Down on location, Evil Michael "Mr. Tee Hee" Guerin (Rath) and Evil Isabel "Isa-Hell" Evans (Lonnie) enact some mad crazy vengeance, yo, walking past an outdoor caf (because al fresco dining is totally all the rage in New York City in the last week of November) and bustin' up some mad crazy shit. Isa-Hell tells Mr. Tee Hee, "When he gets here -- if he gets here -- we're puttin' him in his place. I'm sick of getting attitude from him." Mr. Tee Hee stops by a table and picks up a sandwich containing massive amounts of fishcakes, and he begins wailing at a nearby waiter about putting mayo on pastrami. Gross? Yes. His sandwich? Not so much. Pointless? Do I even need to tell you? Is there not enough fat content in a pastrami and mayo for you, Mr. Staypuft Marshmallow Superman? What would you prefer, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and a Crisco glaze with a side order of ANOTHER FIVE SANDWICHES? Isa-Hell takes the high road, plot-development-wise, interrupting this display of sheer "ACTING" and informing Evil Michael, "He's here." Mr. Tee Hee throws the fishcakes at the waiter and skulks away, and he and Isa-Hell walk away from the eatery. They walk past a street sign correctly reading, "E. 51st Street" and stop at the glass-covered E, F, 6 subway stop in front of the Citicorp Building. Which is extremely near my old apartment. Shout-out? I was so close to commenting on how proud I was of the director of this episode for designing a pretty accurate simulation of midtown New York, had they not walked past a sign for "Edward Street" on their way to the subway stop. Edward Street? Like it would have been that hard for someone to have shelled out the six dollars for a "Streetwise" map, much like the one I am currently holding in my hands to confirm that there is no such "Edward Street" on the entire island of Man-NOT-an. Anyway, standing in front of the stop is the almost-forgotten Gage, doing a poor job of folding a large map he should instead have been sharing with the director and asking, "Do you see an Edward Street anywhere on here? I mean, DO YOU?" Isa-Hell snarks at him for being late, and he responds with a snarling, "God, I hate this town." Well sorry, World's Smallest Independently Traveling Tourist, but if you really want to take in what New York has to offer, you simply have to get out of midtown and away from Edward Street, where there's really nothing to see. And I do mean nothing.
Opening credits: Cat being sucked through aoh, sorry. Wrong recap.
Commercials: Tonight's episode of Roswell is brought to you by Dude, Where's My Car. Translated, that means that the world is a mere two more horsemen away from the beginning of the apocalypse. Two horsemen called Dawson's Creek and Dungeons and Dragons, I'm willing to bet.