Nip Slips

S03E01

Brig grabs her So.Cap™ hair extensions and is ready to go. She works in her roller skates and describes how she wants to weave hair into a kind of halter top. Amy's idea sounds nearly as regrettable: she wants to make a bikini top out of braids. Adee's idea was to just have some wisps of hair over his model's nipples, which he imagines will be "really naughty." Janine is trying for giant "sea nymph" hair, while Joey wants his style to stand out and decides to go with brightly colored extensions made into a necklace of sorts. Seriously, any ideas that involve fashioning hair into clothing or jewelry of sorts sounds horrifyingly bad to me, but maybe I'll be happily surprised? Maybe? Anyone? Bueller? Orlando in fact tells Joey to make sure it looks like a hairstyle and not a necklace. The other unfortunate concept that a couple of stylists are trying out is just sticking hair directly on these poor girls' breasts. Adee glues a bit of long blonde hair to each breast, and it winds up looking like she has hairy man-boobs. Orlando tries to diplomatically dissuade him from this course and fortunately Adee agrees that he needs to switch it up, but his solution is to do a "veil" of hair... a hair choker, if you will, where he's taken a line of extensions, which hang from a kind of wire, and tied it around her neck so the hair hangs like a bib.

Jon has his sunglasses back on for the show, so my slight softening towards him for the Speed Racer comment is now totally reversed. Camila comes out and introduces the judges: Jonathan, Kim Vo, and guest judge Monica Wise from L*Space, before reminding everyone that someone is going to be eliminated.

Matthew's model is out first, and she's got a lion's mane of curly hair cascading down and covering everything it should, with some of it on top of her head fashioned into a kind of Mohawk to make the 'do even bigger, and it's great. Faatemah's girl comes out and looks kind of like she just rolled out of bed. Her hair is all messily swept to one side, and there's a braid that comes down and is stuck to her forehead. The hair on her head only covers one breast. So on the other there's what Faatemah calls a beautiful rosette, but what I call a creepy bird's nest. Janine's model comes out and looks fabulous with crazy frizzy-curly hair that covers all her bits, while her bangs are long and straight with a crazy feather-flower-thing over one ear. Ah yes, thus starts my incredibly articulate and precise descriptions of the hairdos this season. But that's what it is! Is it a feather? Is it a flower? Who knows? Who cares, if it rocks? Not me. April's girl has big, beachy, huge long hair that's simple, but gets the job done nicely and goes with the swimsuit. Giacomo's girl also has a giant head of curls, but where Faatemah failed sweeping it to one side he totally nailed it, and he left a big lock falling out on the other side to artfully cover all it should while still looking sexy and fun.