Jaclyn looks much more pleased to see the remaining stylists than one would think after last week. She chastises them gently as she shows off the blank Allure Wall of Fame cover. But she has faith that they'll pick it up this week, so let's get to the guest judge and the short cuts challenge. The guest judge is known as the "kitchen beautician" (everyone tries to look excited) and his name is Robert Hallowell. They need to create a futuristic look that will be judged on its unusual cut, shape and height and must use kitchen products and no normal beauty products to achieve their look. Daniel wistfully declares in his Texas twang, "Bye-bye, hairspray!" Robert unveils the products they can use, which at first glance include anchovies and caramel. Robert tells them that they'll be saving the environment by using these instead of hairspray and all its horrible chemicals, concluding that they'll look great and be green. Green is what I'd be if I had to smell a combo of caramel and anchovies sitting in my hair. The scissor boxes are chosen to pick clients and products. Nekisa is number one, then Paulo, Charlie, Nicole, Dee and finally Daniel. He's worried about his client's thin hair but has a secret plan including Velcro rollers that he's sure no one else will use. Yes, Velcro rollers are a quite newfangled idea and I'm sure no stylist is aware of their existence.
Product-choosing time. Nekisa picks molasses and mustard while she makes some remark about the jar of anchovies resembling Charlie's insides. Yes, the insult makes no sense, much like her continued presence on this show. Charlie snaps back at her but I'm choosing to ignore the whole thing in hopes that if I do, she'll disappear. Paulo gets corn syrup and coconut oil. Charlie gets flour and sea salt to accentuate the really big shape he wants to create. Nicole gets caramel and sugar while Charlie explains that she's sensitive to smells and might vomit. I don't know how anyone that sensitive to smells could survive even in a normal salon with all the chemicals and whatnot wafting through the air, but she must make it through somehow. Dee gets egg whites and butter to use as gel and shaping cream, respectively. Daniel then gets avocado and peanut butter and declares he's taking a risk because peanut butter makes him gag and vomit. I think with that statement, our beautiful love affair just came to a tragic end because I can't envision a life without peanut butter. Goodbye, Daniel my love -- we were beautiful while we lasted!
They get 45 minutes to work. Hairstyles are described as an octopus attacking the head and an outer-space goddess. Nekisa says something boring about her style and insults Nicole, which is an interesting decision since Nicole has styled rings around her thus far. Paulo gets some crazy eyes as he's excitedly describing his style -- this is made for him. And Nicole is putting squid in her client's hair. Poor Robert seems a little disappointed that the products are being used more as gimmicks than as actual styling aids. And over it all, the stylists fight with one another but yet I can't be bothered to describe any of it because it's all so juvenile that it's boring. How sad.
Paulo's client has her curls piled on top of her head and a bunch of purple teased puffs worked in and all held in place with corn syrup. Daniel's client has an updo with red and blonde pieces held in place with Velcro rollers and peanut butter. He added two decorative beets in the back. Charlie's client is a massive teased updo, Dee's client has a really boring Japanese-inspired-do that's a few different ponytails and shellacked strands falling into her face. Nekisa did a giant teased updo colored with mustard and left molasses dripping down her cheekbones. Nicole took the squid out of her clients' hair and was left with a very boring, big updo with a couple of berries thrown in. It looks completely half-done. Robert names her as the loser of the challenge, which even Nicole expected. The top three were Paulo, Daniel and Dee... wait, what? But thank goodness, she doesn't win -- Paulo does and classily does some celebratory groin thrusts. Daniel compliments him but then mentions how Paulo's client had much easier hair for the challenge. Daniel, honey, seriously -- don't make me turn on you completely. I need you to freak out over minor celebrities, make love to your hairspray, and create entertaining hair. Just stick to those three things. Paulo will get first pick of client in the challenge and also one other advantage. (Why, will that be picking the order that everyone else chooses their client?)
Back at home there's a lot of ridiculous bickering and Daniel explains that Nekisa hates Nicole, Nicole hates Dee, and Dee hates Charlie. So basically, everyone hates anyone else who is more talented than they are. Thank goodness, though, the bickering is cut short and we move on to the day of the challenge. Everyone gathers in the park and Rene points out their clients -- women walking towards them with their dogs. The dogs are their clients for the challenge. Okay, so I love a funny gimmick as much as anyone but come ON, show. How on earth is cutting dogs' hair even relevant to being a stylist? If Nekisa does well just because she owns a dog, I'm going to stick some styling shears in my neck. Paulo gets first choice and, as predicted, will then name the order in which everyone else picks their dog. He picks a little grey dog in an argyle sweater. As much as he's out of his comfort zone, he's too cute holding the tiny little dog with his legs sticking out. While I find dogs positively cute and lovable, I'm going to be no good at guessing the breeds so I'll just give the order in which the stylists pick and describe the styling after that. I mean, they're all small-ish dogs with a little bit of length in their fur and I'll call them if I know them. is Nicole (Yorkiepoo), then Nekisa, Charlie, Dee (Pomeranian), and Daniel. Rene declares that the dogs can't walk the runway on their own, but we go to commercial before we can find out what on earth that comment could possibly mean.
Why, it means that they have to give their dog's owner a cut and style inspired by the dog! It's really for the best, as this isn't Dog-Grooming Genius. The motley crew then heads back to the salon, which has been stocked with dog products as well as human products and they are given 2 1/2 hours to work. Dee is going to give her client an edgy look to go with her dog's "cool, funky" tail. Daniel is going with something higher in the middle and tighter on the sides -- so, the same as usual. Nicole is going with fun layers and highlights to match her dog. Rene then comes over and points out that the dog has short hair, so Nicole decides to take her client's hair much shorter (as her client says to make sure some of it stays below her shoulders). Charlie cuts his dog's hair first and says that as the dog has a puffy, round head, he's going to do the same thing on her hair. Shockingly, she doesn't run out the door upon hearing this description, which to me sounds like a living nightmare. Okay, I can still hate Nekisa but absolutely love that the dog she picked is named "Waffles," right? She didn't name the dog. She's going to give the dog bangs to match his mom. I hate to say it, but my usual hatred just can't stay as strong only because they keep showing little tails wagging during these haircuts, and it's just about the cutest, most heartwarming scene ever. That said, this better be the last week I have to watch this woman on my TV. Rene all but orders Nekisa to do some color, and she then interviews that she decided to do a color, mentioning nothing about how it wasn't her idea whatsoever. HATE.
Daniel sings to his dog, Lola, and he and I are now back in beautiful love because he makes up a verse about her "beautiful heiny." As someone who can sing an entire song to her cat wherein she names him "Stinky Britches" just because it's fun to say, I am deeply amused. Paulo admits that if his score is based on his dog's haircut, he's going to be out. But he shouldn't worry too much, as Nekisa's dog haircut is a hot mess, and she's all pissed at Rene for pointing it out. Charlie admits that Dee is his biggest competition and tells Rene that she's great, but she's also a bitch. Dee grumbles and acts overly nonchalant about how that means he's just insecure. No, honey, he's trying to get airtime on a reality TV show, but I don't think he's insecure. Over in another corner of the salon, Nekisa's client hates her hairdo. It's pretty awesome to see Nekisa try and explain that away. (She can't.) Finally, Daniel put some extra hair onto his dog, claiming that it's "LA perfection." I have seen many, many things here in LA, but a dog with a hairpiece is not one of those things.
Jaclyn introduces Kim, Kelly, and the guest judge -- celebrity dog trainer Jennifer McCarthy. She has a look on her face that seems to indicate, "Yeah, I'm not quite sure why I'm really here either, but sure." And it's time for the hair show! Charlie's clients are first; the little white dog has a trim and is cute and fuzzy, and his client's dark hair is thrown into a messy updo. It looks like he could have done this in five minutes, and though he claims her hair is the same texture as the dog's... he's wrong. Paulo's dog has grey, curly hair, and yet his client's hair has been flat-ironed to death. It's brown on top and bleached on the tips, and while the dog's hair goes a bit from darker to lighter grey, it's a mess. There is none of the "same texture" to which he keeps referring. Nekisa's dog has caramel-colored curly hair that has been trimmed and pulled into a little pouf on top of his head. She cut her client's hair, which is shoulder-length with bangs, straight, and has some garish blonde highlights on top. She claims it's different from everyone else's cuts and dogs but I say that the cut and the dog are just different from each other. Nicole actually did a pretty good job -- her dog has golden-ish hair that's a bit on the long side, and she cut her client's hair into a sort of bob with a lot of golden highlights. All in all, they go together while leaving both dog and woman looking nice and natural. Dee also did a pretty good job -- her client's hair was bobbed and given a bit of volume and highlights that did in fact match her Pomeranian's tail. Daniel pulled his client's hair into a bun but loose enough to still see her curls, which match her dog's in texture and color. The extensions in the dog's hair are falling over a bit, though.
All of the clients and dogs are brought out and each explains what they did, and Daniel is up first. Kim comes up close and greets the excited dog, and then checks out the owner's hair up close. Jennifer thinks he incorporated the looks of owner and dog well, and Kelly appreciates that he kept it looking soft. Nekisa goes into a lengthy description of what she did and concludes that dog and owner now look the same, but Kim calls her out on the fact that they actually look nothing alike. Jennifer also sees no correlation and while Nekisa says she did a ton of cutting, everyone is skeptical. Paulo says that he played on shapes and made the owner's hair looking like the dog's ears. Kim, in his way, manages to cheerfully rip on both Paulo's color and cut and while Paulo admits he'd do it a bit differently, I don't think it's enough to appease Kim, even though you'd never know it from his grin. Dee explains that she wanted the hair to match the tail of the dog, and they love it. Kelly compliments her on giving her brunette client warm color without making her hair stripey -- a clear knock on some of the other contestants who rely on stripes as their major color plan. As Charlie gives his description, Jaclyn and Kim share a laugh and Kim then tells Charlie that he achieved both "matronly" and "crazy" with his client's hair. Kim asks him if he was into this challenge and when he says no, we're shown shocked looks from Kelly as well as from Charlie's doggie client. His human client admits the hairdo was a drastic change, and it doesn't sound like a good thing from the tone in her voice. Nicole then describes the 17 inches that she took off, and even though Kim says it's a bit stripey, the client clearly loves it. She gets knocked for taking too much fur off around the dog's face but all in all, it seems kind of like a comment put in to even the playing field for us viewers.
In deliberations, all the regulars love Daniel's 'dos, even though Jennifer found it a bit too '80s. To my incredible joy, they hate Nekisa's hairdos and agree that the woman looked better before. Paulo's hairdo is described both as looking like it was done with a weed-whacker and like a mullet. Everyone loved Dee's client's cut with just a few gripes about the dog's cut. No one even got Charlie's cut and Jennifer pretty accurately says it seemed like Charlie thought he was better than this challenge. Finally, while Kim would have blended the color a bit more and Jennifer would have left a bit more on the dog, they all pretty much liked Nicole's work this week. And, that said, they have a decision.
Daniel and Dee are called forward as the favorites, while Charlie and Nekisa try to kill them with their eyes. After Jaclyn draws out the suspense, she announces that Dee is the winner. Then she calls up Charlie, Paulo and Nekisa as the bottom three. Seriously, if Nekisa makes it through this then I'm drinking a bottle of hairspray.
Charlie is called out for his heart not being in it, but he fully admits that he's not there to do dog haircuts even though he loves dogs. Jaclyn doesn't make him wait too long -- he's safe. After reviewing the two remaining horrible styles... Paulo is declared safe, the angels sing, and my insides are spared from a sticky fate as Nekisa is sent home! She takes it much better than I expected her to, with no back talk whatsoever! Jaclyn tells the remaining five to be smarter and take risks and then dismisses them for the evening. Back at the salon, Nekisa packs up her tools as she tells us she learned how to be tough and focused, and she's proud of herself. She wraps it up by telling Waffles that he got her kicked off the show. Now, don't blame the darling dog, Nekisa -- it was your horrifically shitty styling that got you kicked off the show. Good luck actually finding any clients who ever watched a single episode this season.
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