By LTG
Commercials. Oh, Jason Lee. If you weren't already going to burn in hell for the Scientology, you'd certainly be there for Alvin And The Chipmunks.
Sam and Todd enter a sports bar. Sam's castigating herself for her former evil, and Todd tells her, "Well, now I know why the wheelchair in our closet is covered with stickers from all our teams." Sam tells Todd that she's now going to give up on the idea of ever dating and just stay home and take care of her aging parents: "And then I'm gonna get a cat that I swear thinks it's people." Todd tells her a story (which she remembers while he's telling it) about a time the two of them were getting busy in the park and a goose stole her watch. What exactly was she doing with her hands that required watch removal? She chased the goose across the park to get her watch back, refusing to quit until she got what she wanted. Other details: the goose bit her on the toe (hence the scar), she did get the watch back (and is wearing it), and it was a watch that Todd gave her for her birthday. There's a tender moment between them, and Todd asks Sam if she wants to throw darts. Sam: "Okay. At what?"
Back at the other bar, Dena is comforting Andrea while she cries over Mr. Rome. (Or, more likely, over losing the chance to fly to Rome in a private jet.) Andrea claims that she's only crying due to sleep deprivation, what with her having already tried to switch herself over to Roman time. Dena thinks it must be hard for someone as materialistic and vain as Andrea to admit that she's been jerked around. Andrea takes this description as a compliment, adding that she's also strong. Dena thinks that lots of men can't handle a strong woman (which is why they get restraining orders requiring them to remain fourteen telephone poles away at all times.) Andrea: "That's a good point, Tina." Dena corrects her on the name, but Andrea refuses to believe it, and then toasts, "To strong women." And then Dena gets strong and tells Andrea to stop stealing her drinks.
At the sports bar, Sam is kicking Todd's ass at darts and totally rubbing it in. He sarcastically tells Sam that he doesn't know why guys aren't lining up at her door, but then tells her that he seriously doesn't get that, since even with amnesia she's fun to be with. Sam: "Yeah, with you. If only you had amnesia, too, we'd be the perfect couple." And then the awkward romantic tension is broken by the arrival of Kevin. He asks Sam whether she was at the game, and she lies and says that she was. Sam doesn't know how to introduce Todd, but he fills in the blanks and tells Kevin that he's Sam's friend. Kevin makes a joke about the zamboni. Sam laughs at it and shoots a pleading glance at Todd. He acts dumb and asks whether the zamboni isn't that thing that smooths out the ice. Sam claims to be teaching Todd about the game, and then insults his intelligence. Todd takes it, like the doormat he is, but then bails on Kevin and Sam. He does tell Kevin to make sure Sam gets home okay, since she has a terrible sense of direction. By which I think he means a terrible sense of moral direction, since she's already lying to the guy she likes and insulting the guy she loves. Kevin tells Sam that he's excited about the night, pointing out that it's bobblehead night. Sam, clearly feeling some guilt about insulting Todd, sucks it up and tells Kevin that she has amnesia and doesn't even know what a bobblehead is. She also tells him that she's not going to change who she is to please him, and that she's banned from the arena and can't go to the game with him. He recognizes her as the wheelchair girl, and has a recollection of throwing a soda at her when she was caught. She asks him if he's appalled, or maybe turned on. He's not sure, but thinks it's more the latter than the former. He offers to buy her a drink. Sam's V.O. says that she can be who she is even though she has amnesia, since that's who she happens to be. Or something. She does remember an important plot point from Raiders Of The Lost Ark, and realizes that's her favorite movie.
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