And then there were five. Janine, Matthew, Brian, Jon and (ugh) Brig file in to the salon and greet Camila, who looks like she has had a really tight perm, but not entirely in a bad way. (Not entirely in a good way, either.) Brig is sporting what appears to be a cream-colored romper with a black belt, black gloves, white tights, and white stilettos, and all of this is topped off with a ship captain's hat. That, folks, is what trying too hard looks like. They walk in and see five dresses hanging up and Janine is the one with the smarts to realize they are all tiny and sparkly, which implies a young crop of clients this week. Matthew gets his work up on the Allure Wall of Fame, and away we go.
Camila tells them that their clients are on the verge of starting "a new chapter in their lives," and five high school girls file in. Janine squeals like they are tiny puppies, audibly enough for them to hear, which is awkward. Jon notes that the girls are all African-American, and that he has almost no experience with their hair type. The girls all recently graduated from high school, and Camila tells us that it's the beginning of the "formal season," so they want to update their looks to fit formal occasions. I don't even know what that means -- are they debutantes? Let's say yes. The challenge is all about dealing with the texture of African-American hair, and we're introduced to celebrity hairstylist Kimberly Kimble, who has styled both Beyoncé and Mary J. Blige, among others. Kimberly advises them that they have to be very conscious of the texture and understand how to get it to do what they want. Brig is hugely nervous, while Janine is totally confident and drops that she used to do Lil' Kim's hair for a while. I think that would be a total hoot -- I bet she has some fantastic gossip both about and from Lil' Kim. The stylists pick dresses that pair them up with their clients.
Camila reminds them that they will be judged on their execution, skills and customer satisfaction, and this week throws in that they will also be judged on how age-appropriate their styles turn out. Winner gets first pick of model in the elimination challenge. She gives them 90 minutes and sends them on their way. Matthew wants to do color, while Brig tells her client she wants to go tall. What she tells us in an interview just reinforces every moronic and annoying thing about her -- as she's only styled African-American hair once before, she plans to, and I quote, "fake it." She is going to pull all the girl's hair back and then put on a big hairpiece that she can style. It's 100% not what they've been asked to do, which is work with hair of a different texture than they've worked with so far, and I only pray that this and the sheer amount of interview time we've seen already means that she's on her way out this week. Brian waxes about being that age and rather sweetly wants to make sure he imparts that they can do whatever they want, since he let his own insecurity hold him back for a while. Jon is going to give his client bangs and admits he's not sure if he's going to do well due to his own lack of experience. Janine, on the other hand, is super-confident, and clicks with her girl immediately when she suggests a Gwen-Stefani-inspired 'do.
Kimberly comes in to visit with all of them. She seems worried that Matthew's plan to put some of it up might not be age-appropriate. Brig tells Kimberly she wants to go more high-fashion, and at Kimberly's skeptical look at the weird, skinny, tall front bump she has going on admits that currently her look is a "hot mess." Janine explains how she's doing the Gwen look, which so far seems to be really cute, but Kimberly seems skeptical about how Janine just sort of wound in some hair extensions. Poor Jon seems nervous about Kimberly being there and then puts his foot in it when he says that he doesn't want the hair to look like B*A*P*S... which Kimberly worked on. D'oh. He tries to cover and say the hair was great in the movie and just isn't what he's going for now, but basically he's choking on his shoe. Kimberly gives them a 15-minute warning and reminds them that she doesn't want to see any frizz -- and Matthew knows that comment is directed his way.
Time is up, and they all line up to be judged. The girls come out in their dresses for the judging, and the stylists all ooh and aah over them. Jon shows his soft side when he's clearly genuinely impressed by how they all look and he interviews how awesome it is to feel pretty. They do all look really cute, but let's get down to the hair, shall we? Brig is up first, and honestly she's done a full-on Bride of Frankenstein look -- it's all hugely tall and teased, and she worked in some sort of glittery thread up through it that looks like the Bride's white streaks in the photo. The girl says she likes it but her face says it's terrifying. Kimberly thinks the texture isn't smooth enough and thinks it's somewhat too high-fashion. Janine grins at the slam. Matthew is up -- he gave her hair a more chocolate tone and pulled it up on one side with a rhinestone clip, with a long, heavy sideswept bang and tons of volume. It's cute, but it's kind of dated, and Kimberly calls him on that and says it could have been smoother. Brig looks delighted, but honestly Matthew's is still better than hers. At least it's age-appropriate. Janine's client is up , and she lets out an "Oooh!" when she sees herself in the mirror, she's so delighted. It's been wound around on one side and then to the back, and she worked some gold ribbon through the style and put in a few tiny rhinestone clips. She looks phenomenal, and Kimberly loves how it's sleek and totally age-appropriate. Janine clearly loves teenagers and making them feel better about themselves, and while I'm sure Brig thinks it's all put on, Janine just seems delighted to make her client feel so good and to have made it such a fun experience for her. Jon's client also adores her hair, which is pulled back as well, with a side part and then the hair piled up at the nape of her neck. He thinks he did okay, but Kimberly says she can tell it's only his third time styling African-American hair because while it looks cute, she's right that it's not smooth at all, and Jon takes it all with quite a good nature. Brian's girl is thrilled that she got exactly what she wanted -- it's pulled half-up and the part that's up is done in very defined, structured curls. Kimberly thinks it's a little too young, but Brian argues that this hair is historically awesome if you look at paintings or sculptures. ...Well, you've got to love his undying confidence in himself, even when he makes no sense. Kimberly's least favorite style was Brig's, which she claims was too high-fashion, and of course Brig just laughs that off. Kimberly's two faves are Brian and Janine, and Janine is then named the ultimate winner. She and her girl start squealing and jumping like, well, two 17-year-olds. She'll get first pick of model in the challenge and gets to pair up everyone else as well, causing Brig to look sick.
Back at the apartment, while Brig stares at herself in the mirror and listens to her headphones, Brian, Janine and Matthew talk about her -- Janine thinks she absolutely had the worst style that day that could have been done in 10 minutes, and Matthew brings up how she's completely alienated herself. Brian thinks she's playing a game, and there's some debate about whether or not she's playing or she's actually nuts -- you can guess what Janine and Matthew think. Janine points out, and she's earned the right to say this with all of her wins, that if Brig's going to play she should then bring it to the challenges and do a really good job, which she hasn't done yet with any consistency.
Tiny short apartment segment time -- the three of them realize Brig's been gone a while and ask where she is. Brig then stomps out of the bedroom, asking where Brig is, and then... Jon comes roller-skating out in her gold bathing suit, yellow lace tights, a red tutu, an orange slinky as a bracelet and three of Brig's hair bows. He also has on a yellow wig that we've seen her wear -- does she just have a series of these awful orange-yellow wigs that she brings out depending on what length she wants? Something about that seems weird, for a hairstylist.
The day they all file on to some set, where Camila greets them in a wig of her own, which gives her a short bob with bangs. It's not her best look. She tells them that their guest judge is a Grammy-winning singer/songwriter who is going to be holding an event that night -- it's Estelle! Aw, her song "American Boy" will forever take me back to an amazing vacation to England that I took a couple of summers ago, so I'm happy with this already. She's going to be hosting a VIP listening party for her new album, and she explains to them that the album is about her leaving London for New York, and is all about sexy '60s and '70s fashion. The stylists will be doing her guests' hair, and the judges will see the look on the red carpet when the guests arrive. Brian thinks he has it in the bag.
Camila brings out their guests -- all hot women -- and Janine then pairs everyone up. Just as Brig expected, Janine pairs her up with the one who has the long, thick, curly hair that's going to take the most work. She calls it obvious of Janine, in an effort to get in some sort of last word, but... of course it is. She is in fact hoping you'll fail and that none of us will have to see you again after this week, and she's not hiding that. They'll be judged on creativity, skill and how well they incorporate the theme into the style. Camila sends them off for 90 minutes of styling.
Orlando meets them at the salon and starts their time. Brian's model has straight brown hair that goes a few inches past her shoulders. Brian wants to bring her hair forward, cut it short, and leave some roots. His client thinks that his idea is Paris Hilton, and Brian has to correct her that he's thinking Edie Sedgwick, muse of Andy Warhol. Janine's client is African-American, and they decide to go the Diana Ross route. Jon's client also has long brown hair like Brian's client, and he wants to darken her roots a bit. She's hesitant, but he insists that she needs it and he has to really work and show her examples to try and convince her he won't go too dark. Brig tells her client she wants the hair to "look significantly shorter" and I'm not really sure what that means. Matthew's client has long blonde hair, and he wants to give her a giant ponytail with braids all around and a huge fall. Orlando makes the rounds as everyone colors and cuts away.
Oh dear, Brig is also going for a Diana Ross-inspired look, which is sure to cause fireworks. She realizes that they keep telling her she's been overdoing it and so promises to edit her work this time, but then again, is this really the challenge to go small? I'm thinking no. Janine overhears the comment about Diana Ross and is completely pissed off, thinking Brig is copying her. I'd be curious to see the raw footage and see if this was the order things really happened, but I'm inclined to think that it is because she specifies that she's doing a, "classic, shiny, bouncy Diana Ross," clearly to separate her idea from Brig's, and Brig overhears and has her own shit fit. Orlando definitely seems more impressed by Janine's idea than Brig's. Brig tells us that her whole purpose here is to rain on Matthew and Janine's parade because they are so annoying, and yeah, maybe they are, but they are the ones who have been bringing it every single week and so Brig better actually step up her work. Orlando gives Matthew a warning about her roots, which are a little darker than the rest of her hair, and he admits he probably should have colored them. Brian, meanwhile, has gone totally the opposite direction and his client has 2-inch dark brown roots with Brig-yellow hair. Let's hope that lightens up with some blow-drying. Brian admits that if you don't know his inspiration, you might find the look to be "trailer park." Seriously, did this not occur to him as a bad idea? This girl is going to have this hair for much more than one night and now people walking down the street that didn't get the orientation pamphlet are going to think she looks like trailer trash. Jon, to his own surprise, tells Orlando to go away because he's making him too nervous. And, time.
They arrive at the club and sit on one side of a red carpet while the judges sit on the other, and watch each of their clients come through. Matthew is up first, and his girl looks super-cute with this massive ponytail surrounded by braids as thick as ropes -- it goes great with her fringed, gold mini-dress. The only problem is that now that the roots were pointed out, they are all I can see, because they really are too dark. Brian's client is up -- her hair is short and shaggy, with some lift at the crown. There's a lot of glitter in it, but that can't distract from the fact that she looks like someone dipped the top layer in bleach and forgot the rest. It's not a great blonde and it is way too severe a difference from the brown. Janine's girl is up and she looks amazing with HUGE volume and curl, tons of lift, and a purple orchid holding it back over one ear. Brig's girl is up , and her hair is all pulled up and surrounded by thin braids. She's then made it into a mass of frizzy tiny curls, as opposed to her natural bigger curls, but I feel like it's not big enough -- and while she seems to be proud for playing it safe, it doesn't feel like enough after the first three. Finally, Jon's client comes out, and she's got a thick sideswept bang and then the rest of her hair has been teased up in a bouffant but left hanging long in back, with some braids making a kind of headband to keep it off of her face. It looks fantastic, and I would like someone to do this for my hair, please. They all get to join the party, and Matthew is sure that afterward he and Janine will be the top two yet again.
It's time for judging, and based on everyone's outfits they came straight from the party to do this. Camila introduces them all, and they get right to it. First up is Janine, who talks about how she wrap-curled all of her client's hair and then picked it all out. Estelle says it's absolutely what she had in mind and asked for, and Kim calls it "Hotter than a gay bar on fire." Camila has to add a little bit of dissention and wishes there was a little more definition, but it sounds like she's just trying to make this not such an obvious conclusion. Matthew is up and describes how he went about making this gigantic ponytail. Jonathan loves it and thinks it's great for the time period, though he admits the color is a little bit of a problem. Kim gives him a much harder time about the roots and reminds him that the last time someone had visible roots, they were eliminated. Brian is up and describes his Edie Sedgwick idea, but after he's done talking and talking and talking some more, Estelle says she thinks Edie Sedgwick was still much more classic than what he gave here. Jonathan thinks that she looks like a heroin addict who has been too high to get her hair done for months, and when Brian throws out Edie's name again Jonathan points out that he got too locked on to the idea and didn't actually think about the actual hair. Brig is then up and explains how she wanted to do an afro-inspired look, but Jonathan immediately tells her that this doesn't feel red carpet, and instead feels more like she pulled her hair back to wash her hair after the night. Bwahahahahaha! He then calls her on laughing about it as he gives his critique, and when he says that he could have done it in six minutes Brig sasses that that is why he's a judge and she is a contestant, but he throws back at her that a) this is true and b) that's a total cop-out, and can I just say that MAN, that all was satisfying? Jon laughs that he's up right after that, but explains how he darkened and layered her hair to do "Barbarella meets the Kennedys." Kim loves the color and the shine, and Estelle thinks it looks great. With that, they are sent off to the salon. Brian tells the others that he hopes the judges are Googling images of Edie Sedgwick. Okay Brian, here you go. Where in these does she have crazy 2-inch roots with a weird crown of yellow on top of her otherwise brown hair? Not in a single one of these images.
The judges discuss everyone, and they all agree that Janine did an awesome, amazing job. When they discuss Matthew, Jonathan admits that he actually likes the color, but Kim thinks it was too big a difference from the roots to the rest of her hair. Brian is up , and Kim comments that he invented a new hair color -- not blonde, not orange, but blorange! Oh honey, Brig invented that already. Everyone hates it. Finally they discuss Brig, and Estelle thinks that she gave them wedding hair, and there's nothing special about it -- everyone agrees that she underwhelmed when she should have gone for it. Seriously, red-carpet '60s/'70s hair isn't when you decide to edit your work. Finally they discuss Jon, and Camila likes that he did a great job doing part '60s, part '70s, while Estelle loves both the color and the style.
Camila calls them all back in, and it's no surprise that Janine and Jon are called forward as the top two. Jon appears to have a raccoon tail hanging from his belt, accessorizing his manpris, like a gay Davy Crockett. She compliments both of their styles, waits a moment for dramatic effect, and then tells them that again, Janine is the winner. See, Brig -- she might not be your cup of tea, but I have to tell you that if I got to choose who was going to do my hair, she would be my first choice. Also, the reason I like Matthew, too, is that while he's clearly not pleased to not be in the top, he seems genuinely happy for his friend to have won, and on top of that he generally does a really good job. Camila then calls forward Brian and Brig as the bottom two. She goes over all the shortcomings of their totally awful styles, and then makes them sweat it out a few moments before... FUCK... telling Brian he's leaving. When it comes down to talent, that's fine -- I think that the top three should be Janine, Matthew and Jon, and that Brian and Brig just haven't done consistently well enough to keep up with them. But SERIOUSLY, people, give this poor recapper a break! Brig isn't even a fun reality villain, she's just an annoying pain in the butt who sucks an hour of my life each week! Uuuuuuuugh.
Brian's final words are to pointedly say he respects their subjective opinions and to tell them that he had a good time. I really hope that he goes home and Googles some images of Edie Sedgwick after this is over. Overall, though, I enjoyed his quirky attitude, and I'm sad he's gone despite his totally wretched style. Brig tells Matthew and Janine to watch out and claims she has a chance to win this -- lord, please let week be the last. I leave you with Brian's own words, about how he brought something no one else did: "I created hairstyles that were not necessarily fashion, but were looked upon as fashion-like." What? Exactly. Let's ignore that he then adds that we should look up Edie Sedgwick, since we already did, and he was totally wrong. Sorry, Brian.