Sam takes a toke off a joint and puts it in the ashtray to her bed. Woo, Sam smokes weed! Way to know how to relax, woman. She plugs in her massive lilac AcuVibe vibrator and it sputters. Oh, snap. She bangs the head on the night stand. It still sputters. She really whacks it this time. And it still doesn't work. In a fit of pique, she tosses the thing and turns over, waving her delicately manicured fists around. Life is so unfair sometimes!
And meanwhile, over in Mir's apartment, life is really unfair. She stares dazedly at Brady through the bars of his crib. He's screaming his little lungs out. Mir looks like she's in jail. Wee baby jail. Her doorbell rings. Who is it? 4-D. Mir opens the door and apologizes for all the screaming. 4-D says it's 2:30 AM -- what the fuck, lady? Mir launches into a wee diatribe about how babies cry, and "that is what they do sometimes," and 4-D mentions that she knows this, since she has a baby too, and if Mir ever said hello in the elevator, she might know that. Oh, my.
Carrie goes to the newsstand in a voluminous nightie and gray hoodie. As. IF. Okay, I know she's preggers, but -- a nightie? We go from hot pants and bras to nighties and hoodies? What's , a pair of Earl jeans with a maternity panel and slipper-feet? Or a tee silk-screened with a bikini-clad woman's body on it, the tackiest trompe l'oeil in existence? Carrie buys a paper and carefully sidesteps a stream of pee from a public urinator, who she greets with a cheerful "good morning!" Yeah, I love to say hi to the pee people. "Hey! You look awfully big and hairless to be a doggy! Where's your leash, buster?" Just kidding -- I'd never make fun of someone who can point a part of their body and pee out of it, particularly at the moment when that's happening. Public urination is like a bar fight -- it's stupid, but it happens, and it's best not to get involved and just get the hell out of the way when you see it happening. Once back inside, Carrie reads the review to Mir over the phone. It's a rave, but Carrie gets stuck on the fact that the reviewer notes that in Carrie's literary world, "single women rule, and the men are disposable." Oh, does Carrie dispose of men? Does she does she does she? Do people think she disposes of men? Is that what the Loo Lady's face meant, that she tossed Aidan like a used paper plate? Does Steve think that Carrie did that? Could Mir say something to Steve about how she tried to protect his feelings? Mir says that if she sees Steve, she'd ask him to marry her so she could have some help. She's totally haggard after getting only an hour of sleep, and having trouble getting ready to go to work. Magda enters, singing, "Hello!" Carrie whines and cries (again, some more) until Mir snaps that maybe Carrie could call "[her] girlfriend Samantha," who probably has the time to talk about this minutiae. Magda peers around the corner and Mir shuts the bathroom door, close to tears. All she wants is for Sam to acknowledge that she's had a baby! It's so hard, and the neighbors hate her too! Mir has to go. She says congrats on the review, hangs up, and opens the door to see a baleful-looking Magda, who just walks away from her boss lady.
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