By Jacob
Karen's dad decides to headbutt Frank because of the blowjob she gave his gay son Ian, so then Frank drunkenly comes home and headbutts Ian in turn. It's gross and scary and not really that important, in the scheme of things. So then Frank disappears and nobody really cares (because that is awesome), except for how it's like his Christmas of the week and time for his disability check. Since he doesn't show up for that, everybody knows something is totally awry. Including Veronica/Veronica's tits, who are out for no reason at all but after Kev's piece last week I guess deserved some airtime.
Turns out he's in Canada, which is too awesome for Frank to even sully, so that cop that has a crush on Fiona explains basic shit and then Steven steals a van -- including dwarven staff -- to get Frank out of Canada and back here. This considerable logistical molehill gets the least screentime of anything, because there's so much drama.
See, Steve -- correctly -- noted that life is better when shitty Frank is not around, so he kidnapped him and dropped him over the border. Bad Steve. But on the plus side, he also used dwarves to get him back, so he thinks it's a wash. Fiona thinks otherwise, despite the fact that Frank has saddled her with fifty kids that he headbutts from time to time, and honestly should just go die in a fire.
Except then what would we do for the second act of this episode, where William H. Macy randomly decides that he's in Gus van Sant's interpretation of King Lear and rails on his countrymen at various degrees of focus and acts the shit out of some Lipton and is totally inappropriate and stupid and manages to make this whole show look stupid and lame? I guess being on a poorly conceived American import, on a channel with a half-ass drama record, was just too offensive, so he decided to shoot the moon.
So he does that shit forever, while everybody acts circles around him because this isn't a fucking Coen brothers farce and all the other actors -- including Debbie, who is like five -- are doing their best to make up for his showboating, and finally William H. Macy calms down enough to go back to his fucking trailer, and we get to have a show again for five seconds.
In which not much actually happens.
But then awesomely, after a montage of people not willing to harbor Frank's gross ass throughout Chicago, he shows up at Karen's mom Sheila's (Joan Cusack)'s house, and she fucks him up the ass multiple times with a stunningly detailed, veiny ivory dildo. And then make him her live-in butt slave.
At which point maybe you start to think maybe there's a method to this madness after all. Because as we learned last week, there's nothing more demeaning for a man than taking it up the ass... And what better jerkoff to pay that emasculating price than Frank Gallagher?
week: Frank is denied almost a thousand civil rights straight people take for granted; Fiona and Steve get back together; some body part of Veronica and Kev we haven't seen before; hopefully we ignore Frank and get back to the actual characters of this dumb show.