Previously on The Real World: Adam "rapped" about his family pride and revealed that his father is a member of the Commodores. Mallory confronted Leah in a restaurant, and then Mallory tried to smooth things over later, but Leah couldn't understand why Mallory was so upset.
Eiffel Tower Shot Quarante-Neuf. Simon complains to Adam that CT was wrong. Simon interviews that they were taking a bunch of pictures (publicity shots?), and CT put him in a headlock. Simon says that it actually hurt. Adam agrees that CT was being aggressive, but adds that he thought Simon handled it okay. Simon says he thought Adam or Ace would have told CT to stop being such an idiot. Leah pipes up that she would have said something to CT if she had been there. Simon adds that Ace asked Simon if he was okay after it happened, but that Adam didn't even do that. I think Simon is being a little melodramatic. So CT put him in a headlock. Is it news that CT is kind of a jerk? It doesn't really matter, because the whole Simon thing is dropped shortly, and this just becomes a launching point for Leah, once again, to make it all about herself. Leah says that after Mallory confronted her in Switzerland, Adam and Ace both came up to her to make sure she was okay. Simon says that even though he and Christina were involved, Mallory was the only one talking. I'm not sure what that has to do with anything. Leah says that he could have said something to her at the table. Leah interviews that she has a hard time letting go of things. Oh, really? That's about as new as CT being a jerk.
Leah leaves, and Simon asks Mallory what's wrong. Mallory says she's "flipping ticked right now." Mallory interviews that she hoped Leah would get over it. Mallory tells Simon that Leah takes everything personally and never forgets anything, so Mallory is done trying to make up with her. Simon snuggles up to Mallory, who says that Leah was selfish for bringing her own issues into Simon's problem. Again, is it news that Leah is selfish? This late in the season, it just gets tiresome to see the same issues rehashed again and again. Christina says that Mallory's feelings are hurt.
Leah asks Mallory to talk about it, but Mallory doesn't want to. Leah says that Mallory obviously has a problem with her, but that Mallory chooses to talk about it with Simon and Christina, when it's Leah she has the problem with. I can't imagine why Mallory doesn't want to talk to Leah, when that's been so successful for her in the past. Mallory doesn't understand why Leah brought up the incident again, because it shows that she holds a grudge. Mallory voice-overs that she's losing hope of ever being friends with Leah. Leah asks herself if she wants to be friends with people who talk about her. Mallory says she didn't feel like anything got through to Leah. Leah bitches that she's not five, so Mallory shouldn't talk to her that way. I didn't think Mallory was being condescending, and frankly, Leah does act like she's five. Mallory says she just won't talk about it, then.
Leah talks to her friend Stephanie on the phone. Leah interviews that she's known Stephanie for fourteen years, and that they've always been close friends. Leah says that she's excited for Stephanie to come to Paris on Friday, and that there couldn't be a better time for Stephanie's visit.
At a bar, Ace (Hi, Ace!) flips through a jukebox and plays "Brick House." Adam starts grinning and rocking out to his father's song. You'd think he'd be kind of sick of it. Then again, that song probably paid his college tuition. The women sitting at Adam's table say that Adam's dad sings the song. Adam starts singing along. Ace says that the song is in every jukebox in the world. One of the girls asks what the song means. How dumb is she? Adam says that it's about a stacked woman, and starts singing lyrics from the song to demonstrate the meaning. Ace tells the girls that Adam's mom wrote the lyrics to the song, and that his dad wrote the music. Adam interviews that he remembers seeing his dad on stage when he was younger. One of the girls asks what instrument Adam's dad plays. Adam says his father played the trumpet on the introduction to the song. Adam thinks it's cool that his parents' song is in a jukebox in France. That is pretty cool.
Adam talks to his sister on the phone. She says that their father is doing what he always threatened to do. Adam realizes that his father moved out. His sister says he got an apartment and didn't tell anyone he was moving out, and that their mother only found out when she got the bill for the utilities on the new place. Didn't anyone notice that he was...you know, not living there? Adam's sister says she doesn't mind that her father left, and that she honestly doesn't give two shits about him. Why do we always say that we "don't give two shits" about something when we don't care? Why not one shit? Or three shits? Just wondering. Adam voice-overs that his parents have had troubles for twenty years. Adam asks if his father is really gone. His sister says he is. Adam asks if their parents are getting divorced. His sister says that, right now, their father just moved out, and that she doesn't know what will happen. Adam says he'll call his mom tomorrow. It's also kind of shitty that neither Adam's mother nor his father called him to tell him this news personally. In a confessional, Adam says that his father moved out, and then sits there for a while. He adds that he's kind of numb, and then says he can't even think. He seems very upset, and then he gets up and walks out.
Leah greets her friend Stephanie at the train station. Leah says that everyone in the house hates that Leah is loud. Stephanie is upset that she can't stay longer. Leah introduces Stephanie to everyone. Leah interviews that she and Stephanie take great care of each other. Stephanie shows Leah photos of her dog. Stephanie pulls out a letter and hands it to Leah, and says that it's from her mother. Leah reads it and looks confused. Leah interviews that she doesn't know what to think about the letter, and adds that there is also a letter from her doctor. Leah interviews, "Before moving to Paris, I had a checkup that I have annually." What? Why not just say that she got her annual Pap smear? Every woman does it (or should). How can someone be so loud and obnoxious about some things and then so coy about her reproductive health? Anyway, Leah adds that there is an indication that there might be pre-cancerous cells, and that the thought of cancer is frightening. I think that is really common, but that doesn't make it any less scary. Leah cries, and Stephanie hugs her. That was a shitty way for Leah to find out. Her mom couldn't tell her on the phone so that she could answer any questions Leah had about it? Or her doctor couldn't tell her on the phone? Why was it done in a letter? Did they give Leah any information about what she should do ? So many questions.
Adam calls his mom. She says that her husband's moving out was "a complete surprise," and that she was crushed. In a confessional, Adam says that his parents have been having problems for a while. Adam's mom says that she wouldn't have told Adam about it. Adam says he's kind of upset about that. She says that it just happened. Adam interviews that he loves and respects his mom, but that she's got a lot of baggage. Adam's mom says she wants to feel that she did the right thing. Adam assures her that she did, because he had a good childhood, and his mom was there for him and his sister. He says that his dad spent his life performing, and his mother spent her life with her kids, and that her kids will always be there for her.
Leah and Stephanie walk around Paris together. Leah interviews that it's a lot of fun to be in Paris with your best friend. Suddenly, it's time for Stephanie to leave. Man, that was a short visit. Leah and Stephanie say goodbye, and Stephanie leaves. In a confessional, Leah says that after Stephanie left, she was left alone with the letter from her doctor, and she was scared.
The roommates have dinner with David, the freelance writer guy for Frommer's. Leah toasts to David and his hospitality. Leah interviews that she realizes she needs "emotional care," and that Christina has been really understanding. Leah tells Christina about the letter she got from home, and says that her tests "showed signs of cancer." Well, that's not exactly true. It showed cells that could potentially develop into cancer, which is certainly scary, but leave it to Leah to be all dramatic about it instead of, you know, going to a doctor for another Pap smear. Since she can't even say the phrase "Pap smear," that shouldn't surprise me. Leah says she may have cervical cancer. Christina starts crying. Christina interviews that she doesn't know what to say or do, but that she's really upset for Leah. Christina asks why Leah didn't tell her earlier. Leah says she was still processing it, and that she thinks it's an error. Oh, that's a good response. "Well, I think the test was wrong, so I'm just going to ignore it instead of getting it checked out further." Leah says she needs to examine the possibility that she may have cancer. It's called WebMD, Leah. Look it up.
The roommates walk home from dinner. In a confessional, Leah says that she needs to figure out what's happening and sort through her own feelings before she talks about it or acts on it. The roommates go inside. Simon hears Leah crying outside and tells Christina and Mallory. Christina goes out to see what's going on, and tells the others to stay inside. Simon points to where Leah is crying behind some bushes. I know it's sad and all, but it really cracked me up that Leah was hiding in the bushes. Mallory interviews that she knows Leah is upset, but that she doesn't know why. Leah interviews that it's really important to her to be able to have children. Oh, for Christ's sake. Isn't that putting the cart before the horse? She doesn't even know for sure that anything is wrong with her, and even if there is, she doesn't know how it will affect her reproductive health. She is such a drama queen. I have no patience for people who get all weepy about things that might happen. Do what you can to ensure that bad things don't happen, and deal with them when and if they do happen. Christina leads Leah over to a cherry tree that is in full blossom. Christina leaps up and grabs a branch and shakes it so that the petals fall all over Leah like snowflakes. It's very pretty. Christina is a good friend.
The roommates prepare for bed. Simon interviews that he knows something is going on with Leah, but that he doesn't know what. Simon asks Christina if she's allowed to tell them what's going on. Christina says she promised not to say anything. Mallory interviews that it's difficult when you want to help someone, but you can't. Simon says that he wants to understand Leah. Simon interviews that he doesn't understand Leah half the time. God, join the club. Christina says that she can only tell Simon that it's a big deal.
And now it's time for the Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week. The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week wasn't all that awesome, but it was sort of awesome, and I didn't see anything else, so it'll have to do. I watched the premiere of Average Joe and I did enjoy all the dorky-looking guys trying to pretend the only reason they didn't have wives was because women are shallow, when in fact, a lot of them were just kind of annoying. There were some decent guys in there, too. But the awesome part was when the bachelorette was about to meet her suitors, and she was clearly expecting a bunch of model types. So they had a stretch limo pull up and this hunk got out and the woman was all excited to meet him and he walked up and was like, "Hi! Nice to meet you. But I'm not one of the eligible bachelors." And then he just got back in the limo and drove away. Awesome! And the woman was like, "Wait! Can't you stay?" And then a bus drove up and the nerds piled out and her facial expressions were hilarious. I have to wonder what the producers said to her after that to get her to stay. And then another kind of awesome part was that there is one guy who is more traditionally good-looking, so he's an asshole, and he just thinks he's the greatest thing and I hope the woman eliminates him this week. That will be awesome. Also? His name is Zach. Perfect. And then there's the college professor who is so pretentious and obnoxious and thinks he's so smart. I know I'm supposed to root for the nerds, but that guy's just a douche. He even dressed like a douche. He wore a long coat, and he's about five feet tall and he just couldn't pull it off. So while it was not the most awesome thing I've ever seen, it was pretty awesome.
Mallory and Adam take the subway. Mallory says that she wants to leave Paris knowing that she had people who were "on the same boat." Huh? Adam interviews that Mallory is really understanding, and that he loves hearing her voice. Remember when Adam was in love with Mallory? That seems so long ago. Adam reveals that his father left his mother. Mallory interviews that Adam is going through some pain. Adam says that his family was always tight-knit, so this is really weird. So he wrote a song about it. Oh, please don't sing it on camera. Please. Adam says that writing the song helped him out. Adam interviews that once he put his feelings on paper, he stopped feeling bad, and it gave him a record of his feelings to show someone else later.
Back at the house, Adam takes Mallory out back and sings the song for her. The first part is a total ripoff of that song that goes, "First step, ask her out and treat her like a lady. Second step, tell her she's the one you're dreaming of. Third step, take her in your arms and never let her go." And then he starts rapping about his family. Poor Mallory. She has to stand there and avoid cracking up. In a confessional, Adam says that even though his father may have been a bad husband, he was a good father.
Adam calls his dad to see how he's doing. Adam's dad says that he's sorry about the way things happened, but that it had just reached a point. Adam interviews that he can't turn his back on his father. Adam says that he just wanted to hear his father's voice, and says that he loves his father. Adam's father says that he really needed that, because he's going through a tough time. Adam interviews that it's a new phase of their lives.
Mallory and Christina ride scooters to the train station. Mallory says that she wrote a note to Leah and said she was sorry, and that she thinks Leah is a good person. Christina asks how long it was. Mallory says it was short, but that she just doesn't want Leah to be upset. Mallory kind of implies that Leah was crying about her. Christina interviews that Mallory wants a friendship with Leah again.
Christina and Leah stand in the kitchen. Christina says that they have a lot in common, but that they are also different. Man, the things Christina comes up with. Leah says that she is easily affected by other people. Christina interviews that Leah is working on forgiveness, but that she has to do it for herself, and not because Mallory is pushing her to do it. Leah says that Mallory thinks Leah doesn't let go of things, but that Mallory wouldn't care about Leah's state of mind if she had let go of things, too. Nothing like turning it around and blaming someone else, Ms. Personal Responsibility. Christina says that Mallory wants a friendship, and adds that she's glad she's twenty-four and came to Paris knowing who she is, because Mallory is still growing. Wow, she's pretty tall already. How much bigger will she get? Leah interviews that she forgets that Mallory is nineteen, and that it's her first time away from home. What about college? Leah thinks she can't ask certain things of Mallory because she's so young.
Mallory and Leah go to a restaurant for Making-Up Session #847. Leah says that she lets her emotions take over. Leah interviews that she's finally realizing why she was so mad at Mallory. Leah says that she was a very angry child because she had no father in the picture; a stepfather; and a mother who always took her stepfather's side. Leah thinks that's why she feels so rejected when no one takes her side. Leah interviews that she's spent a lot of time not letting go. Leah says that the most important part of living together is making yourself vulnerable. Mallory agrees that she's struggled with that. Mallory interviews that by talking, she and Leah got closer, to the point where Leah could open up to her. Leah says that being in Paris has taught her a lot about life, such as learning to forgive and let go. Yes, we've seen...well, no examples of that at all. Leah interviews that it's easier to live if you let things go. Which I said about fifteen recaps ago.
Leah and Mallory walk home arm in arm. Leah interviews that it's nice to be with Mallory again. Mallory interviews that Leah has learned how to let go, which is something she needed to learn. Mallory and Leah have a chat in the confessional. Mallory talks about how useless it is to be bitter and upset. Leah says that it was just wasted time, and that they couldn't take being away from each other anymore. Leah says that getting that letter was really scary, and Mallory agrees. Leah says that it was okay while Stephanie was there, but when she left, Leah got mad at Mallory for not knowing that something was wrong. Mallory says that she felt that Leah was angry, but that she didn't know why, and that she wanted to be there for Leah. In a confessional, Leah says that she wanted Mallory to be there, but that she was scared to say what was wrong out loud; she adds that, now that she has, she feels a lot better. Leah thanks God that she lives with people who can teach her things. Yeah, it's amazing what can happen when you actually talk to other people and listen to what they have to say instead of shouting over them all the time. Mallory says that the gifts of being there are the friendships and the people.
time: Adam hooks up with a lady who doesn't speak English very well. And then one of his friends from home comes to visit. There's a lot of Adam getting nookie week, so bring your barf bags. Shouldn't they start packing soon?