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Thanks to Connor, Rachel and Charlie are able to give Gene the typhus antidote and hustle him out of town. They hide out and plot their move, which includes recruiting an army of mercenaries to help them wage war on the patriots. So Monroe, Charlie and Connor ride off to New Vegas to hire them some freelance murderers. While there, they run into Monroe's angry (possible) ex-girlfriend, who wants a great big pile of diamonds in return for her mercenaries.
So they hatch a plot to rob a casino, which involves Monroe going back to bare-knuckle topless fighting as a diversion while Charlie and Connor lift a box of diamonds. They are almost successful.
In Washington, the patriots drag Tom Neville out of the cage where they were keeping him so the president can force him to go to Willoughby and hunt down and kill Monroe, or else the president will have Julia tortured and killed. Neville negotiates Jason's services in pursuit of this goal.
Then, as if airplanes or trains or anything other than horse-drawn wagons are still an option for transcontinental transportation, Neville cheerily pops up a minute later at the Matheson-Porters' hideout in Texas. In his silver-tongued way, he tries to insinuate himself into Miles's good graces. Miles has just had sex with Rachel, so he's feeling pretty nice, but he's not completely soft in the head. Oh yeah: Miles and Rachel had sex. (Again. Because he's totally Charlie's father).
And in a different part of Texas, Aaron and Priscilla arrive in Lubbock, where the nanotech has mysteriously sent them. They find their old MIT classmate Peter -- who helped them build the nano's operating system -- who has now gotten himself a nice little church and a reputation as a faith healer, thanks to the nanites. When Priscilla and Aaron explain that it's not God, it's Siri who's healing Peter's flock, Peter refuses to hear it and petulantly locks Aaron and Priscilla in a room, like every fundamentalist killjoy ever.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Previously on Revolution: Aaron and Priscilla reunited in Oklahoma and set out walking back to Texas after the fireflies tried to kill them. Tom and Julia Neville blew their cover trying to rescue Jason. Monroe père et fils schemed to resurrect the republic, and after Rachel discovered that the patriots started a typhus epidemic to try and weed out undesirables, Gene got sick.
Charlie and Rachel frantically tend to Gene while he seizes. He stops breathing and they grab the portable breather-bag-squeezy thing.
In Ed's office, Connor has Ed at gunpoint. Ed wants Sanders, the soldier closest, to shoot Connor, but before he can, Sanders gets a sniper's bullet through the head, courtesy of Miles Matheson on a neighboring rooftop. Inside, Connor's all, any more heroes? The soldiers drop their guns. Connor somehow renders them all bunnies and shackles them and Ed to a radiator and gags Ed, then takes off with the antidote, not leaving a dose for Ed.
Charlie and Rachel manage to revive Gene. Connor dashes in just then with the drugs and Rachel tells her to shoot up all the patients. Connor tries to impress upon them the urgency of fleeing, but Charlie's more interested in heroic life saving. And maybe a little flirting? She's all, so, you're Li'l Sebastian, while Connor just stares at her, like, TIME AND PLACE, MISSY. Meantime, a soldier finds Ed locked up in his office and frees him so they can go Matheson hunting.
Charlie and Rachel chuck Gene in the back of a wagon and cover him up, then ride off, with Connor driving. The soldiers at the quarantine camp gate let them out, no hassles, when Connor explains they're going for supplies. They pick up Miles and Monroe a little bit away from the camp, and Rachel and Miles make sex eyes at each other.
Ed dashes into the quarantine tent and finds some antidote, then sweatily injects himself.
Washington. Ah, here's where they're using those cages we saw in the season premiere. Someone comes to drag Neville—or a dehydrated, pasty shell of Neville—from his cage and dumps him on the Oval Office floor. The man behind the big desk asks if Neville knows who he is, and Neville, his face all bloody, manages to say, "How do you do, Mr. President?" It's not Ben Affleck. I'm super disappointed.
Neville tries not to bleed on the carpet. The president invites him to have a seat—but not on that sofa, because it was Reagan's and Neville is filthy. Nice to see that some things don't change after the end of the world, and the slobbering Ronnie worshipers are still in power. The president starts monologuing about Neville's recent antigovernment vendetta and offers him a glass of water. They've clearly done a number on our man Tom, because he accepts it without suspicion. When he tries to talk his way out of his current predicament, the president interrupts and says he already knows the truth of Neville's plots—because Julia told him everything.
Neville demands to know where Julia is. The president says she's currently alive and then starts discussing his plans for Willoughby. They know Monroe is there, and since Neville is the one who knows Monroe best, he wants Neville to hunt Monroe down and execute him (successfully this time). And to make sure he comes through, they'll hold on to Julia. The president holds up a picture of her, looking like an Edward Gorey drawing, and rips it in half, then threatens to put Julia to the pain if Neville doesn't do as he says. Neville bargains to take Jason with him, because he's so helpful in a crisis.
Five days later, the Matheson-Porters have found someplace to hide out. Charlie's had time to get her hair did; she methodically cleans her knife while Connor fetches water and ogles her. He brags about tremendous danger he fought off to get Gene's medicine, and Charlie plays the stupid easily awed girl for a little while, just to entertain herself. He seems to buy her wide-eyed idiot act, even though she is cleaning a knife she uses to stab people to death in front of him. She laughs at him and walks away.
Monroe and Miles discuss the patriots: Monroe is grudgingly impressed by their ruthlessness. Like, this typhus epidemic is just the meanest, most awesome thing he's ever seen and he's violently jealous he didn't think of it first. Think of how much easier it would've been to clear out Baltimore! Miles is not so much with the homicidal admiration. Since their forces are down to themselves and three others, Monroe wants to recruit some mercenaries to help them wage war against the patriots. He explains that he has a friend in New Vegas who can set them up with a crew of freelance murderers. (I'm told the 1099 form for freelance murderers is much more complicated than the one for writers. Box K is a real motherfucker.)
Back in Willoughby, Ed has recovered nicely. Jason and Neville, looking significantly healthier, swan into his office.
Hideout. Charlie's packed up to go with Monroe and Connor on their trip west. Rachel doesn't like it, but Miles points out that someone has to watch them, and since Rachel can't leave Gene and Charlie managed to misplace Aaron the last time Miles and Rachel left, it's up to her. Charlie climbs up into the wagon, over Monroe's protests, and they roll out.
Willoughby. Ed accepts Neville's very, very dry congratulations for saving the town from typhus. Neville doesn't ask for any additional men for his mission from the president, saying he's familiar with how Miles and Monroe operate. He seems quite back to his old self, until Ed reveals that he has orders from President Davis, too: to report on the Nevilles' activity and have Julia executed if they don't do as Davis wants. Someone should probably tell Ed how Neville usually deals with those who threaten Julia's life.
Aaron and Priscilla arrive on the outskirts of Lubbock. Lubbock looks…well, I've never been to Lubbock, but I guess this isn't an improvement.
New Vegas. Monroe says they're looking for a warlord named Duncan Page, and the kiddies should just keep their mouths shut. Connor must be thinking of how much New Vegas looks like home, what with the live Poison songs and ladies of the night running around in their undercrackers. They pass the wailing musician and Charlie asks if Monroe knows the guy singing. He replies, "Oh, yeah. World's gonna end, there's gonna be nothing left but Bret Michaels. Him and the cockroaches." AND IT IS ACTUAL BRET MICHAELS. I am more delighted than I have been with this show EVER. Who will be the beloved entertainer to show up in New Vegas? I bet Britney and Celine are totally still there.
All too soon, Bret is gone (I wonder if he still has the bus? And pulls it with oxen?) and inside a tent, a casino owner named Gould hollers Monroe (whom he calls Jimmy King) about how he had all these fights booked when Monroe vanished (when the bounty hunters kidnapped him). Gould gets distracted from his yelling by Charlie and her tiny, tiny shirt, but Monroe gets his attention and asks about Duncan. Gould only wants to talk about Monroe fulfilling the agreement they had, but Monroe brushes past him, finding a card game in the back of the tent. He greets one of the players as Duncan, and Duncan turns around—Duncan is a lady! Who'd a thunk.
Charlie and Connor are both surprised at this totally unforeseeable plot twist, while Duncan is just amused that Monroe's robbing the cradle now. He asks for five minutes of her time, but Duncan isn't interested. Monroe refuses to leave and basically everyone pulls out their guns and points them at one another. Monroe, for once, wants to talk first and shoot later and tells Charlie to stop pointing that handgun at Duncan.
A carny beckons Vegas's denizens to see the mummified remains of Steven Tyler (not as good as Britney and Celine) as Charlie and Connor saunter past. He's impressed by how eager she was to hold someone at gunpoint, since she's not like the girls he knew in Mexico, who were only interested in faffing around with makeup. (Uh, does he have any idea how much time Charlie spends on her hair?) They flirt some more.
Lubbock. Aaron and Priscilla walk into town and a woman greets them and offers to share their food. And then their friend Peter—the one who helped them build the nanotech—hears their voices and recognizes them. Peter asks how they found him and they reply that they were sent there, which Peter chalks up to God's miracles. Aaron's all, uh, about that… But before they can explain about MIT and how they blew up the world, the food-offering lady pulls Peter away.
He leads Aaron and Priscilla into a church service, where a lady is singing "This Little Light of Mine." Aaron just looks confused rather than waving his secular-Jew card. Peter goes up front and begins his sermon, about how they live in an age of miracles, one of which is the arrival of Aaron and Priscilla. Priscilla's WTF face is extreme. Peter pulls a woman up on stage; half her face is terribly burned. She explains that she was blinded by the blast in Atlanta.
Peter prays over the woman, asking the Lord to heal her. The fireflies start streaming in through the windows, gathering around Peter and the burned woman. Her reddened skin begins to pale, and her eyes clear. "I can see," the woman whispers. The crowd goes wild, and Priscilla looks like she's going to throw up.
In Texas, Rachel stares up at the sky. Miles joins her and drags her off on some errand.
In Vegas, Duncan pours a drink and agrees to hear what Monroe has to say. He insults her card playing, to start, saying she must be strapped for cash, and she can't believe he's negging her. Monroe explains what he wants: ten or fifteen of Duncan's mercenaries. She wants thirty diamonds a head and refuses to negotiate. (So, they just go with the total number of diamonds? Not carat weight or anything? This is a terrible, inefficient system of currency. How do you make change?) He agrees.
Lubbock. Priscilla and Aaron have explained to Peter about the nanotech being responsible for his miracles. He haltingly explains the first miracle he saw—when a twelve-year-old girl was stabbed in front of him. He prayed, even though he'd never been particularly religious ("You used to drop acid behind your church," Aaron scoffs), and the girl was healed. Priscilla wants to tell everyone the truth, because she is the fun ruiner, and Peter excuses himself to think.
Miles brings Rachel to the abandoned drive-in. She's anxious to get back to Gene, but Miles wants to take one night off from the war. She reluctantly agrees, and they pass a jar of moonshine back and forth as he asks what movie they're going to pretend to watch. They go with Evil Dead II, which means Rachel has just a tiny bit of taste. And then they kiss. Rachel takes her shirt off and says, "I think twenty years is plenty of foreplay." BULLSHIT. I refuse to believe Miles isn't Charlie's father. Anyway, they do it. Guys, this kind of thing didn't end so well for Lori Grimes.
In Vegas, Charlie and Connor have also just banged. All I want is one throwaway line about the necessity of birth control in the apocalypse. Is that so much to ask? Connor's surprised Charlie slept with him, since she hates his father, but she sums up her ethos as, "You're cute. I was bored." He's worried things will be awkward now, but she laughs and tells him it won't matter, since with this war he's just joined, they'll all be dead soon. Not as long as you're the only thing anyone's watching on NBC, you won't.
And then Monroe finds them and starts hollering like some kind of outraged father. It's actually kind of funny and cute.
Speaking of fathers of recently shagged daughters, Rachel and Miles come back to the hideout to find Gene up and about, and telling them they have company. It's the Neville gentlemen. Miles and Rachel (who don't even have bedhead! They just had sex outside and no one has mussed-up hair!) are distinctly not pleased to see him.
Neville and Miles exchange pleasantries, mostly about how Neville found them. Neville says he came to find Miles. He's back on the patriots-killed-Julia tack, and tries to enlist Miles to his side to get revenge against the patriots. Miles asks Jason if Neville's telling the truth; he swears on his mother's grave.
Vegas. Monroe freaks out about how, in a town full of prostitutes, Connor went for the nonprofessional. He's sure Miles and Rachel will kill Connor if they find out. Connor points out that Monroe's coming to the dad game a little late (and also that Charlie is an adult capable of making her own decisions) and tells him to shove it. Charlie strolls up and asks if Monroe has gotten the mercenaries. He's all…yep. But they'll need the money to pay for them.
Lubbock. Priscilla is thoroughly freaked out by Peter's church, while Aaron thinks he's still the same guy they always knew. She wants a drink, but when she tries the doorknob, they're locked in. So maybe Peter has changed a little.
In the casino, Monroe, Charlie, and Connor scope out how to rob the security guys who collect the winnings. Monroe has an idea for a diversion to draw the security outside: he goes back to Gould and humbles himself, agreeing to the fight he owes. Monroe turns on the psychopathic-puppy-dog eyes, and no one can resist those.
Monroe outlines the plan for Charlie and Connor: most of the guards will be at the fight, so the young lovers will need to move quickly once it starts. He wryly asks Charlie to try not to get herself killed until she's Miles's responsibility again. The way she rolls her eyes means she agrees with me about this paternalistic sex-policing bullshit he's spouting.
Lubbock. Peter comes into the room where Aaron and Priscilla are locked up and tells them he won't have them bearing false witness to his flock. Priscilla insists again that the nanotech isn't God, but Peter says he doesn't see the difference since it lets him perform miracles. He thinks Aaron and Priscilla would like his church if they embraced it, and that's probably because he's never seen the nanites burn someone alive. So, he says, he'll keep Aaron and Priscilla, whom he calls prophets, with him until they figure out why the nanotech wants them in Lubbock.
Shirtless punching time! Monroe strides out into the circle. Gould introduces the fighter Monroe will be facing—and this guy is the size of one of the faces on Mount Rushmore. He makes Rob Gronkowski look like Muggsy Bogues. So it doesn't seem like the fight is going to go so well for our Sebastian.
Inside the casino, Charlie plays cards and eyes the money collector while Connor weaves about, swilling from a flask. Outside, Monroe keeps working his opponent's body, probably because he can't reach Gronkzilla's face. Connor drinks from his flask and collapses onto a blackjack table, scattering chips and diamonds everywhere. People dive for the diamonds and the money collector nearest Charlie abandons his lockbox as he dives into the fray. The security guy also picks up his gun to intervene.
Gronkzilla throws Monroe at some spectators. Inside, Charlie nonchalantly picks up the lockbox, but when the money collector sees her, she actually hesitates for a minute—in case he needs a good look at her face so he can describe her to the sketch artist—before making a run for it. The money collector pursues her, grabbing a gun as he chases.
Charlie comes to a chain-link fence. She drops the lockbox and makes it up and over before the pursuers can catch her. Back in the ring, Gronkzilla has put Monroe down, hard. Duncan hollers at him to get up. He notices Gould being called away with news of the robbery. Gronkzilla swings and Monroe fights back viciously—he was pulling his punches before. He knocks the monster out.
Gould runs up to the fence, where his men have gathered with torches. He finds the lockbox on the ground and opens it: nothing but rocks.
Connor has extracted himself from the casino melee and a flashback shows us the detail of the robbery: after Charlie picked up the lockbox, she slid it (full of diamonds) into a trash can and pulled out a second one (full of rocks), which she conspicuously displayed as she went on the run. Connor picked up the original box after reviving from his "fainting" spell and now heads out of town with the diamonds and his slightly bloodied pop in tow. But before they make it away, the security guy from earlier punches Monroe in the face, knocking him down. Gould's men find the lockbox in Connor's backpack. Monroe just lies there on the ground and bleeds.
time: Monroe and Connor are forced to fight to the death. Cynthia comes back, to tell Aaron the nanotech is dying, so he goes full A Beautiful Mind, even though Priscilla wants to let it die. And the power comes back on? Maybe?
See you all after the Olympics! Enjoy the figure skating! (Finger paintin'?)