In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
Since Emily was shot off the side of her wedding yacht, things have gotten a little murky on Revenge and with the last episode until March upon us, it seems things are only bound to get murkier.
Emily continues her charade as the delusional bride and enlists a therapist to help her marriage with Daniel, but that won't fix the part where he and Sarah are treating Grayson manor like their own private honeymoon resort, where evil smiles from former girl--door types are practically currency. Emily tries her best to scare Sarah away on her own, preying on the "sweet" girl's former notions of inferiority around Grayson money, but it doesn't work.
Ems later whips out the bigger guns, just as Conrad has unleashed a full assault on Daniel and ousted him at Voulez. Daniel comes home dejected only to find his mistress playing 1950s housewife with a full, gourmet meal made from scratch waiting for him – boldly – on the veranda. Daniel, swept up in the moment, suggests they go to Italy the day and Sarah agrees. Unfortunately for the not-so clandestine love birds, Emily has brought Sarah's mother back into the picture and mommy dearest disowns Sarah for choosing to be a mistress to Daniel, the man who ruined her life that one time (remember, love sick girl?).
This is too much for Sarah to bear and she leaves Daniel, forcing him to unleash his anger on Emily. Apparently, his anger no longer comes out in extremely violent forms – he simply pushes her onto her bed and then lets her go – but it does take crueler forms. He tells Emily his gift to the world was sterilizing her. The realization that she's lost Aidan and her prospect of bearing children, all to remain in a house with a man who hates her vehemently, takes her down and she wallows in her sorrow, the likes of which we've not yet seen. Of course, her sorrow is matched only by the surprise she experiences the day when she wakes up in Conrad's hotel room as he thanks her for what sounds like a night of love-making. (Perish the disgusting thought that is all we have to hang onto for two months.)
But it's not just Emily changing her stripes. Victoria is forced to open up when Nolan gives Patrick a police report that reveals his true father. Victoria fights Patrick and tries to get him not to meet his father, but Patrick doesn't listen. Naturally, she follows her son and eventually tells him that Jimmy Brennan was her neighbor and trusted friend who raped her when she was younger. Patrick was the bright spot in the ordeal, but she had to give him to the nuns (yes, this is a real plot point) in order to protect him from Brennan. She simply asks that Patrick not let this define him – as if it's so simple – and when we later see Patrick burning down her art gallery, it's clear her request didn't go too far.
At the same time, Aidan is getting himself into some trouble. Niko is getting closer to the trail of Takaeda's death and Aidan's getting antsy. With Nolan, he devises a plan to get Niko out of the country and on the false trail of the man who killed Declan. That way, Aidan is in the clear and a murderer gets his due – plus Aidan can work on changing Emily's mind without Niko getting in the way and kissing him all the time. (We know he still has feelings because when Emily has a fainting spell and ends up talking to him at Nolan's house, he begs her to speak to him so he won't have to write her off forever.) Unfortunately, Niko isn't stupid and finds Takaeda's katana under Aidan's bed just as she's supposed to be leaving. We can't know what she'll do with it until Revenge is back in March, but you can bet it involves slicing Aidan up rather nicely.
And throughout all this, Jack and Margaux take it upon themselves to agree to live together. Don't they know everything is supposed to be falling apart spectacularly? Are they not committed to this Hamptons disaster?
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Since Emily was shot off the side of her wedding yacht, things have gotten a little murky on Revenge and with the last episode until March upon us, it seems things are only bound to get murkier.
But don't worry, Emily is bound to stay safe and sound for at least the rest of this episode. You'd think things were working out differently based on the absurd amount of blood in her bed in this week's first scene. Niko rushes in because she's determined that she needs to be involved in Emily's life to honor Takaeda's respect for Ems, and she notes that Emily pulled out her stitches in her sleep. Emily apparently takes this explanation at face value, because she has Niko help her by cauterizing her wound with a hot poker, saying that she's got nothing left to lose because Daniel made her sterile. Certainly, this rushed decision made after massive blood loss won't yield any adverse results.
On the other side of the really great neighborhood these people all seem to live in, Nolan confronts Patrick for assaulting him and stealing from him in order to win favor from Victoria, but he's got an ulterior motive. Nolan got his hands on a police report from the '70s that shows who Patrick's real father might be. If this was three weeks prior, it might seem that Nolan was trying to help his former lover, but we're dealing with re-revenge-set Nolan. This information is the spark and the end of a long fuse.
At Grayson Manor, Emily is doing her best to play delusional wifey by enlisting the help of a counselor in her newfound marriage problems. Victoria laughs because she knows this won't build a bridge between her and Emily or Emily and Daniel, but Emily retains her smug composure as usual. Of course, the composure doesn't last long because almost immediately after her cleansing therapy session, she finds Daniel in bed -- rather proudly -- with Sarah. And our "sweet" little girl--door has suddenly adopted the sociopathic grin of a more evil woman along the lines of Lydia Davis. Sweetheart, we know Emily lied, but you are still a mistress parading your affair in the wife's face. Have some dignity.
Meanwhile, Conrad's little plan is going swimmingly. After intercepting the final copy of Voulez last week, the bait and switch worked and Margaux's picturesque afternoon with Jack is ruined when she finds a copy of Voulez with Conrad's outrageously false story in it. Conrad, fully aware that the biggest part of his plan is about to be revealed, moves out of Grayson Manor to the South Fork Inn and tells Emily she destroyed his last chance at happiness. Still, he doesn't seem all that miffed because he offers an open door to Emily for whenever Daniel inevitably betrays her (you know, because shooting her wasn't betrayal enough).
But Emily isn't ready to give up her seat at the Grayson dinner table just yet. She confronts Sarah, who's lounging at the pool with a knock-off Gatorade and speaking like some entitled college coed with daddy's credit card. Apparently, this was to establish her as slightly "wrong side of the tracks" so that when Emily refers to her "earthiness" catching Daniel's eye, we all know Emily means "trashiness" and we're not that inclined to disagree (though the mistress part certainly helps). In order to prove Emily wrong, Sarah puts her sunglasses down, snaps her fingers, and orders a glass of Cristal because she's so classy she remembers the champagne once preferred by the likes of every music star on TRL in the 2000s. Good one, S.
And while Sarah is moving fast with Daniel, Niko is moving at lightning speed with Aidan. She's already moved into his room at Nolan's -- without even asking Nolan -- and making her suddenly reinstated boyfriend rather uncomfortable (you know, on account of him just getting his heart stomped on by the love of his life and the part where he killed Niko's father). She asks him to help her solve her father's murder, and he does because he knows it's the only way to avoid suspicion. It's also a surefire way to get himself in trouble.
On the road to certain heartbreak, Patrick finally finds Jimmy Brennan, his possible father. He learns that Brennan wasn't allowed to see him at the orphanage he lived in and that Brennan tried just days before Patrick was sent to a foster family who eventually abandoned him. He's furious, but Victoria tries desperately to convince him Brennan isn't the father he'd want. And because it would be boring if he gave up, Patrick keeps going after his mysterious father.
Victoria doesn't catch on immediately to Patrick's tenacity because she's got other issues: the maids told her that Daniel is waving Sarah in Emily's face. While Victoria doesn't respect Emily, she does respect the fact that Emily is determined to making Daniel's life a living hell, and that she could send him to jail if she wanted. What's worse for Daniel is that Sarah is "a soft target" and Victoria knows Emily will crush her easily, but Daniel thinks he knows better.
He fires the maid staff for gossiping because he's certain they're on Emily's side and he's convinced this is some incredible move. Emily stupidly tries to tell him that she's doing all this to try to win him back, but Daniel has seen through the veil, sweetheart. He's still sort of stupid, but not stupid enough to actually believe the "I love you" act. Daniel's revenge plan? Make others "pay the price" until Emily leaves -- ahem, I'm sorry, Daniel, but if you think Emily is so evil, why would you base your punishment on the people an evil person could care less about? Still, that's his plan and he's sticking to it.
Later, Nolan visits Emily -- and her perfect dress makes me start to suspect that hot poker nonsense was just so she could start wearing fabulous outfits again -- in order to ask her if he can kick Aidan and Niko out of his house. He doesn't trust them and he's tired of hearing them have sex, and of course all Emily is more concerned with is the fact that her grand love didn't even wait a week before he shacked up with his old flame. Rather than dealing with Nolan's question, she shuts down and goes for a swim -- bullet wounds be damned -- and passes out in the pool, only to wake up fully dressed at Nolan's house. It seems that she must have gotten herself there, though she has no recollection of this and her condition makes Aidan, who's the only person at home when she arrives, very concerned.
He tries to get her to stay and says that she can't just abandon him. He attempts to give her a romantic ultimatum and she calls his bluff, telling him to give up on her. He clearly isn't actually through with her, but she leaves immediately, giving him no chance to make good on that feeling.
Shortly thereafter, Nolan tries to kick Niko out of his house without Emily's help, but as she peels troves of mangos, he sees that she's looking over Takaeda's case file. She comes right out with it: she's trying to avenge her father's death and "practicing separating skin from flesh." Nolan decides right now might not be a good time to kick her out.
Voulez, however, is much more reckless when it comes to cutting folks loose. Conrad sues Voulez for the story he planted -- which claims Conrad handed Lydia the gun on the honeymoon cruise -- and his only conditions are that he takes Daniel's job but doesn't actually do it. Margaux takes the deal because Daniel is a little shit and she's filled with self-preservation instincts, but that doesn't make the news any easier for Daniel.
When Daniel gets home from his father's first strike of sabotage, Sarah has made an entire perfect meal from scratch and set it up proudly on the terrace like a perfect little housewife, who just so happens to be the seedy mistress. He decides they're going to go to Italy together; he doesn't care about keeping up appearances for his marriage to Emily anymore. (Does he also not care about going to jail? Because that was the purpose for all these "appearances.")
A little outside of town, Patrick clearly has something in common with his half-brother, because he can't seem to understand the tone Victoria was trying to convey when she told him to stay away from Brennan. He's followed Brennan to a bar and Victoria finds him so she can tell him who his father is -- that thing that she's had plenty of chances to do throughout this season -- but before she can, she drops her purse and Brennan picks it up as she shakes uncontrollable and he tells her, "Relax, honey." At this, Victoria loses it and finally has to tell Patrick what's wrong with his father: He raped Victoria after being something of an older brother to her. His phrase of choice during the act was, of course, "Relax, honey."
Suddenly, Victoria doesn't seem nearly as unnecessarily horrible as she normally does. She gave up Patrick for adoption because after evading Brennan for years, she grew tired, was offered a scholarship in Paris, and left Patrick with nuns and the strict orders not to allow the man who raped her to visit him. She says she kept the truth back because it might cause him more anguish than it's worth and insists that he not allow this harsh truth to color who he is. It's unfortunate that Victoria hasn't learned simply telling someone to feel okay about something isn't really possible. Later, we find him burning down Victoria's gallery, proving that perhaps V should have given him some motherly smothering at a time like this.
While Patrick loses it, Aidan loses Niko and sends her on a false lead dreamed up by Nolan. The target is supposedly her father's murderer, but in reality it's the man who killed Declan. (At least when Niko gets to him, the dude will deserve what's coming to him.) Niko immediately knows that Aidan is staying behind because he loves Emily (it's true, but she doesn't realize it's also because he killed Takaeda). Unfortunately, Niko doesn't actually get very far because her sudden move-in with Aidan also gives her license to search under his bed where's he stupidly stored the katana with which he killed her father. And since Niko looks like she knows how to wield a blade, this certainly won't end well for Tall, Dark and British.
Finally, Emily enacts her last ploy to get Sarah out of her: she calls in mommy dearest. Sarah's mother berates Sarah for being a home-wrecker and begs her to leave Daniel. When Sarah won't, sure that she's found some noble love with the rich kid who almost killed her when they were younger, her mother disowns her and wishes Emily, "sweetheart," well. Sarah is destroyed and it would be easy to feel bad for her if the writers hadn't made her so terrible throughout the episode. And that's why, when Sarah leaves Daniel in a puddle of tears, determined that this situation has turned her into something she's not, we're quick to accept it and move on.
Daniel, however, is a bit more torn up. First, his father ruined his career, and now he's left with a wife he hates. In retaliation, he throws Emily down and threatens her until she explains that yes, dummy, she's enacting a plan of revenge since he took her ability to have children. He gets up and leaves his final blow, saying that sterilizing her was his gift to the world. She doesn't love Daniel, but he hits her one sore spot perfectly and she cries until she blacks out once again.
But she doesn't wake up at home, she wakes up in Conrad's bed. Considering she supposedly made her way to Nolan's on her own last time she blacked out, we're supposed to assume she did this little trip as well. Of course, it's even creepier when Conrad thanks her for the night before (perish the thought of Emily and Conrad getting it on). The result of this last minute twist is yet to be seen, but worry not: things are about to make even less sense because in the final moments of the episode, the "first Mrs. Grayson" appears at the airport.
Of course, all this nonsensical drama will have to sit, suspended in murky waters until the series returns in March and finally plays all its cards.
Think you've got game? Prove it! Check out Games Without Pity, our new area featuring trivia, puzzle, card, strategy, action and word games -- all free to play and guaranteed to help pass the time until your show starts.