Welcome back to the Nexxus Shear Genius Salon, everyone. Camila greets the gang and they that notice that the salon is filled with giant bouquets of gorgeous, brightly-colored flowers. Matthew's picture from last week is put up on the Allure Wall of Fame with little of the fanfare that we had the last couple of weeks, and then we meet the week's guest judge, Harry Josh. Not surprisingly, the shortcut challenge is for them to incorporate flowers into their hairstyles and to do it abstractly, as if the flowers were hair. Harry warns them that it's easy to go cheesy. Adee of course has an obnoxious interview (what's new?) about only using flowers when he cheats on someone. All class, that one. The models come out and Matthew has first choice since he won last week, and then the others are paired up by picking matching flowers.
The two hours begin, and Jon offers to turn in his Gay Card since he doesn't know the names of any of the flowers. Brig wants to do cornrows and extensions. Brian wants to do a National Geographic type hairdo and manages to offend his model in the first few moments by commenting happily that her home state, Hawaii, has lots of indigenous people. Her eyebrows will pop off her forehead if she raises them any higher at that remark. Adee can't remember how to do anything basic because he admits he charges hundreds of pounds to have assistants do half his job for him. Brig is totally starstruck by Harry, but he's just worried she won't have enough time to do her 'do. Jon is going to go "geisha mohawk." Adee describes something I don't understand, but Harry thinks it might take too long. April thinks she's doing something powerful, giving her model a chocolate gloss so her hair is a good palate for the color. Brian is doing something that makes his model look like a purple conehead. Awesomely, at the hour mark, Harry gives them a time warning and warns them that some people don't impress him. One of those is Adee, who is doing something Harry deems "Ronald McDonald" because it looks like a shower cap made out of red and yellow gerbera daisies.
Judgment time is here. Matthew's model has an afro with a huge headband of orange gerbera daisies and Harry likes the idea but thinks he used too many flowers, and Matthew seems to agree. Brian has made his model's hair into a purple cone with a leaf stuck to the back and a yellow flower for color but Harry loves it and thinks it looks just like a flower bud. April teased her model's hair out like an '80s rocker and put in a bunch of branches of tiny blue flowers that match her eyes. Matthew accurately describes it as Muppet-like, but while he hates it I think it's an accurate statement in kind of a cool way and Harry loves it. Amy gets some good feedback for the first time in forever. She's put her model's hair up with a bunch of purple orchids and has one long stem coming out of the top of her head with a matching flower at the top. Jon made his girl's bangs purple and put in a ton of purple flowers, but Harry thinks it's hard to make that look expensive and because when it's all purple it's costumey. Jon, always receptive to criticism, interviews afterward with two middle fingers to show what he thought of Harry's opinion. Janine gave her girl a giant teased "fro-hawk" with a bunch of blue pieces of hair worked in with the blue flowers. Harry thinks it's kind of drag queen but likes it -- it's my favorite so far but that's, well, probably because it's drag-queen-esque.
Ugh, Adee is up and says he's kicking himself for always going too out there or too safe. He won't shut up and talks about his bad flower choice, but Harry mercifully cuts him off to insult his work. Adee says that he's won awards for hair and just keeps making the wrong decisions and screwing up here. Dude, STOP TALKING and just finally do one fucking good hairdo so that it seems remotely worth my time for you to be here. Because right now all this time I spend typing about you just feels like time I am never going to get back. I could be watching curling. Brig is up and didn't have time to finish -- Harry calls her out on getting so caught up in what she was doing that she forgot about the flowers, which are missing from most of her model's long braid (though there are strange little pieces of bamboo stuck through at intervals). The bottom two in the challenge is Adee and Jon, while the top two are April and Brian, who both look kind of surprised at their good fortune. I'm certainly surprised at Brian, since it's ugly, but he wins anyway. This, I suppose, is why I'm not a celebrity stylist. He's won the honor of pairing the stylists with models the day for the elimination challenge.
As they are hanging out in their apartment, there is a knock on the door and someone delivers "Camila-Mail" (it's definitely no "She-Mail") [Or even "Tyra Mail." - Zach] that tells them they are invited to a formal party that night, and attendance is mandatory. So, not so much invited as ordered, then. Amy seems to be the one who has watched reality TV before and guesses that someone is going to be kicked out at the end of the night.
We have a short moment where the show becomes Project Runway when Brig decides she's cutting up a thrift-store dress she has to wear to the party. Amy gives Brig the closest thing to a compliment that she has received all season and says that while she wouldn't wear Brig's clothes, Brig carries them off. And there's your random minute-long apartment segment for this week.
So it's not actually night, but it's the last day of a gorgeous Indian wedding. The challenge is for them to restyle the bridesmaids' hairstyles for the reception, and the guest judge is none other than Tabatha. Is it wrong of me that I cheered at the mere idea of her verbally ripping Adee and his excuses to shreds? Jon admits to being nervous about what she might say regarding his work. She tells the group she herself was eliminated from the first season of this show on a wedding challenge. Camila takes them through the usual guidelines and sends them off to meet with Orlando and their clients. The bride herself is there as well, and she looks somewhat terrified. The girls all currently have rather elaborate hairstyles that use lots of jewels, and they want something totally different. Tabatha reminds them as well that since this is an actual wedding, they have to make sure their clients are happy with the results. Brian gets first choice of model and then afterward pairs up everyone else. Though we haven't really seen it yet, I guess he and Adee are friends, so he waited for a wink from Adee as to who he wanted and then hooked him up.
All paired up, they have an hour and a half to complete the challenge. It sounds like just about every person is doing the hair down and wavy. Adee runs into a problem because his model doesn't want anything done at all, no extensions, no adornments, no nothing. Brian's model wants to have Kim Kardashian's hair, God help us and our society, but then she winds up agreeing to let him do a little more to her hair. Amy has a difficult time with her client because she's super shy and will barely speak, so Amy has a hard time figuring out what she wants. Brig's client is a little bit fussy and driving her crazy, which delights me. When Orlando visits Adee he points out that Adee could suggest things that his client might not have thought of, so that he could do something other than just down and wavy. Adee already has his excuses going, though, and will just argue that he's already tried that and nope, it won't work, and I'm brilliant and you should just be able to see that radiating from my body and on and oooooooooon. He actually kind of makes a dig at his client that her hair can't get simpler and he'll probably be on a plane home the night. Here's my problem -- at the moment, her hair doesn't even look that great, simple as it is, and he should have been able to at least accomplish that with his eyes closed. He interviews that he's sick of it all, then complains a while to everyone else. He thinks the one thing that could save him is Brig doing even worse than he does.
Everyone is in a ballroom for the reception, and the bridesmaids are introduced one by one. Jon's girl looks fab -- he put in a ton of extensions, and it's long and curly but pulled back on one side with a huge rhinestone clip, and his girl seems genuinely happy. Matthew's girl is up and she has sideswept wavy hair. Jonathan asks her doubtfully if it's what she asked for and she assures him happily that it is; he seems doubtful. Adee's girl is up . It's boring, down and wavy, but not with any sort of real style. The girl looks pretty, but it's just boring, and Adee thinks that she should tell the judges to cut him a break, but she kind of does the opposite, saying that he suggested it and acting like she didn't even really want the wave. Amy's girl is up and she has a prom-like updo; when Tabatha asks, she says that she wanted to wear her hair down, not up, but that this is okay. I'm not sure Amy knows this, since she just gushes about how sweet and achingly shy the girl was.
Janine's girl is in and her girl has kind of a huge ponytail pulled back with a couple of clips in it. The girl is super-happy and should be, since she looks great. Brig's girl comes in and doesn't look too bad -- one side is pulled up with three tight braids and then it's all long and straight with extensions. She gets the nod over Adee, for me, because at least her girl's hair has some shine. Brian's girl comes in and has a hairdo similar to Jon's, pulled around on one side with a clip and then pinned just a bit on the other to keep it from falling in her face. She loves it, and she sing's Brian's praises because she wanted to just wear it down but he made it even better with his suggestions. April pulled her girl's hair back into a twist with volume on top of her head and a bunch of decorative pins holding it all in place, and then it turns to a ponytail at the bottom and her client seems genuinely happy. I should note that the saris these girls and the other women at the reception are wearing are positively gorgeous, in every color of the rainbow. Camila looks fantastic in her own red sari with a gold headband over her forehead and her hair pulled back into a giant bun at the nape of her neck. We then see bits of the reception and Matthew explains that for letting the stylists come in and do all this, the bride and groom are getting their honeymoon paid for in return. All the judges and stylists alike seem to be having a great time, but I'm sure that will change in judging soon enough.
The stylists are still in their wedding gear but the judges all got a costume change, which seems rather unnecessary. As there are only eight stylists left, only April and Matthew are dismissed, safe but not the winners. Everyone else, as we all know, represent the best and worst of the week. Brig looks positively ridiculous in the dress she cobbled together, and each time I see it, it seems worse. It's a bright blue satin with a big, but short, tulle bubble skirt and what I very well think might be a piece of her gold lamé swimsuit for a belt. She then has a cheap-looking fake fur stole around her shoulders, because the gold swimsuit belt clearly wasn't enough pizzazz on its own.
Jon is up first, and he describes how he put a ton of extensions into his bridesmaid's bob and Kim compliments him on doing a great job. Jonathan seems to be in an extra stroppy mood tonight, though, and says he's seen better work from Jon, who defends that while it's not the most amazing thing he's done, it was what his client wanted. Jonathan just scowls in all his tanned glory. Adee's bridesmaid's hair looks just as bad in her photo as it did earlier -- the waves are half-assed and overall it's pretty limp and totally run-of-the-mill. Adee launches into his excuses about how difficult she was, but Tabatha reminds him that it's his job to make her look better than this. Jonathan speaks the title of this episode -- he's borderline pissed off about the hair and suggests that Adee could have tried something else with the promise to take it down if she didn't like it. Adee admits he panicked and says there's no excuse, but the 485 excuses we've already heard this hour prove quite the opposite. Amy says that she tried to give her short bridesmaid some extra height with the updo, but Kim points out that someone with a round face should never have it all up, and Tabatha points out that leaving some hair down would have elongated her neck. The picture of Janine's bridesmaid doesn't do the hairdo justice, but I can see that it's not all up in a ponytail like I thought, but as Janine points out she left some down to make it a bit more exciting than just a ponytail. Jonathan likes it, which feels like a miracle after he's knocked everyone else, and Kim compliments the way she was able to show all of the texture with her dark hair, which can be difficult. Brian tells them about how he helped persuade his bridesmaid to do something a bit different than just the Kardashian look, and Jonathan compliments how he was able to steer her gently into doing something different -- obviously a pointed dig at Adee's ineptitude. Camila adds that when she walked into the reception, the woman was beaming and clearly loved what he did.
Finally they talk to Brig, who tells her tale of woe at her girl only wanting straight, flat hair. Kim thinks it looks way too simple, and Jonathan yells the same thing at her that he did at Adee about trying something else that she could have turned into this 'do later if need be. Tabatha says she gave up, and Brig snots right back that she never gives up, and the two yell at each other a while as Camila heaves the best, "Oh good lord, here we go" sigh at the camera. Tabatha won't back down and insists Brig gave up and didn't do the best straightening job, to boot, and I have to imagine Brig will get some heat for actually yelling at a judge. Jon at least just flips off the camera in an interview later but doesn't do it to a judge's face. As Brig tells the others back in the studio what happened and asserts that she had to defend herself against the charge that she's a quitter, Jon actually tells her he wouldn't have gotten that "bent." She doesn't get it, though, and just thinks she was standing up for herself. This is why no one likes or respects you, honey: you can't just take criticism and be classy. Well, you can't really be classy at all, it seems.
The judges discuss the hair and Jonathan actually compliments Jon's work this time, admiring how he made it all look like her real hair. Jonathan points out that Adee is talking a big game but then only just makes it through each challenge, while Kim points out that he couldn't even work correctly with the girl's natural texture. up they discuss Janine and how she did everything Adee didn't, showing all the beautiful texture and curl that she created. Amy's work is deemed too 1980, and Tabatha adds that it doesn't suit the girl's face. They liked Brian's work and how he clearly put a lot of thought into it and made a great 'do with lots of movement. And then there's Brig. Everyone hated it, she didn't straighten it well, and Jonathan thinks it totally wasn't wedding-ready. Interestingly, her appalling behavior isn't ever mentioned.
Everyone is called back in, and Jon, Janine and Brian are called forward as the top three. Oh lord, Jon is wearing short pants as formal wear? No, no, no. Thank goodness he's better with hair than clothes. Camila compliments them all and then, after dismissing Jon, she announces Brian as the winner, which he definitely deserved. (Any of the three of them, really, could have won that and I would have been fine with it.)
, she calls up Adee, Amy and Brig as the bottom three. Amy has been up there before but she might skate by again on the fact that she's a pleasant human being instead of someone who did a bad job and then was a complete ass on top of it. She reminds each of them of how much they sucked, but then unsurprisingly tells Amy that she's safe. After a couple of moments making them sweat, she dismisses Adee, who doesn't seem surprised. Remember everyone: "Hair is important." Adee packs up to leave and actually admits that this might have been his own fault, and that he never really showed what he is actually capable of. He then leaves with words from Winston Churchill: "Keep calm and move on." A quick google has taught me that Churchill totally didn't say that, it was actually "Keep buggering on," but hey -- Adee made a classier exit than I ever would have expected, so he gets a pass. Hell, if he'd just acted like this and done the job he kept saying he was capable of doing, I probably wouldn't have been actively rooting for him to leave. Oh well. KBO, Adee!