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The group that was abandoned by the Evenki make it through the scary forest to rejoin the group at the Science Institute, but they have to cut through a minefield to get there. Irene is trapped on top of a mine for a few minutes, but Daniel frees her through the brilliant stratagem of telling her to step off it. If you're keeping track, this is the second trap that Irene's stuck her foot into. Then everybody hangs out in the Science Institute for about an hour until the plot twist stops by: there are Russian soldiers roar up in a truck and make everybody kneel in the snow. Joyce gets tied to the hood of the truck and is about to be executed when mysterious noises from the forest interrupt the program. Everyone gets stashed in one of the buildings so the soldiers can fire guns and blow things up off screen. Johnny and Daniel were hiding from the soldiers, so they're able to rescue Joyce.
After some hiding, everyone decides they might as well try escaping. A convenient soldier runs in and gets killed, so they even have a pistol. Johnny gets drives the truck and almost everybody else gets in the back. Except for Annie, who gets tragically killed. Sorry, Annie. Now that they have the truck, everyone else is looking forward to getting to the town that was on the map. Unfortunately, the truck skids into a snowdrift for no apparent reason, forcing everyone out to start pushing it. Esther connives her way into the driver's seat, and when she's free of the drift, she just drives away. Miljan explains that she had the $500,000 prize money from the Revealer, so she's not coming back. That's inconvenient!
Also inconvenient: the town has been abandoned. Empty stores, cars, and apartments are everywhere. There are telephones, but no dial tones. The Russian soldiers' truck is there, but Esther is gone. They find an apartment that still has power, so everyone relaxes a little. There are sandwiches, kisses, and naps. And then the Russian soldiers catch up to them, which isn't hard, because they're all in the only lit apartment in town.
And right at the end, the Aussie Host from the beginning of the series walks in. Joyce recognizes him, and he says, "You're not supposed to be here." So...that happened.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!The Evenki have left our Siberians, and everyone walks into the forest. Neeko claims there's a road, but it's under three feet of snow. He sees a warning sign that is conveniently labeled in Russian and English, so he knows it's a minefield. This is a weird place for a minefield, isn't it? Historically, any army that got stuck this far into Siberia was in enough trouble without adding land mines to the mix.
Science Institute. Sam tells Daniel that he'll buy him a steak dinner when they're safe. Joyce and Johnny come in to ask what the deal is. The deal is that they haven't heard anything on the radio. Everybody but Sam goes out to check on the antenna, and it turns out that a wire has broken. Joyce runs off to get some tape while Johnny and Daniel position the ladder. Joyce seems distracted by something in the lab. Johnny's up on the ladder pointing at another possibly broken wire, when he also sees something. There are four people walking up the road! And the road looks like it's been plowed fairly recently. Just thought I'd mention that. It's the other Siberians! Neeko, Miljan, Sabina, and Annie! Not Irene or Esther? Ah, Daniel and Johnny go running off into the snow, where Esther is pointing at Irene. She's standing on a land mine. Sheesh. This lady can't go two minutes without sticking her leg in a trap.
Daniel says he'll figure out what to do, and Johnny is more concerned with how everyone else got through the field without stepping on a mine. It's a good question, since you'd think people could just all follow the footprints in front of him. Daniel's plan is for Irene to just walk off the mine, but Johnny and Neeko both seem pretty sure that it's the kind of mine that blows up when you step off it, not when you first step on it. Sabina assures Daniel that she knows more about mines than he does, and he ignores her. This guy, am I right? He walks carefully out into the field. Even Crazy Miljan is shaking his head at how dumb Daniel is. Daniel takes Irene's hands and promises her that the mine is a dud and she just has to step off it. He slowly counts to three, and she steps. The soundtrack gets that tinnitus sound effect, but there's no actual explosion. Everyone is very happy. That was some nonsensical fake-drama that did nothing but eat up twelve minutes of the season finale.
So now everyone's in the Institute buildings getting caught up on each other's adventures. Johnny got electrocuted by the tower and got CPR from Sam. Sam's foot got frostbite, and he was also saved. He claims that he closed his eyes and saw Natalie at the fishing river. Annie is affected by him talking about Natalie, and she leaves. Sabina has to share the story of Natalie being mysteriously dead in the snow. So Sam goes off and finds Annie and tells her about how he lost his wife. He's really good at cheering people up! The point of his story is to tell Annie that Natalie will always be a part of her.
Joyce checks out Irene's leg wound, and it's looking much better. It's all due to the magical Indian herbs! I realize "Indian" is the wrong word. It's not even the right word for Native Americans, and these people were Native Siberians. Or Indigenous People of Siberia. Or just "Evenki," but that word doesn't have the resonance to play into the "magical herbs" thing the show is doing. Let's just move on. The radio is hooked up again. Sam is on the comm, since he speaks Russian. And there's a truck coming! Miljan runs in, zipping up his pants. Esther also comes out of a bathroom stall.
Everyone streams out of the building and is met by a bunch of guys in riot armor with automatic weapons. This rescue isn't going well! Even though they keep saying, "We called you!" they're still forced down on the ground. But since people were coming out of different doors, not everyone has been taken captive. Esther (and her camera crew) are watching through a window. Daniel and Johnny (and their camera crew) walk around a corner, see what's going on, and pull back. I am obliged, for what I hope is the last time, to point out that we can clearly see the scene, and there are no camera crews among the people kneeling in the snow, even though there are some shots from that vantage point. A shot rings out, and we go to commercial.
The guy in charge says some things in Russian. Esther gets brought out to kneel with the others. The soldiers are talking in Russian. Sam says they're looking for a weapon, although they don't care about the dead bodies inside. They're the ones that killed them. I told you they should have checked the security footage!
Johnny and Daniel peep through a window. Daniel wants to do something, but Johnny reminds him about the guns.
Outside, there's more shouting. Nobody knows what these people want. Joyce stands up, and that causes an absolute storm of shouting. Daniel wants to use the radio to call for help. He already tried that, and look what happened. Joyce tries explaining that they're contestants on a reality show, which is hard to believe. She promises that the kneeling people constitute their entire population. Inside, Daniel tries various frequencies to no avail. And then! A window breaks! The camera operator goes to check it out and sees a gun barrel coming through the door. This causes more shouting outside, and they tell Joyce she lied. Her hands get tied to the truck's hood. A gun is held to her head and everyone huddles.
And then! An explosion! It looks closer than the mine Irene was standing on, so I don't know what the deal is. It's distracting enough to get the Russian soldiers to run around and shoot things, though. Our heroes get stood up and hustled into a building. Except for Joyce, who's still out there tied to the truck. No soldiers come in, so the room is full of just the people we know. There are a lot of guns being fired outside, along with some explosions. Sabina says some of the explosions are the land mines, but she doesn't know what's setting them off. Sam says they're talking about the Valley Men out there. Miljan is watching through the window, and he sees Johnny running to the truck. He's saving Joyce! He runs her to the building where the other Siberians are huddled, but he stays outside. He and Daniel are hiding behind a snow drift, watching the firefight. Johnny runs, and we see Daniel running. But then there's a big explosion! But then they're okay! They get inside (in the same room with everyone else), and there's another big explosion outside. And there's weird screeching. The soldiers fire a few shots, and then run.
Well…it's nighttime now. The soldiers have a doggie! The reality-show people are talking about how they should really consider running for it. Neeko asks Johnny what the plan is, and he suggests maybe they should take the back door. Something then breaks the window, so they all get up and start running. They get to the garage, and there's the usual yelling and finger-pointing. Miljan looks interested in the room. And Daniel finally notices the security room, which is full of monitors showing what's going on outside. He calls people over, and they're very interested in the truck. There are no soldiers on the screens, and the gunshots sound far away. Some people want to run out, steal the truck, and try to get to a town. Miljan thinks they'll all get shot in one second.Esther suggests that maybe they were just getting arrested for trespassing, but Sam says he heard the soldiers say they were going to execute everybody. If that's true, they sure took a long time stalling when they were preparing to shoot Joyce. And then! The lights go out! Johnny and Joyce go to the circuit breaker. They're distracted by an open door. It's the door he shut earlier. He creeps up to it and closes it. And then! A soldier bursts through with a gun! Johnny and the soldier scuffle! Shots are fired in the dark, but the only person who gets shot is this soldier.
When the lights come back on, Sabina gets the gun, which is a good idea. Even Miljan doesn't object to the truck plan now. Johnny and Sabina go outside to check the lay of the land. Sabina says her gun is empty, so Johnny has to run for it. But at least military trucks don't have keys. He gets to the truck and brings it around. People pile in, and then there are gunshots. They're being shot at! Johnny drives away, but there's a figure running to catch up. It's Annie!
Okay. The shot is a soldier taking aim. The cameraman is standing directly in front of the barrel, focusing in on the soldier's head. It's a very pretty shot, and it would work great in any other show. But in this show, where the camera crew allegedly exists in the world, it means the cameraman's about to get shot instead of Annie, which is what actually happens. She falls, and Johnny drives away. Of course, we see a shot out the back of the truck, and there are no cameramen there. This show can't remember its own premise from one minute to the .
Driving: everyone is sad, especially whoever picked the violins on the soundtrack. Irene asks if there's water, and Esther makes sure that Daniel doesn't open the wrong bag. The thing on top is Annie's sketchbook. She drew all the rest of the cast. Now they're even more sad.
And then! The truck fishtails into a ditch! Daniel tells Esther that it's probably only a couple more miles to town. Everyone tries to push the truck while Johnny guns the engine. Esther offers to switch places with Johnny, because he's a better pusher. We see her give a sly look to the camera as she settles into the driver's seat. So naturally, when the truck moves, she just drives away. Suckers! Miljan is the only one who isn't surprised. He tells them that she got the five hundred million dollars out of the Revealer. Ah, very clever. I actually like that she stole something valuable that wasn't useful as survival supplies, and also that we got to find out what she stole. Everyone wants to know how Miljan knew that, and he tries to keep them focused on the subject of Esther screwing them. That's good thinking, because I think the answer is going to be something like "He learned it psychically from his totem pole."
Another shot of everybody walking through the snow. At least they all picked up winter clothing somewhere along the way. They spot a town in the distance. And the road looks so well-used that there's not even any snow on it. That should make it easy to get there. But when they get there, the town is all rusted out and empty. Is this one of those Potemkin villages I've heard so much about? It's got abandoned cars to go with the empty buildings, so it appears that someone lived here at some point. Sam has found a notice of evacuation, telling all the residents to leave immediately and go to the nearest military camp. They find a shoe store with a phone, but there's no dial tone.
People kind of split up. Sam calls Sabina to check something out, and she brings everyone else. It's Esther's truck, but it is not occupied by Esther or the money. There's some debate about whether they should find shelter or look for people. Neeko spots an apartment with lighted Christmas lights on the balcony. Since this is as good a destination as any, they grab their supplies (the ones Joyce didn't take) and head over there. When they get to the apartment, Daniel opens the door right away. Then they shout and knock. There's no dial tone on the cordless phone, but there's power. The shot of the phone shows a fedora that might be important. The apartment is empty, and Sam checks the refrigerator. There's some bread, so things are looking up! Miljan checks the closet, and then looks very shifty. He's found a gun on the shelf, and he sticks it in his waistband without telling anyone. That's a reasonable move, I think. I mean, I could see how the others might find it sketchy, but they don't like him much, so he might want a gun for self-defense. Or to advance his crazy agenda. Incidentally, you might think everyone would have learned a lesson from Esther about how they shouldn't trust someone who's already tried to cheat them. But Miljan, who actually tried to kill Irene, is allowed to roam free and pick up spare guns.
Johnny and Joyce banter flirtatiously as he looks through the refrigerator. Miljan puts a cd on, and now we have strumming guitar music to listen to as people look around this apartment and steal all of the resident's stuff. Sabina likes the jewelry. Neeko is taking a nap. Irene and Daniel stand outside, and he tells her how he feels about her. They kiss.
Day turns to night. Joyce is impressed by all the clothes that Sabina stole from the producers. There's also a camera tape she found in the woods. Joyce thinks it might be from the one that was filming her and Johnny. So let's check it out!
It is, in fact, the two of them fighting. They come upon a white hemisphere covered in pine branches. It has that symbol of Ogdy on it. And other symbols. On the inside, Joyce has found what looks like a drawing of a body of water with sixteen dots in it. Daniel thinks it's a prop, and Joyce wants to get away from it. Then the footage jumps to them hiding in the dark. A weird dog-thing bounds out of the dark at them. The footage jumps again. There's a bolt of light from the sky, and the sky turns that color no one had ever seen. It was green. The cameraman drops the camera and runs.
And then! The soldiers are outside, looking for them! Everyone hides, but they're hiding in the only lit apartment in the whole city, so it's probably only a matter of time until the soldiers show up. Sabina prepares to pretend her gun is loaded. Someone walks in. It's Aussie Host! From the beginning of the series! Joyce says, "Buckley?" He says, "You're not supposed to be here."
That's the end…of the season, anyway. But I'd be pretty shocked if this got picked up, so it's probably the end of the series. I hope you enjoyed it!
Follow Monty on Twitter at @monty_ashley and read his blog, Mysterious Exhortations.