The roommates are working on the boat, and Brad tells Jacquese that Andrea (his ex) is coming to visit for a long weekend. Brad interviews that he's excited to see Andrea, and curious to see what things will be like between them. Brad claims that he wants to talk to Andrea about their relationship. Frankie whispers that Cameran will have a fit. Frankie interviews that Cameran will be troubled by Andrea's visit, but that she probably won't say anything to Brad. Jacquese and Frankie tell Brad how they think Cameran will act. Frankie offers to bet Brad ten bucks that Cameran will freak out, and Brad takes her up on it.
Brad and Cameran go to eat at a restaurant called Santana's. Cameran chows down on a giant burrito. Cameran interviews that Brad hasn't said anything to her since the bathroom incident, so she guesses he just doesn't want to make an issue of it. Brad interviews that he doesn't know how Cameran feels about Andrea's visit. Cameran tells Brad that Andrea's visit will either make things a lot better or a lot worse. Way to take a stand.
The night before she arrives, Andrea calls Brad and says she's excited to see him. Brad finds out what time her flight gets in and promises to pick her up at the airport. Brad says that he took off work and everything. Andrea is a little nervous that Brad is going out that night, since he has to get up early to get to the airport on time. Brad promises again that he'll be there. Andrea advises him not to get too drunk, and Brad promises again that he'll be there.
Robin and Cameran discuss how drunk Brad is planning to get, and wonder if it has anything to do with Andrea's pending visit. Brad tells Randy that he's going to set his alarm clock for 9:30 AM right now to ensure he doesn't forget. Randy sets the alarm. Wait, he's getting up at 9:30 AM to make it to the airport to pick up someone who has a 9:55 AM flight arrival? They must live, like, door to the airport. Cameran asks Brad if he's planning on drinking a whole bottle of Jack Daniels himself, and Brad says he's going to share it with Randy. Brad talks about how much he hates fraternity parties, which is apparently where they're going tonight. Brad then gives Cameran a lecture of keg tosses versus keg slams. I am so glad I'm too old to attend keg parties anymore.
At the party, Brad gets really, really drunk. Like, stumbling around and slurring and with unfocused pupils and such. Cameran interviews that Brad can be mature, but that when he gets drunk, he gets out of control. Brad stumbles away from the party looking for Randy.
Randy is already home, talking to Jacquese. Jacquese says that everyone is home but Brad. Randy says that Brad was "speaking in tongues wasted," which is a surprisingly accurate description. In a confessional, Jamie says that Brad is nowhere to be found, and that she's worried because Andrea arrives early the morning. Why does Jamie care? It's not her problem. Jamie hopes that Brad isn't physically injured or arrested. Why doesn't everyone yell at Randy they way they yelled at Robin when Cameran was missing? Jacquese interviews that he had a bad feeling about Brad's whereabouts. Randy says he wishes Brad had a cell phone. Doesn't he have a pager? The clock on the stove says that it's 3:02 AM. Randy shows his concern for Brad by eating a burrito.
The morning at 8:22 AM, Brad walks out of county jail without his shoes. Where are his shoes? I don't know. Brad interviews that he doesn't really remember being arrested, but that he spent the night in the drunk tank, and now he needs to get to the airport. Brad yells at passing cars for...I don't know, driving. He tries to hail a taxi by pointing at them like he's going to Jedi Mind Trick them into stopping. He even yells at some guy on a scooter who won't pull over on command. Damn, I could have watched footage of drunk tank shoeless Brad yelling at cars for an entire episode.
Brad gets home somehow (walks?), and takes a shower. He falls into bed at 9:20 AM, and I don't know why he even bothers. His alarm goes off ten minutes later. Cameran asks what happened to him the night before, and Brad says that he was in the drunk tank. Flashback footage shows how Brad got in a fight with some guys and started punching the air. As soon as the cops arrived, Brad got all contrite, but they didn't care. Brad tells Cameran that he didn't do anything. Cameran interviews that Brad is twenty-three, and that his drunk tank days need to end. Word. Cameran suggests that Brad drink some water so that Andrea can't tell how drunk he is. I'm not sure what good that would do, and Brad says that it's too late. Brad looks at the clock and says that Andrea's flight arrives in three minutes. Cameran interviews that she wants to meet Andrea to find out if she's dumb for putting up with Brad's antics, or nice and understanding.
Brad arrives at the airport with a big bottle of water. I hope he didn't drive. Andrea gives him a big hug and giggles that Brad looks like shit. Brad says he knows and explains about the drunk tank. Before Andrea can ask for more details, Brad says that he loves her and that she looks beautiful. I think I forgot to mention that Brad is wearing a red sleeveless t-shirt and silver lamé MC Hammer-style pants. What? I don't know. Brad interviews that Andrea knows how he is, and that she's being very understanding about his situation. Andrea jokingly scolds Brad, and he smiles at her. Oh, good. Randy was driving.
The groups arrives back at the house. Cameran gives Andrea a hug hello and then excuses herself, saying that her stomach is feeling horrible. Cameran interviews that Brad calls Andrea his girlfriend, but that Andrea calls Brad her friend, so it's weird. Brad tries on a shirt that Andrea bought him, and calls it "a top". Hee! Does he wear it with slacks?
Cameran yells that she's been trying to poop out her burrito, which is way more information than anyone needs. I'm not shy about talking about bathroom behavior, but not in public. Or on television. Jacquese interviews that Cameran claims that the burrito is making her sick, but that he thinks that she might be "faking the funk" because Andrea is there.
Brad and Andrea go out to dinner and discuss their relationship. Andrea doesn't want to be the first to talk about it, and tries to get Brad to say something first. They both dance around it for a while. Andrea finally says that she doesn't see why the distance should make things any different. Brad says that it's a long time apart. Andrea asks if he's just talking about the physical aspect, and Brad says that he is. Andrea says that she worries more that he will become emotionally attached to someone. Andrea has really bad highlights. They're chunky, which is fine if that's what you want, but her hair is light brown or dark blonde and then the highlights are, like, burgundy. Bad. Anyway, the editors try to make us believe that Brad is thinking about Cameran as an emotional attachment, but whatever. Andrea finally says that they don't have to talk about it now. Well, that went well.
Cameran is still suffering. Jacquese advises Cameran to take a hot bath. Robin says that smoking a cigarette always makes her "crap." Yeah, that and a cup of coffee. I'm just saying. Frankie interviews that Cameran eats burritos every day and it never bothers her, but suddenly when Andrea arrives, it's a problem. Robin tells Cameran that smoking "relaxes your anal hole." Anal hole? The funniest part is that Jacquese advises Cameran to ask Randy if that's true. Hee! Randy is the anal hole expert of the house.
Randy brings a bunch of skanks back to the house. I'm sorry, but it's true. They're all, like, eighteen and gross. Maybe they're older than eighteen, but I doubt it. Randy gives them all drinks, which is probably illegal. Brad gets introduced to them. Jacquese says that Randy's friends are "straight teenyboppers" and that Randy is "on R. Kelly status right now." Heh. Usually, Jacquese kind of annoys me, but that was funny.
Everyone hangs out on the deck and drinks. I notice that Robin's Marine buddy is there, too. Brad starts yelling and being obnoxious, and Robin says that's the Brad she knows. Andrea asks if that's how he usually is, and Robin says that it is. Brad dances around and yells. Randy interviews that Brad was joking around, and that it seemed harmless, but that he can see why Andrea would get mad.
Andrea goes inside to force Brad to follow her. God, I hate That Girl. So passive-aggressive. If your boyfriend is ignoring you, or being annoying, go and make your own fun and bring it up later, but don't be pouty. Brad follows Andrea inside, and she complains that he's being "ignorant" (is she new?) and paying more attention to Randy's friends than he is to her. Brad can't believe she thinks that. Andrea imitates the girls cooing over Brad.
Cameran lies in her bed and reads a book. Randy and his skanks pile into the confessional. Randy interviews that he and his friends were getting crazy, and that they met up with Brad outside the confessional. Andrea walks down to the confessional, which is sort of in the basement. She goes into the guest room (they have a guest room?) and slams the door. All the skanks are like, "Oooooooooooh!" Brad goes into the guest room and asks Andrea what her problem is. Andrea tells him to go hang out with his "loser friends." Brad asks why she slammed the door and says she's acting like a child. Andrea complains that he showed up drunk at the airport and ignored her the rest of the time. She doesn't think Brad should focus on anyone but her. I see her point, sort of, but if she expected this to be a romantic couple-y trip, she should have made that clear on the phone. Brad interviews that this is why he wanted a break in the first place. Andrea says she's going to bed, and Brad offers to drive her to the airport right now if she's going to act that way. That would be hilarious. Except for the drunk driving part.
And now it's time for the Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week. The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was a two-part episode of Little House on the Prairie where Laura falls in love with Almanzo. It starts out with Nellie graduating from school because she took her exams early (this is important later), and then her parents buy her a restaurant to try to make her more attractive for a husband, which proves that even Nellie's parents know that Nellie is a stone cold bitch. Anyway, Laura meets the new teacher's brother, Almanzo, and thinks he's so dreamy that when he says that she can call him by his nickname, Manny, she accidentally calls him Manly. Hee! Although it's weird that he claimed his nickname was Manny since not one person on the show (except Laura) ever calls him anything but Almanzo. But then Harriet Olson gets wind of a new bachelor in town and tries to set him up with Nellie for a dinner date. The only problem is that Nellie can't cook. So Laura volunteers to cook the dinner secretly, and Almanzo says he wants cinnamon chicken, which sounds totally disgusting if you ask me, and Laura substitutes cayenne pepper for the cinnamon, with predictably slapstick results for Nellie and Almanzo's date. But Almanzo wasn't into Nellie anyway, so it all worked out for everyone but Nellie. And Harriet.
Then Ma and Pa make Laura apologize to Nellie, and Harriet gasps and tsks and it's pretty awesome, but Laura runs away when they try to get her to apologize to Almanzo. So Pa has a heart-to-heart with Laura and tells her that she's not an adult yet, but that she will be when she becomes a teacher. Laura, as usual, takes this totally literally and decides that she needs to graduate and become a teacher immediately. So she borrows Nellie's books to study, and Nellie tells Laura that there wasn't any history on the exam when she took it. So then Laura studies everything but history and on the day of the exam, Almanzo wishes her luck with a kiss on the forehead. Nellie sees this and tells Almanzo that she's going to bring him some cookies at his house later that day. So Laura takes the test -- which of course has a ton of history questions on it -- and runs out crying. As she's sitting in the woods having a good cry, she spots Nellie walking back from her cookie delivery to Almanzo. So Nellie totally rubs it in that she was at Almanzo's house, and Laura confonts Nellie about the history lie, and Nellie smarms it up, and Laura grabs Nellie and tosses her into a nearby pond. So then they start wrestling in the mud! And it was so awesome! And just to make it better, Almanzo picks that moment to drive by and breaks up the fight and Nellie says that Laura will be sorry, and Almanzo takes Laura to his house to get cleaned up, which prompts an excellent slow burn which leads up to a full-fledged temper tantrum from Nellie complete with flailing about in the mud. And the music in the background was a zany version of "Wait 'Til The Sun Shines, Nellie" so props to the music department. So then Harriet shows Ma and Pa how muddy Nellie is and they totally laugh, so Nellie says that Laura attacked her because Nellie saw Laura and Almanzo kissing. So Pa gets all pissed off and takes off to Almanzo's house with Jonathan Garvey. So Pa knocks on the door and starts punching Almanzo. Laura explains what happened, and Almanzo says that Laura's just a little girl. So Pa and Laura both feel like crap. Pa apologizes to Almanzo, and Laura yells that she's a woman, and then runs out and slams the door, because that's an adult thing to do. Which Ma points out, and tells Laura to start acting like a woman if she wants Almanzo to notice her. So then Pa and Laura make up and go fishing, and Laura voice-overs that she knew someday she would be Laura Ingalls Wilder, although frankly, the way Almanzo was portrayed in the show, I'm not sure why Laura thought he was such a good catch, but then again her alternatives were, like, Willie Olson or Albert, I guess. But the whole thing was awesome.
Since Andrea is going to sleep, Brad heads back upstairs. He tells Jacquese and Jamie that it's ridiculous. Apparently, Brad and Andrea were sleeping together in the guest room. Brad went out to say hello to Randy and the skanks, and Andrea left to use the bathroom. So what we saw was Andrea returning from the bathroom. Brad can't believe that they only have two nights together, and this is how they're spending one of them. Two words for you: "hotel" and "room." Brad interviews that this whole weekend turned out to be serious talks, which isn't what he expected. Didn't he say at the top of the episode that he wanted to use this weekend to find out where their relationship was headed? Jacquese advises Brad to sleep down there, despite their fight. Brad goes downstairs. Brad hops into bed with Andrea and snuggles up to her. Brad voice-overs that he does care about Andrea and doesn't want to hurt her.
The morning, Andrea admits that she feels dumb about the way she acted the night. Brad says that everyone has that feeling sometimes. Andrea says that this isn't as much of a vacation as she thought it would be. Brad says that it's not a vacation; it's a living situation. Yes, because of the rent...oops. Okay, because they had to go out and find their own job...oops. But it's going to last indefinitely...oops. Maybe it is kind of like a vacation. Andrea asks if he's still glad that she came, and Brad nods.
Inside, Cameran yells that she feels like shit, and that she rarely turns down drinking and partying. Frankie interviews that Cameran is obviously uncomfortable with Andrea's being there and Brad's paying attention to her. Cameran, Brad, and Andrea all hang out on the deck. Brad interviews that it's possible Cameran is jealous. Cameran interviews that Brad acts like Andrea is his girlfriend even though they are supposed to be taking time apart. Cameran thinks that she misses being somebody's girlfriend. Brad interviews that he and Cameran are on the same wavelength and like to party together. The editors try to make it out like Andrea and Cameran were having a stare-off in their bikinis, but Cameran was probably just staring at Andrea's bad boob job.
That night, Brad and Andrea snuggle in bed together. Brad tries to make a move, but Andrea rebuffs him. Hotel. Room. Brad interviews that Andrea doesn't want to "get it on" while she's there, and that he respects that. Good, because how dare she not want to have sex on national television? Also, "get it on"? Is this 1971? Brad and Andrea go to sleep.
Brad prepares to take Andrea to the airport. Brad interviews that he didn't get as much alone time with Andrea as he wanted (hotel room), and that maybe this isn't the best environment for them to be in a relationship. Brad kisses and hugs Andrea goodbye. Brad interviews that he and Andrea know how they feel about each other, and that it will all work out. Andrea gets in a car and takes off.
The roommates scrub boats at work. Brad heaves a big sigh. Brad interviews that he thinks "the space cushion" is good for their relationship. Is that like zero-gravity boots? Frankie asks Brad if he's sad, and Brad says he's okay. Brad interviews that he and Cameran were flirting for a while, but now he doesn't know what's up, and he can't read Cameran that well.
Back at home, Frankie smarms that Brad owes her ten dollars. God, Frankie was only in this episode for, like, two minutes total, and she still managed to annoy the crap out of me. She's so self-satisfied, for someone who claims to hate herself so much. Brad disagrees, but Jamie sides with Frankie. Oh, if Jamie says so, then it must be true. Frankie interviews that she thinks they saw a side of Cameran they haven't seen before. The irritable bowel syndrome side? Frankie makes a big production out of how Cameran never gets sick from eating burritos, but then Andrea showed up, and Cameran could barely leave her room. Which may be true, but Frankie is so annoying about it that I wish Cameran were really sick. Brad interviews that he doesn't want to argue about it since Cameran could walk in at any minute, so he just pays Frankie the money to shut her up. Frankie interviews, "It feels damn good to always [sic] be right." Everyone say it with me: shut the fuck up, Frankie. Go away. And take your electric pink eye shadow with you. Cameran walks out holding her stomach and asks what everyone is talking about. No one answers.
week: The roommates decide their job is horseshit, and they agree to quit. Can they do that? I hope they get kicked out of the house.