Nine stylists enter, and only eight leave. Who will be CUT this week? [Ba-dum-bump.] Oh my goodness, Brig has added brassy orange extensions to her always understated look. And Jon has a big cut on his nose that looks like he got punched, which we see when Camila unveils his hairstyle from last week on the Allure Wall of Fame. There's a pause, punctuated by some little grunts from Adee, and when asked by Camila he admits he's got food poisoning but says he'll be fine. In an interview, though, he admits to not giving a shit (his words) about the challenge. I can't really blame him, especially as he admits it's a bad attitude but he's feeling nasty. Food poisoning is ugly. Camila introduces the judge, and there are some time-filling lingering shots of the stylists before Ken Paves, Jessica Simpson's BFF, walks through the door. He's known for "expertise in hair extensions," and she mentions his own line, which I actually thought was marketed as J. Simp's line, with just some help from Ken. (To all of you who clicked on that link and now can't stop singing "A Public Affair" like me -- you're welcome!) What will So.Cap say about competing extensions on this show?? The short cuts challenge is going to be all about extensions, but the twist is that the clients are... men. Everyone except Brig is delighted. Ken tells the skeptical stylists that extensions on women are easy, but on men they are more difficult. Yes, as we are no longer in 1984 when Bon Jovi's locks were a sought-after look, I believe that's true. Camila tells them to give these guys a longer, sexier look, and the winner will receive an advantage in the elimination challenge.
Everyone draws their scissor boxes, and Matthew gets #1 and chooses a curly-haired guy first. When it's Adee's turn, he chooses a guy "who looks cool." I hope that works as well for him as picking the hot girl did last week. Amy's last, and gets a guy with normal, thick, brown... guy hair. There's no other way to describe it. Everyone starts grabbing extensions and gets to work. As I watch this, all I can think about is when my friends got these extensions as part of a promotion, and one used them to go as Fergie for Halloween. I will give credit where credit is due -- they actually looked quite good on. Amy is pretty positive until her client starts talking, and he's skeptical about Amy knowing what she's doing and is worried his hair might fall out. She stays pretty nice as she points out that they all have an idea of what they are doing to have gotten onto this program, but in a separate interview admits she can't stand the guy. Brig kind of insults her guy, and thinks he needs a cut rather than more hair, though as that's not the point maybe she should just get on with the challenge at hand. She's going to cut and then go long in front. Faatemah is worried as well but is going to go long and create something that can be put in a ponytail. Janine wants to go Elvis, and if her client's voice is anything to go off of, he's skeptical. Matthew's plan is to go "bigger and better" and confidently tells us that he's great at extensions. Adee decides to not put in any extensions because he thinks they look terrible on men, and his client is clearly worried about him having this attitude before he's even begun. Adee doesn't give a crap, and thinks he doesn't need anyone judging him while he's sick, though honestly from what we've seen he doesn't think he needs anyone judging him anytime, so I'm not sure how this is that different. April is confident, as she does a lot of long men's hair and is thinking of a Richard Gere look for her silver fox of a client.
Adee gripes to Ken about how his work hasn't been going over well, and Matthew has a brilliant interview in which he calls him out on making excuses when things get tough, and advises that he just suck it up and work. Well said, as Adee's whining and mock-not-caring really has reached a phenomenal pitch. Faatemah admits she's crossing her fingers, since she has no experience with men's hair. April, prompted by Ken, thinks she is the one to beat. The music then goes somber, the camera pans over to Adee pacing, and then he leans over and barfs into a trash can before leaving the salon with the can and a "fuck this."
His client looks understandably worried, probably at the idea of coming out of this challenge with only a single scrawny extension as well as a stomach bug. The stylists all talk about his being sick while they spray and color and extend. It looks like April is potentially having some time issues, while Brig points out that Amy's style is unfortunately mullet-esque.
It's time to see the results. Before bringing up the models, Camila tells them that Adee won't be judged on account of his illness, and it's obvious that despite saying they hoped he felt better, everyone is pissed off at this kindly turn of events. Matthew's client is up and he's got a white-boy afro going on, with defined curls. As it basically pumped up his regular hair, it suits him quite well. Brian is up , and his guy looks like the oldest Jonas Brother. Ken is not fond of the bangs. Brig is up , and she gave her guy longer hair on top and in front, which just looks lank and bad, and Ken tells her that while it was gutsy to use the extensions on the top of his head, he looks feminine. Feminine, or greasy serial killer -- potato/po-tah-to. Janine is up , and her guy's hair is now dark and has a bouffant made of extensions. Ken points out she really could have done the same thing without the extensions, but the guy carries it well even though it gives him a five-head. Brig calls it a Wayne Newton, and while it's a bit apt, I think she's bitter that you wouldn't be afraid to be in a dark alley with Janine's client. Faatemah is up , and her client has a lank little ponytail that Ken accurately describes as a "George Washington look". Then, to Faatemah's horror, he almost takes the ponytail out, which she points out will reveal a heinous mullet. Fortunately for her, her client rethinks it. You know those extensions are coming out five seconds after this camera is turned off. She awesomely admits that if someone asked her out and had this hair that she created, she'd totally turn him down. What do you know, she finally just grew on me a little, for the first time this season! April is up , and her client honestly looks the same, with a bit more color. Ken points out that with all her talking earlier, he also expected way more out of her than this and says it's Bea Arthur in Maude. Oof, don't underwhelm Ken, kids! Jon is up , and his guy looks like a Fall Out Boy with some long bangs with shorter, spiky dark hair. Amy's client is up , and Ken compliments her having just clipped the extensions in rather than glued. It's a bad cut -- it's not a mullet, but it's just kind of stringy and looks like his old cut that needs a trim -- but this guy is an absolute dick and says he isn't happy with it and that it looks like 1984 trailer trash. I'm impressed that Amy kept any nasty comments to herself. Ken obviously doesn't like having to pick a bottom two, but he calls out Faatemah and Amy. Honestly, I think he's sorry to put Amy in the bottom just because I have to imagine he was a bit taken aback by her client's attitude and would have preferred to have left him to stew without the satisfaction of Amy getting such negative feedback. The top two are Matthew, whose client is so cute and happily gives him a pat on the shoulder, and Janine, who jumps up and hugs Matthew. For making his client look even younger and hunkier, Ken names Matthew the winner. Camila then dismisses them for the night and says she and Ken will see them the day.
Oh dude, I'd already forgotten about Adee. The others get home and find him sleeping, and Brig obnoxiously says she's glad because this way she can beat him fair and square. Each of them has their annoying personality traits, but I'll root for Adee a hundred times before I will for Brig. April declares that they need to light sage so that no one else gets hurt or sick. And there you have your tiny, wacky, apartment segment of tonight's episode.
The morning, Adee is up and dressed and Brig tells him it's good to see him, and that she's going to beat him. She then swaggers off while everyone looks disdainfullly after her, and Janine hilariously describes her as, "that awkward, not-funny Napoleon Dynamite character" who everyone wants to just shut up. Janine tells the others she thinks Brig is nuts, and Brig saunters back in with an extra ridiculously large bow on her head, sans makeup, to say she's glad Janine is talking about her because it's the first time she hasn't talked about just herself. It would have packed more punch if anyone else agreed with her even a little bit. Janine asks, "Does she have medicine?" Brig claims to love it, that this way she'll do even better so she can enjoy seeing them eliminated. All that nasty orange hair dye has done something to her brain, as from what I've seen so far there's no way she's winning this thing.
They find themselves all out at a horse ranch, and Camila is of course in a floor-length strapless pink gown with pairs of models, one male, one female, standing to her. Brig loves it because she thinks the bug and dirt throws everyone else off, but here they are 20 minutes from where she lives. Ah yes, the SUBURB I mentioned before. Camila tells them they will be styling a cover shoot, and the models turn over cards to reveal romance novel covers. Jon loves it, while the others seem less than thrilled; their reactions are even more lackluster when Camila tells them they will be working in teams of two. Quickly everyone's sole thought becomes, "I'd better not get stuck with Brig." Matthew's advantage is that he'll pair everyone up and then will assign their models. Adee admits he's not a team player as Camila points out there are nine people, so one will wind up working alone. Matthew decides to work with Janine, who figures that he'd rather work with than against her. He chooses their models, Tangled in Romance, then pairs April and Jon and gives them "Roped Into You. Brian and Amy get Red Feather Reservations while Adee and Faatemah get Heart-Shaped Tempest and that leaves a pretty ticked-looking Brig to work alone, but she of course strikes a triumphant pose as Matthew interviews that he thinks she'll alienate herself even more and basically do herself in. Her title is The Spiral of My Emotions. They have two hours to prepare, except for Brig who will have 15 extra minutes. They'll be judged both by the photo as well as how they work, and will be judged individually in front of the panel later.
Everyone heads into the barn to work, and Brig immediately works on giving her male model long hair while giving her female model full, spiral-curled hair. Adee is thinking a long braid, and Faatemah goes along with it because she doesn't read romance novels, which is the lamest excuse in the book and undoes some of the goodwill she earned. Who hasn't seen romance novels at the drugstore or somewhere and laughed at the cheesy goodness on the covers? Come ON. Matthew wants romance and texture, while Janine wants to go less Fabio, more pirate for their guy model. Trim, extend, color. Orlando then comes in to talk to each of them, and Faatemah nearly bites Adee's head off when he starts to describe her work for her. She's doing some sort of updo, and Orlando seems worried that it will hold. Brig wants her guy to have a braid, and Orlando warns against going too feminine. Brian found a feather on the ground that he's going to work in to his 'do, and Amy is a bit worried about Brian's tendency towards crazy. Adee is bonding with his model and not working as fast as Faatemah would like. Matthew loves Janine's work, which looks kind of like a lion's mane. She and Matthew actually seem to make a really good team, and Janine is thrilled to realize she's found the Jack to her Karen. Brig miscalculates and spends too much time working on her male model so she winds up screwed while she's working on her girl. Everyone seems to be getting a bit of a kick out of watching her desperately try to finish her ringlets. I guess the extra 15 minutes came at the beginning of the time block because she's made to stop at the same time as everyone else.
Janine and Matthew are up first with Tangled in Romance and Janine sees that the judges are there taking notes. She's stoked because she and Matthew work together so well and she's happy with her pirate guy and her girl's wavy, sexy hair. Janine and Matthew are having fun, and it totally shows. up are Adee and Faatemah with The Heart-Shaped Tempest. Adee thinks the guy's hair is sexy, but I find his single braid pigtail kind of odd. He complains (of course) that he didn't have any time to show the photographer how he wanted the shot laid out, but I have to say that Matthew and Janine didn't seem to have a problem so he might just try to get his shit done. The girl's hair is in a strange bouffant up top with a braid wrapped around, and then it's long in back. Jonathan Antin comments that it looks like she has two cinnabuns on her head. Hey, it's just what Kim was looking for last week, only too late! Wah-waaaah. Faatemah isn't happy with how it turned out and is sad she couldn't take down her girl's hair, and the judges look extremely skeptical of it all.
April and Jon are up , with Roped Into You. April loves her big, extensioned hair, and I have to say it looks awesome and sexy in big, messy curls. Jon is darting in and out between photos to fix things, and while he seems sort of manic the judges are impressed that he's really working. The guy's hair is suitably Fabio for their cover, all big and blown out. Amy and Brian then have their turn with "Red Feather Reservations." The female model also has just big, wavy, sexy hair that's loose, while the guy looks a little bit crazy, all teased and super high up top with a thin headband wrapped around in which I assume is the red feather, though I can't see it from this angle. Brian talks to his models about their inspiration, which is hilarious as he's reminding the girl how long it's been since she's seen her man, but the problem is he's not doing much with the hair. Finally, Brig comes up with The Spiral of My Emotion. She got her female model's hair curled, but it's not as big and sexy as some of the others, though I'll give her that she had to do the spiral curls based on the title. She just maybe could have... shaken them out more? I don't know, this seems a little old-timey picture at the fair to me. She admits to being a little intimidated on set, and then admits that the girl's hair isn't where it was supposed to or needs to be. Jonathan doesn't like her guy's hair, which just looks like it needs a good wash, hanging all lank and boring, and... is that a braid? Oh lord, she also has a piece of it in a braid. I feel like that's never a good idea on a man, romance novel or not. Brig interviews that she knows everyone wants to see her go, but she's there to fight for her spot.
Camila then welcomes them all to judging, introduces the judges, and brings up the photos. Matthew and Janine are up first, and their cover is cheesy and fantastic, which I mean totally as a compliment. He explains that the guy's hair was to be more tangled from the sea, while the girl's hair was meant to be more virginal, and they nailed it. I'd like that girl's hair for myself, please. Brig rolls her eyes as the two of them go on about how great it was. They describe how they worked well together and divided up the work fairly evenly, but when asked who led Matthew says it was him and Janine drops her smile for just a second. Overall, the judges are pleased.
up are Brian and Amy, and I had not noticed the rubber arrow sticking out of the guy's chest -- it's supposed to be right through a sling already on his arm and it's hilarious. The girl's hair looks a little flatter than it did in person, but there are the "soft waves" that Amy wanted. Brian talks about how much teasing he did, and Jonathan looks like he's preparing to just rip into them. Kim thinks the color was too salon-fresh looking, and the judges realize you can't even see the feather that was kind of the point of the whole shebang, and that Brian never thought to move it. Jonathan rips Amy for the girl's hair being lifeless.
Brig is up , and her models look like they have matching perms. She apparently braided the guy's hair wet and then let it set. Kim loves the fact that Brig used really light extensions in back of the girl's hair, though he admits he's not sure she did that on purpose. Jonathan doesn't like the guy's ratty hair but gives her props for doing both of them by herself. Matthew has his own turn to look nauseated at her compliments.
We then see Jon and April's cover, and Jon's job on the girl's hair was great -- she's got huge curls and tons of volume. Kim nails April on her giving the guy truly feathered hair, though she loves all the volume with the extensions. I still say it's very Fabio. April fights back a bit that she still loves it, and Kim isn't happy to have his opinion challenged. Jonathan compliments Jon's hair but does point out that he was aggressive with the model; Jon admits that's just who he is.
Finally, Adee and Faatemah are up, and it's just as bad as I feared. Adee tells them that he was inspired by Last of the Mohicans but nowhere in that movie did I see guys with two different hairdos at the same time -- one half is in a braid, while the other is down and just kind of fuzzy and boring. Adee says the guy's haircut is amazing, but Jonathan calls it messy and unfinished. Adee of course bristles at this and begins fighting louder and louder. Jonathan points out that haircutting doesn't have to do with styling a picture, so Adee says "Fuck that picture." It's insane, did this guy not know what it was going to entail, being on this show? That there would be challenges with guidelines that he would have to follow? Because he seems to think that if he just does what he wants to and feels it's great, the judges should love it even if it has no relation to anything. Faatemah has to be relieved that she probably won't get booted for her awful hairdo with Adee practically inviting them to kick him off. Camila says this is the business, and Adee snaps that it's the business to pick a bad picture. Dude. Xanax. Anger management. Try it. She just finishes that in real life you don't get to choose the picture. Faatemah's girl looks like she's wearing a hat with flowers -- her hair doesn't even look like it's part of her head. She takes full responsibility for it, and clearly knows it's bad. Ken points out that it is much more Roman than Mohican. They try to figure out what she was thinking, and she finally admits she ran out of time, but when she says she also didn't have a good point of reference, Jonathan breaks in and blusters that it's no excuse. I agree, but then again I think they kind of pushed her into making an excuse when before she was happy to just admit it's awful and move on. Incredibly though, back in the salon she changes her tune and says she thinks it looks nice. For the millionth time, folks -- nice isn't the issue, the issue is if you did remotely what you were asked to do.
The judges deliberate -- everyone loves Matthew and Janine's cover and the girl's amazing color. They like but don't love Jon and April's cover, and love Jon's hairdo but Camila can't let go of how rough he was with the model. , Ken gives Adee credit for a beautiful cut, but calls out exactly that he's just trying to prove he's an editorial London stylist with no regard at all for what he's actually been asked to do. Faatemah is knocked for doing an over-the-top hairdo that was both bad and apparently not even finished to her liking. Oh lord, they all love Brig's work. If the floor could open up and swallow both her and Adee this week, I'd do a happy dance. They agree that Amy's hair was fine but boring. Finally, they discuss Brian's hair -- Jonathan has nothing nice to say, and again they point out how dumb it was to not have the feather showing. With that, the stylists are called back in.
Camila says that two teams were clearly above the rest, and those were Brig, who gets a single clap from Jon, and Matthew and Janine; they all clearly loathe being on the podium together. Camila compliments them all, and then names Matthew as the winner. Amazingly, Brig gives him a handshake and what sounds like a sincere congrats. He wins a shot on the Allure Wall of Fame and his pick of model in the short cut challenge.
Adee and Faatemah are then called up as the only team in the bottom this week. They are reminded of their flaws and then made to stew a few moments before she dismisses... FAATEMAH? What the what? Way to encourage Adee's attitude problem, judges. Everyone else is stunned beyond belief. Camila reminds Adee that he's talented but needs to figure out a way to "execute [his] vision." It's only going to get harder, blah blah blah, and remember, "Hair is important." Honestly, worst catchphrase ever. Faatemah gives a really classy exit interview about what a good experience she had, which just goes to show that she was too boring to be on reality TV when they had a Brit with tattoos and an attitude problem who could stir the pot that they could keep around.
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