Due to the holiday weekend last week, I didn't have time to watch anything awesome, so no Most Awesome Thing this week.
Danny sits on the floor in Johanna and Lacey's room. Danny says he's been having a hard time sleeping because he's worried about his upcoming eye surgery. Lacey reassures him. Danny says he's worried that he'll look different, or his face will be uneven. Lacey assures him that won't happen. And even if it did, look at how successful Shannen Doherty has been with her wonky eye! From certain angles, she looks like a Cyclops or something. Danny interviews that he's worried about the surgery, but he knows it's necessary. Lacey asks whether he told his parents about what happened. Danny says that his dad is flying out, and adds that his dad is his best friend. I've always found it weird when people claim a parent is their best friend. Really? Your best friend? Then who serves as your parent? I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it. I just don't really get it. Danny interviews that his dad has "always been there" and "always been the rock that held us all down." Hee! There are times when I'm watching this show on Tuesday nights in order to do the recaplet that I just burst out laughing and think, "Damn, I can't wait to put that in the recap." Danny's dad as the rock that drowns his family in some way was one of those moments. Danny says that his parents are divorced and that he doesn't have a great relationship with his mother. He adds that his mom is an alcoholic, and that he doesn't see her much. He was eighteen when his parents got divorced.
Danny goes and talks to Melinda and cries that he's worried he'll be a disappointment to his dad. He says that his family doesn't dwell on things and that you're expected just to move on when something happens. Melinda promises to baby him and let him dwell on things. Does Danny think his dad will expect him just to skip the surgery and move on with his life with a crumpled eye socket? I mean, seriously. Melinda interviews that Danny would take care of her if the situation were reversed, because they have a connection. After, like, six days of knowing each other. Danny leaves to go take a Vicodin. Ooh. There's something they haven't really explored on this show -- prescription drug abuse. That might actually be interesting! For a few episodes anyway. Then the abuser would totally get better and it would never be mentioned again all season.
Wes, Lacey, Rachel, and Johanna go out to a bar. Wes and Rachel snuggle on a couch. Rachel talks about how drunk she is, and Wes says he's not that drunk. Suddenly, some girls across the room yell to Wes, "Get a prettier girl!" The camera cuts to them, and two girls are, like, really fakely laughing and pointing at Rachel. This whole scene is really bizarre. Like, it doesn't even feel set up -- it's too scripted-looking to seem set up, if that makes any sense. Anyway, Rachel interviews that it was "a hit to [her] pride." Wes goes over to confront the girls, and they claim they didn't say anything. Rachel pulls Wes away and yells back that the girls are fat. Classy. Rachel interviews that Wes standing up for her made him seem more attractive. Wes interviews that he has no attraction to Rachel at all. Heh. Wes adds that he's attracted to Johanna instead, and would love to hook up with her. In the bar, Wes gets close to Johanna and she pushes him away.
Wes goes up to Johanna and tells her that he's drunk, so he's going to be honest. He admits that he likes her, and she says that Rachel loves him, so she can't get involved with him. Wes thinks that's dumb, because he's made it clear that he's not interested in Rachel. Johanna still won't go for it. Johanna interviews that she's not telling Wes that there might be a possibility for them in the future, because she doesn't want him to hold onto that notion. Wes is embarrassed that he put himself out there like that, and Johanna insists that it's not a big deal. Johanna interviews that she's laughing it off, because she doesn't want Wes to get mad and not be her friend.
The roommates try to walk home, but they're all over the place. Lacey tries to corral them, but it's like herding cats. Lacey interviews that sometimes she feels like the house mother, and girl, I have been there. The roommates get home safely, and Johanna, Wes, and Rachel sit around and stuff food in their faces and gossip. Rachel laments that Wes won't make out with her, and claims that no guy has ever refused to make out with her before. Wes realizes he's about to get into some trouble -- and also, probably, about to puke -- so he stumbles out of the room. And when I say "stumbles," I really mean it -- he walks like someone who just spun around about twenty-seven times and misses the doorway entirely.
Once Wes is gone, Johanna keeps claiming that Wes doesn't like her either, and just thinks of her as a sister. Rachel starts on a whiny "But what's wrong with meeeeeeee?" kick. Johanna is drunk enough to give it to her straight: "You throw yourself at guys. I love you to death, but you're throwing yourself way too much at people. You need to let them want you. And every single one you meet, you don't need to make out with them." Man, do I wish someone had given me that speech when I was nineteen. Rachel whines that she doesn't know how else to attract guys.
In the kitchen, Wes talks to Nehemiah, who I kind of forgot was on the show. Wes confesses that he was trying to hit on Johanna and confessed his love for her. Nehemiah guesses that Johanna laughed and brushed it off. Wes interviews that he was shot down. Nehemiah advises Wes that he doesn't want to get involved with someone he lives with.
Nehemiah finds Danny in the bathroom. Danny says that they just called and moved his surgery up to right now. Nehemiah is shocked, but then realizes that Danny is using Nehemiah's toothbrush. Danny claims he's not, but then realizes that he totally is. Are they trying to say that Danny's all doped up on Vicodin? Or what was the point of that scene?
Rachel hugs Danny goodbye. Danny interviews that Rachel is an amazing person and has really helped him through this. Danny, Melinda, and Danny's dad head for the hospital. As Danny fills out the intake forms, his dad says that Danny needs never to get in another fight. Danny scoffs and says he's going to find the kid who attacked him. Danny's dad suggests that Danny not do that. Danny interviews that his dad is nervous and scared.
Danny gets into a hospital gown and laughs that it's hard to look tough in that outfit. Melinda laughs at him. Meanwhile, Danny's dad talks to the surgeons, who explain that Danny needs surgery immediately or he will have headaches and blurred vision for the rest of his life. As Danny gets an IV put in, the surgeons tells Danny's dad that Danny will need three different plates put into his head. Danny mumbles something and Melinda tells him that he looks hot, even though he's wearing a muumuu. Danny smirks. Melinda interviews that if Danny had never gotten hit, she never would have been able to know him on such a deep level. Yeah, it's a good thing he got hit! Danny interviews that when he's with Melinda, he forgets that he has a broken face. Those two are so dumb that they completely deserve each other. The anesthesiologist shows up, and Melinda interviews that she's starting to get nervous and realize how serious the surgery is. Danny's dad comes in as Danny interviews how glad he is to have his dad there. Danny's dad kisses Danny's forehead and wishes him luck as they wheel Danny off to surgery and the music goes all scary, like, does anyone really think Danny's going to die during surgery?
Danny is wheeled back from surgery. His surgeons meet with Danny's dad and explain that the surgery went well, and that it should take Danny an hour or so to wake up. Danny's dad is kind of hot. Sadly, he's probably closer in age to me than Danny is. (Wow.) Danny's dad and Melinda say hello to Danny, who's still out. Melinda says that it must be hard for Danny's dad to see this. Danny's dad says he's mad and sad and angry all at the same time, and that he wants to hug Danny and strangle him at the same time. He adds that he doesn't want Danny to try to get retribution. Melinda is sure that Danny will do the right thing. Danny starts to wake up a little bit. His dad asks how he feels, and Danny says he feels like he swallowed a Christmas tree. Melinda laughs way too hard, and maybe she should let Danny's father stand to the bed instead of bogarting the patient like that. Melinda interviews that she thinks this will be the start of a good friendship between her and Danny. Melinda finally leaves and probably, inside, Danny's dad is like, "Thank God."
At home, Melinda tells Rachel about the surgery. Rachel interviews that she doesn't mind at all that Melinda has taken over the caregiver role, since Melinda's Danny's "girlfriend" (in air quotes) in the house. So I take that to mean that Rachel minds a whole lot. Melinda says that Danny looked really cute in the hospital. Yeah, men with broken eyeholes are hot! There's probably a website that specializes in that subculture somewhere.
Melinda is clearly not so broken up about Danny that she needs to stay home and pine after him, so she goes out with the other roommates to a bar. They meet Leo, a bartender and manager. Leo, clearly no dummy when it comes to publicity, hangs out with the roommates. The other girls are sure that Leo is digging Johanna. They show the same shot of Leo, like, ten times in a row, like, are we not supposed to notice? Johanna interviews that she's attracted to him at first sight, and that she wants Leo to take a body shot off her. I really don't get body shots. Like, if you want to lick someone, just lick him or her. Don't bring poor, defenseless alcohol into it. So Leo pours some salt in Johanna's belly button, which is so gross, and then sucks it out, which is even grosser. He finishes by taking the lime out of her mouth and making out with her a little bit while Wes looks on in a jealous fashion. Wes interviews that everyone says Leo and Johanna are great for each other, which makes him dislike Leo a whole lot.
Johanna calls her friend Lindsay. She has a lot of friends and calls them often. Johanna drunkenly relates the tale of the body shot. She interviews that Leo is "a Latin lover" and speaks Spanish, so she was psyched. Johanna tells Lindsay that she's in love with Leo, and Lindsay is like, "Whoa. Slow down."
Nehemiah tells Wes that he has a better chance of hooking up with Rachel than with Johanna. Ever the pragmatist, that Nehemiah. Wes interviews that Johanna is trying to be "an exotic Peruvian princess," but that he sees the games she's playing. Wuh? I really don't think Johanna is playing games with him. I think she's just not that into him, or at least not into him enough to be exclusive. Wes complains that Johanna is always flirting with him and touching him and then claiming that she's not interested. Nehemiah points out that she acts like that with Nehemiah too, and that it's just who she is. Wes interviews that he's going to back off Johanna and see what happens in the future. Wes yells, "She wants to play games? I'm better at them." My husband supplies, "Like hopscotch? I'm really good at that. Or jacks? I can get up to fivesies." Wes has a lot of anger. He scares me a little bit. I think it's his Dumb and Dumber haircut.
Melinda sneaks into Danny's hospital room. He pouts that he looks like hell, and Melinda says that he's healing. Danny interviews that having Melinda around makes him feel a lot better. Melinda interviews that Danny's not supposed to go to the gym, in the pool, or have sex. She isn't sure if she can hold out for a week. At first I thought she was saying that she can't go a week without sex, and she may be saying that, but on subsequent viewings, I thought she was saying that she can't go for a week without having sex with Danny, which is kind of a different thing. ["I'm sure she was saying she couldn't hold out a week without going in the pool." -- Wing Chun]
Danny leaves the hospital with his dad and Melinda. Danny hugs his dad and puts him in a cab to the airport. Danny interviews that he wants to be just like his dad when he grows up. Danny and Melinda walk down the street back to the house.