Whee, l'hotel en a rue du Paris! La Plaza Athenee! Carrie steps out, in striped shoes to match her traveling outfit. And a little hat. Chapeau. It's, um, shrunken. And at a jaunty angle. It's like a beret crossed with an Oreo. Double Stuf with very bad things. Hydrogenated pain oils. Le ouch. That hat. People hate mimes, right? Well, that hat is some mime's revenge on Pat Fields. Can you see the miming? First the mime will pull Pat close to him with the invisible rope. Then the mime will walk against the wind, holding the hat firmly to his head. Then a fake gust of wind will blow the hat into Pat Field's waiting hands, where she snatches it and rides her bike like a good little fashion witch of the East Village all the way to the costume department. "Look! Look! It's the Frenchiest hat ever! And it's so STREET!" Then everyone oohs and pretends to love it, then rolls their eyes and thanks God that there's only one more episode. Myself included.
Carrie "mercis" and "bonjours" everyone into the hotel. Her accent is l'horrible. Then the desk clerk actually says a sentence to her en Francais, and she's all, le slower, please? Okay. Alek is in the salon. She's all, "Ah! Oui!" She has the luggage sent to her room and dashes off to see her LOVAH.
Carrie, charmed by the genteel manner of the salon, sees Alek in a snuggly position with a young woman. Typically, she looks shocked to the core, then waffles. Alek sees her and leaps up, saying how good it is to see her. They kiss passionately, as Carrie looks out of one eye at the woman sitting there, smoking as she gives Carrie le hairy eyeball. She's Alek's daughter, Chloe. Bonjour. Carrie says she's fine, et toi? Chloe rattles off a long complaint en Francais, none of which Carrie understands. Chloe says, "Oh! You don't speak French!" No. She's learning. Alek explains that Chloe said she's having a bad day, and that she wants to kill herself. Charmer. Alek finishes with, "Boyfriend problems." Carrie perks up and says that's her department. "Tell me all about the bum!" Chloe exhales a plume of tobacco smoke and just stares at her. Wow, I can tell Carrie isn't thinking "stepmom." Also, maybe she hasn't learned yet that you can't be everybody's buddy. Not right off the bat, and sometimes never. Particularly when you meet your b.f.'s daughter. Give it time. Or let it go. Whatever. Chloe asks if this is Carrie's "first visit to Paris." Yup. And she "almost screamed" when she went past the Eiffel Tower. Chloe says the Eiffel Tower "used to be tolerable, but now, with that light show? Hideous. Simply hideous!" Carrie says, "Oh," and picks up her clutch like a security blanket. Chloe lights another cigarette. Alek says quietly, "du trop," which if I remember my All About Eve correctly, means she's in the way or too much or something. Then Alek says Chloe won't be joining them for dinner or drinks later, just the afternoon. Carrie excuses herself to nap and unpack so they can catch up without having to interpret for her benefit. They don't look like they'll miss her. And Alek will be going out later with some museum people, so he won't see Carrie until later. She says, "I'm in Paris! Don't worry about me!" Oh, and what's their room number again? 625, got it.
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