Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Loser Goes to Gitmo
By Jacob Clifton | Season 1 | Episode 4 | Aired on 01.30.2011
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Fresh from the pain of losing her Aunt Ginger for the second time, Deb starts acting up. Of course, it's Debbie, so that means she's trying to cook and help everybody to death, but since nobody really cares -- the water heater's busted, for starters -- she eventually goes out to the street and comes back with a little boy, whom she has stolen and dressed like a little girl. Steve and Fiona then have to get the whole family involved in a very complicated, maybe pointlessly complicated, British heist movie to get the baby home without anybody getting arrested.
It's cute, and Debbie is fabulous (and fabulously crazy), and the only chance you have of seeing the rest of the kids. In the end, Fiona apologizes (technically) to Dreamboat Tony for standing him and his mom up last week. Debbie proves she's not only a great liar but more than likely a sociopath, and Steve buys her a new baby doll which she promptly names "Gingy" before getting Velveteen Rabbit on her to a scary degree. ("Oh, Gingy! You're so funny!")
Oh, and she uses the reward money she gets from the eponymous kid's parents to replace the water heater, which is also adorable. Steve -- and his slice-of-hip Tyler Durden outfits, which: yes -- are ever closer to being a part of Fiona's single-momhood, but I think the only reason she didn't notice that this week and put a stop to it is because of the baby she had to unkidnap.
Meanwhile, Karen's clown-obsessed Dad moves back into Sheila's house, which means he's sharing a bathroom with Frank while living in their basement. To prove some understandable but scary adolescent point, Karen starts giving gross Frank Gallagher the full-court press, including tweener nipples and squeaky bathtime horrors. I give him until next week; meantime he'll just be making annoying nonsensical Teabagger speeches as per usual. Sheila's taking more of her medication than usual, making too many muffins to fit in the house, and spending her time generally doing a scary, hilarious dance right on the line between okay and hospital time.
And we finally get an inkling of the reason for Kev's existence, much less why Veronica likes him, after Frank's drunk ass sends the entire bar (including Veronica's mom and that weird bartender lady who seems like somebody's sister who wandered onto the set, rather than an actual actor -- not that I'm complaining, because my God with the speeches, William H. Macy) spiraling into a celebration of Kev's fictional proposal to Veronica.
Of course, a few hours later he's drunk enough to propose for real, and after a blacking-out heart-to-heart with her mom he does just that. (It is sweet, and trashy.) Next morning, he wakes up terrified, but not for the reason you think: After another day of champagne celebration at the Gallagher house (and a sweet sister-in-law cuddle with Fiona, who is being seriously adorable this week) he admits that actually, he's already married. Nice dark edges in there with Kev, which makes him a lot more interesting than the "stop borrowing my shit" personality that has served until now.
So I guess that's a cliffhanger. Or would be, if Kev had ever showed any signs of being a person, but then it's early days and the same could be said for Deb, and we still don't know Carl at all, so I guess that's not a valid complaint. Anyway, the confident, smart tone continues from last week -- vide Sheila's ex giving Frank tips on surviving the constant onslaught of her sodomy -- and next week, Frank's getting cancer! Or they're just teasing that exciting idea, and in fact giving him some extra testicles so he can talk endlessly about his fucking extra testicles and show them to people when he's drunk and eventually lose them in some dumb bar fight or to a dog or something. One or the other, as long as Frank is totally stupid.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Debbie's out in the yard with a broken stroller, talking to a doll and stoutly ignoring Fiona, who needs her to do her morning-time stuff -- shower, breakfast -- because Fiona keeps the trains running and everybody's just a cog in the machine. Instead, Debbie would like Carl to come out and play, although Fiona cautions her that last time she ended up locked in the basement for half a day.
"That was on purpose! We were playing Loser Goes to Gitmo."
Carl just keeps getting awesomer. Fiona tells Debs to get rid of the stroller, which is broken and makes them look trashy, so Debbie finally comes inside and starts whirling around the kitchen like an insane person: "Anyone want to make some tollhouse cookies with me? How about a pie? I can get started on the crust!" Just twirling and knocking things around and talking a mile a minute.
Frank, to the extent that he ever lived anywhere or lives anywhere, left the house for Sheila's in the same week that Aunt Ginger came and went. Ginger was an even better pet for Debbie than Frank is, because she cared for Debbie right back. This is the sort of weakness Steve, Fiona's boyfriend, will no doubt be exploiting, but I can't believe Fiona's actually going to need this explained to her.
But then, the repurposing of Frank is ruining daughters all over town, apparently. And Fiona's busy getting the news from Lip and Ian that the hot water heater is busted. All that yelling about showers, and this is what happens. Meanwhile Debbie is putting her foot down, making a pretty scary stern face, about the pie she is going to be making. Lip grabs the obituaries and they discuss various old people whose deaths might have freed up a water heater, and Debbie is quite cross with everyone and their lack of precision: "Mrs. Goga had the shaky neck, and she drowned. In her own vomit, last Easter."
Luckily, she came back three days later. Fiona gets hardcore with Debbie, who is even less interested in a shower now that it's cold water, and Carl stinks and is being weird, and Debbie refuses to explain why she's being so totally manic and weird, and then it's on to the next thing, Liam's diaper.
A few streets over at Sheila's, Frank notices they're preparing for a party across the way, and even though it's windy and cold he's all, "Great day for a party!" Being informed that it's a kids' party and thus dry, Frank slams the window and cripples over to his ass pillow at the kitchen table, where Sheila is being a nutcase as usual and asking how he wants his eggs. Karen doesn't even look up, until Eddie slams his way back into the house with an overnight bag and heads down to the basement. Just when you think there's going to be some kind of "Get out of my house and stop fucking my wife" you remember that Eddie loves only clowns.
Kev is finding it hard to concentrate on the constant sex he and Veronica are always having, because once again the Gallaghers are trooping through -- first Debbie, then Carl, toothbrushes and towels in hand -- so Veronica blows him to shut him up, kicking the door closed with one elegant pointed foot. This would be when I started my weekly wondering about why somebody as fantastic as Veronica would ever care about Kev, who mostly seems to be a penis that bitches incessantly. But as they say, if you thought about the reasons people are with other people you'd eventually want to kill yourself.