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This here's a bloody one. To consolidate their expected victory, Octavian and Mark Antony make up an extensive enemies list, and assign Vorenus and his crime boss buddies to carry out the hits. Cicero is first on the list, and Pullo suggests bringing along the family, maybe a picnic, make a day of it. Not even kidding. Before Pullo kills him, however, Cicero gets wind of the plot and dispatches a letter to Brutus warning him of Octavian and Antony's alliance. But the letter gets lost among the picnicking Vorenii, as documents of historic import so often do. Vorenus has big plans for the future of the Collegia, but Memmio's plotting something that involves a greasy dude and Vorena the Elder, so we'll have to wait and see how that turns out. Watching the legions depart Rome, Pullo gets nostalgic for his army days until Eirene informs him that she's "preglant." Aw, a half-brother for little Caesarion. Timon and his brother are sharing common interests now, so Timon's thuggishness combined with Levi's political activism equips them to crack some kingmaking skulls. See if Herod gets to rule Judea now, eh? Octavia's friend Jocasta, whose family got put on Octavian's enemies list at Julii Cooper's request, shows up at her front door, and now Julii Cooper has no choice but to take her in. And just when she was feeling so smug about figuring out that Octavia and Agrippa are totally doing it, too. Finally, Brutus, Cassius, and their fourteen legions meet Octavian, Antony, and their nineteen legions at Philippi, Greece. It goes about the way you'd expect, except that we actually get to see some of the fighting. Cassius is killed, and Brutus goes down swinging in ironically Caesar-like fashion, leaving Antony and Octavian alive and victorious. I'm sure they'll be fighting each other again soon. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Brutus and Cassius are marching with their army through northern Greece. Cassius is multitasking, riding along with some sort of miniature traveling desk on the saddle in front of him while also stressing about how much food they're going through. Brutus cheerfully says that he's been talking to their men. All 100,000 of them? "They had no idea Greece was so large," he grins Britshly. I imagine almost any country is large if you have to walk across it. Brutus teases Cassius about making them march on, and Cassius grumbles that they have to find "good ground." He doesn't want to be buried just anywhere (spoiler!). When Brutus remarks that the men are amiable enough (just what you want in an army of mercenary killers), Cassius calls them "ravening, potbellied whore-scum. I hope they fight as well as they eat." Well, yeah, this many men on this long a march will consume a lot of provisions. It's like if somebody took charge of Woodstock and told everyone, "Okay, for the performer, we're all walking to Indianapolis." Brutus tries to cheer up his old co-conspirator by raising his eyes to the spectacle of the huge column of soldiers on the road before and behind them. "I see only a hundred thousand mouths to feed," Cassius grumps. Brutus reminds him that they're saving the Republic. Oh, who hasn't saved the Republic several times on this show by now? Everyone talks about how great the Republic is, but with all the saving it's constantly in need of, I'm starting to see the "Republic" as this helpless, dizzy chick that's always getting tied to train tracks and menaced by cougars. Shut up, "Republic."
Mark Antony's camp in Cisalpine Gaul. In his tent with Lepidus, Posca, Octavian, Agrippa, and Maecenas (the tent's a bit crowded), Antony is looking over a map and suggesting the brilliant stratagem of taking Brutus by surprise. As in, he expects that Brutus will be surprised to find himself facing both Octavian's army and his own. Octavian is too busy writing on a clay tablet to be impressed, even if this wasn't already completely obvious to him, which it is. He closes the tablet, the heavy wooden case of which is adorned with a medallion of his sphinx seal, and hands it to Mark Antony, saying that it's a list of supporters Brutus still has in Rome, and suggesting, "We should kill them before they learn what we're about." "You are a ferocious little cunt...with a pen," Antony tells Octavian, who we can see isn't taking this lightly because he's now got his back to the rest of the men and is rubbing his face unhappily. Poor little Stalinist. Lepidus protests that the list includes "the finest men in Rome. Some of them [Lepidus's] good friends." "Their money will be useful as well," Maecenas calmly points out. Lepidus tells Mark Antony to explain why this won't happen. After a pause, and another look at the list, Antony weighs in: "Cicero is the cleverest bastard of them all and the one with the largest network of spies. He must die first." Not at all personal, I'm sure. Lepidus sits in shock as Antony decides to add a few names of his own. Octavian says that he'll go tell everyone that he plans to head east alone, and Antony says that when they return to Rome, he'll go ahead as well and leave Lepidus behind to keep the peace (and also to not desert to Brutus's side, although he doesn't say that).