Danny's on the phone with his doctor's office. He tells the person that he can't talk because he's in unbearable pain, but that he would love to talk to the doctor before he goes into surgery. Danny interviews that the doctor has to make an incision behind his eye and pop the bones back out to where they're supposed to be. God, I would just curl up in a ball and cry if that happened to me. Anything involving injuries to the eye just freak me out. Eyes are so vulnerable and squishy.
Danny tells Rachel that he wants to see the tape of the incident, because he wants to know whether he should press charges. Rachel wonders how that will work, since Danny doesn't even know who did it. Danny says that's why he wants to see the tape. Danny interviews that he wants to see the tape for safety reasons, to prevent something from happening to one of his roommates. Huh? Yeah, I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that he wants revenge or justice or something like that. Because it's not like if that one guy gets arrested, no other person in the city of Austin will harass the roommates. Rachel asks if Danny's just going to walk around town with a photo of his assailant, and Danny says he'll give it to the police.
The phone rings in the house, and Rachel tells Danny that the doctor is on the phone. The doctor says that they need the swelling to go down before they perform the surgery. Danny asks how long the healing process lasts after the surgery, and the doctor says it'll be about a week. That doctor could not seem less interested in comforting Danny or answering his questions. Danny interviews that he's nervous about "the up-and-coming surgery." So is the surgery on the rise? Is it America's Star? Danny adds that he's never had anything serious happen health-wise.
Rachel suggests that they all go to the Hard Rock Café and get milkshakes. Why would you go there for a milkshake? Maybe only certain restaurant will let them film inside. I'm just going to go with that idea. Danny says he doesn't want to go out with a giant bandage on his eye, and Rachel asks if it's because he's worried he'll see a pretty girl. Rachel points out that there aren't many prettier girls than Melinda and Jo. Danny says he doesn't think Melinda is interested in him. Rachel interviews that Danny's pulling away from Melinda, because he feels ugly, and like he doesn't deserve her. Why does everyone think she's all that? She must be one charming motherfucker in person. Rachel adds that all of the roommates think Danny and Melinda will hook up.
Nehemiah lies in bed with Melinda and gives her relationship advice. Nehemiah points out that Melinda claims she loves Jason, and yet the first day she met Danny, she felt a connection with him. In conclusion, Melinda doesn't really like Jason that much.
Melinda calls Jason on the phone, and tries to keep it short, since he's talking to her from a bar. Melinda interviews that her phone conversations with Jason are awkward because she gets the vibe that he's not into her anymore. Melinda keeps trying to get off the phone, and then when Jason finally does what she wants and hangs up, she gets pissed off. Mature.
The roommates are all at home when their doorbell rings. They have a package telling them that a taxi will be waiting for them outside at 9:40 AM, which is a weird time. They all assume that this meeting will be about their job. Lacey interviews that she's worried the job will be stereotypical Texan. I think she means like rodeo clowns or something. Oh, that would be genius. How much would you pay to see some of these people get gored by a bull?
That night, Danny sits on the edge of Melinda's bed. Why is Melinda always sleeping? She's rarely out of bed. Melinda asks if Danny's going to go out tonight, and Danny says he'll stay in. He seems kind of depressed. Melinda interviews that she's trying to cheer Danny up, so she decides to stay in and "show him a good time." And by "a good time," she probably means "my asshole." Danny interviews that he used his injury to get sympathy from Melinda, as he chuckles. Danny and Melinda both admit that they are horny and have had sexual thoughts about each other. Melinda wonders if she should just start humping the bed, and Danny says that he can take care of her.
All of the other roommates go out. Jo interviews that Danny and Melinda have a bond, and that it's fine with her, because she wants to go out and have a good time while Melinda stays home and plays nursemaid.
Danny lies on Melinda's bed to talk. Danny counsels Melinda to break up with her boyfriend so that she can really enjoy her time in Austin. Cut to Nehemiah rapping in a club somewhere. Back in Melinda's bed, Danny and Melinda continue their pillow talk. Melinda interviews that it feels good to have Danny in her bed. Cut back to Nehemiah freestyling some more. Nehemiah gets off stage and tells Wes that he wishes Danny and Melinda were there. Cut back to Danny and Melinda spooning in bed. Melinda says that she feels "a really strong connection" with him. Man, is she the perfect Bachelor contestant or what? She falls in love in two days and she totally has the lingo down.
A little later, Danny and Melinda are totally making out. Melinda voice-overs that Danny's supposed to be taking it easy, but that he started it. Just then, the roommates arrive home and totally walk into Melinda's room and just stare at Melinda and Danny. Finally, Danny gets up and leaves. Danny jokes with Nehemiah that they totally interrupted the hookup. All the girls giggle with Melinda as Danny tries to figure out which pain is worse: his eye, or his blue balls.
The morning, the roommates get ready to go to their meeting while complaining that they didn't get enough sleep. Jo interviews that she hopes their job has to do with entertaining and performing. How meta. They pass a lot of road construction, and Wes gets worried that they're going to do manual labor. Ooh, working on a road crew would be another awesome job for them. Anything that involves pain and suffering.
The roommates arrive at some sort of warehouse and search around for an open door. Some giant doors open and reveal a studio inside. John Pierson, an independent filmmaker and author, is inside. He explains to the roommates that they are at the Austin Film Society, which will be sponsoring the roommates. Pierson explains that he's worked with Spike Lee and Michael Moore. At the mention of Michael Moore's name, Rachel makes a retching noise. Because that's professional. Look, I don't like the dude all that much either, for reasons unrelated to his politics, but if my boss mentioned his name, I would keep my trap shut. Because no one cares. Anyway, Rachel explains that she disagreed with his choice to show dead soldiers in Fahrenheit 9/11. I wonder if she's even seen the movie. I haven't (see "Michael Moore, Dislike Of" above), so I wouldn't pretend to know anything about it. But I'm not Rachel. Thank God. Pierson is like, "Moooooving on!" and explains that Moore makes documentaries, and that the roommates will be making one too, about SXSW. Lacey interviews that she's excited, because she would probably attend SXSW even if she wasn't assigned to it. Pierson explains that they'll need to produce, direct, shoot, and edit the film themselves, but that they will get help from Paul Stekler, and that they should go see him soon. Nehemiah interviews that his degree is in film arts, so this is right up his alley.
And now it's time for the Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week. The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was every episode of Beverly Hills, on Soapnet. I watch it every weekday! Right now, they are in the episodes just before Brenda leaves the show. So Andrea is totally having a premature baby, which I think they had to do because they didn't make Andrea pregnant on the show until Gabrielle Carteris was about twenty months pregnant already, so they had to have Andrea give birth prematurely or else it would be really obvious. And my favorite thing to do after every one of Andrea's lines is yell, "Because you're forty!" I can't believe she got hired for the role. And then Steve was dating crazy Laura, the actress who tried to commit suicide in the theater. And Brandon and Kelly are totally cuckolding Dylan, and Dylan's fake stepmother is scamming him, and every day Brenda has a different hairstyle and hair color, and David is singing with Babyface and making out with Ariel in a limo, and Steve is wearing hightops everywhere in case a basketball game breaks out, and Nat is whatever and Jim and Cindy are whatever and I know that pretty soon, Val shows up and I can't wait for her first episode where you think she's all nice and sweet and then at the end she SMOKES POT! I was so scandalized the first time I saw that episode. And it was awesome.
Melinda calls Jason, her boyfriend, and he's slurring his words and not making much sense. He says that he was about to write her off because she hasn't been calling him. Melinda starts crying, like it's a good idea to have a relationship discussion with someone who's drunk. Jason babbles about truth and responsibility and makes no sense. Melinda interviews that you don't say things like that to someone you love. Jason hangs up. Melinda slams down the phone and gets a hug from Nehemiah and Lacey. Nehemiah interviews that Melinda is feeling unwanted. Lacey tries to comfort Melinda by saying that Jason sounds very self-centered. Lacey interviews that she has yet to hear anything good about Jason, except that he gave Melinda "this rinky-dink promise ring." Heh. Nehemiah tries to cheer Melinda up as she says that she would never speak to Jason that way, even if she hated him. I don't really get why what he said was so bad, especially since he was drunk and not making much sense. Nehemiah thinks that Jason knows he's close to losing Melinda, and points out that Danny will treat her right and cares about her more than she knows. Nehemiah quotes some song lyrics to make his point. Danny walks out and hugs Melinda. She interviews that Danny truly cares about her. Danny interviews that he'll be there for Melinda every second. Danny says that Jason doesn't realize how lucky he is.
The roommates go to see Paul Stekler at the University of Texas. He tells them that it will be an interesting job, and introduces PJ, the camera trainer, and Jenn, the sound person. Jo interviews that Paul has a lot of experience with documentaries. Paul tells them that making a film so quickly will be a challenge, and asks what they know about SXSW. Jo says that it's a film and music festival meant to expose talented people. And interactive! That's the part I went to! ["Me too! With you! Good times." -- Wing Chun] Paul explains that it works on two levels. There are famous bands and movies, and then there are up-and-coming bands and filmmakers. He recommends that they focus on an up-and-coming band, because they will have far greater access. He tells them that they'll go to a camera and sound workshop, and tells them to do good work.
Melinda gets an apologetic email from Jason. They show a quick shot of it, and the boy is practically begging her to forgive him. He's also not a great speller. Melinda interviews that she doesn't want to talk to Jason or deal with his note.
As Melinda and Jo walk down the street, Melinda tells Jo about the email. Melinda says that Jason is now saying he wants to get married and have kids, but when she wanted that, he wouldn't give it to her. Jo wants some background on the situation. Melinda says that they were together for a little more than three years, and that Jason broke up with her twice to have sex with other girls. Sounds like a real prize, but if she took him back, she needs to forgive him. You don't get to take back a cheater and then hold the cheating over his head for the rest of the relationship. That's no way to live, for either side. Either forgive and forget, or make a clean break. Melinda interviews that things will be perfect with Jason for months and then he'll revert to his old ways. Melinda tells Jo that she and Jason always argue, and that he always tells her that she's wrong. Melinda thinks that now that she has Danny, she doesn't want to bother patching things up with Jason. Jo thinks that Jason can sense Melinda pulling away, and that's why he's pulling so hard to keep her. Melinda interviews that normally she would be passive in the relationship, but she's learned a lot about herself. In the WEEK that she's been there. Come on, now.
The day, Melinda calls Jason. She thanks him for sending his emails. Jason asks what she thought about them, and Melinda says that she thinks her feelings for Jason have changed. Melinda interviews that Jason broke up with her in their first phone conversation after she was in the house, and that was all she needed to break it off. Jason asks why she can't give their relationship another shot, and Melinda wonders why she always has to be the one to do that, because she's sick of it. Jason, sounding like he's reading from a script, says that he can't believe how much she's changed in a week, and wonders if she has feelings for someone in the house. Melinda admits that she does, but says it wouldn't make her give up Jason if she were really happy with him. Melinda interviews that it feels good to stand up for herself, and that seeing how Danny treats her shows her that she can have a good relationship. Jason asks if they're breaking up, and Melinda says they are. God, what is with these girls who can't function unless they're in a relationship? There's at least one every season, and it drives me insane.
Melinda hangs up the phone and cries. She tells Lacey and Rachel what happened, and says that she feels bad because she's never dumped anyone. Rachel points out that he dumped her two nights earlier, so she shouldn't feel bad. Rachel wonders if Jason figured out that Melinda met someone else, and Melinda says she was honest about it. Rachel reminds her that, on the first day, Melinda says that she had a boyfriend, but that she didn't know if he was the one for her. Yeah, remember when Melinda said that? FIVE DAYS AGO. Melinda jokes (?) that she only said that because she saw Danny.
The roommates all hang out in the kitchen, except Melinda and Danny, who have a talk on the stairs. Danny suggests that Melinda figure out what she wants before hooking up with him. Melinda says she knows what she wants, but Danny doesn't think she does. Melinda interviews that she wants Danny to know that she's completely into him, and that Jason's not a factor anymore. For some reason, Melinda is hanging out in just a towel. Why not her underwear? She loves to hang out in her underwear. Melinda tells Danny that she doesn't need time off from him, and that if she could have him, she would be totally happy. Nothing like relying on someone else for your own happiness. Danny interviews that the smart thing to do is live in the moment. Danny tells Melinda that he's not going anywhere, and Melinda says she likes him a lot.
Danny and Melinda hug and walk into the bedroom. Nehemiah interviews that he knew Melinda and Danny would hook up because they had a connection from the moment they walked in the door. Melinda and Danny get into bed and totally do it.