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Finally, the flashback we were all waiting for: we learn that before the blackout, whiny, ineffectual U.S. government bureaucrat Ed Truman was a whiny, ineffectual U.S. government soldier at Guantanamo Bay, until the whole federal government sailed up. Ed practically jizzed in his pants when the future president (at the time the secretary of defense) explained how America was corrupt and that's why the blackout happened and now they're going to stage a coup and build a new, strong, pure country.
In the present, Ed is pissy and sweaty because Victor Doyle has kicked him out of his office, so Ed teams up with the Nevilles to try to kill or capture Monroe. They fail and Victor threatens to have them and everyone they love horribly murdered.
Rachel has suddenly become a compassionate lady who doesn't like murdering people anymore, so when Miles and Monroe capture a couple of patriot child spies, she refuses to let the brothers M kill them. They discover that the kids have been tortured and brainwashed -- and they each have a five-digit number tattooed inside their lower eyelids that, if read aloud, will turn them into mindless zombie killing machines.
Jason Neville obviously has the same trigger, which Victor later on uses to find out what Tom's plan is. And Charlie and Connor are still fucking, which everyone now knows about (except Miles, maybe? It seems like he would be upset).
Aaron and Priscilla spend the whole episode somewhere in Texas eating apples and having sex, until Priscilla accidentally (maybe?) calls all the nano fireflies to her and becomes their queen.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously on Revolution: Aaron dreamed the world was okay, but it turned out to be a nano hoax, successfully fooling him into fixing the hole in the code. And we're back where we left off two weeks ago: Charlie has a tiny army, Monroe and Connor are alive, and Miles and Rachel are in a Mexican standoff with Tom and Jason Neville.
Miles tells Tom to put the gun down. Tom threatens to shoot Rachel if Miles doesn't help him trap Monroe to save Julia's life. Before they can go guns blazing on each other, they're attacked by Victor, Ed, and the patriots. Miles and Rachel successfully flee into the woods and Neville makes his WTF WHITE PEOPLE face.
Back in Willoughby, Neville is disgusted with how Ed blew up the situation the night before. Victor refuses to give him any more men for his pursuit of Monroe, and Neville reminds him that the president sent him on this mission. Victor dismisses Ed from his own office, and Ed goes off to cry about how no one ever respects him, not even that redheaded lady from Wisteria Lane.
Victor monologues that he wanted Neville executed after his and Julia's plot against Victor's life, and he still plans to have them both killed after Neville captures Monroe. If he manages to do it. As employee-incentive programs go, that's a pretty shitty one.
One week later, Charlie, her Monroe men, and her mercenaries are hiking back to Willoughby. Monroe's being all dad-ish about how Charlie is still banging Connor (he makes a pun that manages to be both PG-rated and nauseating when he muses, "Blackout with your cack out," which, what does that even mean, Sebastian), and Charlie's all PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS BEFORE I HURL EVERYWHERE. One mercenary notices people approaching—it's Miles and Rachel, who affectionately greets her daughter by telling her she looks like shit. Miles grouches that they didn't bring back enough men and Monroe's all, I missed you too, now kiss me, you fool. I feel like warning that handsome black mercenary what happens to guest stars of color on this show. He doesn't get a name in this episode, so I'm going to call him Bob.
Gene's still alive! And duct-taping his boot back together. He's noticed what's up between Charlie and Connor, and tells Rachel, who is deep in mom denial. Miles has filled Monroe in on the Neville situation, and Monroe wants to go bump off Neville. But when Miles insists that Monroe come see something important, Monroe whines manfully about his poor achy feetsies and how he wants to be lazy and stuff his face, because he's only interested in standing up and walking around if he gets to shoot people, preferably after torturing them first. He reluctantly follows to see what Miles wanted to show him: the patriot reeducation camp, which is fully stocked with kids and drill sergeants -- and a munitions storage shack full of ammunition for great big guns.
The boyfriends recon the camp companionably while something – someone --observes them from over a ridge. As they head back to camp, Monroe brags about Connor's improving fighting style, then goes off to have a wee. He catches the two escaped patriot kids who'd been spying on them. Miles and Monroe hold them at gunpoint, and then realize they are actual children. And at some point in the past dozen years they've gotten tired of killing children. Well, Miles has.
Two hundred miles outside of Willoughby, Aaron finds an apple tree and brings a few pieces of fruit back to Priscilla at their campfire. She proclaims it the best apple ever, and he asks why she's Princess Sunshine lately. She's just happy to have survived—and with someone she loves. Aaron keeps quiet about his chapped ass, for once.
White House. As the President Davis (we'll learn his name later, but I can't keep calling him The President till that happens) gives his son some ship-coloring-in guidance, Allenford comes in to report on the Willoughby camp: General Carver (the head of the republic of Texas) has no idea what's going on under his nose and the cadets should be ready by the end of the month. The president emphasize how important those cadets are to retaking the continent, and he's particularly worried about Monroe and Miles still being on the loose. He puts basically the entire responsibility for his reconquista on Allenford's shoulders (and Victor's).
Down by the river, Rachel catches Charlie checking out Connor's ass. Monroe and Miles herd their new captives back into camp; Gene recognizes them, calling them Dillon and Kim. Charlie and Connor tie the kids' hands as Charlie tries to make small talk with the girl. Miles's plan is to rob the munitions supply and save as many of the kids as he can. But Gene frets about how many of them will be killed. As the town's doctor, he delivered a lot of those children who've been conscripted.
This week Rachel has decided she's the Earth Mother savior of all mankind rather than a ruthless murderer who's already killed billions, and starts squeaking about how it's pointless to try to save the town if they kill all the children. So…nothing? You'd like to do nothing? Shut UP, Rachel. Monroe's all, who said anything about saving anybody? He just wants his empire back. Miles bursts into tears while the two people he most loves to think about while he masturbates yell at each other.
Rachel brings some food to Dillon and Kim, who very reluctantly accept it, then start stuffing their faces. Gene asks about Kim's black eye, and how the kids ended up in the camp. She snaps that they enlisted…all the children in Willoughby did.
Miles and Monroe squabble: Monroe wants to torture intel out of the kids, while Miles wants Rachel and Gene on their side. Gene and Rachel want take the kids back to their homes and everybody starts shouting and flinging their guns around willy-nilly until Miles jumps in to stop Monroe from shooting everyone. And now they have a bigger problem: they're being watched by Tom and Jason Neville.
Miles wins out over Monroe. As he, Rachel, and Gene escort Kim and Dillon back to town, he says he has no problem with returning these two to their homes, but reminds her that a war means collateral damage. Rachel puts on her bleakest voice to say Danny was collateral damage, and she doesn't know how she can, in good conscience, help Monroe kill anyone else's children. Shut up, Rachel.
At Kim's house, Gene knocks on the door. Kim's dad, Brant, pulls a shotgun on them. Gene puts his hands up and gently explains he's just bringing the kids home. Brant doesn't lower the gun, since Gene is standing to Miles (who the patriots have been saying is a terrorist). Miles points out that children like Kim and Dillon shouldn't be soldiers. Kim says that the patriots blindfold the kids and take them somewhere at night, and when they wake up they don't remember what happened, or how they got hurt.
This seems to get through to Brant; he puts the gun down and cups his daughter's face. With his thumb he nudges down Kim's lower eyelid—she has a number tattooed inside her eyelid oh my godddd. "Five oh two oh seven," he reads. Kim's iris turns black and she says robotically that she doesn't know what he's talking about. Brant asks Gene what happened to his kid—and then she shoots him dead with his own shotgun. (Brant is the prime minister of Malaysia!) Kim goes to shoot again, but the gun jams. She drops it and reaches for a knife with that Terminator must-kill gleam in her eye, then cuts her own throat. And I feel that I must point out again that this show is on at eight o'clock. Seven in Chicago. SEVEN!
Camp Pittman. Priscilla crawls on top of Aaron, waking him; she says she's cold and didn't think he'd mind. He does not mind. She kisses him and whispers that she doesn't want to lose him again. Doesn't Priscilla have, you know, children?
Willoughby. Out on the street, Neville informs Ed that Victor is sending men out to look for Monroe, fruitlessly, because they don't know where he is. Neville does, and he proposes Ed help him catch Monroe, which would elevate them above Victor in the federal government's eyes.
Flashback, six months after the blackout. Corporal Ed, who works at Guantanamo Bay, is handing out meals as the prisoners scream and rattle the doors of their cells. He complains to his superior that they haven't heard from the mainland in months, they're running out of food, and he'd rather let the prisoners starve than starve himself. His CO threatens to charge him with treason, because their orders were to keep the prison running.
They hear a bell ringing outside; out the window, they see ships—the kind with sails—approaching by the dozen. One of them docks and President Davis comes ashore, along with Allenford and what Ed's CO guesses is half the federal government. "Looks like Washington's come to us," he says.
Willoughby. Rachel has determined that Dillon also has numbers tattooed in his eyelid. She's smart enough not to read them aloud. Gene guesses it's posthypnotic suggestion, and the grown-ups go outside to talk while Charlie and Connor keep an eye on Dillon.
Gene pleads for Dillon's life, but Miles is all, that kid is a weapon! He wants to do the smart thing and get rid of a threat. Rachel starts moaning about how she did the smart thing by helping build the nanotech, and going to the Tower, and those decisions cost Danny his life. So now she wants to be a weepy emotional mess and do the right thing, not the smart thing. Miles grims that there is no right thing in war.
The patriots attack Charlie's mercenaries, out in the dark, under Ed's supervision, along with Jason and Tom. Miles and his merry band fight back with their limited ammunition. Hey, here's an idea: turn Dillon loose on 'em. Ed spots Monroe and tries to take him out with a pistol. Silly man. Charlie creeps around a van and runs into Jason, who stammers and bites his lip because he's still in looooove with her. She clubs him bunnies because her new boyfriend is right behind her and things are just complicated right now, you know?
Tom Neville gets the drop on Monroe and disarms him. Monroe manages to knock the gun out of Tom's hand, possibly breaking his wrist. Inside the building, Dillon cowers and screams amid all the gunfire. Rachel cuts the cords binding his hands. One of the patriots has Charlie in his cross hairs, but Bob the handsome mercenary takes him out with a crossbow bolt. Useful man, Bob.
Monroe and Neville fight. Charlie and Connor fall back. Rachel lets Dillon loose, but Miles wants to shoot him. She pleads with him to spare the kid, which he does at last, because something something moral compass and also it will shut Rachel up for five fucking minutes.
Connor spots his father and Neville, bludgeoning each other, but before he can go help, Jason tackles him. This is just a little too neatly parallel, don't you think? Monroe manages to overpower Neville and come to Connor's aid so they can scamper off into the woods. Miles covers Rachel and Gene's escape route; Ed and Neville stare sweatily at each other.
Victor chastises Ed and Neville for the failed mission. The reprimands make Ed flash back to one year after the blackout, at Guantanamo. The man who's now president introduces himself to a roomful of soldiers as Jack Davis, secretary of defense, and says they were chosen to help rebuild the United States. He says the blackout didn't ruin the country -- perverts and parasites did. Awesome, he's one of those. He's proposing a coup against the vice president (who's the Commander in Chief now, since Air Force One went down in the blackout with the president and the speaker on board).
So this is Davis's awesome plan: "While we sit here and wait out the purge, we are going to lose seventy percent of our population. You may think that's a tragedy; I see it as natural selection. We'll build a new America committed to the ideals we believe in." And then he invokes the patriot symbol, the pyramid on the dollar, with the Latin words "Novus ordo seclorum"—a new order for the ages.
Allenford isn't so sure this will work, but the president says Randall Flynn is already working for them on the mainland. He introduces Victor, a DOD consultant specializing in interrogation and reeducation, who will help them change hearts and minds. Victor says he knows how to apply pressure in all the right places. The president spews some more garbage about how they're all new founding fathers, and this is clearly just the right thing to say to Ed. He's always wanted to be a petty tyrant.
Back in Willoughby, Ed yells at Neville about his shitty plan. Neville has a new shitty plan: let's kill Victor Doyle!
Team Matheson safe house. Rachel interrupts Miles's stringent routine of splashing questionably clean water on his face to go on about how he did the right thing not killing Dillon. He has his doubts. So many doubts, so little whiskey.
Outside, Monroe picks a fight with his boyfriend. Miles takes the bait and asks why Monroe wants to win this war. Monroe's blusters that it's obviously about because the patriots blew up Philadelphia. Miles points out some inconsistencies in Monroe's story: he used to say he didn't care about revenge, then he said he just wanted to rescue Connor. Miles knows Monroe's only concern is saving his own skin…okay, maybe Connor's, too. He knows Monroe wants the republic back. Monroe tries to lie, but Miles sees through him to his plan of a father-son empire. Monroe turns it around and laughs at Miles for having no goals. Does he think he'll just beat the patriots, then retire to a farmhouse with Rachel and Charlie? Miles just shuffles off as Monroe yells after him, "What do you want, Miles?"
Jason attends an audience in Victor's office. Two soldiers hold him down and Victor pulls down Jason's eyelid to read the number there: "Four two four seven four." Jason quiets immediately and Victor asks Jason what Tom is thinking.
Camp Pittman. Priscilla wakes up, hearing some sort of electronic beeping. She leaves Aaron sleeping and wanders off into the woods to investigate. She's suddenly surrounded by fireflies; her eyes roll back in her head and she seems to be calling the great swarm over her head…or commanding them.
time: The Matheson-Monroe army attracts some new recruits and they attack Willoughby. Let's hope Bob survives.