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Tuesday
Interesting song selection process this week; Toby gets back at Dilana, tricking her into streaking around the pool in order to get a song that he doesn't even want. Plus there are two chances to sing originals this time. Storm offers to settle the issue with fisticuffs, but once again ends up with the song everyone else is scared of. One of the originals goes to Patrice, and it turns out to be an up-tempo, melodic, bouncy little rock number. I'm sure they loved it back in Austin, and they will again very soon. Magni does Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" (because the Iceman can not resist an anthem) and further cements his niche as the best cover artist on the show. Ryan does the second original of the night. It's a hard-rocking number that's a better fit for Supernova than Patrice's, even though you can totally tell he wrote it in the '90s and Supernova is an '80s band. Storm pulls off the booby prize of Aerosmith's "Cryin'," then pulls off some boob-related banter with the judges. Dilana's mommy issues provide an emotional backdrop for "Every Breath You Take," but I'm too distracted by her terrifying eyelash treatments to notice. Toby takes on "Layla" and takes off his shirt, revealing the hand-lettered proclamation "EVS," which is apparently Aussie for "whatever." And Lukas uses both of his voices for the Killers' "All These Things That I've Done." Initial bottom three: the doomed, doomed Patrice; Storm; and Toby. Apparently too many viewers agreed with the inscription on his torso. Also, Gilby brings his dog, resulting in the grossest Tommy Lee moment of the season thus far.
Wednesday
More evidence tonight that if Dilana wins this thing, it won't be through strategy. We see her being mean to Ryan after last night's performances for no good reason, and Ryan effortlessly jujitsus it to make her look like the asshole. This week's performance with Supernova gets awarded to Toby, who sings a stomper called "Be Yourself and Five Other Clichés." I think they undercounted. Then, instead of an encore of one of last night's performances, we get an encore of Dilana acting like a dick. Apparently, a bunch of media types descended on the Mansion last week to give the Supernovices a little practice in doing press interviews, and Dilana was so tactless that she almost renders Dave speechless. Of course, she cops to being "too honest." Must be rough to be so very awesome that you come all the way back around to sucking. Last night's initial bottom three -- Patrice, Storm, and Toby -- are joined in the bottom four by Magni, who also turns out to be the first one in the bottom three. He tears up Jimi Hendrix's "Fire," although he fails to ignite his guitar. Patrice's fourth (!) bottom three performance is "The Middle Of The Road" by the Pretenders, wherein she unfortunately demonstrates that her idea of an "arrangement" is to make the House Band sound like they're playing underwater. And Storm seems quite disappointed when she turns out to be safe and Toby gets to give his first bottom three performance. He does "Plush" by Stone Temple Pilots, and is safe as well. That leaves Magni and Patrice, which you know means that she's heading back to Austin. Sixth Street awaits! Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Tuesday
Brooke's introduction tonight is even more uncomfortable than usual, but that's because she's standing on an awkwardly-staged spot at Jason's end of the judges' dais, flanked by the members of Supernova. It's disorienting, but I guess that's rock & roll. Brooke says that a lead singer will be chosen for the band in three weeks, and the audience applauds the remaining seven residents of the Nut Gallery. Those guys get more personal space up there every week. Which, as we'll see tomorrow, is a good thing, if only for their own safety. Brooke teases us with some reference to how we can get tickets to Supernova's world tour, but first, she brings up Supernova's liver performance last week with Dilana. Everyone congratulates each other on that, and then we're into the previouslies. Dilana sang with Supernova while Lukas looked on enviously. "I would have loved to be up there," Lukas interviews. Storm admits in an interview of her own that she was jealous, but also excited for Dilana. Who gloaterviews, "It was the debut of Dilana and Supernova as one, and now I can't imagine anyone else fronting the band." Which would explain why she spends the rest of this week acting like she already won.
Then it's song selection time back at the Mansion, and the Supernovices learn that there are not one, but two slots for original songs this week. And after the spanking they got last week, everyone wants to do their original song this time around. Storm, in particular, is more adamant than I've ever seen her. Not only is she towering over everyone at the head of the table where the rest of them are seated, she is willing to literally throw some punches for the chance to perform her original song. "I'll put on gloves and fight," she announces, in all seriousness. The folks in the auditorium whoop at that. Patrice says that she'll "stand up on [her] two feet all night long." Not if Storm starts hitting her, she won't. She clarifies, "And not eat and not sleep for an original song." Magni plays the peacemaker, saying that since Patrice has been in the bottom three the most times, she should get the chance to do an original: "She earned it." Magni's English is pretty good, so I have to assume his choice of "earned" rather than "desperately needs" is intentional. Either way, everyone agrees.
Then it's down to Ryan and Storm for the last one. Storm is still all over boxing for it, but Ryan's like, "I'm not gonna box you for the song." Storm's kind of offended at what she sees as Ryan's misguided chivalry, even though it's clear to everyone else -- including Ryan -- that he just doesn't want to get his ass kicked. Which he would. Magni tries to apply the bottom-three test again, and Ryan comes out ahead there. Presumably Magni took himself out of the running, because he, Ryan, and Patrice are the only ones still there who have ever been in the bottom three at all. And then Storm starts finding herself drawn to the song that nobody else wants to do, which in this case is "Cryin'" by Aerosmith. Which I'm pretty sure also has a key change, so she eventually folds and tells Ryan, "You better kill it." Ryan interviews that Zayra went home after doing her original, so he's taking the same risk. With his sweatshirt hood up for some reason, he explains that he thinks his song is one "that Supernova can be part of." Generous of him. Supernova will be so relieved.
With that settled, there are still five covers to divvy up, and Dilana says that she wants "Every Breath You Take." "That's the one I want," Toby claims, all wide-eyed innocence. "Run around the pool naked," he tells Dilana. "I did it for you last week." Dilana just looks back at him, trying to show some bravado by smiling. It doesn't work. And of course, even if she doesn't want the song that badly, it's not like she can back down, because Dave and Supernova will thump her for that. She's trapped. Well played, Toby.
So then Dilana's outside dashing around the pool, sporting nothing but her tattoos and a digitized blur bikini. What's funny is that looking like this, she would still set off an airport metal detector. "Payback was definitely a bitch," Dilana later interviews. Patrice says to Toby, "That's the best smile you've had all day." Toby raises his beer -- a pint glass in a can cooler, which is at least eight kinds of classy -- and confesses, "I don't actually want that song." Ha! Man, if Dilana were as bad at singing as she is at strategizing, she'd be...well, she'd be Zayra.
Later, Storm sits on her bed with her acoustic guitar, trying to figure out how she's going to sing "Cryin'" and being pissed at herself for giving in again and taking everyone else's leavings. But then, fortunately, her product-placed cell phone with music downloading capability makes it all better. Thank you, product-placed cell phone! "It's hard to sing, but it's an awesome song and I will crush it," Storm promises.
Back in the auditorium, Dave wants to mention something before they start analyzing the footage, and that is that the panel has a fifth member tonight. Butch Walker is back? No, it's Gilby's dog, Chopper. "What up, dawg?" Dave asks the black bulldog, which is less embarrassing than the fact that Chopper gets a subtitle: "CHOPPER: Supernova - Mascot." Poor puppy. Although it was nice of Gilby to wait until Zayra was gone instead of subjecting Chopper's ears to her special brand of hypersonic racket. But on to the Supernovices. Dave asks Storm why she gave in yet again. Storm says that she's just too nice. "Usually I put other people first," she says, then admits that's not so great in a competition. She also says, "You love these people and you want them to rock out, too." Good answer -- that's the kind of person you want to be in a band with. "And," Storm adds, "I'm not scared to sing anything." Dave says that's quite apparent, but I think she's exaggerating. I dare her to attempt some Rammstein the first time she's in the bottom three.
Dave moves on to Ryan, and asks him to say more about his claim that his song is right for Supernova. Ryan says that he's got lots of different sounds; he played in a rock band for years, and has been doing solo/piano for the last year (which we saw a few weeks ago, as you'll recall), and says that he wants to show that he can do a harder song. Way to not answer the question. Even so, Dave turns his attention to Patrice and asks her how important it was to do an original tonight. Patrice says that she's confident in her songwriting, and wants to show what she can do. So then Dave says that she can go first. "You fought for the original. You got the original. Why don't you go kick the original." Well, according to Magni's logic, she also sucked for the original, but nobody mentions that.
Patrice takes the stage and straps on a black Gibson SG for the song, which is called "Beautiful Thing." I'm kind of expecting some y'all-ternative tune from Patrice, but that's not what she brings. This is a straight-ahead rock song with a driving beat and a nice, strong melody. The guitar playing doesn't limit her too much, because a) she doesn't play it religiously on the verses and b) she's kind of limited performance-wise already. Rafael the Lead Guitarist throws a solo, and then Patrice does that thing where she carries the mic stand down the runway for the last verse and chorus. It's obvious that she's having a great time, which I appreciate. Plus, she's at the point in the competition where she needs to make every performance count, because she doesn't have many left.
Dave congratulates Patrice for everything. "I am gonna say to you what I said to Zayra a couple of weeks ago," Dave warns her, which is something you never want to hear. He says that if that's her kind of material, she'd probably do better as a solo artist. He says it a lot nicer than he said it to Zayra, though. Tommy also dug the song, and although he thinks it's a little "happy" for Supernova, he drops a Six Million Dollar Man reference (because he's so very old) as he says that they can make it heavier by slowing it down and tuning it lower. And, he doesn't say, having someone else sing it. Jason does that Jason thing where instead of giving feedback, he interviews the contestant, asking Patrice how it felt to showcase her own song for "the giantest audience ever for you." Patrice says that she loved it, of course. She never gets to do that at Crocodile Rock. She shares that she made a pact with her guitar player at age nineteen that she would never have a day job again, and she hasn't ever since. But she says she never thought that she'd be able to do this. Jason agrees that it's pretty awesome of him and the guys to give her this chance, and that's it for Patrice. Well, not for good. At least not until tomorrow, but I'm getting ahead of myself. Brooke gives Patrice's voting number, for all the good it's going to do her. Whoops, there I go again.
Magni's singing "Smells Like Teen Spirit" tonight. Wow, whod'a thunk they'd ever get the rights to a Nirvana song? It's pretty faithful to the original, except for a few measures dropped out here and there so you barely miss them. And no guitar solo, of course. Again, Magni displays his biggest weakness, which is his tendency to not do very much new with the song. Which may actually be an asset, from Supernova's point of view; maybe they don't want a powerful creative force added into the mix that's already been carefully tuned and balanced by Mark Burnett. Magni and the House Band rock the hell out of it, of course. I'm not sure it's possible to play this song as originally recorded and not rock it. Believe me, my old band tried.
Dave says that Magni did a great job, and adds, "When the song you're doing calls for angst, you have the angst." Jason asks Magni how it felt, and Magni says he loves the song. "Like 'Creep,' that's one of my generation's anthems." Magni says. Jason says he felt the energy coming off the stage. Tommy throws Magni a curveball: he wants to know why Magni didn't play guitar. Magni says that he likes running around and screaming, instead of "standing and playing the four chords." Just so we know he could have played it if he'd wanted. But Tommy says that just because he has a guitar, it doesn't mean he can't throw it off and smash it after the first chorus. Hi, Tommy! Thanks for reading! Magni laughs, giddily claiming to love the idea. Dave agrees with Tommy: "Before this season ends, I wanna see something get broken up there." What, Jill's heart doesn't count?
As you recall, Ryan's got tonight's second original song, and Brooke promises his "trademark intensity" for his tune, "The Back Of Your Car." Like Patrice, Ryan is also playing guitar with the House Band. Counting Zayra last week, we're three for three on that. Which is interesting to me, because my old band had two guitarist/vocalist/songwriters, and they always seemed to end up playing rhythm guitar on the songs they wrote while the other played lead, just because that's how they taught it to the rest of us. Not that that's interesting to anyone else, except maybe my old bandmates. Hi, guys!
Ryan starts out on the drum riser for a portentous little alarm-bell guitar intro, then leaps off as the song goes into full swing. It's a fast song in a minor key, and Ryan's voice sounds strong on it, as it always has recently. He stops playing and pushes the guitar back while singing the first verse, which seems to be about undressing. The chorus has lots of "whoa whoa"s for the House Band and lots of chances for Ryan to go back to beating the hell out of his guitar. Even Gilby's bobbing his head, although his poker face is in place. Dave seems to be digging it, too. After the short bridge, there's a short solo for Rafael, during which Ryan takes off his own guitar and flings it away to land on far stage left. Cut to Magni biting his lip (Dammit! I was totally going to do that!) and Tommy applauding. Ryan finishes up out on the runway, strong but for some ill-advised falsetto screaming. And the crowd goes wild! Dave and the Supernovices give a standing ovation.
After sitting down again, Dave approvingly wonders, "Who the hell is this guy?" He says that Ryan made a good call in fighting for his original: "That's the most rockin' I've seen you." Good thing he didn't try it last week, during acoustic night. Dave adds that losing the guitar was an awesome, if expensive, move. "That's the price to pay to be in a supergroup," Ryan says, instead of pointing out that the axe was a present in the first place. Dave quite seriously asks what happened to Ryan. Ryan deadpans, "I got laid, Dave." Tommy is naturally on his feet for that, even as the rest of the house screams. Dave dubs him "Ryan 'The Dark Horse' Star." Ooh, catchy. Tommy says that was the most comfortable he's ever seen Ryan onstage. Gilby says that Ryan's done well the past few weeks, but this was his best so far. More crowd screaming. Gilby asks if Ryan thinks Supernova could do that song, and Ryan affirms that it would fit them perfectly: "It's about making love while the world is ending. Some people are in church, some people are just screwing." Yeah, I thought that sounded like a '90s song. Even leaving aside the sound of it, the end-times vibe is a dead giveaway. Brooke gives voting instructions for Magni and Ryan, and then says that after the break, Storm's going to do that Aerosmith song that's had her so worried all week.
Brooke welcomes us back from a seat she's taken inside the Nut Gallery, where the remaining Supernovices are all scrunched together around her like there are fifteen of them again. Storm stands upstage facing the drum kit while Brooke gives an introduction reminding us that Tommy called Storm's performance last week "sautéed in wrong sauce." Tommy cringes guiltily, and Storm just keeps her head down, smiling to herself. And then the House Band kicks into "Cryin'." Storm takes her sweet time ambling up to the mic stand during the intro. Then the singing starts, and she's doing great, building slowly and staying on key and keeping the goofy stage antics to a minimum. Her gigantic alto carries her through, and if she's nervous during the performance, you really can't tell. Yeah, she pulled that off.
Dave tells Storm that that's a very tough song to sing. "Especially wearing your corset," Storm points out with a theatrically pained expression. "Yeah, I need that back," Dave deadpans right back at her. He adds that knowing she can do something like that is why he hated what she did last week. "This was a thousand times better," he says. Tommy also thought it was cool. "I just wish you had less clothes on," he leers. Storm actually looks briefly frustrated at that, but quickly rallies. She does even better when Dave offers to help Tommy by demanding his corset back right now. "Come over here and take it, bitch," Storm responds, cracking my shit up. Gilby tells Storm that she handles challenges well, and that he always knows she's going to do a good job, but at this point he's looking for "memorable performances." In other words, step it up. Like just getting through that mess isn't an achievement on its own. Jason tells her she did a good job too. The end Storm roars to the crowd, "Give it up for Brooke Buuurke!" That's just way too much energy for anything involving Brooke. Brooke also tells Storm she did good, and Storm chirps, "Thanks, lady." I approve of calling people "lady" for no reason. Brooke gives Storm's numbers, and tells us that the fully dressed (for now) Toby and Dilana are up .
Back from the break, Dilana is indeed onstage. After her introduction from Brooke, she instructs the crowd, "Everybody breathe," and the House Band starts into "Every Breath You Take" while Dilana Lamaze-coaches the audience through the intro. Dilana's voice sounds unexpectedly pretty on this -- soft, smooth, and without the usual gravel in her throat. But then I'm completely distracted by trying to figure out what the fuck is going on with her eyes. You've heard of false eyelashes? These are bald-faced lie-lashes. They're hot pink and they curl up and out, almost past the sides of her head. Like she's got flamingo feathers glued to her eyelids, if not entire flamingos. I try to remember that she's also singing. She stays strong through the bridge, even on that long and high "pleeeeease." And then, when the Police sort of hum "da nah nah, da nah nah" on the record, Dilana just can't resist the temptation to keep humming "Dilana." Oh, that's dumb. An eyebrow sardonically peeks over Lukas's sunglasses. Dilana gets through the whole song without waggling her tongue once. Wait, there it is. Hi, Dilana's tongue!
Dave starts by complimenting Dilana on the window treatments protruding from her face. "You kinda look like Bambi," he mocks. "I'll kick Bambi's arse," Dilana grumps back. Gilby tells her, "You're instincts are so good, man." I'm not sure about the instinct that led her to sing her own name, but whatever. In the Nut Gallery, Lukas pouts. Dave says that if this were a nudity contest between her and Toby, Dilana would win. Dilana agrees, then sticks her tongue out at Toby. Put that thing away. Dave flirts that song selection this week will be at his place, "which, incidentally, has a swimming pool." Tommy objects, saying that he's got a pool, too. Rather than pointing out that nobody ever drowned in Dave's pool, Dave says his is Olympic-sized. Tommy gracefully concedes. I'm glad they all agree on how best to sexually harass the contestants. Jason asks why Dilana was "willing to run around the pool nekkid" for this song. Dilana says that she hasn't spoken to her mom in years, and this is her mom's favorite song. Although she might have a new one by now. Dilana says that she has "bittersweet" memories of the song, and says she hopes her mom knows someday that she did it. Jason says the performance did indeed seem heartfelt, and Dave cuts her loose before this goes completely Ya-Ya Sisterhood on us.
Brooke introduces Toby and "his own arrangement of the classic tune, 'Layla.'" Yeah, if Eric Clapton has done it in wildly divergent ways his own self, you're going to have to do something new with it as well. Toby's version starts out with just Rafael playing the signature lead part in a low octave, while Nate the Drummer taps some cymbals and the rest of the House Band sits out. Toby sings the first verse quiet and low from under the hood of his zip-up sweatshirt. After the first chorus, the band stops and then kicks in full-strength, Rafael's guitar screaming out that Clapton lick for all it's worth. Toby gets into the song for real, which we can all relate to. Because, you know, it's about being in love with the wife of your best friend, who happens to be George Harrison, and who among us hasn't been there? Toby shouts out the second verse high and loud while the House Band pounds out the chords. And then, during Rafael's solo, Toby strips off his hoodie, sort of revealing something written on his torso. Shirtless, Toby scrambles over to the Nut Gallery and leads the Supernovices and the audience in a little sing-along over just the drums. "What's that say on his chest?" I lip-read Gilby asking Tommy. Looks like Toby scribbled "EVS" on there in black marker. Toby gets back to the stage by cutting behind the proscenium support on stage right, and leaps off the drum riser for a big, loud ending.
Dave calls Toby "the Thunder from Down Under," like every Australian doesn't get called that every time they come to the U.S. Dave asks what EVS stands for, and Toby explains that it's a catchphrase from Melbourne: "It means 'whatevah.'" Well, that's not exactly triumphant, is it? Dave assures him that it was not a "whatever" performance. Having gotten an overdue reminder that hey, Toby's Australian, Tommy "Hello, mate"s him and asks how he's feeling. "A little bit uncomfortable now the song's finished, but otherwise all right," Toby admits. The other Supernovices crack up. Tommy says that he's sure the ladies loved it. The ladies in the audience scream their agreement. The ones we can hear, at least. Gilby brings up the risk thing he's always going on about, and says that Toby did that changing the arrangement of a classic. He says he didn't care for the arrangement, but that Toby made up for it with the performance. "Amazing," Gilby calls it. I disagree; I thought the arrangement was kind of cool. Toby has to stand topless to Brooke while she gives the voting spiel before the commercial. How far did he throw that shirt, anyway?
Brooke tells us that Lukas is doing "All These Things That I've Done" by the Killers, and I get all excited because I love this song. Paul the Keyboard Player hits the organ chords that sound like a hymn, and Lukas starts singing the slow intro in his high, clear voice. The band comes in, and Lukas sings the verse in his usual voice. And to Nate the Drummer, for some reason. Jason looks at Lukas thoughtfully. Going into the chorus, Lukas shakes his aviator sunglasses right off his face. He spends the chorus alternately working the front row and the band, and then goes right into the "I've got soul but I'm not a soldier" part. Lukas messes with his hair in the reflection from the mirror-finished guitar Rafael's playing on this song. This part of the song is lacking most of its drama, what with there being no gospel chorus or whatever. Also, this song has one of my favorite bass lines of anything currently out, but Sasha the Bassist, who I usually love, lets me down a little bit. Lukas dances through the ending and finishes up with a last, long, "Hold on."
Dave tells Lukas -- who has retrieved his sunglasses and stuck them on his head -- that he did a great job. Shot of some random guy in the audience, shaking his head and looking pissed. Pretty invested, that random guy. The Supernovices look bored. Tommy pronounces, "Two words: check, please!" And then he tosses his mic on the coffee table. I have no idea what that means. Lukas clearly decides to take it as a compliment, though, if for no other reason than that he's Lukas. Gilby agrees that Lukas did a great job, but wants to know why Lukas is always turning his back to the audience. Lukas says it's because he gets into playing with the House Band. Gilby basically tells him that's fine, but knock it off. Jason just compliments Lukas's energy. Brooke gives Lukas's voting numbers, and opens the voting. Rock the vote! Oh, and Brooke again mentions something about Supernova tickets, in case you care.
Initial bottom three? Patrice, Storm, and Toby. They're making Brooke hold one of those new phones whose commercials I'm so damn sick of on this show, and she's demonstrating how we can use our own phones to download Rock Star-related crap to our tiny little screens and even tinier speakers. Brooke also tells us we can use text messaging to vote on what songs the Supernovices will sing week, or we can vote on the Rock Star website (find it yourself -- I'm not their pimp). And what about the Supernova ticket thing she's been teasing us with all night? Well, apparently the tickets are already on sale. Okay, that was easy. We even have time for a quick word of thanks for the House Band. Brook doesn't say their last names, but I'm going to, because these guys rule: Paul Mirkovich on keyboards, Jim McGorman on guitar, Rafael Moriera on lead guitar, Sasha Krivtsov on bass, and Nate Morton on drums. Thanks, House Band! As always, you were responsible for an inordinately high percentage of this show's awesomeness.
Oh, remember Chopper? During the credits, the last thing we see before the Mark Burnett production card is Tommy getting right down in the dog's face and waggling his tongue. Chopper nervously licks Tommy' tongue right back. Damn, that's unsanitary. Who knows what kind of gnarly pathogens just got passed to that dog?
Wednesday
Still changing up the intro segment, I see, because Brooke's got the seven Supernovices lined up to her on the stage instead of sitting in the Nut Gallery. Brooke goes for ominous as she tells them, "Enjoy the applause, because for one of you, it's going to be your last night on this stage." Patrice is already getting her bottom-three smile warmed up as Brooke dispatches them back to the Nut Gallery. Brooke introduces Supernova and her "wingman," Dave. That word, I do not think it means what she thinks it means. They remind us that there's going to be another Supernova performance, fronted by one of the remaining Supernovices. But before we get to that, Brooke sets the wayback machine to last night. If you need to be reminded what happened, that's what the numbers at the bottom of your computer screen are for.
Back at the Mansion, the Supernovices are sitting down to dinner, and Dilana opens up the post-mortem discussion with this charming tidbit: "I just want to say, Ryan, you would have been nothing without that House Band." Okay, I know I just complimented the House Band, too, but I wasn't quite so rude about it. The room goes quiet, and Ryan's like, "Thanks?" There's an unnecessary interview clip where Ryan tells us what just happened. And then we're back in the dining room, where Dilana refuses to shut up. "You rocked," she clarifies, and Ryan thanks her again. "But without that House Band...." Ryan tries to stop her right there, but Dilana insists, "That's the way I want to say it." Ryan tells the interview camera, "Come on, just let me have a moment. Let me have one thing." Sitting at home, Dana's like, "Hey!"
Dilana still won't let it go, though, and even pursues Ryan outside, where he and Magni are having a smoke. "You know why I'm getting more votes than you, Ryan?" Dilana smugs. "'Cause you're prettier?" Ryan tries. Dilana self-righteously explains, "Because from week one, I gave everything I had." Magni tries to jump in indignantly at the implication that everyone else is just coasting. There's some tense crosstalk, and then Magni gets in a dig about Dilana doing the same thing every week, bumping fists kind of obnoxiously with Ryan as he does so. "I need eyelashes!" Magni mocks. Ryan gives the interview camera a little lecture on good sportsmanship, which Dilana isn't so much displaying this week. You can hear the studio audience reacting to this, and they sound like they're down with Ryan.
Then, in the morning, the Supernovices make an amazing discovery: people are talking about them on the internet! Oh, please. I don't believe that for a second. you're going to tell me that some wiseass loser in the Midwest whose musical experience consists of five years in a basement band is recounting the events of every single episode. Pull the other one, show. The Supernovices are all gathered around a laptop, looking at a product-placed internet site (not this one). Dilana's smiling web photo pops up, and Magni asks, "Why can't you be that happy in the house?" Storm interviews about fan sites, and then they all read what people post on the message boards about them. Get out! Toby expresses amazement that anyone would go to the trouble to post comments about them on a website. No shit, man, who would do that? It goes on forever, and the overall point is, internet: good. I should check it out sometime. Storm reads a message from someone saying that it's down to Dilana and Ryan as far as they're concerned, and that Supernova should make them both singers. "Oh, no!" Dilana wails. "I'd shoot myself in the head," Ryan vows. Dilana agrees, with her customary charm this week, "I'd shoot you." Ryan just gives an irritated eye-roll at that. Dilana later interviews that that's the last thing she would have thought of. "Ryan and I fronting Supernova? Over my dead body."
Back in the auditorium, Brooke acts all shocked at Dilana's and Ryan's antics. As for Dave, he says, "The [product placed website] is definitely causing a ruckus back at the Mansion." For her part, Dilana looks seriously irritated and uncomfortable. Behind her, Ryan grins gleefully. Dave gives a little lecture about how the internet allows musicians to have connections with their fans. Yeah, Dave, tell it to Sorkin. That said, Dave turns to Dilana, who appears to dread what's coming. He points out that it was the fans' idea (okay, one fan) for her to front the band with Ryan, so who is she to act that way about it? Dilana starts by telling Ryan that she loves him, and she mock-apologizes. "Obviously this week, I'm the big bitch," she digs, because after all these years of reality television, the "Why didn't they use any of the footage of me not being an asshole?" defense on these shows never gets old. Dilana says that she'd hate to be on tour with anybody and share the stage. So who needs Supernova? "I want to be the singer for a band," she says. "I don't want to be one of two singers in a band." You haven't won yet, lady.
Dave then asks if Dilana was joking when she made her comment about Ryan being nothing without the House Band. To be fair, I think Dilana legitimately screws up here by saying that she wasn't joking. She's saying it in a backing-off tone, not a defiant tone, so I seriously think that she just misspeaks under the pressure. She's setting up to say more, but the audience moans like she means it, and she realizes what she just said and backs off. Dave points out, "The reality is, what would any of you be without the House Band?" Nobody can disagree with that, even Lukas. Dave asks Dilana whether she is threatened by "The Dark Horse." Dilana denies it. Dave asks for Ryan's take on the situation, and Ryan says that this was the most graceful Dilana's been in a while. Dilana takes visible offense at this and whips around to glare at Ryan, who insists he means it as a good thing. She angrily mouths "whatever" as Ryan goes on about Dilana being the frontrunner, and, as such, showing disrespect by talking down to others and making it harder for people to like her. So he's really just looking out for her when he wants her to quit being mean to him. Dilana's seriously pissed.
Brooke flogs the website contest, telling us we can win tickets to the show's finale on 9/13. She then reminds us that Dilana (who is still sulking) sang with Supernova last week, and we're about to find out who's singing with the band tonight.
Clip time! The Supernovices pile into a product-placed pickup/SUV hybrid monstrosity and head back to the recording studio to meet Supernova. They all take turns singing part of a different song from last week. It starts with a "hey hey hey, ho ho ho," which is always a good sign. Magni sings a bit, then Patrice interviews that it's getting tough for Supernova to choose (though not where Patrice is concerned, she doesn't say). Lukas sings, Ryan sings and gives another unilluminating interview, Patrice sings, Dilana sings, Storm sings, Dilana again, Ryan again, and Toby, and Lukas sings the last line. Magni interviews that there's no margin for error any more. Now that Zayra's gone, he doesn't add. And in the recording studio, Toby finishes up and takes off his headphones.
And then we're back in the auditorium to find out who's singing tonight's song with Supernova. Jason reminds us that this is going to happen every week from now on. As for the one they chose tonight, Jason says, "If the Thunder from Down Under could keep his shirt on for a minute...." The crowd cheers as Toby heads over to the stage to meet Supernova.
Brooke introduces "Supernova featuring Toby Rand on vocals." There's a lot less buildup this time, but we still go to that tape-to-film look for the actual performance. The song itself isn't very fast, which you can tell because Tommy keeps on both his shirts when he drums. The music is all crunchy, staccato guitar chords, and the verse isn't so much singing as some arrhythmic talking. Which Toby pulls off just fine. The chorus is more "hey hey hey, ho ho ho," and Gilby does some backing vocals. Toby gets a bit of an American accent talking through the second verse, which is weird. And then he sticks out an arm and I'm confused to see that the tattoo on his arm that I've always thought read "MUSIC" actually says "MIWSIC." I hope somewhere in Melbourne there's a defrocked tattoo artist. The band gets through the whole song without ever doing a solo. Then they're done, and they all come out to the end of the runway to take their bow with Brooke. She sends us to commercial with a promise to tell us who the bottom three is, and we're out. But not before we get a look at Dilana, sitting stock-still in the Nut Gallery so as not to turn around and bury a boot heel in Ryan's throat.
Commercials. It can't be good that I dig the "Lunch Lady" song by the bad high-school band in the Kmart ad more than the Supernova song we just heard.
Coming back, Brooke tells the Supernovices that there's more to this gig than singing: "You also have to deal with the press." Conveniently, the finalists had a chance to practice doing just that this week when a bunch of media types converged on the Mansion to do some interviews. Let's go to the clip.
We see Lukas shaking hands with an interviewer and sitting down with a winning smile and that spectacular L.A. skyline view behind him. Damn, visibility must be over a mile today. Lukas interviews -- a Rock Star interview like we've had all along, not the one he's doing for practice -- that talking to the press is part of being a rock star and you have to know how to handle it. Lukas's interviewer, some dude named Mark Long from Fox Reality Remix (who nonetheless looks familiar to me for some reason) asks him if he was a fan of the Supernova guys when he was growing up. Lukas overshares that he lost his virginity to a Metallica song. "Unforgiven," he elaborates. "Mine was New Edition," Long cracks. Lukas pretends to be amused.
Elsewhere on the property, Toby is talking to one Kevin Dickson from In Touch magazine, who asks Toby if he thinks he could survive a year on tour. "Depends on what medicines are being created right now," Toby deflects, and Dickson acts like that's funny. Neither of them mentions that as of now, the Supernova tour is only scheduled to be two months long. By the way, here in the Twin Cities, it's booked for the same room where we used to have our "Festival of Nations."
Inside the Mansion, a really mean-looking blonde woman named Jamie White from some radio station asks Ryan if he thinks Dilana has the edge in the competition. Ryan readily admits as much. Remember, this happened before the taping of last night's performance show, so he's probably not irritated with her yet. While Ryan's elaborating, Jason wanders into the room, being quite intimidating simply by not looking at Ryan and sitting down across the room, yet making it clear that he's listening closely. Ryan is clearly thrown by this unexpected development. He acts like he's live on the air, instead of interrupting himself to say hey, which is totally what I would do. Jason tells us that "there's a lot of crash-course stuff involved." We see him drifting quietly but conspicuously around the grounds, eavesdropping on other interviews. Lukas is having his turn with the guy from In Touch, who asks if Lukas thinks any of the Supernovices is faking. Lukas says sure, but declines to elaborate. "I don't wanna dog anybody, dude," he demurs. Remember that Lukas, who loves to say rude things to people and then claim he's "just being honest," actually showed some discretion. Jason tells us that if you shit-talk somebody else in the press, "there will be repercussions."
Oh, dear, here's Dilana, whose mouth hasn't gotten her in enough trouble already tonight. She tells Jamie from the radio station that she wants to strangle Lukas at least once every day. Jamie asks her to elaborate, and Dilana is only too happy to keep digging, saying Lukas seems like two different people, and she often wants to "punch his lights out." Does Dilana think nobody's ever going to see or hear this?
Cut to Lukas getting his own turn with Jamie, who tells him what "people" have been saying about him. Lukas hides his irritation (poorly) with a smile as he asks who she's referring to. Jamie says, "I think Dilana wants to save you." Lukas's eyebrows twitch in surprise as Jamie continues selling out Dilana. "Tell her to mind her own business," Lukas finally responds quietly. The auditorium crowd cheers. Later, Lukas tells us that he thinks Dilana's comments are "uncalled-for and cheap."
And then we see Dilana talking herself into yet more trouble to the In Touch guy, claiming to know who's serious about the competition. "Let's name those people right now," Dickson responds, hardly believing his luck. Dilana immediately gives up Toby and Magni. And then Dilana sits by the pool later, telling us, "It's a hard thing to answer, but at the end of the day, I keep saying to myself, 'still a contest.'" Which she thinks she can win by transparently sandbagging everyone else, it seems.
Back in the auditorium, the audience "whoas" ominously at Dilana, who just sits there shaking her head. Dave is basically spluttering in disbelief. "What the hell are you thinking?" he demands of Dilana. He says that she's been doing well performance-wise. Dilana says nothing. Dave tells her, "Take it from me...I've made this mistakes before and I paid for them. You never bag on your peers like that." Dilana sits and takes it, but makes it worse when she takes up in her own defense. She claims that what she said to Jamie was that she sees herself and Lukas as being similar to each other, with similar upbringings, and she wants to take him under his wing like a mother dove. I'm not making that up. Lukas grumps, "I don't need a dove, by the way. I don't need a dove or a wing." Dilana says that she's sorry, but she cares about Lukas. Lukas still looks unimpressed. Dilana says that she's not a professional; she screwed up, she apologized to everyone she offended, and she's going to learn from it. "Fair enough," Dave concedes over a few scattered cheers and applause in Dilana's support. But he still wants to know why Dilana said those things in the first place. "I'm too honest," Dilana says, straight-faced. "I don't know how to lie." Oh, great. She's already apologized to everyone for what she said, and tonight when they get back to the Mansion she's going to have to apologize again for meaning it. Dave asks for Lukas's reaction. He says he's not surprised, and that he has to live with it, literally. "I'm bigger than that, man," he concludes. Quite an impressive feat on Dilana's part, making Lukas look like the model of tact and discretion. Dave warns them all to develop thick skins, because criticism is going to be coming at them from all sides. "The four of us, dude? We walk around with legitimate targets on our backs." At least he admits they're legitimate. And the Supernovices won't be immune: "Whoever wins this thing is going to be a lead singer who won a reality show." Thanks for putting that in perspective. Interesting that Supernova basically sat that whole lecture out. Probably because they don't want Dilana bitching about them .
Back to Brooke, who says we're at the part of the show where when she says a Supernovice's name, that person has to stand to indicate their status as one of the losers in last night's voting. The first name is Patrice. Poor Patrice. All the standing and sitting she does at these tapings, it must feel like she's in church. is Storm, who stands up with a Jack Black-inspired gesture and facial expression that she probably practiced for hours. And then Toby, whose rise is, as always, met with disappointed groans. Brooke tells us that these Supernovices were in the bottom three as of the end of last night, and that it gets worse from here. But then only Magni has to stand up. So Dilana, Lukas, and Ryan are safe. We'll start finding out who was in the actual bottom three after the commercial.
Back from the break, Brooke explains that of the four standing, three of them are about to be called over to sing a song for Supernova, who will then choose one of them to get the boot. Before dropping names and crushing dreams, Brooke wants the four standees to know that the vote was "incredibly close" last night. That doesn't appear to make any of them feel any better. First one in the bottom three? It's Magni. Ignoring the shocked moan from the audience, Magni heads over to meet Brooke. Jason gives an "I don't get it" head-shake. Magni puts an arm around Brooke, kidding her, "You're mean!" Brooke says it's not her fault. Don't try to engage her in banter, Magni. That's way outside her design parameters. Jason appears to have recovered from his disappointment as he asks Magni what he's going to sing tonight. Magni says he's doing "Fire" by Jimi Hendrix. "AweSOMMME!" Jason sings out gaily, and gives him the green light.
Magni straps on his new sunburst Les Paul for the song and the House Band kicks in. Normally I love the way the House Band sounds, but six people is too many to be covering a Jimi Hendrix tune. You double the number of musicians on the original recording and you're one step away from the marching band version. Magni's singing is strong as always, energetic and fun. The House Band also sounds good on the "let me stand to your fire" backing vocals during the chorus. Jason seems to be having a great time watching this. Even though he's playing guitar, Magni somehow doesn't seem imprisoned behind the mic stand as usually happens. However, if you're waiting for him to take off the guitar and throw it, smash it, or set fire to it, I'll tell you right now that you're going to be disappointed. I'm also disappointed when he doesn't say, "Move over, Rover, and let Magni take over." Apparently there are times when you shouldn't say your own name in the song, no matter how good an excuse you might seem to have. Imagine that. Magni also plays the guitar solo note-for-note, which is cool because I've been waiting for a Supernovice to rip out a hot solo all season. Except Rafael plays it along with him, which by definition makes it not a solo. Magni and Rafael go face-to-face throughout the first solo and the second one, and Sasha goes over to do the same thing with Jim. I guess Nate and Paul will just have to be lonely. But I have to say, as much as I bitched about the details of this performance, Magni and the guys rocked the shit out of it overall. Not worried about Magni tonight. Remember that we don't usually get judges' commentary after bottom three performances, but Tommy can't resist happily yelling, "That was ridiculous!"
Magni takes up his position at stage left. His applause has barely died down when Brooke is ready to read the name. Which you know damn well is Patrice. She sheds her jacket and comes over to the stage. Gilby asks Patrice what she's doing tonight, and Patrice says she's doing "Middle Of The Road" by the Pretenders. "I did an arrangement, too," she adds proudly, like it's going to make a damn bit of difference at this point.
I was wrong. Patrice's arrangement does make a difference. It makes me not want to listen to the song. It starts out with the guitars all flanged and muted and whatnot, like we're listening to Rafael play at the bottom of a well or something. Not a fan. I'm interested to see where the Chrissie Hynde option on this poll goes after this. Other than screwing up the sound and suffering in vocal comparison to the original, Patrice hasn't made that many changes to the song. She even keeps the cat noise before the guitar solo (during which she gets all up in Rafael's space again) and the slow counting after it. I also notice after the solo that she's got something on her upper lip that distracts me for the rest of the song. At the end, she goes over to join Magni at stage left, and as Brooke gives her little spiel before the commercial, we can see the two of them in the background dealing with whatever's stuck to Patrice's face. I won't go into much detail, except to mention that it involves Magni's sleeve.
So who's the last one in the bottom three? It's Toby. As last week, the moment when she learns she's safe is the one time that Storm seems to forget to be "on." Toby heads over in his black wifebeater and jeans to stand to Brooke, who asks Tommy what he thinks. Because it's all about Tommy, he again says that he's getting a complex. Dude, the voting was over before you played with Toby tonight. But imagine how Toby feels: "I'm never taking my top off ever again," he says. In answer to Tommy's question as to what he's going to sing tonight, Toby says, "I chose this song before we started the show." Nice, subtle reminder that this is his first time in the bottom three. He's doing "Plush" by Stone Temple Pilots.
"Come on!" Toby bellows into the mic, and the House Band starts in. Turns out Toby actually has a fairly viable lower register, as he booms (for him) the first verse. In a shout-out to Magni, who last did this song, he goes over to stage left and shares the mic with him for a line. Forgot to tell the Iceman that he's in a different key, so it sounds like ass, but it's a nice gesture. Toby gets through the rest of the song without incident, jumping off the drum riser at the end in sync with Sasha the Bassist. Patrice and Magni join him at the end of the runway to await Supernova's decision, which Brooke promises will come after the break.
Coming back, Brooke asks Gilby whetherSupernova has made a decision. For some reason, the editors keep the whole twenty seconds or so during which Gilby belatedly realizes he's on, grabs his microphone, and collects his thoughts. Patrice is the first one he addresses, saying that he's glad she got to play her song for the world. But being in the bottom three four times is hard for them to ignore. To Magni, Gilby ominously says, "Two weeks in a row in the bottom three." Magni says off-mic that it sucks, as Gilby concedes that Magni's performance tonight was "killer." To Toby, Gilby says that they obviously thought he was good enough to sing their song today. "To us, it's insane that you're in the bottom three." Dude, there's only seven of them left. Almost half of them were going to be there. Gilby warns Toby to think about what got him in the bottom three, but he can do his thinking back in the Nut Gallery, because he's safe. That leaves Tommy facing Magni and Patrice. "Chop chop," Patrice says quietly, which could either mean "do your thing, hatchet man," or "get it over with already." Probably both. Tommy looks pained, barely able to look at Patrice as he says that they have to listen to the fans that buy their tickets. All ten of them. He even buries his face in his lap to say, "You're the to go." Patrice doesn't look any more surprised than the rest of us as Magni gives her a hug and returns to the Nut Gallery. Patrice raises her arms triumphantly on the spot of shame, and gets a loud cheer from everyone in the room. Patrice's farewell speech is short and sweet. She says that she's a fan of the band, and this is near the top of the "list of amazing things I've done in my life." Dave all but hits a button that opens the trap door she's standing on.
Brooke does some lightning-quick math and says that with the ninth Supernovice gone and only six left, week should be pretty intense. Also, it's "viewer's choice week," in which we get to vote on what each contestant sings. In case you care. Looks like it's all songs that have already been sung this season, and no write-ins. I think we could have had some fun with that.
Post-eviction interviews: Magni claims that he has no problem being in the bottom three. Got used to that in a hurry, did we? He says they'll all miss Patrice, just like they miss everyone. Well, except Zayra. Toby claims that it was exciting to be in the bottom three, especially after getting to sing with Supernova. That does make him the first Supernovice to sing twice in one night. And he says that this week he's going to focus on doing an original. Is that one of the viewers' choice options?