By Potes
After a commercial break, Lacey's still on the fucking couch. Riki asks the rest of the girls to comment on Lacey. Mia says that one day, Lacey decided she was going to run streaking through the house while everyone else was having a barbeque. Mia wound up with a whole lot of uninvited firecrotch in her face and was forced to throw her strawberry daiquiri on it. She says, "If you're gonna streak, that's your own will, but don't come up to me if it's not well maintained." Oooh, she got the Vanessa Hudgens treatment! Lacey's all, "Who is that, was she on the show?" and Mia says that at least she was able to leave with her dignity. She gets a big round of applause.
Oh, and then it's the story of friends torn apart. Yes, it's time to take a look at Heather and Lacey. The whole montage is from the "Meet the Parents" episode, which is really all you need. Heather, who is rocking some long extensions, comes up on stage to friendly applause. Riki asks her how Lacey rode her coattails. Heather says that Lacey made an alliance with her then turned on her, and that's when she lost it. Riki asks if there's a friendship between them now. Lacey says that she's hurt by the fact that Heather thinks she was riding her coattails. She was attracted to Heather as a friend because she's a strong woman. She does acknowledge that it was wrong of her to go talk to Bret about Heather's relationship with her parents before talking to Heather about it and apologizes. However, she says, the way that Heather retaliated against her was below the belt. Heather apologizes for that, saying that it made her look bad too, and she doesn't really think Lacey is a whore. First of all, it made Heather look awesome, and second of all, she does really think that Lacey is a whore. But whatever, friends again, blah blah blah. They hug, and Riki says they should hug and make out. He's as much of a douche as Bret.
Lacey finally gets the hell off of the stage, and we get to spend more time with Heather. We get a montage of Heather and Bret's connection, and Heather's connection with a tattoo needle, with bonus footage of Jes telling us that this bitch has lost her fucking mind. Riki asks what she was thinking with the tattoo. Heather says that she's gotten a few more since then, and asks if we want to see her newest one. Riki takes off a bandage on the back of her neck to reveal a "sucks" below "Bret." Riki says sarcastically that he's glad to see she's not bitter, and Heather reveals that it's a joke -- a hilarious joke! No one is laughing, but the audience claps for her anyway. Oh, and then Bret comes out! He gives Heather a hug. Riki asks if there was a time on the show when there were feelings between him and Heather. Bret says that there wasn't a time when there WEREN'T feelings between him and Heather. They hit it off from the get-go. Riki asks if Heather still feels "anger feelings" toward Bret. Heather says he hurt her, but she's not angry. And then Bret says that it was kind of a turn-on. If you hurt someone and they're not angry and upset, that's the first sign that they didn't give a crap. Well, how convenient that you've decided to hurt them, then. Bret says his decision was difficult to make and he thinks that he and Heather could have a great friendship AND sexual relationship, but in this show he had to choose. And then I don't know what the fuck the two of them start talking about -- it's all, ha ha, we're hilarious, bitter beer face shoot me the finger, ha. The hell? Riki says that this is proof that this wasn't all for TV -- there was something happening between them on the show, and there's something happening now, and it's genuine. And I actually think that's true.
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5
- 6
- 7
- 8