The music is evocative of the "Intermission" music in my favorite episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus as we pan up a stocking-clad leg to reveal Belle in a wedding gown. I assume we're supposed to gasp and think that she's suddenly decided to get married as a midseason twist, but I expect it's just another kinky client. After some weird talk from the woman who helps young ladies find the perfect dress for their Special Day, we move on to the plot: Belle's got a call from her agent asking if she does girls.
We see "Belle's Enjoy List" on the computer, and everything is checked except for BDSM (giving), Cum In Mouth, more somes, and Scat, which have Xs through them. There is neither a check nor an X under "Girls". There are checks for "A-Level" and "GFE", which do not sound familiar. Google informs me that "GFE" is "Girlfriend Experience," which we saw a couple of weeks ago. I assume that "A-Level" just means she can converse intelligently enough to simulate an education. Incidentally, I can't be sure, but I think "Snowballing" is checked, which (if it means what Kevin Smith said it did in Clerks) I'm not sure about, given that "Cum In Mouth" is an X.
I realize that this may be more information than you wanted. But I feel it's my responsibility to relay to you all the details.
Anyway, the agent is setting up a threeway, although she hasn't rounded up Girl Number 2 yet. The usual suspects are all busy, and one of them is seeing Les Miserables for what we're given to believe is the millionth time. You know, there's a prostitute in that movie. She dies almost immediately and her child is taken away from her. I'm just saying, I'm not sure that's the most uplifting thing to watch for someone in that profession. Although I guess they'd get tired of watching Pretty Woman over and over again.
The big news, though, is who the client is: it's Ashok, whom you might remember from the Girlfriend Experience that I referred to a couple of paragraphs ago. Belle is shocked that someone who's been paying to have sex with her "every second Wednesday since I started" now wants to pay to have sex with other people. Out in the bridal store, women are squealing in a way that feels more "bridal shower" than "trying on dresses" to me. Belle takes us to the opening credits with "It's not that I don't enjoy going down on girls. It's just that I never really enjoy going out with them."
Hmm. Ben is at the bridal store, complaining that Belle is supposed to be helping him find a suit. So I guess she's just trying on dresses for the fun of it. She makes fun of the suit he's picked, which is a cream-colored number. When Ben informs the Bridal Store Lady that Belle is not the bride, Belle sulks at the camera for a bit.
So! Remember last week when Belle texted Ben with the information that she was a painted lady of the evening? Apparently he hasn't said anything about it. There's some awkwardness between them, and he starts to gently grill her. The night her sister had a baby? Yep, working as a prostitute. Was she on the job when she and Ben were going out? No. Why does she do it? She enjoys it. What's on tonight? That threesome we were talking about. She makes the mistake of referring to Ashok as "like a friend", which seems to make Ben wonder how she thinks of him. Just then! The phone rings, and it's the agent. Belle will be working with Naomi, who is new. She's just come over from "Brompton Escorts".
Ben looks deep in thought after listening to his friend make an assignation, and then hastily excuses himself. When he sees her enormous roll of cash, he gets out of the diner (they're in a diner by now; sorry I didn't mention that earlier) as quickly as possible.
As Belle thinks about Ben's last question, which was "How did you get into it?" we fall into blue-tinted flashbacks. In said flashbacks, we see her going home from a one-night stand realizing that her cab fare home included more than she thought. So there you go! Now she's at the hotel, meeting up with Naomi, who is not a young, fresh-faced newcomer. She looks older than Belle, although she's still quite attractive. Naomi quizzes Belle on what Ashok is like, but it turns out she's not talking about "Is he a nice guy who reads a lot" so much as "Does he like anal or vanilla?" Belle doesn't know what Ashok likes in the way of threesomes, so Naomi suggests going with "good cop/bad cop".
There is a soft-focus montage of preparations, which involve primping and dildos and underwear selection. And more kissing than you'd expect before the customer shows up. Ashok arrives, and is promptly undressed. Kisses are lavished upon his nekkid torso, and then there is sex in a variety of positions. We get to see Belle and Naomi coordinate their faked orgasms, which is fun. Naomi takes a break at one point, and Belle finishes Ashok off.
Afterward, the three of them are lying in the bed while Belle tries to connect with Ashok about the book she loaned him last time. If you're looking for Billie Piper's boobies, this is a good scene. Naomi scowls when Belle curls up in Ashok's arms. After he's gone, Belle asks Naomi in she'd like to hang out some time. After being assured that it would involve neither shagging nor Pretty Woman (I guess they do get tired of it!), she's up for it. But Belle looks scared when she has to give her real name ("Hannah", remember?). Naomi claims that her real name is, in fact, Naomi.
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Naomi leaves, and Belle sits alone in the hotel room. And then her phone rings and it's Naomi. Already? Okay, so they go sit on a park bench with Chinese food and reminisce about good and bad clients. Belle monkeys with her phone moping about Ben not calling her. Naomi bucks her up a bit. I said "bucks". With a "b".
Belle voiceovers that she's pleased to have a female friend to talk about men, sex, and work. They go to a clinic and continue to bond. Later, Belle is asleep at home (she uses that bed for sleeping, too?) when the agent calls with a new client. It's an auctioneer for Wednesday. But that's her day with Ashok! Ah, but Ashok will be with Naomi that night. Bum bum bummm! Belle turns down the auctioneer and then mopes in a variety of chairs in her apartment. She deletes Naomi from her phone and wonders about why she's so upset that a regular sex-client is going to go pay someone else for sex. Finally, she calls Ben and cries a bit until he agrees to come over.
Ben's brought a present and compliments about how she looked in the wedding dress. They have standard longtime-friend small talk until she says she's missed him, he apologizes and calls her his "best mate," and so on. But can she talk to him about her work? He'd like her to try. But he does have one favor to ask. Luckily, it is not "Please have sex with me and Vanessa," which makes the second Kevin Smith movie this episode has reminded me of. Actually, what Ben is wants is for Belle to be his Best Man. See, that's why Ben always comes running when Belle calls: he doesn't have any other friends.
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Montykins likes the idea of keeping his job a secret from people. It adds a touch of mystery to him. Monty also watches a lot of movies, which he writes about on Monty on Movies. You can email him at montykins@gmail.com if that's your idea of a good time.
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