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11-11 2002.09.02 |
Sarah Is Lucky A thumbnail sketch of the episode until the full recap goes live. |
| 11-11 Recaplet |
Sarah Is Lucky
Sarah Is Lucky - A thumbnail sketch of the episode until the full recap goes live. |
2002.09.02 2002.09.03 |
Stee |
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| 11-10 Recap |
No Time Is a Good Time for Goodbyes
Out With the Suck, In With the Suck - The voting continues and Sarah doesn't get the reprieve she (and her parents who have to see her now) was hoping for. As we like to say around the forums: here comes the boot! The decision makes the one hold-out, Kendal, question her relationship with Eric. Girl should have done that two months ago. We also meet the new bleh. |
2002.08.19 2002.08.25 |
C |
Stee |
| 11-9 Recap |
This Boot Is Made For Sarah
Que Sarah Sarah - Ooooooklahoma! where Sarah goes running back to home. Yeah, this is the beginning of the end for Sarah, folks, when the team fails a car surfing mission. The kids then spend the rest of the episode agonizing over the decision of whether to boot someone or give up their prizes, but like it's Sophia's Choice, all crying all over the place. |
2002.08.12 2002.08.18 |
B- |
Stee |
| 11-8 Recap |
Yes-He's-Gay
He Was A Gay Stripper, Sunday Driver Yeah - All Shane's troubles seemed so far away/ Now he needs a place to prance and play/ Make no mistake, that Shane is gay/ Suddenly, Shane's not half the straight he used to be/ While in Texas learning to Bungee/ Face it, Darrell: Yes-He's-Gay |
2002.08.05 2002.08.11 |
C- |
Stee |
| 11-7 Recap |
Still Life
When The Hell Is Sarah Going To Leave? - The kids stay in New Orleans and are forced by B/M to get naked. That's the whole mission: "Be naked." Finally B/M gets down to what we really want. Too bad it was with this cast. |
2002.07.29 2002.08.04 |
C+ |
Stee |
| 11-6 Recap |
Or Not To Bee
Cameltoe - The kids. New Orleans. Fake Fear Factor. James from Season Nine. Bees and Spiders. Alligators. Darrell and Rachel. Lameness. |
2002.07.22 2002.07.29 |
D |
Stee |
| 11-5 Recap |
The Bitchslap Heard 'Round the RV
Sarah Sucks - Though it's really not a big deal, B/M and the kids both treat Shane's stupid but innocuous slap of Darrell as this major thing -- particularly, one gets the sense, because Shane is gay and Darrell is homophobic. This is how B/M tells the story. You be the judge. Oh yeah, also, the kids do a pole-sitting contest where they get rotten food thrown at them, and surprise, Sarah blows it. |
2002.07.15 2002.07.21 |
C+ |
Stee |
| 11-4 Recap |
Fixed
Half Stepping - The kids go to Atlanta and compete in a step contest at a university, against the kids from MTV.com. They totally lose, but somehow, don't. Also, everyone suddenly hates Shane. ("Suddenly?" says his home town.) |
2002.07.08 2002.07.14 |
C |
Stee |
| 11-3 Recap |
Plateen
Sarah Falls...Twice - As if the defenders of this country don't have enough to deal with right now, they're forced to "train" our teen and recent teen Six of Suck at the Citadel for a few days. Some unlucky cadets are relegated to making like Lou Gossett Jr. and then shamelessly plugging no-name dot-coms as they give the kids their undeserved prizes. Oh yeah, did Stee mention Sarah falls twice? |
2002.07.01 2002.07.07 |
C+ |
Stee |
| 11-2 Recap |
Stunted Growth
Roll Your Own - The kids make like stuntmen and try to flip a car off a ramp. Yes, it's actually a cool mission, for once. But don't worry -- Stee's sure they'll be back to stuff like Competitive Walking and Bobbing For Apples next week. Oh, and yeah, people hate Sarah more and more, until there is a big Scooters vs. Sarah vote. I guess for some it would depend on which they'd prefer to ride. |
2002.06.24 2002.06.28 |
B- |
Stee |
| 11-1 Recap |
What Bright Side?
This One Goes To Eleven - Six kids in an RV doing missions. Again. |
2002.06.17 2002.06.24 |
B- |
Stee |
| 10-16 Recap |
Hit The Road Jack
Sing, Fat Lady, Sing - Here is a list of things that are more emotionally affecting than the last episode of this criz-nap season of the show B/M seriously needs to pay more attention to in the future: Seeing a dead snail. The One starring Jet Li. Getting to the last Diet Coke in a twelve-pack. A junior-high production of The Normal Heart. Breaking a shoelace. Jennifer Love Hewitt's performance in the new Enrique Iglesias video. Gum. Dawson's pops getting killed (okay, now we're pushing it). Come read as Stee sits through the tears (all from ADDam) and the incredible relief on the other six's faces (including Stee) to finally be rid of him. |
2001.10.29 2001.10.31 |
D |
Stee |
| 10-15 Recap |
Saving Private Steven
What Is It Good For? (Absolutely Nothing) - Because even Bunim and Murray haven't watched an episode of Road Rules since '98, MTV decides to cram the last two episode of this half-baked, half-cocked, half-assed season into one night, so they can use the precious Monday night Ten Spot for things people want to watch more, like Spyder Games, reruns of the 1997 MTV Movie Awards, and Diary of The Drummer from Linkin Park -- "You think you know, but you have no interest." Aside from tears and unearned sentimentality, this penultimate episode sees the Six of Suck back in America playing war games. Oh, and next time you're in battle and you yell, "Medic!," be careful, because you might just get one of these idiots. |
2001.10.29 2001.10.30 |
C- |
Stee |
| 10-14 Recap |
This Is What Happens
Oil Wrestling And Vinegar - In another one of B/M's clever uses of The Time Line as offensive weapon to cause confusion, disorientation, and eventually surrender in recappers, the Real World crew is back -- even though we already saw them visit Morocco in a Real World episode months ago. This time, the crews battle in a three-event challenge which actually is the first of their missions that has made me actually glad I don't have to participate, and not just because I would hate to have to interact with most of these people. |
2001.10.22 2001.10.23 |
B+ |
Stee |
| 10-13 Recap |
Katie Did It
If You Can't Stand The Smell, Stay Out Of The Tannery - For some reason -- probably more easily attributed to B/M's terrible planning than anything else -- the kids are told to go back to Morocco, where they're given yet another job. (Man, these kids get more jobs than Justin Timberlake sitting alone in the back of a gay porno theatre.) Their new gig is to work in a tannery, but Katie almost gets them all killed by complaining, moaning, bitching, and nearly-gagging the entire time. Granted, they are up to their privates in pigeon shit, but still. Okay, fine, Stee might be bitching, too. |
2001.10.15 2001.10.17 |
C |
Stee |
| 10-12 Recap |
Sucking And Entering
Been Caught Stealing - The kids get their coolest mission yet: to break into an ancient Spanish fortress using ropes and night-vision goggles, and steal their piece of the crest without being detected. Naturally, they fuck it up big time. Oh yeah -- there is also a tacked-on scene in which they try to make it look like Steve and Katie are going to get down, only to have them both insist that nothing is going to happen and that they are just friends. Exciting! |
2001.10.08 2001.10.10 |
C |
Stee |
| 10-11 Recap |
Old People Are Stupid
Sophia Kills An Old Man - Sophia and Ellen bond (sorta) over their mutual fear of letting their parents know who they really are. Well, hell, if it was that easy, our entire generation would be in one big-ass group hug. Since B/M has no fucking ideas left, the kids once again have to jump from something tall. This time, it's a bungee jump over some Spanish gorge. This time they have to find old folks to jump with them. I guess they don't have the same sort of lawsuit system in Spain, because if they tried that shit in America, you can bet there would be some seniors with slipped disks and their gnarled hands out. |
2001.10.01 2001.10.03 |
C- |
Stee |
| 10-10 Recap |
The Dating Lame
Blind (And Dumb) Date - After a 9/11-sensitive shuffling of the episodes, the kids need money once again, and earn money by being whores (well, going out on dates and getting paid for it, which really isn't much different). |
2001.09.24 2001.09.26 |
B- |
Stee |
| 10-9 Recap |
If You Build It, They Will Suck
Tower of Sour - B/M crappily crafts a show about how much Ellen hates the group and how much everyone hates Ellen -- and then throws in some crap where they have to earn the Crest of Trust by building a human tower somewhere in Spain, even though it seems as though the involved events most likely happened months away from each other. Par for the suck. |
2001.09.10 2001.09.13 |
D |
Stee |
| 10-8 Recap |
Suck It Up
Chef Hat Riot - B/M, perhaps realizing that they've created yet another ridiculously stupid episode, throw us a bone (no pun intended) by offhandedly revealing that Ellen and ADDam have been having oral sex with each other in the Tioga. And though it really doesn't matter after that, the kids do some retarded mission involving a meringue fight and then get money they don't actually earn. |
2001.09.03 2001.09.05 |
C+ |
Stee |
| 10-7 Recap |
Legally Bland
There's a New Girl In Town, and She's Looking Blah - ADDam makes a very important document in preparation for the arrival of the new cast member, sent to replace Jisyella. The new girl is Katie -- which comes as a surprise to absolutely no one on or watching the show -- and she doesn't suffer fools gladly. She dispenses with the niceties as quickly as she whips out her Daddy's Visa card back home, refusing to be hazed by Adam and his Stupid List of Pranks to Make the New Girl Earn Her Spot. The kids go through with a lame sliding-through-fire mission, and then argue a wee tiny bit. What's Spanish for "yawn"? |
2001.08.20 2001.08.23 |
C |
Stee |
| 10-6 Recap |
See You Jiselater
Don't Let Spain Hit You On The Way Out - The kids continues their desuckalon, failing the mission as Jisela refuses to rappel down the mountain. B/M then draws the shit out of the decision-making on who to boot, when really there is no choice. Sophia and Jisela naturally stick together and vote against Ellen, while the other kids' decisions supposedly remain up in the air for a tension-filled twenty-two minutes. In the end, you know what happens. (Hint: the decision makes Sophia cry like Beyoncé begging her father to let her take a short nap before their next forty-nine gigs.) |
2001.08.13 2001.08.15 |
B |
Stee |
| 10-5 Recap |
Man, Those Kids Are Rappelant
Come Together, Right Now, Over Stee - The kids get all Iron Man on us as the beleaguered Spanish extreme sport B/M whores try to get the Six of Suck to bike ride, jog, slide, swim, and rappel within two and a half hours. Naturally, many things do not cooperate: the equipment, the weather, Jisela. Ellen does some showboating and ends up fucking up. Jisela saves her and everything looks disgustingly peachy keen. But just when the bile begins to rise in our throats from the sweetness, it's Jisela's turn to rappel, and all blah breaks blah. |
2001.08.06 2001.08.09 |
B- |
Stee |
| 10-4 Recap |
Bye-Curious
Ain't No Mountain High Enough...To Keep Jisela From Yelling At Everyone - Jisela acts like a terrible friend when she pals around with Sophia and then, behind her back, starts telling everyone that she thinks Sophia is trying to get some, "24-7." Didn't we retire "24-7" yet, along with "Audi 5000" and "raise the roof"? Stee thought we had. Also, Ellen and ADDam fight, but then Adam gets food poisoning and Ellen goes into nurse mode. (No, she doesn't take her boobie out for that. Pervs.) The kids then prepare for the mission that gets Jisela booted...er, "the climbing mission" where Jisela -- shocker -- yells at everyone. |
2001.07.30 2001.08.02 |
C- |
Stee |
| 10-3 Recap |
Funky Old Medina
When It Absolutely, Positively, Has To Suck - The Six of Suck, having never learned the value of money, are broke and hungry, and thus, B/M sets them up with a job. They're given a few donkeys and a few hours to deliver a bunch of goods to different merchants through the cramped streets of a medina in Fes. However, there is a catch: they are the Road Rulers. Also...ADDam's off his meds again. Surprise surprise surprise. |
2001.07.23 2001.07.24 |
B- |
Stee |
| 10-2 Recap |
Get your bitch on
You Down With ADD? - Jisela's claws come out in a way that they couldn't last week because she was getting to know everyone, or on the Casting Special when Coral's bitch shadow was looming too large over everyone. The object of Jisela's rage is Adam, who, out of nowhere, starts acting like a tool. We learn, however, in a pussy-ass revelation, that he suffers from ADD. Jisela and ADDam kiss and make up. Oh yeah, the kids do some snake charming. It might be pretty scary when you're there, but it's a bit like Extreme Babysitting where I'm sitting. |
2001.07.16 2001.07.18 |
C |
Stee |
| 10-1 Recap |
We're Whining On The Marrakech Express
Three Kings, Two Queens, and One Brat - Well, even though everyone else has, MTV still hasn't given up on Road Rules. This season, Stee will be forced to sit through the latest in Road Rules's constant and by now just plain pathetic attempt to find an identity. This time out, it looks to be some weird Suvivor-meets-Indiana Jones thing involving the new Six of Suck trying to find ten pieces of some ancient something. Whatever -- it's still just The Real World in an RV. |
2001.07.09 2001.07.13 |
B |
Stee |
| Extra |
The Real World/Road Rules Casting Special
The Real World/Road Rules Casting Special - Bunim-Murray finally realizes that, this year, they've got some competition in the reality-show field. So, they forego their normal casting special and instead put on a week-long extravaganza to see which finalists will debase themselves in front of the cameras the most. And then, they don't even cast the guy who painted his head white and cried three times. |
2001.06.29 2001.06.29 |
B |
Kim |
| Extra |
Man, I Don't See How Bunim/Murray Silenced This Girl
Msaada Speaks. Stee Listens. Bunim/Murray Cringes. - Stee listens and listens and listens as our favorite and least shown Road Ruler talks about everything from the audition process to the Kat/Laterrian make-out drama to the special love between Theo and James. |
2001.02.23 2001.02.23 |
Stee |
|
| 9-19 Recap |
Going To The Chapel And We're Gonna Get Cancelled
Going To The Chapel And We're Gonna Get Cancelled - Voice I Don't Care About tells the Six of Suck (well, Five but that doesn't alliterate) that they've accepted their marriage mission. Graphic of Stupid. One more thing I won't miss. "Get Married In 24 Hours With A 5000 Dollar Limit." |
2000.10.23 2000.10.23 |
Stee |