Due to technical difficulties, there will be no Most Awesome Thing this week. Tune in week for a new Most Awesome Thing, and in the meantime, enjoy the recap.
Frankie and Jacquese get out of the SUV. I don't know exactly when Frankie's attire morphed from "alternative" to "streetwalker," but it happened sometime between the last two episodes. Frankie is wearing a tight black camisole with a leopard-print visible bra underneath; a black leather miniskirt; and knee-high black leather boots with fishnet tights. Frankie greets Adam, her earlobe-stretching friend. Jacquese interviews that Adam is Frankie's "friend quote unquote." Shouldn't he have put the quotation marks around the word "friend"? Jacquese adds that, everywhere the roommates go, Adam seems to be there, and that Frankie should be careful. Frankie and Adam giggle together in a club. Frankie interviews that she and Adam share a lot of the same interests (which I'm sure include piercings, tattoos, the early works of Jean-Paul Sartre -- except maybe that last one) and that's what makes a relationship. Well, that and the ability of both parties to enter into the relationship freely and unencumbered by a boyfriend back home.
Adam asks Frankie if she wants to get some tattoos while she's in San Diego. Frankie says that her boyfriend would probably be jealous if she got a tattoo from someone else, because "it's kind of like a 'claiming your territory' kind of thing." Sounds more like an asshole kind of thing, but then again, unless I hear Dave directly say that he feels that way, I tend to think that Frankie just made it up. And didn't they break up? Why is she still calling Dave her boyfriend? Frankie interviews that she and Dave broke up (I thought so!), and that she's just going to live her life. Adam asks Frankie how many piercings she has besides the ones on her face. It sounds like Frankie says she has twelve in her face. Well, that seems a little excessive. Adam immediately asks Frankie if her nipples are pierced. Frankie nods. Adam asks if they are horizontal or vertical. Frankie says she has both. Ouch! I don't understand that. And also, ouch. Adam is impressed. Me? Not so much.
Frankie interviews that Adam is good-looking, but that she really just wants someone cool to hang out with. Adam monotones that he hates cigarettes, and that he only smokes them when he's nervous or bored, and that he's nervous right now. Frankie asks why, and Adam says that she makes him nervous, but that it's not a bad thing. Frankie smiles, because she's getting the male attention that she craves.
The day, Frankie wanders around the house in Cameran's trucker hat. Cameran asks what Adam said, and whether Frankie likes him. Frankie claims that she doesn't like Adam "like that." Cameran interviews that Frankie likes Adam, even if she denies it. Frankie says that Adam is a nice guy. Cameran assures Frankie that Adam likes her, and Robin says that Adam told her Frankie is hot. Frankie insists that this doesn't mean he likes her. Jamie sits there silently, wisely staying out of this Frankie-ego-stroking conversation. Frankie interviews that "outsiders" (like Matt Dillon and Ralph Macchio?) are going to "put a spin on the Adam/Frankie saga," but that what matters are "the intentions of the people involved." Sounds like post-incident damage control to assuage the at-home boyfriend to me. I heard a lot of that from my freshman-year roommate, who would kiss guys at parties and then insist to her boyfriend that no matter what he heard from their mutual friends at our school, she definitely didn't cheat on him, and they're just haters spreading rumors. Thank God she broke up with him at Thanksgiving break. Frankie insists that she and Adam are just friends. Uh-huh.
Brad and Randy agree that Cameran is awesome. Randy adds that Cameran "can hang." The highest of compliments. Brad says that Cameran kneed him in the nuts last night, and he still likes her. Wait, that's the highest of compliments. And judging by the boys' speech patterns, I do mean "high." Brad says that when he first met Cameran, he never thought she'd be like this. Brad interviews that he doesn't know if he's sexually attracted to Cameran (he doesn't?), but that "when you evaluate all the circumstances involved in the situation, that's when you've got to make your final decision." There were a lot of words in that sentence, but I'm not entirely sure it made sense. Brad says that he doesn't want to feel like he broke up with his girlfriend for Cameran. Randy says that because Cameran is young, she probably just has a crush on Brad, and that it would be bad for Brad to "cash in" on that. Yes, Cameran is a young woman, and thus incapable of rational thought or decision-making. Unlike Randy and Brad, two men of the world. Brad totally agrees, and says that he and Randy need to find the right club or bar, or even drink on the beach. Randy heard that the beach might be hot. I heard that the ocean might be wet.
Brad and Randy carry a keg into the house. Robin interviews that she met this guy named Walker (Walker? I hardly know 'er!), and that he brought over a keg and five girls. They all got drunk and played drinking games like "flip the cup." I'm not famliar with that one, but like many drinking games, it appears to involve forcing increasingly inebriated people to perform tasks which require fine motor skills. So the more drunk you are, the less you can perform, and then the more drunk you get. Walker had better also hope that no one decides to charge him with providing alcohol to minors, since nineteen-year-old Cameran is downing beers with everyone else.
Brad talks to this girl named Kristen about how he loves flat shoes, and he doesn't even like wearing shoes. I don't know. They're drunk. Cameran sees them talking and makes an irritated face. She asks Robin to go inside to talk. Cameran interviews that Kristen is hanging all over Brad, and that Cameran is jealous because she wonders if Kristen is "cuter or cooler than [Cameran]." Why blame Kristen? She doesn't know that Cameran has a crush on Brad, and even if she did, she doesn't know Cameran from Adam. (In the figurative sense, not Adam the Earlobe Guy.) Cameran tells Robin that Kristen is "trash." What ever happened to sisterhood? Robin says that Brad is thinking with his penis, but that he likes Cameran on a different level. Or, Cameran has given Brad no indication that she's serious about him, and they aren't dating, and they haven't even kissed, so somehow Brad was supposed to surmise from that fact that Cameran's kneeing him in the nuts meant true love always.
Cameran decides that she's going to say something to Brad, and Robin is not a true friend, because she doesn't stop Cameran from making a drunken fool of herself. Also, do you think Cameran has many pairs of white shorts, or does she just wear the same ones all of the time? Because she wears those shorts more than she wears that stupid trucker hat, and that's saying something. Cameran walks outside and sees Brad and Kristen hugging. She peeks out and then runs back inside. Cameran interviews that it's worse because it's happening in her own house. The nerve of that Brad! Cameran runs inside and jumps in bed with Robin. Not like that. Cameran tells Robin what she saw. Robin says that Brad is thinking with his penis, and that Cameran should leave it alone. Cameran says that she doesn't care anymore. Outside, oblivious Brad kisses Kristen.
Kristen and her friends leave. Brad hugs Kristen goodbye. Randy interviews that he and Brad are both being careful with women, and trying to "experience things without really getting involved." The girls walk out, and Randy comments that they were "God-awful," and that he's been "pent up here way too long when those girls start looking good." What was wrong with them? Besides that they were probably just there for the cameras. Shut up, Randy. Brad suggests that they "put a dent in that keg," which I would imagine is already pretty dented. Randy's into it. Brad demands that Jacquese join them.
Brad goes in and orders Cameran to join them. Cameran screams that she's not going to. Brad says that it's "a roommate situation." Brad is like an alcoholic Tony Robbins with the inspirational speeches. Cameran says that she's lost all respect for him, and that he and Randy are disgusting. Brad doesn't get it. Cameran keeps saying that Brad is "a typical boy." Brad thinks that Cameran is "misinterpretating [sic] the situation." Cameran wishes Brad and Randy would think that they were "a little bit better than the trash that [they] had over." Cameran interviews that Brad is "running her around in circles." Who's running in circles? Cameran insists that Brad just wanted a piece of ass, and Brad denies it. Cameran interviews that maybe she's telling herself she doesn't care, but that she really does. Cameran lies back down and says that it doesn't matter, and Brad continues trying to convince her to join them. Finally, Brad gives up and walks out, and Cameran groans, "Oh, my God."
Frankie, Robin, and Jamie go to the mall and eat dinner in the food court. Robin says something about finding the right guy and just knowing. Jamie asks if Robin has ever cheated on anyone. Robin says that she has. Frankie senses that the focus of attention is off herself, so she pipes up and says that she has, and that she's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had. She amends that to say that she never cheated on her ex-fiancé (she was engaged?), and that she's never cheated on Dave. I guess that depends on your definition of "cheating." Robin says that she did cheat on a serious boyfriend, but that it was "a good cheat." Oh, well that's okay, then. Jamie turns into Ricki Lake and asks what they consider cheating: "Having feelings for another person, kissing, holding hands." Robin isn't sure, but she definitely thinks that having feelings for someone else is cheating. Well, not if you don't act on them, right? I mean, if you have strong feelings for someone else, you should probably break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, but if you don't act on those feelings while still in the relationship, you didn't cheat. Not that they asked me.
Frankie says, "If you get drunk, and you make a mistake, and you have sex with somebody, that's not cheating. It is to a certain extent, but it's forgivable." I still have never quite understood how you accidentally have sex with someone. Accidentally kiss when you are drunk? That I kind of get. But at some point, doesn't your brain kick in and tell you that it's wrong? Robin and Jamie just kind of stare at Frankie like, "Jigga wha?" Frankie adds, "When it's like, you've seen each other over and over and over again, and you guys are always at parties together and you always kind of hint around at having sex, and then you finally do have sex, that's cheating. When there's feelings involved, that's cheating." I think if you find yourself spending a lot of time with someone other than your boyfriend, and hinting around at having sex, that means it's time to break up with your boyfriend. I guess that's where Frankie and I part ways.
Frankie wears a black and red Hello Kitty t-shirt, a black miniskirt, and red and black striped over-the-knee socks that were probably cute in, like, 1996, but I haven't seen them since. She calls Adam, and he asks what she's going to do. Frankie interviews that she invited Adam over to the house to hang out. Brad and Randy actually expect me to believe that they are playing chess. That would actually be an entertaining game to watch. Frankie pops the cork on a bottle of champagne and starts slugging it right out of the bottle. Hey, if you're drunk, whatever happens is an accident and forgivable, in Frankie's world. So if Adam is coming over, she had better get good and drunk! In case an accident happens! Frankie manages to down most of the bottle herself. Jacquese interviews that when Adam is coming over, "the exclusive Hello Kitty shit comes out." He adds that you don't get all dressed up to chill with friends.
Adam and his friend Todd show up, and Frankie shows them out to the deck. Frankie interviews that Adam is fun, and that he has fun friends, and that if she hangs out with him, she'll have fun, and that's it. Yeah, that Todd looked like a real ball of laughs. He also looked a little bit like Jesus Quintana in The Big Lebowski. I know a couple that named their dog after that character; my dog used to go to the same day care. It's pronounced the same way as Jesus Christ. Believe me, we had a lot of fun singing songs to our dog like, "What a Friend You Have in Jesus," and "Jesus Loves You." We know that we are going to hell. Frankie sits down to Adam and announces that she's drunk. The international young woman's mating call! Jamie interviews that Adam obviously adores Frankie, and that when Frankie drinks, she lets go of her inhibitions and isn't as strong as she normally is. Frankie sits on Adam's lap and whispers in his ear. Jamie wishes them both goodnight and heads inside. I think she took Adam's friend with her, but I'm not sure.
Frankie straddles Adam. They make small talk, pretending that she's not grinding on him right now. He whispers that she's torturing him, and Frankie insists that she isn't. Frankie says that Adam could choose to act on it, and he doesn't. Well, not after you told him all about your boyfriend. Adam says that he wants to attack her, and Frankie tells him to go for it. They start making out. Adam says he wants to kiss her forever and stay forever. They make out some more. Then there's a cut, and Frankie walks Adam out. Or stumbles Adam out, since she's a little shaky on the pins. Did something else happen? I'm sure they would have showed it if it did, since they had cameras right there.
Frankie runs right inside and calls Dave, staying true to her pattern of cheating on him and then calling him up to make sure he's good and jealous. She slurs that she loves him, and then yawns. Dave asks what Frankie did, because he knows she did something, because he called her a long time ago. Frankie slides off the chair and onto the floor. She curls up and passes out. Dave is all, "Hello? Frankie?" And Frankie is all, "Zzzz." So Dave hangs up.
The morning, the cameras show all the signs of Frankie's situation. Some dogs in a boat! The beachhouse! A blender! Many bottles of liquor! Cheese in a can! A champagne cork to one flip-flop! The phone, still off the hook! Much like last night's party. That's so irresponsible. What if someone was trying to call to arrange bail? Frankie wanders around the house with a towel on her head to shield her eyes from the light. The light of virtue, that is! Robin laughs that Frankie slept in her clothes. Frankie croaks that she slept in the phone room. Robin interviews that Frankie says that nothing happened with Adam, but that she looks guilty. Jacquese walks into the bathroom and asks Frankie whether she knows where she slept last night. Frankie smiles and says she slept in the phone room. Jacquese asks if she remembers anything that happened the night. Frankie looks worried, and Jacquese says that he's just asking. Frankie says that nothing happened. Jacquese interviews that he has a funny feeling something happened. He is such a Nosy Parker. Jacquese asks Frankie what happened on the deck. Then he mumbles something and swears a lot, but I think he said that some wild shit happened the night before. Frankie looks worried again. Did she accidentally have sex? Was she drunk enough that it was forgivable? Frankie insists that it wasn't too crazy, and Jacquese says that it was just the norm.
Jacquese, Robin, and Randy sit out on the deck. A chair has been knocked over. Jacquese insists that something happened out there. Robin says it looks like a tornado ran through there. Jacquese keeps saying that something happened, and Robin asks what he means. Jacquese says that he felt a vibe when he came outside, and that he knows that something happened. Robin says that whenever you have people over, things get messed up. Jacquese says that he's "a bootyologist," and that he knows these things. I want to find Jacquese funny, but something about him prevents that from happening. I think he's too judgmental, and he seems way more concerned about what the women are getting up to than the men. Notice that he wasn't giving Brad shit after he kissed Kirsten. He was probably high-fiving him. But he's giving Frankie a hard time. Robin and Randy ask Jacquese if he smelled something. Jacquese interviews that he thinks someone had sex out there. Jacquese points out that "the grass just ain't green today," and the camera focuses on the Astroturf. Randy says it's been rolled on. Ouch. That would hurt. Jacquese says he needs to do a forensic exam. He kneels down and sniffs the ground. Randy says it's like when crime people come in and reenact the scene. It's like Real World: C.S.I. Jacquese interviews, "Someone said hello to that kitty last night." That would've been funny, but then he had to add, "And I'm not talking about that one on her shirt." Oh, he ruined the joke.
The camera focuses on a framed piece of paper with Dave's phone number written on it, and a framed photo of Dave and Frankie. Frankie asks Cameran if she's a good girlfriend. Um, no. Also, they broke up. Cameran asks Frankie what she did, and whether she hooked up with someone. Frankie says that she didn't, but that she knows Dave will be upset. Frankie interviews that she doesn't remember specific details of what happened with Adam, because when you're drunk, that's when things get groggy. And then you accidentally have sex! But it's forgivable. Frankie says that Dave gets very jealous when she talks to someone else. Well, that's cool. She didn't talk to Adam that much. Mostly because she was too busy shoving her tongue down his throat.
Frankie says it's not fair for her to do the things she thinks are okay, and then be confronted by Dave, because he thinks they're not. Well, if she wants to do things that he doesn't think are okay, then they should break up. Which they did! Argh. Cameran interviews that Frankie doesn't know what she wants. I think she knows exactly what she wants. She wants to do whatever she wants while she's in San Diego, but then she wants Dave waiting for her when she gets home. Or she wants to keep him as a backup. Frankie says that her intentions aren't to hurt Dave, but that she knows she's done some things that he won't like. Cameran says it's stupid for Dave to think Frankie won't talk to any guys for four months, or have any fun. Yeah, how silly of him to expect her to be monogamous! They should break up. Which they did. Cameran thinks Dave sounds possessive, which is exactly what Frankie wants her to think, so that then Cameran will think that Frankie must be really great if Dave is hanging onto her so tightly. And she'll also feel sorry for Frankie and understand when Frankie has to break away and talk to other guys. So basically, Frankie gets a free pass. Cameran insists that it will work out, and that she shouldn't dwell on it. Frankie interviews that she's going to tell Dave they need to talk, and that he'll know what that means. Cameran says that she does think Frankie is a good girlfriend. Based on what evidence? Frankie agrees.
The roommates all decide to go to a hookah bar. Cameran interviews that she's had a crush on Brad the whole time, and that he doesn't pay her any attention (he doesn't?), and now he's kissed another girl. Man, what a jerk! I hate the women on this show. Except Jamie. So far. Cameran is wearing the double bill of the white shorts and the trucker hat.
Brad gives Cameran a piggyback ride outside the hookah bar. Cameran interviews that they will always have a bond of humor. Cameran tries to knee him in the nuts again, and he tells her to cut it out. I don't understand why that would be good flirting technique. I had to call in my husband for a consultation on this issue, because, you may be surprised to hear, I do not have nuts. So he said that he would think that she was flirting, but that it would also be annoying. If she's not successful, you're just on guard all night. And if she is successful, you're feeling the worst pain that a man can feel. I offered up a titty-twister as a possible alternative, and he agreed that would be preferable than getting kneed in the nuts. But he suggested that if she really wants to show interest, she should just rub her ass on his nuts. And that visual cracked me up for about ten minutes. I think it was the white shorts. Anyway, Cameran interviews that it's her way of flirting, and that she knows that it's childish.
Inside the hookah bar, the roommates all smoke flavored tobacco out of a hookah. Brad interviews that there was "light flirting" between himself and Cameran. Cameran interviews that Brad was sitting close to her and being touchy-feely, which she found surprising. Cameran and Brad decide that they both need to go to the unisex bathroom. Cameran goes in first and invites Brad to join her. Jacquese interviews that when a girl invites you into the bathroom, sex is going to happen, and you should get your "magic stick" out. Well I don't know about sex, but clearly it's an invitation of some sort. Cameran says that she has to pee, and Brad says he's going to go in the garbage can then. This must get them both hot, because then Brad tries to kiss her. Cameran is shocked and stunned, and screeches at Brad to get away from her. Cameran interviews that Brad pulled her close and tried to kiss her. I think her indignation is a little over-the-top. Given the flirting that has gone on, and the signals that she's been giving him, she had to have known that he was going to try something. Maybe it's just more of her "come here, go away, come here, knee to the nuts" style of flirting, but it would get really tiresome.
Brad says he thought it was an open invitation, and Cameran laughs that it wasn't. Brad interviews that you shouldn't pull a guy into the bathroom if you don't mean to follow through, and that Cameran is giving him mixed signals. Agreed. Cameran interviews that she told Brad she didn't want to be his sloppy seconds. Man, she is infuriating. He should stay far, far away from her. Brad interviews that he doesn't know what Cameran wants, and that she needs to figure out what she wants.
week: Robin hits Brad a few times. Everyone gets pissed at Robin because she thinks the rules don't apply to her and she can't control herself.