London at night is blue. I never knew that. Belle is weirdly clinical about things tonight, claiming that "pleasure is taking place" everywhere. It sounds like people aren't even involved; there are just pockets of unaffiliated pleasure going on. The particular pocket she's involved in is going to involve an invitation and a straight black wig.
"Sometimes, I get paid to do something I've always wanted to do." What is that thing? We will not know until after the credits. I would just like to say that I find the name "Belle de Jour" (creator of the book/weblog this show is based on) distracting, because I keep thinking it should be "du", not "de" like in "soup du jour". I realize it's unfair of me to expect French to work the way I want it to, but there it is.
"I love it when my personal desires are the same as my professional duties," smirks Belle. "The most prestigious adult party in the country?" Sex parties are prestigious now? I'm not sure what the most prestigious one in the US would be. The AVN awards? That big pimps-and-hos thing in Las Vegas? The Republican National Convention? Zing! That's my political humor. People like it when you're topical.
The party in question is for couples only and everyone has to be under forty and beautiful. Well... I'm under forty. I guess I still have a couple of years left in which to become beautiful. Belle has a man with her and checks in her phone at the door. Her date briefs her on the way up the stairs to the party: for the purposes of the party, they're not married, although she does have to know some things about him, like his name (Alexander) and his job (he works on an engine of some sort). When Alexander panics about what Belle should say she does for a living, she laughs that in her dress, no one will care. Really, is there a lot of shop-talk at sex parties? Even prestigious ones seem like they have something else on their mind.
Belle takes a glass of champagne as she enters the party, but she assures us it's "just for show" when she's working. Yeah? Because I'm pretty sure I saw her drinking wine last episode when she accidentally told Daniel her real name. Belle tells us about how adult parties are like any other party: there are people who want to be the center of attention (by wearing nothing but feathers and shiny pasties), shy people in the corner (also wearing feathers, actually), a cool crowd (more feathers) and the back room where "the real party happens".
The back room has a brightly-lit round bed in the center, but it's unoccupied at the moment. The bed is, I mean. There are a few people making out in the dark corners of the room, avoiding the light, but Belle and Alexander go straight for the bed. Alexander explains that he doesn't want to get it on right away. He wants to watch all the men at the party wanting her, "and then, maybe, later on at home, when you are really desperate, then I will fuck you." Belle gives the camera a quick "Can you believe this guy?" look, and then says okay.
Walking into another room, Belle bumps into someone and knocks champagne on herself. Them she bumps into the waiter because she's so diligently hiding her face with her straight black wig. In the bathroom, she dumps out the champagne and tells us that she always panics when she recognizes someone because she has to stop and figure out where she knows them from.
Prowling the party, Belle realizes that the man is Jay Lorre, who wrote a book that changed her life. He's in a group that is discussing An Inconvenient Truth, which does not make this seem like the sexiest party ever. Oh, and it turns out it's just wine instead of champagne, although it looks like it might fizz a bit. Belle flirts a bit with Jay and offers to go somewhere more private. Before they can do anything, Alexander swoops in and pulls Belle away for a shoulder massage. He's delighted that the writer is turned on by Belle, but it turns out that Alexander's kink involves repeatedly saying "But he can't have you. Only I can have you." Belle is not delighted.
Later that night, Belle is cranky that she's here with "the only possessive man at an orgy." Bored, Belle strikes up a conversation with a languid blonde so that Alexander has someone to talk to about hybrid cars and renewable energy. Man, if this is the sort of thing that happens at orgies, I'm glad I've never been to one. Belle slinks off and accosts Lorre. They chat briefly about Alexander and possessiveness and whatnot until someone comes by ringing a loud bell and announcing that "the show is starting." Oh boy, a show! It turns out to involve heart-shaped balloons being popped one by one. It's like burlesque, but not sexy. It's like a burlesque of burlesque.
Jay and Belle sneak off to the "play room", which is full of moaning people, unless that's just the soundtrack. They make out on the bed, which is less scandalous than I was hoping for. Meanwhile, Alexander is swearing at the pure eroticism embodied by someone who's more or less fully clothed beneath the balloons. As Jay and Belle make out, a woman starts stroking Belle with a feather, and now it's a three-way. A man watches from outside the bed, unbuttoning his shirt, and Belle suddenly stops the proceedings. Her new friends offers to take her home, and it is suddenly back on.
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In the hallway, Belle tells us that she is aware that it's unprofessional to ditch a client. But she has an idea! Cut to: Alexander going on about how all these men want her, but any second now, he's going to take her home and blah, blah, blah. Blah. A waiter comes by with a fake call for Belle, whose last name turns out to be Sinclair. I mean, her fake last name. You know what I mean. Belle and the waiter bond a little (he's an actor who's in "The Doll House" month) and then Belle gloats to us that she has an infallible excuse. That excuse turns out to be "personal reasons", which is not particularly convincing. Alexander's not thrilled, even though he'll be getting his money back. Poor Alexander!
Downstairs in the car with Jay and the feather lady, it turns out that Belle has actual Personal Reasons that she can't go with them. Her phone (her personal cell phone, I guess) has a lot of messages from Ben. She meets up with him at the hospital and it turns out that her sister has just had a child. Remember last episode when she mentioned that her sister was nine months pregnant? Here's the payoff! Belle's excited that it's a boy, but her sister tartly reminds her that she already knew that. The baby is cute and spends a lot of time trying to shove his entire fist into his mouth. I understand that babies do that a lot.
Belle's father is outside smoking and would like to know what Belle's been up to. She can't answer him, and meaningful piano music comes up on the soundtrack. It looks like he might know what's up.
Riding home asleep in a blurry car, Belle's got a ratty wig and feathers everywhere. Ben wakes her up so she can see him wearing the wig he found in her bag. She's not amused, and they part with oddly enunciated "Laterz". The "t" is pronounced with a glottal stop instead of a lingual stop. I mention that in a transparent attempt to impress you with my vast array of knowledge and also to try to make that phonology class finally pay off. For those of you who are not interested in that sort of thing (which may well be "everybody"), I should also mention that as soon as Belle gets home, she strips butt-nekkid. Then she reaches under her pillow and pulls out a Jay Lorre book, The Irony Engine. Aw, he really is her favorite author! I hope she moves the book before she brings clients back there.
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Montykins went to a sex party once, but he left before anyone took their clothes off. That place really needed better traffic flow, and maybe some air conditioning. Monty also watches a lot of movies, which he writes about on Monty on Movies. You can email him at montykins@gmail.com if that's your idea of a good time.
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