We open immediately following the events of the episode (Robin and Brad's arrests, and the bail conversations). Jacquese tries to wake up Frankie, who has passed out on the giant beanbag. Cameran interviews that she never dreamed that two of her roommates would get arrested on the same night. Jacquese and Jamie discuss how they need to bail Robin out. Jacquese says that if they don't, Robin will be in jail until September 5, and some helpful on-screen text informs us that September 5 is three days away. Thank you! Jacquese interviews that Robin's bail is $8,000, which they don't have, but that they can go to a bail bondsman and put up 10% of the money. Jamie says that 10% of the bail would be $800. Jacquese says that he's got $300. It's nice that he's willing to do that. Although he does get his money back, right? As long as Robin doesn't skip town or something? I wonder if bails are higher in San Diego because it's so close to the Mexican border, and thus easier to skip out on. I'm just thinking out loud here. Jamie says that she has some money, too.
Frankie calls Dave, her boyfriend; she clearly just woke up. Dave asks her what happened last night, and Frankie sighs that she doesn't know. Frankie interviews that she woke up on the "love sack," which I guess is what they call the giant beanbag, but I don't think I'd want to sleep or sit on something called "the love sack." Frankie adds that she doesn't know what happened, but that she subconsciously feels guilty, as we see flashback footage of Frankie rubbing up on Randy. Dave asks Frankie whether she got his page, and Frankie says she's not even sure where her purse is. Dave immediately asks if she hooked up with someone at the bar. Frankie says that she didn't, and that she wants to come home. I still say that these two should just break up. Dave clearly can't trust her, and she clearly wants to be free to fool around with other guys. What kind of relationship is that?
Jacquese tells Randy that Robin got arrested, and Randy blearily says that he doesn't remember that happening. Robin calls and tells Jacquese that if they don't come and get her, she'll have to stay in jail overnight. Jacquese asks what she did. Robin says that she pushed a Marine, and then suddenly got arrested. Jacquese tells Robin the amount of her bail, and says that they're going to go to a bail bondsman tomorrow. Robin can't believe they are going to wait overnight. Shut up, Robin. You should be glad they are even taking your calls. They don't know you! They don't have to help you. That's a lot of money for people who are mostly marginally employed college students. Jacquese interviews that he's trying to let Robin know that she's going to have to spend the night, so that she shouldn't drop the soap. I think that only works with guys, Jacquese. Robin starts crying, and Jacquese tells her to call her parents and have them call the jail and get a referral to a bail bondsman. Robin isn't capable of doing that, so Jacquese offers to do it. He is the best friend, ever. Can you imagine calling the parents of someone you barely know, to inform them that their daughter is in jail? I wouldn't want to call my best friend's parents and say that. While talking on the phone, Cameran has made a new sign that says, "Free Brad and Robin."
Jacquese calls Robin's dad. It's now 4:00 AM in San Diego, and 7:00 AM in Tampa, where Robin's dad lives. Jacquese calls and starts by saying it's an emergency, which would give any parent a heart attack. Jacquese explains that he's Robin's roommate, and Robin's dad thinks that his name is Josh, which cracked me up. Jacquese says that Robin is "incarcerated" and needs bail money. I think Jacquese was trying to imitate the jail information guy. Jacquese gives Robin's dad the details of the alleged crime and the phone number to call, and Robin's dad promises to take care of it. Jacquese hangs up and tells the roommates that Brad only has to stay in jail until he sobers up, but that Robin is another story. Cameran asks what time Brad went to jail, and Jacquese says it's been three hours, and that they just have to wait for Brad to call. Jamie thinks they should just stay in the phone room and wait. Randy sprawls out on the floor and says he's too drunk to drive anyway. Cameran says she'll get some blankets, as the roommates prepare to wait for Brad's call.
At the San Diego Central Jail, Brad walks through a doorway, accompanied by two deputies. They show him to the elevator, and one of them says that this is "a minor bump on the road." The phone rings at the house, and Randy answers, since he's apparently the only one actually sleeping in the phone room. I thought they were all going to! Lame. Brad says, "Dude, Randy. Let's party, dude." Nope, he's not killing brain cells with alcohol. Randy tells Brad, "Robin too. She got picked up, man. A battery, man." He sounds oddly like Ringo Starr. Brad says that jail sucks. Isn't that kind of the point? If it were fun, people wouldn't mind going, and thus would commit crimes at random. Or more at random. I know that watching Oz convinced me never to commit any crime that would involve going to prison. Brad interviews that it was "a sheisty situation," but that he figured that he got himself into the situation, so he should deal with it. Brad tells Randy that there were no charges filed against him. Randy says that Robin isn't so lucky. Brad says he's going to walk or take a cab home, and they hang up. Brad starts walking, but then decides to hail a cab. He sits in the back of the cab with his giant bottle of water, looking fairly bedraggled. As you do, after a night in jail.
The phone rings again, and Randy answers. It's Robin, and she orders him to come to the prison and pick her up right now. She's awfully bossy for someone who's asking a favor. Randy asks for the address, so that they can take a cab. I guess he feels that he's too drunk to drive, and I applaud that he's aware of that fact, but I would totally wake up a roommate to drive me out there. Robin interviews that she's "blown away" that Randy waited by the phone and couldn't sleep until he knew she was home safe. Well, he did sleep. Just not in his bed. And he was waiting for Brad's call too. I'm just saying that I don't think Robin should read too much into the gesture.
Brad continues riding in a cab. He is glad he didn't try to walk home, because it's really far. Randy hails a cab. Brad spots him and tells his cab to pull over. Brad pays the fare and then goes and talks to Randy. I'm not sure what the big rush was about, because all they do is say "dude" and "bro" and "man" and "seriously" and "dawg" and then Brad says he needs to go home and shower and Randy takes off in his cab.
Brad walks into the house. Everyone is sleeping. Brad walks right into the shower and avails himself of the facilities. He walks into Jamie and Cameran's room and starts babbling about how nasty the jail cells were. Dude, they were sleeping. Brad is disgusted at how scummy the jail cell was. Again, I don't think they're going to be hiring decorators soon to make the experience a pleasant one. Brad brags about how rowdy he was in the cell, and I'm not sure he should be proud of that. Cameran asks if that was Brad's first time in jail, and Brad says that it wasn't. Cameran asks how many times he's been in there, and Brad asks, "Jail or holding cells?" Everyone giggles, and Brad vows to stay home for the rest of their tenure in the house. Yeah, that'll last.
Brad and Jacquese can't believe Randy got in a cab to go get Robin. They laugh and laugh. Jacquese interviews that nothing would make him ride twenty-five miles each way to pick someone up, because Robin could've just taken a cab by herself. Jacquese thinks Randy had better get some ass for this one. Normally I would be all disgusted by that remark, but Jacquese? Word. That's horseshit.
Robin stands outside the jail and calls her father from the pay phone. She promises to pay her father back, and says she's worried about hurting her mom. She cries some more into the phone, and I can't believe she has any tears left. Robin interviews that her dad is a great father, and that he will always be there. Robin hangs up and starts making another call. Randy walks up behind her and taps her on the shoulder. Robin is scared for a second, and then gives Randy a huge hug. She keeps thanking him for coming to get her. Robin tells Randy that it was horrible, and that she has a court date. Randy can't believe the guy pressed charges. Robin says that there were people in jail with DUIs who got off easier than she did, and that she knows what she did was wrong, but that the punishment seems harsh. Randy interviews that Robin is a loving, positive person, but that she sometimes loses herself in the moment. Robin lies down and puts her head in Randy's lap.
Frankie is on the phone with Dave again. She insists that she doesn't remember anything after she walked into the club and lost Robin. Dave asks if she remembers making out with somebody, and then says he feels good about being faithful to her, and that he's only asking her to do the same. Break up with her! God, the drama. Frankie interviews that she's trying to figure out what happened last night, and that she has no idea. Frankie tells Dave to do what makes him happy, even if it makes her sad. She asks if he's going to leave her, and Dave says that if she cheated on him, they will break up. Did I miss the part where Frankie said they were engaged, because the camera keeps focusing in on a ring on Frankie's left hand. Oh, and also, they should break up.
And now it's time for the Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week. The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was a movie called Cover Story. It starred Elizabeth "Jessie Spano" Berkley as a magazine editor. Go ahead and laugh. I did. Anyway, Jessie Spano is the editor of some magazine that I guess was supposed to be like Vanity Fair, in that it covered celebrities and scandal, but wasn't a tabloid. Their newsstands sales were down, so they needed a big cover story -- hencethe title of the movie. I also learned what a magazine editor does. She circles some things with a red marker, and then crosses out others. She stands in front of a bunch of cover mock-ups and talks to her staff. And she wears really slutty clothes, but offsets the skank factor by wearing glasses. All of this is done in a montage fashion. Anyway, the actual plot was confusing, but it involved an anonymous informant sending journal pages to the magazine that implicated some sort of crime and a love affair or something. And Jessie Spano figured out that it involved Jason "Brandon Walsh" Priestley and his brother, who were financing a new dam with their mob connections. Like, who pitched this movie, and then got to that part of the plot, without making anyone laugh? A dam? Financed by the mob? And this is the heart of the movie? So Jessie wants an interview with Brandon, but he's a recluse, so she works on his brother. And she goes back to Brandon and his brother's house (they live together?), and the brother starts hitting on her, and Jessie flirts back, and then he tells her that they are going to make love together, and instead of bursting out laughing, she gets pissed off and clocks him with a statue of Don Quixote (could I make that up?), and he ends up dead. So in most movies, the trial would be the rest of the film, but this one went on and on and it was totally unclear why Jessie would be acquitted of the murder charges, and why she would then start an affair with Brandon, and why her gay sidekick kept letting you know he was gay in every scene by talking about how he doesn't like women and he loves fashion. And then somehow Costas Mandylor got involved, and he was a cop and also Jessie's ex-boyfriend. And then just about everyone died, including Brandon Walsh, and Jessie quit the magazine and her sidekick got the editor position, and Jessie and Costas Mandylor ran off together and lived happily ever after. And I'm still not quite sure how we got from point A to point B, but it was awesome.
Frankie and Dave are still on the phone. Dave says that if she's done things she's not proud of, she might as well keep on doing them. Frankie angrily says that she got drunk and blacked out. Dave says she'll use the same excuse time, because it's an easy one. Yeah, that excuse really only works once, and Frankie already used it. After that, you either have to control your drinking, or accept responsibility for things that happen while you're drunk. Frankie interviews that she doesn't know her limits with alcohol, and that she does things that are out of character when she drinks. So don't drink, Frankie. Problem solved! Frankie tells Dave that she's afraid of losing him. Dave thinks they should split for a while, and Frankie agrees, if that's what he wants. She's so passive-aggressive. Dave says it's what they need, and hangs up the phone.
Frankie walks down the stairs and looks to see where her roommates are. She's totally fine at this point, but two seconds later, she stumbles into the kitchen, sobbing. She crawls into bed with Brad and asks him to hug her. Oh, for crying out loud. Brad asks what's wrong, and Frankie says that she doesn't want to talk; she wants someone to hold her. That is the oldest trick in the book. Frankie is doing all of the fake crying tricks, including covering her face with her hands so that you can't tell that no actual tears are coming out. Brad interviews that he doesn't understand Frankie at all, and that she makes no sense. Jamie is totally unmoved, and asks Frankie what's wrong. Brad doesn't think it could be that bad. Frankie dramatically says, "It is that bad!" and runs outside. Jamie just keeps eating her taco salad. Brad thinks "this might be a girl thing." Jamie sighs, because now she has to pretend to care about Frankie's stupid problems. I feel you, Jamie.
Out on the deck, Jamie asks Frankie what's wrong. Frankie had better look out! What if a big boat comes by? Inside, Brad tells Cameran that Frankie just started crying and ran out, and that he's not good with that stuff. Cameran runs outside to comfort Frankie some more. Frankie cries, "Boo hoo boo hoo!" Seriously. Fakest cry ever. I don't doubt that she's upset, but I think she's putting on this big act to get attention. Cameran tells Frankie that no man is worth her tears, and while I understand the sentiment, I don't think that's necessarily true. Frankie says that Dave broke up with her. Jacquese and Brad come outside. Hee! Brad looks like he would rather be back in the holding cell than having to deal with Frankie's problems. Frankie refuses to give up any information, and just continues to cry. She finally just says that she wants to go home.
Inside, Brad wonders how you live like that, and adds that some part of Frankie enjoys the drama. Ding ding ding! Give the man a prize. Cameran says that she would never cry over a man like that. Brad does a dive back onto his bed, laughing. I don't want to like Brad, but sometimes he cracks me up.
Cameran asks Frankie why she's scared that Dave will leave her. Cameran interviews that the whole relationship is filled with drama. Frankie tells Cameran what she told Dave, about the blacking out. Cameran says that Dave knows Frankie didn't cheat on him. Cameran asks if Frankie would leave Dave if he cheated on her. Frankie shakes her head no. Cameran is disgusted. She says that Dave is a boy, and Frankie is a beautiful girl. Cameran thinks Frankie needs more self-confidence. Frankie says that Dave doesn't have any either. Wow, I never would have guessed that, based on his paranoid jealousy. Cameran says that Frankie clings to a guy because he makes her feel good, but that she needs to feel good about herself. Cameran interviews that Frankie is "a lost soul," and that she needs to be happy with herself before other people can make her happy. Cameran has watched a little too much Oprah.
Frankie runs to the phone and dials it. Cameran yells at her not to call Dave, and adds that Frankie should wait for Dave to call her. Cameran is such a Rules girl. Not that I think that Frankie should call him, but I also don't think she should sit around waiting for Dave to call her. Cameran thinks the whole thing is a game, so she makes Frankie a sign that says: "Don't call Dave. He will make you cry and it's not worth it. Be strong." Frankie smirks because someone is paying attention to her, plus all of her roommates will see the sign and then know that she has something important going on in her life, and ask her about it, and she will be the center of attention, even though she didn't get arrested like everyone else. Or I might be throwing my own interpretation in there. Frankie giggles, and the tears are gone.
Speaking of attention whores, Robin and Randy are home. Robin says she hopes everyone is still sleeping so that she can get some peace and quiet before everyone starts yelling at her. To show how much privacy she wants, Robin walks in the door and yells, "Kids, I'm home!" Cameran gives Robin a big hug and asks what happened. Robin explains what she knows happened. Robin interviews that she does have unresolved anger, but that she doesn't know where it comes from. Robin tells her roommates that her dad is the coolest, because he helps her out without judgment. Brad says he's not telling his mom about this, because he's called her from jail before. Yeah, Brad! She'll never find out.
Robin feels bad that she might embarrass her mom. Frankie's standing there and notices that Brad and Robin are getting all the attention, so she totally pretends she's crying again. Robin starts crying for real, and everyone tries to comfort her. Jacquese says, "Being locked up is a part of...well, it ain't a part of life, but...." Everyone laughs. Jacquese asks if this is Robin's first time, and promises that the first time is the scariest. Brad promises that the time she goes will be funny. Everyone laughs. Jail time! Hilarious. Didn't these people have a job at one time? What happened to that?