. But where is his wife? Making him a pie out of pears? And a midget in the cabinet? I feel cheated. Cop's name is actually Michael, and he's actually as far from a cop in this role as one could be. He ribs Damien about his job, and while he says he likes the people and it pays well, Michael doesn't buy it and offers that Damien can come work with him. He's not interested, but Michael continues trying to convince his little brother that he's legit. He makes a crack about how if Damien hadn't gotten busted, it would be the two of them driven around in the back of a car like this, then restates his offer and takes off.
A school bell rings, and kids file out of a building as a scruffy-looking man with a red nose watches. Meet Steven, an older, but hot, Campbell Scott. He plays with a magic 8-ball that he's holding (I carry mine in my purse, actually, but he's got his out for the world to see) and asks "Am I still alive?" He smiles ruefully as it answers, "Outlook not so good." Man, this show is deep. Can you tell how deep it is? Can't you tell, and if you couldn't, weren't you already told by the voiceover? It's the nuances, I tell you. A boy named Max exits the building and Steven calls out to him. Predictably, this is Steven's son who warns him that his mom would freak if she knew he was there, but Steven doesn't care since he hasn't seen Max in four months. He asks his dad if he's okay, and Steven tells him that he's doing better. There's awkward talk between the two of them -- when Max asks if he's coming home, Steven answers by telling him about his tiny apartment and making excuses for not inviting Max there. He gives Max the 8-ball, adding, "Try not to get behind it." Max doesn't question what the hell that means, so I'll guess he's a precocious child who already understands the tough ways of the world. Max actually seems to start to drop his guard, but when Steven asks if they can hang out, Max tells him he has guitar lessons. It seems to be news to Steven, though it obviously shouldn't be, and though he covers Max's guard is back up again. He says he'll be in touch, which Max seems to accept while not really believing, and they hug.
Inside a gym, Laura struggles through a sit-up; she's on number four. This is a woman after my own weakling heart right here. As a card on-screen gives us her name officially, it cuts to her at a restaurant, talking with a friend. She's telling her friend cheerfully about how well her life is going, she's taking cooking lessons and pilates but is thinking about going back to work. Her friend is delighted, although not as enthusiastic when Laura admits she was thinking of interior design, helping out with her friends' clients. While the friend agrees that Laura has great taste, she also isn't sure that she is ready and reminds her, "Clients can tell when you're not 100%." Laura is much less animated as she continues trying to convince the friend to hire her. She also admits that she needs to get out and do something. "Something where people won't think 'Laura and David' every time they look at me." Her friend asks if she's moved his -- presumably David's -- stuff out, and Laura remains silent and breathes a sigh of relief when their name is called to be seated. As they enter the dining room, they pass the host, who is on the phone telling some poor schmuck that he only has reservations available at 5:30 or 11. That schmuck, as it turns out, is Carlos. Carlos tries valiantly to get the guy to help him out by telling him it's to impress a girl, but he's playing to the wrong audience and gets hung up on. His cubicle neighbor, Edie (none other than the awesome Sarah Vowell) snarks at him, "You gonna get her a corsage?" He tells her to stuff it and then dials a new phone number, practicing his cool, "hello," woman-seducing techniques. It's a wrong number, which Edie points out is "shocking," but he ignores her and writes down the address. He's nothing if not persistent.
Mae and her wig tape are now on a pay phone with someone named Erik, and she's explaining her arrest. He asks if she was booked and she happily tells him the charges were dropped. Unfortunately, that's not what he means, and he asks more urgently and upset sounding if they took her picture when she was arrested. Her face drops when she realizes that they did. He tells her to leave, but she doesn't want to since she's sick of running. She tells him that she's just started to feel normal and safe, which I guess explains the boob-baring trash-fest that morning. I know it's what I do when I get comfortable in a new place -- top's off and I'm screaming and giggling. And can I tell you how NICE my new neighbors always are? It's almost like a freaky coincidence. Deadly serious Erik, however, reminds her that the person looking for her swore he'd never stop. Romance! Intrigue! A bad wig! This show has everything a girl could ask for. Mae tells him she'll figure it out and hangs up.
It's nighttime, and Damien is driving a man across town, chatting at him about how this is the easiest time of day to get across the city. Apparently allergic to friendly people making conversation, the man sits sullenly holding a bouquet of flowers. Cut to Mr. Sullen entering a beautiful apartment, calling hello in a British accent I, for some reason, felt sure was a bad fake until I looked him up and saw that he's actually British. Whoopsie, sorry about that! No one is inside, but a note is propped against a flute of champagne that directs him to the roof. He heads up with the flowers, and there is a gorgeous-looking Whitney setting a table among lots of candles. The setting is amazing, and he's grinning but protests that he wanted to take her out that night, since it's her big day. They sit and she explains that it was a great day, but she didn't want it to be all about her. With that, she slides a note towards him. When he turns it over it says (in kind of ugly calligraphy -- sorry, Whit, but couldn't you have found someone to do that for you?) Will you marry me? He's absolutely stunned but she's beaming and tells him it's time, and it seems that he's wanted this but she has been holding out. He jokes that "It's been so long my mother's stopped pressuring me." Finally, he gets a name -- Roy. Roy pulls her onto his lap and tells her that he wants to marry her, but he thought it was the guy's right to ask. Though she points out that it's 2006 and it's fine, he agrees that it will happen but he wants to pick out a ring and surprise her. She still seems happy, but somewhat let down.
Techno music blares the morning as Carlos knocks on an apartment door. The guy who answers assumes he's there with "the hard drives," and when he realizes that Carlos is empty-handed he deduces, "Man, you read my blog. You're a fan." Because all bloggers are socially incompetent dorks. Carlos corrects him that he's just looking for Mae, but he's told she moved out that morning. Blogger is bummed out, too, since she was a good tenant who paid her rent in cash. I enjoy the fact that doesn't seem to raise any questions with him. Carlos asks where she works, and then cut to...
... Mae, circling job ads in the paper. It's very lucky that she's doing this in the park, where she overhears two nannies talking about how great their jobs are to have a room to stay in and to be paid under the table in REALLY LOUD VOICES. It's fate! Cut to her dumping out a bag containing a box of hair dye and some scissors. If TV has taught us nothing else, it's that nothing is going to foil ruthless would-be captors hell bent on tracking you down like some Maple Brown Sugar #9.
Laura, meanwhile, has opened what looks like her husband's closet and is pulling out suits and putting them into boxes. The doorbell rings, and waiting on the stoop is a brown-haired Mae, who introduces herself as Claire. They're sitting on couches for an interview and the daughter is the requisite adorable moppet. Mae/Claire is equally adorable, showing what a fantastic way she has with children. Laura happily tells her that she checked out her references and spoke to Mr. Kyle, and what a shame she couldn't move with the family. Mae/Claire just waxes poetic about the city and not wanting to leave now that she's made it to New York. At this moment both their eyes fall on a picture of Laura and a good-looking man; Laura explains, "That's Eliza's dad. He's gone and he's not coming back." She says passionately that her daughter has been though a lot, and Laura needs someone she can trust in the house. Mae/Claire assures her that she can be trusted, and I notice she starts by not asking details about the husband's sudden absence.
In a sports bar, Damien cheers at a horse race, first elatedly and then frantic as his horse loses. Steven is drinking at the other end of the bar and yells at him to shut up; it turns out to be his scene, not Damien's, as his phone rings. He answers and wonders how whoever is calling got the number, then gets a pen from the bartender and jots something down. He's then walking into Ralston, Whitney's company, to meet with her. She has books of his photography on the tables and compliments his work -- it turns out he was the mystery photographer from the card she picked up. When she asks he says that recently he's been busy "shooting for himself." Yes, he's been trying really hard to get the perfect view of the bottom of a Costco-sized bottle of liquor. She is extremely complimentary, and tells him she's always looking for new talent, and she currently has a campaign for a fragrance that she'd like him for. He gets a bit snippy and informs her you can't force the moments like the one he caught in the photo that she found, but after a pause she asks quietly if they can try. Trying is for suckers, I guess, since he thanks her, tells her he is not interested, and leaves. Whitney runs after him to ask if she said anything offensive, and he barks that he does not like being patronized. He's being a buffoon, but the tone of her voice was kind of simpering when she asked her last question. Other than that, however, she was nothing but professional. She tells him she thinks it was kismet that she found him but he growls, "What's kismet? Bathwater in a little bottle? That's what you want me to shoot? You found a little postcard? That's visionary." Yeah, and he's got a bar to get back to -- he's wasting precious daylight drinking hours on this work-offer-thing and he's done, dude. What he actually tells her is, "Small thinking, small minds like yours pervert anything worth anything." He steps into an elevator and is gone, and she walks quietly back into the office. At the receptionist's desk, three girls are crowded around the monitor, looking at a dating site. Dateblizzard.com, to be exact. Because it's a good idea to associate blind dates with storms so bad they can knock out power and kill people. She looks with them as they scroll through the "menu" and then something catches her eye. It's a listing for Paul174, who is actually Roy, the man she just proposed to not twelve hours before. The girls all giggle about how cute he is but she looks like she might just vomit into their laps.
The man himself walks into a restaurant, apologizing to a crushed-looking Whit for being late. Without any preamble, she asks him about Paul174 and hands him a printout of his dating profile. He manages to play it off flawlessly, telling her that it's a joke the interns at his office pulled by putting him up there. When she looks like she doesn't believe him (and really, who would -- it's too smooth) he offers to call a co-worker and thereby, her bluff. She tells him not to, and they decide to have dinner, though she's clearly still confused. He grabs her hand and swears to her that he will never ruin their relationship, then happily delves into the menu as she sneaks an unsure glance at him. Doubt is such a good ingredient for marriage, don't you think?
In an art gallery, two men speak in French about a really amazing photo of silver blocks arranged and shot as if they are a city skyline. One of the men sees Steven and interrupts his conversation to go meet him, clearly not happy. Steven asks for a favor and is informed he already used up all his favors. It seems that Steven once worked often with French Talker but eventually fell apart and at a low moment, invited an art critic to the ladies' room for a threesome, and not in a kinky way, to try and get a good review. Steven claims he's been clean for six months, though the empty bottle and the actual drinking we saw him do in the bar says otherwise. He wants to put on a show of his old work to remind the art world that he's still around, but French Talker snarks, "How the Mighty Have Fallen: A Retrospective of Shameful and Egotistical Behavior." Steven finally gets mad and asks what he needs to do, and is told to start over, with new work. "People tend to forgive brilliance." It's true, Steven -- see Hugh Grant or any other actor who accidentally got caught with drugs/a hooker/a cop/all three. However, Steven claims he's lost It and can't shoot. "No one's going to help you, Steven. You have to help yourself." Steven turns to retort but then just thanks the man and leaves. Check eBay, Steven -- I've been hearing a lot about how they have It, and lots of it, over there.
Whitney enters a nail salon for a manicure and pedicure, muttering to herself, "At least I'll look good when my life falls apart." Laura is in the chair to her, and Whitney asks what color she's used. She's layered marshmallow with ballet slippers, which actually sounds like something I might check out time I find myself at Lily's Nails. Laura's pedicurist asks if she wants her cuticles cut, and when she says she just wants them pushed, the women begin talking to each other in Vietnamese. Laura has the moment I think we all wish we could sometimes have where she asserts that she is NOT a chicken (but is clearly fluent in Vietnamese.) She and Whit begin talking, and then bond over Laura's Sonic Youth t-shirt and the fact that they were at the same concert eleven years earlier, where Laura's husband caught a drumstick after the final encore.
Outside the salon, the two are still talking as they're walking down the street. I'd like to point out that both are now in shoes and socks, and Whitney's hand is in her pocket, and NO. Any girl who has ever had her nails done knows that would only leave fabric-weave imprints on everything and look horrible -- have more sense, people. Laura mentions a new job on Monday and when Whitney asks if she's nervous, she replies with a breezy answer about her newly-painted nails. The hand flip is the perfect opportunity for Whitney to admire her wedding ring, which quiets Laura. Whitney also pauses and Laura asks her what is wrong: when Whitney says Laura won't want to be saddled with her problems, Laura assures her she'd rather think about them than her own. That's so true, and no one ever actually gets it. Take our mind off of things, friends of the world! Whitney begins to talk about the online dating site and Whiney finally asks, her, "has anyone ever cheated on you?"
Speak of the devil -- Roy walks along a street behind Mae, who is on another pay phone with Erik, complimenting his acting skills for being her job reference. His voice is still worried, yet almost comical in its "mystery deep voice on the phone" manner. He asks if she has the box. And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen: it's not a J.J. Abrams show if there's not something mysterious locked in a box in the first season. She assures him, "Of course, it goes where I go." Cut to a club full of gyrating kids, and Mae's in an office above as a man opens up a safe and gives her what I presume to be The Box. He jokes about what might be in it, and she banters back that if she told him she'd have to kill him. They shake hands in a goodbye of two people that seem to genuinely really like each other, and he tells her to be good.
Outside, Carlos is in his clubbing clothes of jeans and a zip-front sweatshirt. He looks remarkably like I do on, say, a foggy workday such as this one, rather than a guy trying to go out anywhere at all that features drinks and a dance floor. He's at the door trying to talk his way in by dropping Mae's name, but the girl with the clipboard doesn't believe him (for which I don't blame her, having worked a few event doors in my life), and he turns and walks down the street. A few buildings down, he runs into Damien, who needed some more minutes for us to get to know him this hour. Ever suave, Carlos asks him to be driven up to the club in the car, thinking this will radiate his importance and gain him admission. Damien offers to lend him his jacket, chain, and sunglasses and drive him up there for $50 -- of course, only after he learns Carlos is doing this for a girl. Carlos gives him his watch as collateral and thing you know, he's inside. Really? No, really? There is not a single club in any major city across our beautiful United States that would be swayed by a ride in a black car to think that person should skip the line and be admitted to a club. We live in a day and age where even Paris Hilton has been turned down, boys and girls. If that's not proof enough that it can happen to anyone, I don't know what is. Regardless, he and his magic jacket push through the crowd. Mae is leaving at the same time, and the two brush back to back and don't notice one another.
Outside, someone knocks on the window of Damien's car, startling him. It turns out they're muscle sent by someone named Vincent to take his car as collateral since he owes so much in gambling debt. Central Casting is slipping, man -- these are two of the smallest goons I've ever seen. But the one can punch, and illustrates his talent to Damien. At that moment, Carlos appears and knocks them over with a trash can, and he and Damien jump in the car and speed away.
Laura is in her Sonic Youth t-shirt, watching a newscast from Iraq when Mae/Claire walks in. It turns out Laura is watching a tape of the news -- she pauses it and she and Mae/Claire exchange pleasantries. They actually have a really great rapport -- I like their interaction and like Mae/Claire more than I have the rest of this hour. She's now completely moved in and goes upstairs to bed, and they wish each other goodnight. Once Mae/Claire is gone, Laura goes back to the TV and plays the tape. The newscaster goes live to a reporter in the field named David Morgan, who reports that they are going to be moved somewhere safer. At that moment, the tape goes fuzzy, and they cut back to a startled news anchor who assures the audience that everyone is probably fine. Sadly, it's the same David of "Laura and David," the same David that is Eliza's dad who isn't coming back. Laura has her husband's death essentially on tape. She watches over and over with tears in her eyes, wiping her cheeks as she listens again to his last words, "... seek more adequate cover." She rewinds once more and pauses on his face, right before he's gone again.
Driving home, Damien apologizes to Carlos for what happened. Carlos asks him if he is in trouble and offers to help, but Damien assures him he'll be fine. Carlos takes him at face value, which I guess you do when you've known someone for an hour, but does no one on this show recognize when they're buttoning up their Bad Idea Jeans? I'm starting to get bruises from being whacked with the Obvious Stick so much. He gives Carlos back his own collateral -- his watch -- advises him to ice his face, and apologizes again before Carlos leaves. Once he is alone in the car, he closes his eyes in defeat, hits the steering wheel, and calls his brother.
Whitney is at her office, on the phone with her new BFF, Laura, telling her that she's made a profile at dateblizzard for "Juliette72" who is perfect for Roy. Laura is surrounded by clothes, presumably back on the heartbreaking task of clearing out her late husband's belongings. She assures Whitney that Roy won't show up for the date, and finally declares that she's going along. Whitney can't believe she'd be so nice but she's sure that it won't go badly and they can have a girls' night out, and also, "Trust me, by tonight I'm going to need a drink." They agree to talk later. I know it's lightning-fast and ripe for mocking, but I really like their friendship so I'm going to just go with it. It also might be Hope Davis' fantastic acting, as my favorite scene of Mae's was one where she interacted with Laura as well.
Mae/Claire and Eliza are walking through the park, where Eliza precociously announces that she loves the Rolling Stones. M/C is duly impressed, asking if she doesn't like Britney, being only 8 years old. Although considering that, she was closer to five the last time Brit-Brit actually did anything relevant. I'd like to note that M/C is wearing the purple coat she threw in the rainy street earlier, but it looks pretty good for having been through that. Eliza explains, "Mom says Britney's the devil, and Keith Richards is God." M/C laughs and declares that her mom's a smart lady. Of course, any mystery show worth its salt knows that happiness is the time Something Bad Happens. A creepy-looking man in a dark suit furrows his brow and looks right at M/C. She grabs Eliza's hand to walk away and the man speeds up, eventually running after them. Eliza's duly freaked out now, and M/C grabs her and pulls her behind a hot dog stand -- another brilliant move akin to the hair dye. The man rushes past... to a waiting taxi. Maybe M/C needs some Xanax to go with that hair dye. Or maybe she knows she's the worst con artist in the world. I don't know.
Carlos is in the park meeting with someone who checked out Mae at his request. Her social security number is fake, and Carlos wonders aloud how he didn't see this coming. "I don't possibly know," answers the entire viewing audience. He's offered some good advice: "Don't look for dates in the holding tank."
Meanwhile, Steven is wandering the streets shooting photographs, clearly uninspired. On the same block, Laura exits her building with men behind her carrying large boxes of David's things. She watches as they load them on to a truck and lower the gate, driving them away to charity. She stares after the truck and begins to sob. Not pretty movie crying, but wracking, heartbreaking, gulping sobs. Steven sees her and begins to snap pictures. The Goo Goo Dolls begin to play in the background as he rushes home, puts up black curtains, and pulls out his photo equipment to create a darkroom in his kitchen. He waits anxiously and eventually a beautiful, sad picture of Laura emerges.
That night, Laura and Whitney are in the bar, Laura still trying to convince her that Paul174 won't show. A woman comes up behind them (Edie, Carlos' co-worker) and orders a lychee martini, and the two women decide that enough time has passed and it's time for cocktails. As they wait, Whitney notices that Laura's wedding ring is missing, and Laura begins to tell her that, "this is a very big night for me, as well." She seems to have finally mustered the confidence to tell her story, when Paul174 walks through the door. Before he notices Whitney, she begins yelling at him, and attacks him, ordering him out of their home and her life. Outside, he grins and tries to convince her that he knew all along it was her because the woman's profile was too perfect for him. When all seems lost, he asks, "Okay, if I was going to cheat on you, why would I have brought this?" With that, he pulls out a velvet ring box and drops to one knee. She's stunned and seems not sure if she believes him or not. But his worried face as he asks, "I told you I wanted to surprise you -- will you marry me?" seems to convince her, and they embrace. Let's say for a moment that anyone other than Whitney believes him. Which, by the way -- I believe her falling for this because when you want to believe in someone and also in yourself for not falling for a loser, you can believe what you want to be true. But even if this is all the truth, do you really want to marry someone who thought the way to surprise you when he asked you to spend your lives together was to make you first believe he was dating girls behind your back? Could use some fine tuning, that.
Damien drives by in his Towncar as Roy swings Whitney around in a circle. He pulls the car up in a dark alley. I can already tell that this is going to be a great night for Damien, especially looking at another shady-looking character waiting in the alley outsize a Benz. Damien calls Michael to tell him he's there, but at that moment there's the crack of a door banging open and Michael emerges with a gun, ordering Mr. Benz to leave, which he does. Damien tries to question him and also argue that he wants no part in this, but Michael shows him the duffel bag he's been carrying, which is full of cash. He asks, "You see why I need someone I could trust?" I'd make a horrific sibling of a criminal -- no amount of "but we're related" could make me participate in shady dealings. But that's probably why I'm living a relatively calm life in a cozy apartment with two cats and not jet-setting first class to exotic parties in the Mediterranean. It's fine by me. At that moment, a security guard shoots at the brothers and catches Michael's hand. The gun drops, and Damien grabs it and shoots the guy perfectly in the chest. This might be an indication of the past Michael referred to earlier. Michael asks him if he's okay, but Damien is stunned and silent.
At Ralston, Whitney walks into the lobby from an elevator and sees Steven waiting. She coolly informs him, "My small mind is late for a meeting," but he's there for a slice of humble pie. He can't quite get it out at first, and she informs him, "The word is sorry, Mr. Caseman." He only tells her, "I'd like to work. I'm ready to work. I wasn't ready last week but I'm ready now. Thanks to you, actually." Hmmm. So, not so much tuck in to the humble pie, but maybe sniff the air a little bit after it comes out of the oven and try to tell if it's cool enough for a slice yet. He's clean-shaven, though, which is a good first step, and tells her that she went looking for someone most people would like to forget. She's cautious, but tells him that she might have a job for him and to bring his portfolio and a zipped mouth the following week. He makes a zipping motion on his lips, and turns and leaves.
Michael, hand in a cast, approaches Damien with an envelope. Even though Damien still wants to stay up-and-up, it's hard to ignore that he was just handed enough to cover his gambling debts. Michael argues that Damien saved his life and deserves the money, Damien argues back that he killed someone. Potato/Potahto. Michael's also impressed by his sharp shooting, and tells his little brother, "You can't change who you are, D." Damien tries to say that's not who he is anymore, but it seems futile. Michael then offers him a job: he says that "friends" are looking for a runaway. Before Damien can protest, Michael argues that he might see her while he's driving, and that it would be serious money. He hands Damien a photo and walks away. Everyone's Favorite Wig makes one more appearance, as of course it is Mae's booking photo.
At Laura's house, Mae/Claire gazes at photos as Laura nervously bustles around, getting ready to leave for her first job interview. M/C stops her to apologetically say she doesn't think she can keep the job. Laura is both disappointed and understandably annoyed, saying she thought it was going well. Mae assures her it is, but that she has things to work out. Laura Gets It; she asks Mae/Claire what's going on and tells her, "You know, when David died, six months ago, the bottom just dropped out of my life. But I can tell you that there's a way back. From... anything. And if you want to stay here with us while you're dealing with whatever it is, we would love you have you. But if you don't, I understand. Okay?" "Okay." With that, Laura becomes not just the most understanding and cool boss ever, but one of the most understanding and cool people ever. Mae would do well to stick to this one, and I think she knows it, trying not to cry.
Inside the much more crowded bar where Steven and Damien had been previously, Damien is having a beer at the counter, wearing street clothes, and Carlos comes in to join him. Damien's buying him as many, "thanks for helping me not get walloped" beers as he can drink. Carlos tells him about his crazy week, but also that he feels more like himself than he has in forever, and it's all because of this mysterious girl. Yes, Carlos, this mysterious girl that BY ALL INDICATIONS NEVER WANTS TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN, but to him that means she made him a better person. Damien laughs, and they clink glasses. "To Mae." They look over at a couple making out at a neighboring table -- there's a woman with short dark hair and they clink to her as well. When they finally come up for oxygen... the other pair of lips are attached to none other than Paul174. Way to celebrate your engagement, buddy.
Whitney is more traditional, sitting at her desk and admiring her ring, while looking at a picture of a wedding gown. I wanted to not like her, I'm lukewarm on Bridget Moynahan, but for some reason I do like her and I really hope she finds out sooner than later.
Steven is skulking around, and watches from around a pillar as Max, carrying a guitar case, runs up to who is presumably his mother.
Laura, in her Sonic Youth tee, sleeps cradling her daughter.
Mae and her bulging bags get onto the subway and sit down, and when she looks up, she's sitting across from Carlos. To Carlos I just say, this only MAY be better than the crazy old lady you were sitting near a couple of days ago. Be careful! She stares at him and he stares back, recognition finally dawning. Each gradually smiles, and she gets up to sit to him. Carlos couldn't resist one more voice over: "There's a theory, that anyone on the planet can be connected to any other person through a chain of six people. No one is a stranger, for long." And with that, let their actual stories begin week.