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To start things off, Lydia's body falls a few stories onto the top of a car. Splat! She's dead. How did we get here? Well, Conrad had been continuing his affair with Lydia and Victoria wasn't stupid, for one. Frank shows some loyalty to Queen Victoria and tips her off that Conrad has recently transferred $10 million to Lydia's bank account. The money gives Lydia the opportunity to try and force her way back into Victoria's social circle as well as a gala dedicated to the charity Victoria set up out of guilt to give back to the families of victims of the terrorist airline attack. Lydia also comes back to the Hamptons with a vendetta against Emanda whom she blames for outing her affair to Victoria. By pure luck, Lydia notices Emanda disguised as a server in the background of an old event photo taken of Lydia and Victoria when they were still BFFs. This was also before Emanda changed her name from "Amanda Clarke" to "Emily Thorne," so there's a threat of Lydia discovering her true identity.
Nolan and Emanda happen into a bit of luck of their own. When Emanda began to feel Lydia's threat, she mailed off some of Lydia's effects to her loft and mixed in a few incriminating things like an article about Senator Kingsly's resignation and a copy of Dr. Banks' book signed with a dedication to Lydia. A hidden video camera in a tiny figurine Nolan had planted in Emanda's house was also one of the items she packed to ship to Lydia's. It affords Emanda some warning that Lydia is close to exposing her, so she employs Nolan to break into Lydia's place to make sure she doesn't receive a fax of a hard copy of the employee manifesto for the catering company Lydia requested. That would have gone off without a hitch except Nolan arrives at Lydia's shortly after she's been knocked off the roof of her home by Frank and he's long gone. When Frank had broken into Lydia's place during the gala, he spotted the incriminating things Emanda had sent to her and advises Victoria that Lydia is behind everything and plans to expose the Graysons in front of everyone. Queen Victoria gives Frank the order to "take care of" Lydia. Splat, remember? Nolan is freaked out when he realizes Lydia was murdered just before he arrived, so he checks the recorded footage on the camera and it contains evidence of a struggle between Frank and Lydia just before her murder. Thank goodness for small cameras.
Daniel is going through all sorts of growing pains. The misunderstanding between him and Emanda over their supposed snubbing of each other is quickly sorted out and blamed on Tyler. Daniel standing up to Tyler, who decides to go work for Conrad for the summer, also leads to him standing up to his father about not wanting to follow in his footsteps. This all sounds great, but it results in Conrad freezing Daniel's trust fund. Not so great. Daniel's plan? He asks Jack to be considered for The Stowaway's open bartender position. Jack's going to have to think about that one. It's not all bad for Daniel, though. He finally gets into Emanda's pants.
Off in Teen Land, Charlotte intercepts Conrad's apology gift of a Mercedes intended for Victoria and takes off on a joyride with Dec out of her continued anger at her mother. The joyride is too joyful, though. Char and Dec get pulled over and thrown in jail. Luckily, Daniel bails them both out without a problem. Then everyone goes and gets ice cream or something.
-- Pablo G. is some guy who lives in San Antonio, Texas. He co-hosts TWoP's original "Trailers Without Pity" with his brother Omar G. Check him out at Unp0ssible and Pablog and follow him @PendejoJoe on Twitter.
How did Revenge defy the cancellation gods? This dub from The Morning After may hold a clue:
Want more? The full recap starts right below!It's late on a relatively busy city street. As we move through cars parked on the curb, we get an Emanda voice-over: "In revenge, as in life, every action has an equal and opposite reaction. In the end, the guilty always fall." A body crashes loudly onto the top of a parked cab. It's Lydia. We zoom in from above on the gold, sparkly evening gown wearing blonde. A single trickle of blood emanates from the corner of her mouth. Falling about fifty feet onto a car will do that to you. Still, girl looks immaculate, even in death. Her eyelashes flutter, but you can call it -- time of death: one minute into the episode.
Two days earlier. Daytime at Grayson Manor. Victoria comes downstairs to thank Frank for standing guard during the whole Dr. Michelle Banks craziness. No new information has emerged regarding Michelle's attacker, but Frank assures Victoria he won't let anything happen to her. Victoria reminds Frank that Conrad will be coming home today, but that's actually not the case. Naturally, Frank already knows Conrad never left for home and spent the night in the city. Victoria asks if he stayed with Lydia. Instead of answering, Frank just hands Victoria a piece of paper. It's a bank transfer receipt showing Conrad transferred $10 million to Lydia's account. Daaaamn! That must be some good mistress. Also, I hate rich people.
Morning at Casa Emily. Party Planner Ashley walks in "dressed to impress" because she'll be meeting with Victoria later, and she hopes she can distract from the topic of the disastrous mother-daughter tea. Is there any possible way to thaw Ice Queen Victoria, Ashley asks. Emanda suggests making Victoria the center of attention for her charitable efforts at an upcoming gala. That's good enough for Ashley. She leaves and Emanda pulls out the infinity X infinity box. She looks at a front-page newspaper article about the terrorist plane crash and can hear a news anchor's voice detailing the attack. Emanda looks over her shoulder to see Little Amanda standing in front of the TV. FLASHBACK: Little Amanda watches the live news broadcast of the plane crash. David walks in surprised to find Amanda awake. She directs him to the TV and the news of the crash. Later, David sits in his jail cell, writing this letter to Amanda: "Conrad and Victoria knew the victims' families would need a devil to shoulder the blame for the money Conrad had been laundering for the terrorists. They chose me as the patsy, while passing themselves off as grieving benefactors. Never underestimate the power of guilt, Amanda. It compels people to some pretty remarkable places." /FLASHBACK. Emanda is looking at a newspaper clipping of the Graysons endowing a fund for the victims' families called United Outreach. She puts it down and looks at her gala invitation.
Back at Grayson Manor, Daniel tries to eat breakfast while his mother nags through his hangover about him falling off the wagon. That's just the worst. Hanging in the background is Tyler, who interjects Emanda's fault in this for standing up Daniel. Dan understandably just wants everyone to shut up. Conrad walks in and catches the tail end of everything. He shrugs off Victoria's attempts at catching him in a lie about his trip by talking about his business, which gives Tyler the opportunity to jump in and ask for work at Grayson Global. Conrad's all for it and naturally expects his son to be a part of this whole work thing now, too. Tyler is absolutely the worst best friend ever. Dan gets up from the table and him and Tyler Parry leave. Conrad turns his attention to Victoria who let Dan fall back into drinking in his two day absence. Victoria: "I had my hands full. Perhaps you can tell me where your hands have been." Come on, Conrad, how hard is it to come up with a pithy rejoinder? "Um... in your best friend."
Nolan creeps outside Casa Emily, trying to peek in the windows. Suddenly, a curtain flies back and he's face-to-face with an annoyed Emanda. Nolan: "What's my little girl with the infinity tattoo up to today?" Snerk. Like usual, Emanda is sparse with the details. Unlike usual, Emanda is so annoyed with Nolan she loses sight of him in her own home. He sneaks off to place a small black whale figurine on her mantel while keeping up conversation about Tyler enabling Daniel and proving to be a nuisance for Emanda. The conversation ends outside with the two looking in the distance at Grayson Manor.
Conrad's office in Grayson Manor. Victoria confronts Conrad about the ten million dollars transferred to Lydia. Conrad is caught off guard, but quickly attributes it to trying to placate Lydia who is now a threat to expose the Graysons after Victoria's power play of exiling her. Victoria bitch slaps Conrad and points out none of this would even be happening if it weren't for his affair. Well... yeah. If you want to play the blame game. Victoria walks out into the hall, not noticing Tyler who overheard everything.
Poor Porter Bar. Jack overslept today, and he's surprised when he comes downstairs to find Dec set up the whole bar by himself. Dec wants to be reminded why they have to work so hard to have so little. Jack thinks Dec is making a dig about him deciding not to sell the bar, but Dec just wants to hire some help because he doesn't want to work to his grave like their father. Jack takes the idea to heart.
Emanda comes home from a swim to find Lydia waiting for her outside. Emanda tries to put on her happy-go-lucky girl persona for the conversation, but Lydia is in cold bitch mode. She wants her house back and will be contesting the sale since her name was on the deed and her ex-husband had no legal right to sell. Nolan is eavesdropping on this conversation through a camera in the whale figurine. Emanda continues to play dumb and offers to ship Lydia's furnishings to her new home, but Lydia remains cold and threatening. "We all have our Southfork Inn, Emily. I just made it my mission to find yours." Lydia walks out, leaving Emanda with a concerned look on her face.
Threatening 3-D title card and commercials.
Sitting at her laptop, Emanda prints out an article about Senator Kingsly withdrawing his candidacy, puts it in a manila folder with other documents and places it in a cardboard box. She grabs a copy of Dr. Banks' book and opens the cover to reveal it is signed by Michelle to Lydia. Emanda puts the book in the box, as well as Nolan's whale figurine. She puts a lid on the box, which is addressed to Lydia's new home.
Dan and Tyler are getting dressed together yet again. Seriously, what is it about these two boys having to be in the same room half naked? Daniel doesn't understand why Tyler would want to sign away their summer to work for his dad, while Ty seems to understand a bit too well that Grayson Global is a huge player on Wall Street. Daniel finally finds his cell phone and mentions his credit card is missing. It was just left at "The Blowaway" last night, says Tyler. This reminds Daniel he needs to make it clear to Tyler he can't be getting drunk like that anymore. In true Tyler Parry fashion, he deflects Daniel's concern and says his parents are probably more concerned with Conrad's cheating. Daniel does a double take and runs off to find out what's all this then.
Outside, a miserable Charlotte is texting Declan about how her giant rich girl mansion is like a prison. Victoria comes out to try and bridge the gap between herself and Char, but she's too ham-fisted about it, asking Charlotte to first come have lunch with her and her old lady friends. Charlotte sees through the offer as a chance for Victoria to show off to her friends that the big scene they made at the mother-daughter tea has been fixed. Charlotte storms off. In the middle of that storming off, she runs into a delivery man who's looking for Victoria to sign for a gift from Conrad. It's a brand new Mercedes. Charlotte signs for it, takes the keys and smiles.
Poor Porter Bar. Daniel walks in and finds Jack to ask for his credit card back. Jack, the perfect gentleman he always is, says he would've gladly mailed it to Daniel if he just called. Dan, the perfect overachieving rich kid he always is, apologizes for his behavior last night. Declan interrupts because there's a very large man named Bull inquiring about being a bartender at the Stowaway who Dec is too terrified to handle. Daniel looks over his shoulder to see a big "help wanted" sign in the window, apologizes again and leaves.
Grayson Manor. Emanda is welcomed by Victoria at her weekly luncheon with all the ladies. As she guides Emanda to the parlor by the arm, Victoria condescendingly comforts her about things going badly with Daniel. They take their seats among the women and Victoria begins speaking about the upcoming Open Arms Gala. Ashley interrupts her to cheerfully claim she has organized for the charity being highlighted at the gala to be Victims United, a charity set up first for the victims of the famed terrorist airplane crash and initially endowed by the Graysons. Victoria's face goes white with guilt and she averts eye contact with everyone in the room while trying to hold a smile. Open Arms will honor the Graysons for their pioneering efforts, Ashley adds and all the women clap. Then, Lydia walks into the room. "Congratulations, Victoria. No one deserves the recognition more than you," Lydia announces, a smirk spreading across her face.
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Victoria slowly stands up to go greet Lydia. She hugs her and questions her decision to return to the Hamptons with an air of faux friendliness. Lydia says, loud enough for everyone to hear, her decision to leave was one she was never comfortable with, and now that her divorce is final, she hopes Victoria will welcome her back into The Fold. Victoria has no reason to publicly deny Lydia this request, so she invites her to rejoin the group. Perfect timing for Victoria's phone to ring with a call from Conrad. Bad timing for Conrad to ask how Victoria likes her surprise, meaning the car. He's surprised to find out Lydia is at the house and asks Victoria to accept his apology and the car. Victoria's like, "What car?" Cut to Charlotte showing off the Mercedes to Declan. Back at Queen Victoria's lunch, Lydia has taken Victoria aside to apologize for everything. She appears to genuinely miss Victoria's friendship. Emanda interrupts the reunion to tell Lydia she's mailed off some of her things and to off-handedly mention in front of Victoria this is the second time she's seen Lydia today. Before she leaves, Lydia asks Victoria one more time to consider her apology. With Lydia gone, Emanda's mention of seeing Lydia twice today sparks curiosity from Victoria. Emanda confides Lydia showed up to make threats about wanting her house back and then plants some more ideas about Lydia. Emanda mentions the signed book from Dr. Banks to Lydia and the fact that Lydia's sessions with Michelle weren't exposed in the mother-daughter tea incident. Food for diabolical socialite thought.
Dan is waiting for Emanda outside her home. They're a bit snippy with each other, but it comes out quickly from Daniel that Tyler told him she had to cancel dinner. That's easy to fix. Emanda outs Tyler for being a liar and explains she felt stood up. Only one problem with that -- Daniel admits he saw her with Jack. Deftly, Emanda explains she had cooked the meal for Daniel and didn't want to waste the food when Jack showed up uninvited. And just like that, Emanda wins back her sham boyfriend. Inside, they talk about Dan not wanting to work for his father. Emanda thinks maybe he's just scared of disappointing Conrad.
Charlotte comes home from her day with a greasy boy and a Mercedes. She really doesn't care about being in trouble with her mother and says as much. Victoria's at her wit's end about her daughter hating her, so she offers to let Charlotte keep the car. This has been another paragraph brought to you by: I Hate Rich People.
Elsewhere in Grayson Manor, Dan comes home to confront Tyler about sabotaging things with Emanda. Ty's defense is he was trying to protect Dan. He compares the situation with a similar one he went through, but Daniel cuts him off to say he doesn't want his help.
In Nolan's Fortress of Solitude, he sits down to check out the surveillance he planted in Emanda's house. He's surprised to see Lydia's face on the video feed instead. Almost on cue, Conrad knocks at Lydia's door. He's super angry about her showing up at Grayson Manor. Lydia doesn't see the big deal because she was there to try to patch things up with Victoria. Conrad thinks it's delusional of Lydia to think Victoria will accept her back into a friendship that was mostly one-sided to begin with. All Lydia has to say is Conrad better make sure Victoria is onboard with being BFFs again at the upcoming gala or else. Or else what? "Another empty threat?" Conrad asks. Uh oh... don't talk to your mistress like that, Conrad. Lydia threatens to give testimony to expose the Graysons as having coerced her into framing David Clarke. Conrad picks up a framed photo of Victoria and Lydia when they were still friends and throws it on the ground as he walks out. Lydia picks it up and starts to examine it. She just so happens to have a magnifying glass within reach and takes it to the photo. She spots Emanda in the background dressed as a server. Lydia smiles.
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Conrad has convened with Victoria and Frank in his office at Grayson Manor to tell them of Lydia's threats. Victoria has no interest in welcoming Lydia back into The Fold, so Frank is eager to do things "his way," which probably has something to do with piano wire and a Hefty bag. Victoria explains Lydia might be the one behind all of the Graysons' recent problems and the kidnapping of Dr. Banks. Frank decides for everyone involved that if Victoria's suspicions prove true, he will handle Lydia personally. He asks Conrad if he still has keys to Lydia's apartment. Not in front of the wife, Frank! Victoria gives Conrad a look as he hesitates before saying to Frank, "Backseat glove box."
Casa Emily. Emanda comes rushing downstairs in a robe to respond to pounding at her door. It's Nolan and he's freaking out because Lydia is on to Emanda. He explains Lydia noticed Emanda in a photo of an event from 2003 and she's been spending all morning calling catering companies to try to get an employment roster. Nolan has to admit to Emanda that the only way he could know all of this is that he originally bugged her house, but it came from a good place -- he says he promised her father he'd look after her and it was the only way he knew how to achieve that. Emanda asks Nolan to hack into the catering company's database to erase her name. This is an even bigger deal than Nolan thought because it wasn't Emily Thorne who worked that party, it was Amanda Clarke before the name change. This could expose Emanda's whole plan.
It's gala time! Emanda is already schmoozing with the Graysons. Victoria asks if Emanda has spoken to Daniel, which gives Emanda the opportunity to tell Victoria he's not in attendance because he's angry with things at home. Victoria has no response. She spots Lydia entering the ballroom and turns to Ashley to ask to be seated. It turns out they will be sitting as guests of honor at the Victims United table. A woman at the table turns to look at Victoria as she's seated, and her face catches Victoria by surprise. FLASHBACK: The woman is being interviewed on a local television news broadcast about losing her family in the plane attack. Victoria watches with Frank and Conrad and is so wracked with guilt over their involvement she is desperate to help the lady and other family members of the victims. Conrad agrees and thinks at the very least it'll help Grayson Global's public image. /FLASHBACK. Ashley informs the Graysons they have half an hour before Lydia is set to introduce them to the crowd, something they were not expecting. Victoria tells Conrad they need to talk to Frank.
Emanda finds Lydia to ask if she received her shipment of personal effects. Lydia did, but it doesn't matter because she expects Emanda won't be living in her house much longer. "Pack your things, sweetie. I found your Southfork Inn," Lydia smugly says before walking away. Emanda pulls out her phone and dials Nolan. There's a problem with his hacking. The catering company only has a hard copy of the employee manifest, meaning they are in the process of faxing it to Lydia's home. Emanda's plan to go intercept it herself is thwarted by Daniel's sudden appearance at the gala. Nolan volunteers to "fire up the chopper" and head downtown to intercept the fax for her. I'm allowing myself one instance of saying "I love Nolan" per episode, and this was it. He gets up to leave and we see the video feed on Nolan's laptop of Lydia's dark, empty apartment suddenly filled with Frank's flashlight. We cut to Frank snooping around. He stops at the box Emanda shipped to Lydia. He finds all of the planted evidence -- the signed book from Michelle, the printed out article about Senator Kingsly and a copy of the DVD of Dr. Banks' sessions used at the mother-daughter tea. He turns to Lydia's laptop where there's a copy of her upcoming Open Arms speech on the screen. Frank pulls out his phone to call Victoria and give her warning that Lydia plans to expose the Graysons in her speech. Victoria looks over her shoulder at Lydia and says to Frank, "I'll handle her from this end and you handle her from yours." They hang up. Victoria goes up to Lydia and whispers something in her ear. They appear to have made amends. When Victoria gets back to her table, Conrad asks what she told Lydia. She says she told Lydia what she wanted to hear. It's time for Lydia to get up to the podium. She pulls out her speech and looks out at the crowd.
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Lydia chooses not to out the Graysons with her speech. Instead, she asks the crowd to simply recognize them for their outstanding efforts. She leads the room in applause for Lydia and Conrad, who stand and accept the ovation.
Off in Extraneous Land, Charlotte and Dec are going a million miles an hour in the Mercedes. Dec is incapable of understanding a parenting method that involves buying a child's approval and thus does not believe Charlotte is now in possession of this car. The joyride comes to an abrupt end when blue and red lights flash behind them.
Back at the gala, Daniel is at the bar with Conrad. He takes this father and son opportunity to tell Conrad he doesn't want to follow in his footsteps. This is all it takes for Dad Grayson to threaten to freeze Daniel's trust fund. Daniel tells Conrad to do what he thinks he has to do and walks away.
This scene, guys... This is what we live for. Victoria finds Lydia to compliment her on her speech. Lydia's genuinely happy to be friends with Victoria again, but it's short-lived because Queen Victoria has her guillotine hidden behind her back. She tells Lydia appearances can be deceiving, as Lydia should know. Lydia's face drops and it's like you can watch her heart slowly shrink. Through a smile, Victoria says to her: "Understand something, Lydia. Every time I smile at you across a room, or we run into each other at a luncheon or I welcome you into my home, let that smile be a reminder of just how much I despise you. And that every time I hug you, the warmth you feel is my hatred burning through you." She crushes a wilting Lydia in a tight embrace and says good-bye. Emanda watches all of this unfold, but is dragged away from it when Daniel finds out Charlotte's been arrested.
Lydia comes home to find Frank waiting for her in the darkness. He confronts her with the allegations the planted evidence supports, but she has no idea what he's talking about. She threatens Frank by pulling out her cell phone, which he slaps away, beginning a struggle. Amazingly, Lydia counters every move by Frank and gets in plenty of good hits before running up to the roof of her apartment, but all it takes is one good punch from Frank that sends Lydia tumbling over the railing of her roof and crashing onto the cab, as we saw at the beginning of the episode. Her eyelashes don't flutter this time.
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Nolan arrives at Lydia's apartment to switch out the employee manifest. Meanwhile, Emanda sits in the Southampton police station with Daniel, waiting for Charlotte and Declan. She gets a text from Nolan that everything is OK now. Back at Lydia's, Nolan decides to grab the whale figurine camera and also snatches the photo with Emanda in the background. That's when he hears police sirens. He runs up to the roof and looks over the railing to see Lydia's corpse on a smashed car with fire engines and ambulances arriving on the scene -- probably not what he expected to see. He runs downstairs. Back at the police station, Emanda asks if Daniel will tell his parents about Charlotte's arrest. He figures it's not a big deal to keep this secret, considering all the other family secrets and doing right by his sister is one more thing to make him feel liberated now that he's free of the burden of his $100 million trust fund. Daniel takes Emanda's hand in his just as Jack walks into the station. Awkward. Charlotte and Dec run out to Dan and Jack respectively, excited to be out of custody. Jack asks how much this is going to cost and Daniel speaks up that he covered it by saying Dec was part of the family. Jack grudgingly accepts this gesture, saying he owes Daniel one. How convenient for Dan -- he asks Jack if he can be considered for the bartending job at the Stowaway. Jack reluctantly tells Dan to give him a call at the bar before giving Emanda a look that says "I'd do this for you" before walking out with Dec.
Little Dragon's "Twice" plays as Emanda comes home with Daniel. She flippantly asks if he's serious about the bartending job when Daniel suddenly grabs her and very seriously says, "Right now, all I'm serious about is taking you to the bedroom." Seriously. Emanda: "Then what are you waiting for?" They start eating each other's faces. At Grayson Manor, Victoria and Conrad are getting ready for bed when Victoria's phone rings. Emanda voice-over: "Guilt is a powerful affliction. You can try to turn your back on it, but that's when it sneaks up behind you and eats you alive." Victoria's call is from Frank. He tells her that Lydia jumped off her balcony. Even though this was the Queen's decree, the news appears to shake Victoria. Meanwhile, Daniel and Emanda undress each other and fall into bed together. Emanda VO continued: "Some people struggle to understand their own guilt. Unable or unwilling to justify the part they play in it." Nolan plugs the whale figurine into his laptop and sees video of the fight between Frank and Lydia. Nolan watching in horror is intercut appropriately with Emanda and Daniel getting it on. Emanda VO continued: "Others run away from their guilt, shedding their conscience until there is no conscience left at all. But I run toward my guilt. I feed off of it. I need it." Nolan calls Emanda and gets her voicemail. He leaves a message, saying he thinks Frank just killed Lydia. Emanda VO: "My father died never knowing if I would ever come to believe his innocence. For me, guilt is one of the few lanterns that still light my way." Emanda lies in bed with a sleeping Daniel, wide awake and staring ahead.
-- Pablo G. is some guy who lives in San Antonio, Texas. He co-hosts TWoP's original "Trailers Without Pity" with his brother Omar G. Check him out at Unp0ssible and Pablog and follow him @PendejoJoe on Twitter.