Hey, the roommates are working! At their actual job! Wearing their dorky uniforms! I was wondering what was up with their job. Frankie and Jamie fold up a sail while Cameran and Robin sit nearby and whisper-gossip about Frankie hooking up with Adam. Cameran thinks that Frankie's "a little freak" and calls her "Frankie the Freaknik." They try to make it out like Frankie can overhear the conversation, but since we never see them all in the same shot, I tend to think that Frankie was nowhere near Cameran and Robin. Robin thinks that Frankie's got issues (like you're one to talk, jailbird), and Cameran thinks that Frankie just needs to be hugged.
The roommates arrive at the marina and step onto the dock. Cameran and Robin walk along and continue their discussion. Robin says that she doesn't like Adam because he's "a cocky little son of a bitch." Cameran interviews that Adam has "no personality and basically is just like a walking vegetable." But what about the time he...and the time that he...yeah, Cameran's totally right. Adam, for all his body modification and modern primitive aesthetic, is boring. Cameran complains about Adam's earlobes, calling them disgusting. Cameran tells Robin that she doesn't understand why Adam brings his whole crew of friends every time he comes over. Robin thinks Adam is trying to deflect attention from him and Frankie. Why? For the cameras? That won't work. And does anyone else care if Frankie and Adam hook up? Good theory there, Robin. Cameran points out that Frankie said that when she's drunk, she does stupid things. Robin interviews that someone should tell Frankie that everyone is sick of hearing how she's in love with Dave, right before she goes and makes out with Adam.
Frankie calls Adam on the phone and says that she's in a bad mood. Adam asks what's wrong, and Frankie says that she's probably done some things that Dave won't be happy about. Who cares? What is he, your conscience? Now I'm picturing Dave in a little Jiminy Cricket outfit. Hee. With the top hat and the spats and the walking stick? Hee hee. Frankie interviews that she remembers sitting outside with Adam and "getting a little kissy," and "things get groggy at about that point." I hope I never hear Frankie use the word "groggy" again, because shut up, Frankie. Adam says that he doesn't think Frankie has done anything that bad, and Frankie agrees, but says that Dave won't be happy. Frankie interviews that she prays "that Dave will be understanding and forgiving of this whole damn situation." See? She's still not taking responsibility for what happened. She says, "this situation" instead of "my mistakes." If she doesn't think she made a mistake, then she shouldn't be so mopey and apologetic. And if she does think she made a mistake, then she should own it. Bleh.
The roommates, once again, prepare to go out. Jamie and Jacquese decide not to go into the club. Jacquese interviews that it's not his "type of environment," so he decided to walk around the streets and see what was going on. Back at the club, Cameran's ID passes muster and she gets in. Cameran interviews that Robin told her that if anything happened, Robin would be there with her. Inside the club, Cameran and Robin start drinking. Randy interviews that because Cameran is younger, they all feel like they should babysit her, because "she doesn't understand certain things that we all take for granted." On first viewing, I had no clue what in the hell Randy was talking about. She doesn't understand how to order drinks? Or dance? Because that's all they seem to do in these clubs. Cameran tells Robin that they have to stay together, and they walk off holding hands.
Robin interviews that they were meeting guys, and that Cameran was talking to one guy while she talked to someone else. At some point, they got separated, and Robin lost track of time. Cameran interviews that she met this guy named Ryan and that he seemed nice, and that she didn't listen to the voice in her head telling her that it was wrong. I can't believe Ryan signed the consent form to have his face on camera. Cameran continues, saying that they went downstairs and she saw a bunch of people wiping their noses because they just did cocaine, and then Ryan asked her if she was okay, and she was stunned. Okay, I am a rube, and I would probably be internally a little shocked if I inadvertently walked into a room full of people doing any sort of drug, but I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Who cares? That's their problem. Unless they were, like, forcing me to do it somehow, which I can't really imagine. Cameran concludes that Robin was nowhere to be found. Oh no! Now the cocaine monster will get Cameran! And you know he's super-fast.
Robin is on the dance floor with her new guy friend. Robin interviews that everyone in the house thinks that Cameran is her responsibility. Cameran finds Randy and Brad, and I have to wonder why they aren't responsible for Cameran too. The three of them look for Robin, and Cameran starts freaking out a little and whining. Brad asks how Cameran lost Robin, and Cameran starts yelling at him, nearly crying. Randy interviews that Cameran "lacks the ability to have street smarts." So she will never have street smarts? Randy also thinks Robin needs to be a positive role model for Cameran. I guess that's true if Cameran needs someone to show her the proper way to get drunk, scream, cry, and punch some random dude in the shoulder.
Outside, there's big drama as Robin shows up, crying. Cameran is all hugging Robin like she was lost at sea or something. Robin asks Randy where he was, and Randy says that they paged Robin. Robin is so drunk that she can't even form words. Brad and Randy yell at Robin for ditching Cameran. Robin tries to talk to the guy she met, and Brad rips on her for meeting "random guys." Yes, because Brad never talks to random girls. Fuck off, Brad.
Jacquese and Jamie are off talking shit about their roommates. Jacquese says that little things are starting to get on his nerves. Jamie totally agrees. Jamie interviews that Robin has a hard time recognizing or accepting her own faults. Jamie tells Jacquese that Robin is always the victim, even when she gets arrested. Jacquese interviews that Robin never takes responsibility for problems she causes. Jamie interviews that everyone makes mistakes, and that Robin makes a lot of them.
The roommates pile in the SUV and head home. Brad interviews that it doesn't matter what anyone else wants, and that only Robin's good time matters. Cameran starts screeching that she's never seen anyone snort cocaine. Brad interviews that he's done with the drama, because he doesn't like it. Man, did he come on the wrong show. Brad says he can understand Cameran's actions, but Robin should know better, because she's older. Robin whacks Brad with her purse. Brad says he doesn't want to press charges, and he's laughing, but he's not kidding. Brad channels my brother when he says, "Two rules: don't touch me, and don't touch me." Actually, my brother had two additional rules: "Stay fifty feet away from me at all times, and live in fear." Ah, siblings. Brad seriously tells Robin not to hit him ever again. Robin smacks him in the back of the head. Brad gets angry and tells Robin to shut her fucking mouth.
The roommates arrive back home. Robin rushes into the house while Brad continues complaining to Cameran about Robin's behavior. Robin interviews that she got home and went straight to bed, because she knew there would be a fight if she stayed up. Brad yells that no one else in the house would be okay with getting slapped in the head. Robin interviews that Brad is just mad that Cameran went off with some guy, so he's taking it out on her. Yeah, I'm sure that's all it is. Wasn't there an episode of Friends where Joey dated a girl who thought it was cute to punch people? And she really hurt them? And she was played by Punky Brewster? That's Robin. Jacquese comes outside and noses into the situation. Brad yells that Robin kept slapping him in the head. Jacquese interviews that Robin has self-control problems. Jacquese is outraged! Outraged!
The morning, while they all get ready for work, Brad tells Robin that he doesn't want to get into a fight now, but that he wants Robin to know that it's not like he can't take a hit. Robin is all smiles, and says that she was just kidding. Brad says that, in the middle of an argument, Robin hit him four times. Robin says that she only hit him once. Brad says that she hit him three times with her purse and once with her hand. Robin apologizes insincerely, says that sometimes she doesn't want to discuss things, and that she just wants Brad to shut up. Brad says that he won't take it. Robin apologizes, but then says that she wouldn't do it under other circumstances. I guess she means she wouldn't do it if she wasn't drunk. She doesn't seem to get that apologizing and then offering an explanation diminishes the apology. Brad interviews that Robin thinks she can do whatever she wants, and then make excuses. Robin gets upset and starts babbling something about how every time she's gotten in a fight, it's been because she was trying to help someone. So who was she trying to help by hitting Brad? Randy interviews that Robin doesn't get it, and that her apologies are insincere, because she doesn't try to see the other person's side. Randy tells Robin that they have to watch out for each other. Robin can't even form a full sentence at this point, and Randy points out that she's still just making excuses. Robin interviews that Randy won't shut up and listen to her. Robin yells something about "poor innocent Cameran," and runs away. I do see what the roommates are saying about Robin's lame apologies, but I don't get why she has to be Cameran's protector.
Frankie talks to Dave on the phone and says that she's lonely and scared. Dave asks why she's scared, and Frankie says she's scared of losing him, because he's already talked about splitting up with her. Oh, give him a guilt trip because you're a nutbag. Dave points out that Frankie talked about flirting with other guys, and that if she wants to do that, it's okay, but that he's not about to sit home and wait around for her. Frankie interviews that she met Adam for a reason. To show her that she's not happy being in a relationship? Actually, Frankie thinks it's to prove that Dave is the one for her. What? I don't know. I've given up trying to follow her thought process. Frankie wants Dave to promise that if he sees something on the show that is "open for interpretation," he won't just leave her. Oh, fuck off. Dave says that he doesn't want to leave her, but that he also doesn't want to look like a fool. Frankie starts crying and says she knows she's told him things that hurt him, and that she hates that, and that she's sorry if she hurt him, and that she wants to change. Oh, she's totally keeping him on the hook, since the guilt trip didn't work out.
Frankie interviews that Dave has taken her "on a roller coaster from hell" since she's been there. Dave has taken her where? What has Dave done besides insist that she remain faithful? And act jealous when he suspects that he's not. The nerve! Frankie adds that sometimes Dave says he loves her, and sometimes he says he wants to break up with her. Because sometimes she is kind to him, and sometimes she makes out with other guys. Man.
The female roommates walk on the beach. Jamie tells Frankie that Dave means a lot to her. Frankie asks why she keeps doing stupid things to jeopardize their relationship. Well, she either doesn't really want to be in a relationship, or she wants to test Dave's love. Both of which really suck. Jamie interviews that she thinks that Frankie wants to be with Adam, but that she's keeping it "under wraps" so that she doesn't screw things up with Dave. Frankie says that she's scared of losing Dave, because she doesn't have a long time later to be with someone. Jamie interviews that the average person with Cystic Fibrosis lives to the age of twenty-seven, so she understands why Frankie wants to live a full life. Which is exactly why she shouldn't hop into a long-term relationship. Live it up while you're healthy.
In a confessional, Frankie sobs and says that she hates herself and she doesn't care about herself enough to take her medicine. She knows that her disease will kill her, and she hasn't told Dave any of it, but she's told her roommates all about it. While it's tempting to think that Frankie means that she hasn't told Dave about her disease at all, I find that hard to believe. I think she's saying that she hasn't told Dave how she feels about the prospect of dying, and how she wants to live her life as a result. Frankie says that Dave is the first person she's met that knows what she thinks before she says it. She also feels that she pushes away anything that's good for her. Man, does that girl need some serious therapy. I do feel for her condition, but we're all going to die, and we don't know when, and that's no excuse to be selfish and treat other people like crap. I guess most of us have the luxury of denial about our mortality, and Frankie doesn't. Wow, that was kind of a downer.
And now it's time for the Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week. The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was a movie called A Face to Kill For starring Miss Crystal Bernard and Mr. Doug "Matt on Melrose Place" Savant. Crystal Bernard was the daughter of a horse rancher, and she was in a car accident as a teen, which left her disfigured, and also apparently unable to say the word "Daddy," because she kept pronouncing it "Diddy" and then I kept picturing her father being played by P. Diddy and it cracked me up. Anyway, Crystal was married to Matt from Melrose Place, except he was straight, and he was actually pretty good in the role, which just makes it sadder that he was never given a plot line on Melrose Place. So Matt is just married to Crystal in the hopes that he will inherit the horse ranch, and then he dopes up the horses and frames Crystal and Diddy for it. So Crystal goes to jail and Matt tampers with Diddy's car so that he dies in an accident and Matt takes over the ranch, and then he tricks Crystal into signing divorce papers while she's in jail. So then Crystal meets a sassy black lady in prison who teaches her self-esteem and then Crystal gets beat up in a fight and the doctor somehow does some experimental surgery that gets rid of the scar. Cut to Crystal post-Extreme Makeover, and she's taken on a new identity, and she's going to stick it to evil Matt. So she makes a bunch of money through investments, which she learned in prison of course, and she tries to buy back Diddy's horse farm, but Matt isn't having it, so she resorts to trickery and chicanery and exposes Matt for the sleaze that he is and he goes to jail, and Crystal ends up looking hot and hooking back up with her high-school boyfriend, who wasn't all that cute, but they seemed happy together. Which is awesome.
The female roommates plus Randy head to a mall. Cameran spots (NOOOOO!) a trucker hat kiosk. Oh, dear Lord. Cameran wants to get one embroidered, and jokes that Robin should buy one that says "United States Marine Corps." Frankie picks one out and gets it embroidered to say "Dave Rocks." Gag me with a spoon. Setting aside the trucker-hat issue, who over the age of fourteen would think that was cool? Actually, I still haven't quite gotten over the fact that there are trucker-hat kiosks in our nation's malls. I'm also annoyed by Frankie's fashion choice of "bra straps hanging down the shoulders." The first time I saw it, I thought they just slid down, but I've seen it on her three or four times now, so it has to be a choice. And it's unacceptable. Cameran is just as disgusted as I am. Frankie tells the vendor that Dave is her boyfriend, and she tells someone else that at least Dave will know that she was thinking about him. Frankie interviews that she wants to make Dave believe that she loves him. Wow, how could she do that? Maybe stop making out with other guys?
Frankie gets home and calls Dave, who sounds sad. Frankie asks what's wrong. Frankie interviews that the whole situation has been very stressful for both of them, and that they have to stop hurting each other and themselves. Frankie tells Dave not to be sad. Oh, okay. Now that she's has ordered him to be happy, I'm sure he'll perk right up. Dave says that he misses her a lot, and Frankie returns the sentiment. Dave says that he feels inadequate. Frankie interviews that Dave's pride is important, so she's going to say what he needs to hear. Dave must have gotten all emotional after watching An American Tail, because he tells Frankie to go outside and look at the moon and know that he's looking at the same moon. Frankie agrees to do it, and they tell each other that they love each other.
Frankie heads outside and frantically starts searching for the moon. Jacquese asks what she's looking for. Frankie tells him, and Jacquese says that it's behind some clouds. Frankie says that she'll just wait, then. Okay, I have to confess that when my now-husband and I first started dating, we were apart from each other, and one night I was sitting outside at work on a smoke break and looked up at the moon and thought of the song "Somewhere Out There" and got a little sad. But first of all, I was twenty-one, so I was melodramatic. And second of all, we had only been dating for about six months. And third of all, I thought it to myself, but I never said it out loud to anyone, including him, because it is so smurfy. And I recognized that about five minutes later, put out my cigarette, and went back to work. In other words, get a grip, Frankie. I think Dave was being kind of metaphorical, and didn't actually mean that you had to go and look at the moon, or your relationship would die. Frankie interviews that she believes in "omens and signs," and that it's freaking her out that she can't find the moon. Jacquese tries to humor Frankie by saying that he doesn't think the moon is coming out tonight. Frankie says that she'll sit there until she sees the moon, even if it takes days. Or if Adam calls. Whichever happens first. Luckily, the moon comes out, and Frankie spots it and says that everything is okay now. Jacquese shakes his head like, "Bitch crazy." Frankie interviews that she thinks that she was fated to see the moon and that it seals her love for Dave. Oh, whatever.
The morning, Jacquese tells Jamie that Robin needs attention, and that he doesn't like going out with her, because bad situations happen. Jacquese adds that Robin is the source of every big conflict in the house. Jacquese interviews that he's sick of Robin's shit, and that she always makes excuses instead of apologizing. Jamie interviews that Robin lack responsibility. Frankie interviews that everyone feels that Robin just makes excuses.
Frankie asks Robin to sit outside with her. Frankie sits down and says that she wants to discuss this in a calm manner, because they all get defensive when people point out their mistakes. Robin says that she's not trying to make excuses, but that she wants people to know her reasons. Frankie says that everyone is tired of the excuses, and that they just want Robin to take responsibility for her actions. I can't believe Frankie is giving Robin a lecture on owning her mistakes. Frankie says she knows that Robin knows she can't do whatever she wants, but that the other roommates don't see that. In a confessional, Robin says she knows that she needs to work on some things, and find a happy medium between making her roommates happy and making herself happy.
Robin interviews that she's starting to realize that she did something to make her roommates upset. Robin tells Brad that she said things that she didn't mean, especially while drunk. Brad says that Robin makes personal attacks on her roommates. Robin says she knows that she needs to work on that. Brad asks if Robin agrees that she needs to be accountable for her actions. Robin says again that she doesn't mean what she says while she's drunk. Brad says that when she gets physical, he snaps, and when he confronts her, he brings up things that the other roommates are thinking, too. Robin interviews that Brad shoots straight with her, and that she likes that. Of course, he wasn't the one who went and told her that everyone was mad at her. That was Frankie. Brad says that Robin says stupid things when she's drunk, and they both start laughing about it. Robin interviews that she's made amends, and that she's not going to give up on herself or her roommates. Brad confirms that he and Robin don't have a problem. Robin says she didn't want to be the black sheep. Brad says that they're all black sheep, and I don't even know what that means.
week: Robin meets a guy who's a Marine. Cameran is naïve about "a faster lifestyle."