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When Kev and Veronica decide to call off the wedding, her mom tells them about a mysterious sum V's dad left her for her wedding day, so of course it's back on. Since they can't legally get married without Kevin taking the hit for being a bigamist, the trick is to fake the perfect wedding and then just never file the certificate. Fiona's big idea is to get ordained so she can perform the ceremony, but mom's got other ideas; Lip comes to the rescue as usual, by putting Carl in the snatches of a pedo long enough to get some blackmailable offenses -- and the priest brained with a censer, awesomely -- on record.
Kash's wife takes the boys on a Scouting trip, so Kash invites Ian home for a weekend of fake domesticity -- but being surrounded by all of the stuff that comes from being married with kids makes Kash's marriage real in a way Ian wasn't expecting, and he sort of loses some marbles about that. Luckily his beard Mandy Milkovich is more than willing to cheer him up.
Sheila makes the dress, and matching outfits for herself and Frank to wear to the wedding (which is at Kev's bar), but of course she ends up once again unable to leave, and once again it is totally sad. But you also see a bit more of Eddie's part in all that, because boy does he love how fucked up Sheila is. Meanwhile Frank's got a third testicle which, it turns out, is a benign growth. So if you ever wanted to hear William H. Macy say the word testicle like a million times, let me tell you you're in luck.
Fiona once again gets pushed into some kind of contrived Tony/Steve thing like she has to choose, which only flies because of the acting and not because of how balls-out shallow that whole storyline is. Tony has become in the last week, if possible, even dreamier; Steve continues to be adorable, and even gives Fiona a taste of his illegal lifestyle with some very sexy Bonnie & Clyde shenanigans.
After a bunch of bachelor night fun -- all in "we're adorable" snapshot mode -- the groups gather for the wedding. But what's this? Veronica's bipolar firebug brother Marty, who has Tourette's, a hatred of women and a penchant for setting everything ablaze. A touching scene between V and Marty almost seems out of character for the show, until Fiona jumps out of nowhere and tranquilizes him. Marty eventually gets free, and we end the episode with him hiding out in the bar bathroom, draped in toilet paper like a mummy, lighting a match. Boom!
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Fiona and Veronica, they're both dressed up like sexy spies so they can go to a public bathroom and take the paper towel dispensers apart and steal paper products. Also the seat covers, for some reason, even though Gallaghers don't even wash their hands after.
(God love Emmy but Fiona's always troubled accent gets a real workout here. She talks like Eliza Duskhu on Buffy sometimes, for the same lack of any reason for doing so: "My character talks like a streetwise gum-cracker from Povertytown. It's right between Boston and Philadelphia." But your show is set in Chicago. "You talkin' to me?")
So V is admitting that she was not even thinking about marriage until Kev's drunken -- she compares it to Hasslehoff's hamburger -- proposal, and since Fiona's the only one who knows his secret she's like, "Is that really the story you want to tell your grandkids? The people of tomorrow's tomorrow?" No, but before they can get into it a lady in the stall tells about how great her proposal was -- Sears Tower, champagne, roses -- but in six months he was fucking her sister. V asks why she's telling them this story, what is the moral of this story, and the awesome lady shrugs: "My sister's a bitch."
Fiona succeeds in putting enough of the doubt in V's brain -- "other than the presents and the booze, give me three good reasons" and "the way things are between you and Kevin right now seems perfect" -- that she's being a good friend. I mean, the actual Kev issue is not her business and there's not really another way to get them talking. It's not entirely fake but it does sort of take the long way around, morally speaking, to clue Veronica in on the entire story. Because while a drunk proposal is questionable, what's going on right now is practically cheating: She thinks she's been talked into marriage, and he's holding very tight to the entire secret. Which has a time limit on it.
Frank's at the free clinic for his disability checkup, and of course he's harassing everybody about their disabilities and assuming they're all gross liars like him. He laughs in the face of one neck-braced guy because they get the same amount of benefits and all Frank has to do is claim he gets migraines. (Which, part of the joke on this show is that they all have different jobs every week and all that, but how do you get migraines from a chicken carcass to the abdomen? Is he pulling multiple disability checks? Yeah, probably.) Anyway, nobody enjoys his company because he is the worst, and never moreso than when he's feeling chipper and friendly. Even in the sad free clinic, surrounded by social security people, he's still just a total downer.
Word for word, Veronica presents Fiona's doubts about their wedding. He's like, "Is this a Woman Test where I have to say the right thing?" which V points out is an automatic F if it were, and he wonders about what they would tell people, and she's like, "The wedding is off has a certain ring to it," but then she remembers that she's going to have to tell her mom, which is going to be horrible, and also that now she will not be getting a KitchenAid, so of course the only solution is fucking.
But yeah, I have often thought that would be a good enough reason to get married, so I'm feeling your pain, V. They're just so... Pretty. And weighty. Just looking at it, you know you're doing more than just simple mixing. You are cooking the shit out of a meal when you get the KA involved. I feel about them the way Debbie feels about old people and babies. What color would you want? Cobalt blue is classic, you're right. But the red is very, very shiny. I am saving the red KitchenAid for a personal reward once I solve at least half of my 99 problems. I will name it "Iorek Byrnison" and I will finally figure out what a pastry hook is for. I will hook some pastry all night long, baby.
Mama shows up at the door all "Here comes the bride!" and does some screaming of "I can't believe it!" that turns moments later into a different kind of "I can't believe it!" once they dry-run the cancellation on her. Of course she's like, "How could you do this to me?" and Kev makes the mistake of calling her Mama and it's all going south, so he tries this whole "until gay people can get married" thing, which... I will never have to make that call, and Lord knows I love me a wedding, but I think if I were straight I would totally refuse to get married on that basis. Even now, speaking as a veritable ticking timebomb of marital energy, I still think the whole thing's a little tacky. It's not enough to wait until we can, if you see what I'm saying: I want to wait until it absolutely does not matter.
Mama's all, "This isn't what your father wants!" and V reminds her that Daddy's dead and thus wants for very little, but Mama's unconvinced. Seems he set aside "a little something" for that special day. Things change and flip back to normal very fast, of course, because now it's not just the marriage but the home, maybe, and V is close to locking down normal forever. Of course, Kev knows there's still a hitch, so when he starts jerking at his collar and getting hives it looks like a joke from the 1970s but actually has nothing to do with cold feet. Which is a neat thing about this episode: Kev has no doubts about V, it's just this other thing, so he keeps acting like a nervous groom when the groom part is actually something he has no nerves about. You know?
One of Fiona's jobs is peeing. She pees for a friend with a government job, and this Sonny supplies her with tasty lasagna in return: It's still warm, the friend says, and Fiona hands over the pee: "So's this!" Everybody comes running for their "piss food" treat, and V shows up to take Deb to Target so they can register. They give you a little gun and you just shoot the things, it's like hunting but you don't need a license. Fiona wonders if Kev knows the marriage is back on, and V says yes and then, tastefully, "You tell that girl Sonny I will crap on a paper plate for her if it'll get me some of this grub!" I'll be sure and do that. time we're having High Tea, I will mention that.
Frank's got three balls, which he finds not only unremarkable but also strangely irrelevant to his migraines. The doc -- Mac's Mom from Sunny, always a charmer -- tells him to come back for a biopsy tomorrow, but Frank's just like, "He's my lucky charm! Gave me six kids!" The more we talk about Frank's balls the harder it is not to picture them. Like the show is whispering in your ear, Old Man Scrotum.
Fiona comes to the bar with Liam and Kev cutely is all, "Uh pretty sure you can't bring a baby into a bar, ma'am," and she reminds him you can't marry a buncha ladies either. And since her plan of pulling V off-course somehow didn't work, she's there to work the other end: Why doesn't V know? It's sweet, actually: "I'm afraid to tell her. I don't want to make her sad, Fi. It would break my heart to hurt her!" I mean, grow up, but that's very sweet and very, as it turns out, Kev. Fiona threatens to tell V herself, and then asks for some bottle milk from behind the bar. Always working it, our Fiona.
"The devil's in my balls, Billy, and he's comin' for the rest of me!" Fiona snarks at Frank and takes off, and Frank asks this Billy why it's always him. "Because you're an asshole, Frank." Allusions to that time Lance Armstrong gave Sheryl Crow cancer, and then V shows up all about how she wants to buy Old Man Parson's house. "You know, the one where the son went crazy and hit him with an axe?" She's all, we have to have things like credit scores and stuff, and finally he just takes her into the corner and says he can't marry her. Her face goes very, very sad, and you can see why he didn't want to say. "I'm already married," he says, and he's really sad, and it's tough.
But then they're at home and she's looking at the wedding pictures, an
d all V can say is, "She's beautiful." It's like, there's no question about what's going to happen or what kind of fight they get to have about it, because V's not like that. It's just like, "What are Team Kev & V going to do about this?" They are awesome. The story is that the wife is nuts and a drunk and used to throw plates at him, and he has these scars, and he always wanted to tell her but eventually it just seemed like a horrible dream because he was so young. "Look like a douchebag with that mullet," she says, and it's as close to yelling at him as she's going to get. I don't know why I assumed it would get trashy, I guess I just should be a more trusting person, but either way it's neat.
Later they're hanging out on a porch somewhere upstairs with Fiona, and she comes up with the idea of getting ordained online and doing the marriage herself, because then they can have the wedding and be married, but not married-married, because she'll just forget to file the license, and it won't get flagged. Brilliant Fiona. V's so excited about this that she nearly falls off the railing onto her head, and they all crack up about how bad that would have sucked: "Showing up at your wedding fucking paralyzed and shit?"
Frank's not too worried about the biopsy until Sheila breaks down about it, and Eddie's carrying like a giant cross around the house because his Bible Study group is doing the Passion and whatever, and then when he's gone creepy Sheila leans down and goes, "I have two plots at Oak Woods Cemetery. One was for Eddie. Nothing would make me happier than to bury you in one of them." I hear ya, sister. "Wait there for me," she whispers into his ear and it's so fucking creepy that right then, he decides he's going to die.
Mama's got this preacher who married like their entire family and says crap like, "A cleft palate is merely the mark God leaves when he kisses a person before they're born," which even Mama laughs about ("That girl's mama just skipped the folic acid!"), and then he starts talking about taking them on one of those encounter weekends so they can get right with God or whatever, make sure they're ready, and with barely a look at each other both Kev and V pull on their jackets as a team and go outside to talk about this latest thing.
Veronica thinks it would be hot to fuck at a "church outing," but Kevin reminds her that he's not going to do without the license, so that makes Kevin a felon, and they go back in to say they've already got somebody to perform the wedding. "Is this some kind of healing hands voodoo wheat grass jackass?" she asks, which is just amazing. Anyway, no, that is not happening. Real priest. Even one who says scary crap like, "Just like the honeybee, God has many eyes." And once again, Mama drops the whole father card, reminding Veronica of what's at stake.
Back at the Gallaghers' they are trying to think up the solution. Lip informs everybody that Sheila wants to make the dress, and that's touching and all, but priest first. Debbie suggests an actor, like the guy who played Elmo at her birthday party, and for once her acting is not completely great, heading into sitcommy precocity with what is admittedly a sitcom-precocious line: "He took his head off. It was traumatizing." Lip suggests taking Carl to see Father Pete the Groper, in the hopes of getting him to go pedo on them, and then Carl walks in with a goldfish in a glass jar, headed for the microwave, and when he catches everybody staring at him he gives the most amazing What.
Ian's late to work at Kash & Grab because he was just made ROTC Cadet Lieutenant Colonel, and as usual Kash's wife is brisk but not unfriendly -- she's gotta take the boys on a Boy Scout trip. Ian's intrigued by the idea of Muslim Boy Scouts, and as usual Linda is not amused by Kash's terrorist jokes ("you learn how to work with chemicals instead of tying knots"), and anyway she's just like, the Troop is sponsored by a Baptist church and so we get to do fun stuff and they get to think we're assimilating. She takes off and Kash is so proud of his Lieutenant Colonel in his little outfit, and then of course you have the whole thing where his family is going to be gone for two nights and they can play house. And who among us hasn't dreamed of that day, the sheer romance, when you finally get to take your underage boyfriend to be a tourist in your married life. It's just like "Norwegian Wood," except with statutory rape.
Which, there's always something lost in translation between the UK and the US with TV shows because the fight about gay things is a little different there, like, a lot of it is centered on age of consent and we don't really stigmatize it in that specific way, which in some ways is lots more respectful -- and cerebral -- than how we do it here, but also comes from a whole long history that we don't really have here either. Our ancestors got out of there before any of this mattered, so we don't have it in our civic DNA to worry as much about comparative ages of consent.
I mean, the end result is the same if you're on the other side of it -- I will use any legal or legislative excuse to make you feel shitty about yourself, because I fear I may myself be gay -- but the reason there's so much of this NAMBLA age stuff on British TV, and never over here (unless it's to prove how completely vile the character is), is because those are the terms in which the fight is fought. It's a part of the conversation you might never know about. Something to consider, and remember, when watching British TV.
The nurse, a pretty young thing, accidentally opens the exam room door onto Frank's crotch, and then makes sure he is undamaged, and then shaves his nutsack a little bit. If you're not shaving the whole thing, how do you know which nut? Actually, how do you know period which one to biopsy? Because the only thing worse than having to think about William H. Macy's scrotum -- and I mean no disrespect, he's not an unattractive fellow and a beloved person of his generation -- is thinking about what if he had three nuts and one of them was deformed enough that you could just tell. Man, balls are the weirdest thing of life.
"You don't have to go too crazy here Sheila [heh], but as close to Vera Wang as you can get." Sheila says how pretty she's going to be, and Veronica feels like Cinderella, and Karen is off. "Screw Cinderella, little doe-eyed bitch. Probably one of the worst role models for little girls." Sheila thinks Cinderella was a feminist, which I guess you could make that point -- since the whole thing is about using disguises and showmanship to highlight the value that was always already there, "magic's in the makeup" etc. -- but Karen's not feeling all that third-wave today.
"The whole idea of marriage is a useless vestige of an archaic civilization." True. They ask how she knows that, besides common sense, and Karen pointedly goes, "I watched one unravel?" Which really has nothing to do with the point, but this whole scene is weird because Karen keeps saying pretty obvious stuff and then getting sidetracked by non sequiturs, like, she points out that in olden tymes marriage was a contract exchanging women for property, and this point is defeated by Fiona going, "You're being a little pessimistic!" It's hard to take seriously a conversation that nobody is actually having; it's just straw men and women. Karen points out that it's just a piece of paper, and Debbie natters on about how the same thing is true of birth certificates and money, and everybody congratulates her on winning that debate, and just in case you thought this conversation had any actual merit, Veronica goes, "Hey Gloria Steinem, enough of the blah-blah."
God, if only somebody'd said that sixty years ago, am I right? Ladies?
...Ladies?
Frank's at a survivor meeting and of course takes it over and I guess cancer can be funny if you don't know what you're talking about.
Lip and Ian take Carl to the church to be molested, and Lip is harassing Ian about his date night -- "Ooh, Mandy date or Kash date?" -- and calling him a slut, and then they hear Carl beating the shit out of the priest with a censer, so now we have a priest. Yay! A kid-fucking one.
Which again, maybe this just isn't the week for whatever reason, but cancer and the RCC's approval of institutionalized rape are just not funny to me right now. Maybe time. I'll think up a whole bunch of rape jokes and dead-mom jokes this week and have them ready by Tuesday, I promise.
Steve asks if this isn't all just "like lying to God's face," and Fiona laughs at him because they're in a stolen car as he says this. "It's not like I have a priest in the back," he shrugs, and she confirms that he's going to be picking up the wedding cake for his part. Then an awkwardly written transition to a handjob, which is sadly cut short before it even starts by the cops pulling over the stolen car, but of course it's Tony. Who looks, as usual, dapper and fine. Fiona's super sweet with him, and he's coming to the wedding... But he still wants to run Steve's stuff.
Steve hands over fake ID and cops to having no registration onhand, and Tony is sort of policey about it, and then while he's gone she's like fuck fuck fuck so he calls up Jesus on the phone and somewhere a few streets away there are some gunshots and Tony has to take off, tossing the fake ID through the window. Apparently Jesus was behind them in a "follow car" during the theft, and now will be coming back for the car later... As soon as Steve can pry off the plates and toss them in a mailbox and push Fiona up against a pillar of the El and make out with her so hardcore because of the adrenaline, and then even awesomer run away into the night, leaving her panting and breathless and shameless.
That's so true, though. It's like that old story about the footsteps and Jesus is like, "That was me all along, helping you boost that Mercedes."
At the Alibi, Frank is having trouble shutting up and going from maudlin to rageful to crazy to pointless like a zoetrope of boring, and then Kev's friend shows up with bachelor party stuff and Kev is forced to invite Frank along. They will all be wearing giant wigs, which will contribute: Drollness. (And if you ever start thinking we're hitting our post-racial stride, I suggest you Google Image search "giant afro," because it will make you very tired and more than a little sick.)
Ian's in Kash's house for about five seconds before the meltdown. Pictures of the wife and her headscarves, the boys in the uniforms, and all the art on the walls is words because of how that whole thing works, and it's all just too much. Plus, and thanks for that, Ian, "It smells like goats in here!" But I mean, have some common sense before you just stick a person in the middle of your married life. What didn't feel like cheating before sure as fuck is cheating now.
Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties, as depicted in a host of snapshots: Girls on poles, girls that can get their legs behind their ears, girl-on-girl smooches... And that's just V's party. The boy party is mostly Frank being horrible all over Chicago. But they do look pretty real, all things considered. The girls run into Frank, heading home, and he's got the wig and his face is all torn up and he's dragging bungee cords behind him which were apparently just a smidge too long. Maybe this has something to do with his Bucket List whining before the party, but he didn't die unfortunately, so mostly it's just a chance to laugh at him some more.
Kev's got the wig, about five dicks drawn on his face, and a nasty case of the blurgs when he hears an intruder and goes out with like some hairspray to take him down. It's a huge black man! Oh, it's Veronica's brother Marty, so it's fine. They head over to Fiona's and she's like, "I'm the maid of honor at your fake wedding and I didn't even know you had a brother?" There are a host of reasons for that: Until last night he was in prison for aggravated assault, larceny and arson. ("Is that like a sibling-brother, or just a black-guy brother?" asks Lip, which I guess is funny but nobody would ever actually say except someone on a Showtime show. The Kevin Nealon factor.)
Luckily: "You remember the fire at the Curves in the mini mall? That was him. He loves setting fire to things and he hates women, it was the Perfect Storm." Ha! That is great. Kev starts saying about how fucked up he is, like one time he was drinking a beer and here comes Marty, all ass cunt fuck and this, by which Fiona's confused: "Is he retarded?" No, he's got Tourette's, coupled with bipolar disorder and a drinking problem. "He's a shrink's wet dream," V says, and vows to kick his ass all the way back to prison: "If there's one person you can always count on to really fuck things up, it's Marty."
The doctor tells Frank the biopsy was negative, but then jokes around that his bungee injury will probably kill him. "I'm fuckin' with you. The bump looks pretty superficial, but if you vomit more than twice, have any seizures, or experience memory loss, call 911." He says some charming shit about "what if I vomit while I'm having a seizure and have no memory of it," and the doctor -- awesomely -- goes, "Tree in the forest, my friend." No fucking kidding. I wish she would come back every week just so we know how lame Frank is.
V tries to talk Marty into going back to jail, and he argues and yells swears all the time, because that's how Tourette's works, it's hilarious and harmless, and he's just like, "I don't wanna miss your wedding day!" I hope something terrible doesn't go on there.
"This is the dress that I will wear this afternoon. And it will protect me, like this house protects me. This is the dress. And today is the day. And the day is good."
Oh, Sheila. Joan Cusack was, in some ways I think, born for this role. It's just so fucking sad and real and honest and powerful and ridiculous. Eddie, this is the first sense we've gotten of how implicated he is in all this shit: "You look nice. Where are you pretending to go?" She ignores him. "I'm going to a wedding today. I am really gonna do it this time. And it's supposed to be a beautiful day today. Beautiful, and safe, and sunny..." Eddie scoffs and reminds her that the sun's just a burning ball of fire that could plunge from the sky at any time, and that's how you know it's okay to fucking hate Eddie.
Lounging on the bed with Kev, Fiona wonders if maybe Marty should come after all, and Veronica does an unkind impression of all the ways he could fuck it up, which of course Marty overhears, so he takes the wedding dress -- which really is gorgeous -- into the bathroom, along with a fireplace lighter. "It's a real pretty dress, Roni! It'll burn nicely, with all this taffeta! You send me back to jail, this dress goes up! This house goes up! We all go up!"
I am usually charmed by arsonists, but even in comparison there's just something about the way he speaks that I really enjoy. "It'll burn nicely!" I just love that. Later, they've got Debbie up a ladder staring in at him watching him flick the lighter on and off, wondering what to do, and Veronica refuses to call the cops because that's what they're like on this show, and she wails about how he's always been like this, center of attention stuff: "This is what he did at Granddaddy's funeral. Gutted out half the hospice!" Burning hospices are not funny, Jacob. Stop laughing, Jacob. Anyway, what to do? Mourn the public healthcare in our country, I suppose. (Stop!)
"All I wanted was to own my own home, and maybe some small kitchen appliances." Aww. Marty's still barricaded and they're just sitting around being sad and wondering what to do. V admits that, though she hates other people's kids (obviously the Gallaghers are not in that category) she was looking forward maybe to kids. "A little Tomorrow Person!" Kev says. "That's what I call little mixed-race babies: Tomorrow People. Little People Of
Tomorrow!"
Which, something about the term "mixed-race" always makes my left eyelid twitch a little bit -- Like, can you believe that used to be this huge thing? Can you believe there were entire centuries of people that existed before Sidney Poitier was even alive? -- but he only clipped that mailbox coming into the driveway of somewhere amazing and sweet, so... Fine. And you can actually see Veronica make the exact same call: Is it worth explaining why that is offensive, and then not offensive, and then offensive again, but then you end up at okay? No. No it's not worth it, and no he wouldn't get it anyway: Tomorrow People it is.
Mandy's not entirely happy with the surprise of Ian taking off another afternoon to be with Kash, considering he did the same thing yesterday, and Ian tries to explain: "I mean, I always knew he had a wife, and a life, and everything, but seeing it? And smelling it? I mean his life actually has an odor." There are boys around the corner but I don't think that's entirely why Mandy kisses him at that moment. "Just felt like kissing my boyfriend," she grins, and takes off. "Have fun fucking Kash!" Mandy Milkovich, you make my heart sing.
V hangs outside the bathroom and gives a long, sweet speech about how she always let Marty tag along with her because she was the big little sister and wanted to make sure he was okay, and that by the same token it wouldn't be a real wedding without her little big brother there, so can he give her away at the wedding? He finally comes out, and it's super sweet and a little sad because he's suspicious... And then very sad, because he had every reason to be, and Fiona jams a hypo in his thigh and then he's down for the count, spitting swears all the way. They handcuff his hands around the toilet, which for some reason made me feel claustrophobic, and they're off.
Lip shows up at Sheila's to pick up Karen, who A) Looks amazing and B) Isn't pulling any of that Lolita shit this week, and of course Frank tries to be all, "My boy, my oldest boy," and of course Lip isn't interested. Frank's wearing a fabulously floral vest that matches Sheila's dress -- very like 1985 neon cabbage-roses kind of a thing -- and Sheila is looking almost so uncool she's cool, and they watch her walk to the door -- Eddie talking shit as she goes -- and she says, "I've got my purse, and my gift, and my gloves, and my selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitor, and my monoamine oxidase inhibitor. I have my anti-anxiety disco biscuits. And I am ready to go. I am really ready."
She is not, of course, and it's brutally sad -- although props for "disco biscuit" because it reminds me of my third-favorite song from 2010 and also is not a term I'd heard much before that -- and finally Karen breaks the silence by offering to bring her back a slice of cake. She thanks her daughter, desperately, and wanders slowly back up the stairs to be ashamed of herself in private. Kills me every time.
As Marty's waking up, chained to the toilet -- and, laughing hysterically, throwing his feet back over his head to shove the toilet away from the wall in a way that looks absurdly uncomfortable -- they do the wedding. At the Alibi, of course. Afterward, Frank gives a speech that manages to be mostly about his balls, and then finally Mama produces the mysterious envelope... Which contains like a US Bond or something for $500. Of course, they're too happy now to do much more than laugh and kiss, and kiss, and kiss.
Later, they're still wondering where the cake is, and V can tell Fiona's stressing about Steve's whole thing: "That's the trouble with the exciting ones. The unpredictability is what makes them so exciting but it's also what makes them so damned unpredictable." She points out Tony, who's at least there, but I don't think Fiona has to wait too long before Steve shows up after all.
And back home, Sheila's watching Princess Di's wedding, probably not for the first time, and it's just as real as the wedding she was planning to see today. "She was a real princess," Sheila sighs, and looks over at Eddie. "Yeah, well, she's dead now. How's that for happily ever after?" And almost as though it had never occurred to her before, but irksome especially now that she'd convinced herself Frank was dying, she looks over at her husband with the sternest look on her face: "Asshole."
But at the party: People dancing, fighting about the Bible, Mama wishing "little Marty" were there to see the wedding, everybody taking family photos, some of that white-people dancing they do on this show but not much of it, Mama Fisher being pretty awesome, Debbie talking to one of the legs-behind-the-ears girls about maybe not giving away the milk for free... And Lip and Karen are in the bathroom fucking like teenagers, and who's that sitting in the stall to them, gibbering to himself, wrapping himself like a mummy in toilet paper, smiling madly as he lights the first match? Oh yeah.
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