And we're down to seven. The stylists file into the salon where Camila tells them that Brian's work will be on the Allure Wall of Fame, and he must not know how to just take a compliment gracefully because he acts almost a little bit surprised, which -- dude, this is what happens every week. Camila is done up in one of my least favorite hairstyles -- long hair that's been pulled up to look like a bob. She and her unfortunate hair introduce the guest judge for the shortcut challenge, and between his unusual name and Camila's accent I have literally no idea who he is -- thank goodness for a chyron, which tells me his name is Moulay Yacoubi and he's good at dry haircuts. A bunch of curly-haired models file in, and Camila tells them they each have to give their model a graduated bob, both cutting and styling with the hair totally dry, and the final style must be straight. This is met with a lot of slack-jawed stares. They pick scissor boxes, and Amy exclaims, "Oh, heavens!" which was a good language save for TV when once again she has last pick. Matthew starts off the model picking, and halfway through Brig picks a redhead because they... have the same hair? I guess her ugly fake Orangina-shade just goes to prove her lack of taste because GIRLFRIEND. You did THAT to your red hair? No. Before they get started Camila gives them one last rule -- after they finish their cut they must turn in all their cutting tools before styling. This way they can't fix a shitty cut once the hair is all smoothed out. Brig looks like she's going to barf, and she declares that no one is going to be able to do this perfectly. I don't care if anyone does it perfectly, but I just hope everyone does it better than she does.
April admits that this cut is not her style at all (and then reminds us again and again and AGAIN that she'd never give someone this cut in real life), while Janine reminds us that this is the same cut that she so famously botched in episode one. Brian thinks he has an advantage given that he's used to dealing with his own curly hair, but unless he's secretly going out with a straight bob some nights, I don't know that it's going to mean much. Ugh. Brig tells her girl that a bob can look a little "maternity" if it's done wrong. Brig, the bob isn't having a baby, and it's not too much to ask that you know the word "maternal," even if you're from the (totally not really) sticks. Remember when at one point I thought that I was done caring about Brig one way or the other? Well, I'm back firmly in the, "shut the hell up and get off of my TV" camp. I also love that she knocks it as mom hair when before she was bragging about how she totally does mom hair in her job at home. Interesting factoid: Amy is a stepmom! Now back to all of the panicked bitching about dry cutting. Moulay walks around and Janine lies about how much she totally loves being able to see what's happening as she works on her dry cut. Brig finishes cutting before everyone else, panics about that, and decides to spend more time making it perfect. I am so scared for her poor model, because Brig winds up shaving off the bottom two inches of her hair, a style popular with girls in my junior high circa 1991 that turned out to both not look good and to be a bitch to grow out again. Ha! Janine echoes what I just said about the growing out, and Brig's model looks terrified. Moulay promises Jon one of his giant bejeweled rings as a prize if he wins, and Jon is such a class act that he says he'll have to use it as a cock ring. Um... okay.
Amy is done first and hands in her scissors, with everyone else following suit soon after. Matthew notices some people coloring their models' hair and snarks about what a poor use of time it is, and then we're treated to the usual montage of freaking out and trying to finish in time before Camila tells them all that time is up.
Matthew is up first with a long bob and Moulay loves it, though I think it's a little uneven. Honestly, this challenge is a little weird because it's super-unrealistic that anyone wouldn't touch up a cut like this once it was blown out, but hey, they need something to do. up is Janine, and her girl has a chin-length bob that actually looks nice and smooth, and while Moulay says it is heavier on one side, he likes it, too, and I think it's better than Matthew's cut. Brig is up , and it's not a great blow-out and has very little gradation for a supposed graduated bob. She is pursing her lips like it's taking all her self-control to keep quiet as Moulay knocks her for a crappy job and for cutting for a million years and winding up with this crappy cut. (Wait until he realizes part of it is shaved!) Brian walks up and his poor girl has a mushroom head and her hair isn't smooth. It's unfortunate. He takes a million years to explain the cut and finally Moulay cuts him off to tell him it's shitty. Amy is up and her model has much longer pieces in front, but it's smooth and well done. Moulay loves her cut but he says that she didn't need to spend time coloring it.
April is up and her girl just has a shorter cut with a huge curl at the bottom. In addition to not being what they asked for, it's also quite a mushroom. Moulay rips her apart for not doing an even cut, and April says that it's not for her, but it's cool and she still respects Moulay (for which I'm sure he's eternally grateful). He tells her that it's not the point; it's what she was asked to do, so she just drones back that she failed, and that's fine, before reminding us again in an interview that she hates this cut. But again... not the point. Adee got sacked for it last week, and now I fear I'm going to have to keep looking at Brig's stupid mug for another week because April decided she didn't want to do the actual challenge. Good lord, did any of these people realize that when they signed up to be on a reality show that there would in fact be challenges, with guidelines, and that the POINT of all this was to then take part and follow said guidelines? This is so annoying. Jon thanks her for pissing everyone off before he's up , but honestly he's in good shape since he did an actual bob. He did a terrible, uneven job, but it's a bob. The two at the bottom are Brig (yay!) and unsurprisingly, April. The top two are, also unsurprisingly, Matthew and Janine. I say that not because I thought they were the best -- Janine, maybe, Matthew no -- but because they're pretty consistently the two frontrunners at this point. Janine winds up being the actual winner and earns first pick of model in the elimination challenge.
Everyone heads home and Janine gloats about how she and Matthew are on top again, and Janine really seems to think this is just a given by now. It will be interesting to see if she gets too big for her britches and fucks something up soon. Jon asks April about her venting and April admits that she lost it but then mocks Moulay for being upset with her. She again tries to argue that the cut isn't for every person nor is it for every hair type, but Matthew gets in a pretty good last word by again reminding her that it was still, in fact, the challenge. Okay, I'm bored. April, I don't think you can do a bob because you're protesting too much, and I wish you'd just shut up, do a good job, have your work speak for itself, and be done with it.
Weird tiny apartment segment time! Brian bleaches his teeth. The end.
The morning they file back in to the salon where Camila is waiting for them, looking like an absolute bombshell in a corset top and her hair in loose waves pulled back from her face -- this is about 1000 times better than yesterday's flapper look. She tells them that the challenge will be all about pleasing the military men whose photos are set up on a table. Matthew is already emotional as the clients file in; they are all military wives whose husbands (in the pictures) are all away. Jon actually admits he has a heart by interviewing about how amazing these people are who fight for us every day. The women are going to be recording video messages and taking photos for their husbands and will do so dressed (like Camila) as 1940's pin-up girls. I would absolutely LOVE to get made up like this sometime, but man would I be scared to let some members of this bunch be in charge. Hopefully the meaningful nature of the challenge will actually keep everyone on track. Camila tells them they must create finger waves or pin curls to give them a "'40s glam hairstyle." She introduces their guest judge of the week, Robert Vetica, a celebrity stylist who has styled Salma Hayek and Naomi Watts. He explains that while women didn't have money to dress up in the 40's, they could still have a glamorous hairstyle. Janine picks her client and the others all pick photos of the husbands to pair them up with their clients.
Amy's client has a short curly bob, which makes her happy, though in her interview Amy has tears in her eyes. It will be interesting to see if this is because she's doing this post-elimination or if she's just emotional due to the nature of the challenge. Camila tells them that they'll be judged on skill and their overall look, and then warns that the judges will be doing judging during the photo shoot. With that, we are off and running. Everyone explains to their clients what they have in mind, and because this is such a personal challenge they all seem to be even more invested than usual in doing a good job, even April.
Orlando visits Brig, who is brightening her client's hair and explains the million things she plans to do, and he once again worries about her finishing in time. He goes over and points out to Janine a bunch of little short hairs around her hairline, so she tries to fix the problem. He warns Jon to make sure his client's husband recognizes her. Brig's client has some really harsh highlights going on and I hope that when her hair dries it blends in better, because that seems distinctly current-day to me. (And who am I kidding -- I hope it looks good for this woman personally, but at the same time I would love this to be the last week I have to recap a single word of Brig's.) Orlando visits Amy and warns her that she seems to be going more '20s than '40s, which Matthew notices as well but he opts not to say anything, as this is a competition. Janine is running short on time. Oh, poor Amy is trying to undo what she had started doing, and I fear those are elimination tears in her eyes during her interviews. When time is called, there seems to be a lot of stress in the air from hairdos not really getting finished.
The stylists then meet their clients on set after they have been through wardrobe, and all the judges are waiting there as well to see what happens. Brig is up first with her client Carey, who loved the pampering. She has really thick bangs and then her hair is pulled up on one side and loose and wavy everywhere else. This is going to be hard for me to talk about really objectively because these are regular women doing something awesome for their amazing husbands, but if there's one thing I can say here it's that I think the color is way too... chunky? Bright? It's just way too modern. Jonathan doesn't take off his bitchface but says she looks amazing, like it's foreign for him to let a sincere compliment cross his tanned lips. Amy's client, Jessica, cries as she leaves her message for her husband, drawing tears from Amy and Camila as well. But Amy is right that while she looks beautiful, the hair technically isn't quite right for the challenge. It's a really cute curly bob, but not really '40s. April's client Sarah has long blonde hair in waves, swept around and over one shoulder into one strange, thick curl. It's not really polished, and April admits that, but she hopes that it works for what was asked of them.
Matthew's girl looks amazing with barrel rolls in her hair, wearing a little skirted swimsuit. She looks like a pin-up straight out of an old magazine, and the icing is that she's got the most amazing smile and is clearly so happy as well. Jon's client Tracy also has a similar 'do -- her hair isn't in actual barrel rolls but is pulled back away from her face in big waves and held with a ribbon. Brian's client Lisa has the barrel rolls but with huge, thick bangs that seem to me a little too long in front since I can barely see her eyes. Janine's client Stephanie has an updo with a big red flower over one ear and a couple of tendrils coming out. She looks super-cute, but there's no real '40s style to it, and Janine admits that it looks like a 5-minute updo. (Which is what it totally was.) The judges knock it for being messy, and we aren't even in panel yet! But we're about to be.
The stylists face the judges and Camila goes over the challenge and introduces the judges, then jumps right in with Amy's work. While Jessica looks gorgeous in her photo, Kim points out her roots and reminds Amy that the '40s were about being polished; Amy's defense that this wasn't a challenge so much about color and deciding to spend her time elsewhere is weak. Jonathan knocks her not-really-finger waves and Robert says that a stylist has to have these skills as a base. Brig is up , and while I don't like the color, Kim loves it and Jonathan is happy with the style. Robert points out that she has three distinct styles with the bangs, the roll and a flip on the other side, and while he doesn't really say if he likes it one way or the other his face and the ominous music say it's a strike against her, if her only one so far. Matthew's girl is officially my favorite because she just looks so charming and amazing in her photos, which Camila loved. Ooooh, one thing I hadn't noticed is that the back of her hair is actually in a hair net, which Jonathan doesn't like, since it hides the waves. Robert, though, says it's vintage '40s and he nailed it. April explains her work but admits that, looking at the photo, she wants to brush it out and re-pin it. Camila has a rare harsh moment as she reminds April that she had two hours to work and make it look more finished. Kim is totally nonsensical in trying to be witty but his bottom line is that her client's husband could have done that hairdo himself.
Jon's girl also has a supe-cute photo, and Kim compliments the shine and the rolls, but Jon is knocked for a messy part and for not getting the little fuzzies along her hairline. The Janine is called up and basically admits she threw the flower in to make it '40s. Jonathan tells her it's not pin-up hair, and Janine has to admit that things went wrong and she couldn't leave it down like she wanted to. Robert doesn't care, and he tells her that hairdressers control the hair, not the other way around. Brian is up and dude, his girl seriously has to look at the ceiling to see out from under those bangs, and Kim hates them. Jonathan doesn't mince words, and tells him bluntly, "That hairstyle sucks." Camila reminds him that he's lucky to have immunity. With that, they all are dismissed to wait out deliberations.
Janine's style isn't '40s. Everyone loves the job that Matthew did in the front, but the judges are divided on the hairnet, with Jonathan finding it lazy while Robert finds it to be period-appropriate. Kim loves Brig's color, but Robert just doesn't like the hairdo and Camila points out there's too much going on at once. April is knocked by everyone for not giving them a finished look. Ditto Amy -- they all feel that she didn't do much of a style and needed color. Brian, while immune, is considered to have had no idea what he was doing. Finally, while Robert liked Jon's work, Jonathan points out that the front and back didn't go together. With that, they call everyone back.
Brig and Matthew are called forward and... the TOP TWO? Oh lord, even if I liked Brig I don't agree with her being top two. Camila compliments them both and then announces Brig as the winner. Brig is thrilled and interviews about how much this proves she's here to win, blah blah blah barfcakes. I think this was called, "We can't have Matthew win yet again."
The bottom three are then called forward: Amy, April and Janine. Janine has her hand on her hip, totally defiant. After reciting their failures, Janine is told she's safe, and we then learn that those tears were post-elimination tears as Amy is told that this was her final cut. She thanks the judges for the experience and hugs the others before taking off. Camila reminds everyone that "Hair is important" before dismissing them, and the stylists seem to be having a hard time not laughing at this point at the pointless catchphrase. Amy interviews that she's sad to go, but she's only 25 and has so much ahead of her, and then classily wishes everyone left good luck. Aw, I liked you, Amy, but I do think it was time. Go play with your stepkids!
Watch this episode here, discuss it in our forums, then see who we think will win!