Called Out

Previously on The Real World: The roommates got to know each other in their hot tub. Chris announced that he is a recovering alcoholic. Kyle told Keri that he couldn't give her what she needs. What she needs is a wake-up call. And what he needs is a swift kick in the ass.

We open with more footage of "The Cough." That's the stupid skit they did about the abusive stepfather. In an interview, Tonya says that Kyle is "a phenomenal actor," but that she doesn't feel she knows him well enough to know if he's acting or just angry. Kyle's little brother, Austin, watches in the audience. On stage, Kyle tries to smother Chris with a pillow. Again, I wonder if this is appropriate for children, really. Also, to answer Tonya's question earlier, I think Kyle is more angry than acting. He's really scaring me. In a confessional, Kyle says that he loves acting and being in the limelight. The skit ends, and the audience claps. Backstage, Kyle says that he saw his brother sitting in the front row, made eye contact, and started laughing. Yeah, he should definitely be a professional actor.

Kyle and Austin walk home. Austin rips on the skit, and how not scary it was. Heh. Go, Austin! Poor kid. How many Austin Powers jokes do you think he hears each day? In an interview, Kyle says that he and Austin have "this really beautiful older brother/younger brother relationship." What other kind of relationship would they have? Scratch that. I don't want to know the answer to that question. Austin continues to rip on Kyle and the skit. In an interview, Kyle says that it's great to vicariously relive his childhood through his brother. So, in other words, he really only likes his brother because he gets to relive his childhood, and not because his brother is a great kid or whatever. Nice. Leave it to Kyle always to bring it back to his favorite topic: himself.

Kyle and Austin play pool. Austin is still ripping on the skit. Heh. Austin wants to play pool without using a cue, so Kyle tries to teach him how to use one. Keri watches from the doorway. Kyle uses the word "axis" to explain how to use it. Yeah, I'm sure that Austin -- who appears to be about eleven years old -- is going to understand the axis. Kyle says that it's a really easy shot. Austin totally biffs it because Kyle gave him no explanation as to where or how hard to hit the cue ball. Kyle tries to pass it off, saying that it was a hard shot, but Austin reminds him that he just said it was easy. Heh. I like that Austin is the only person we've seen so far who calls Kyle on his crap. In an interview, Keri says that Kyle wants to be a perfect person for everyone, and she thinks it makes him look like an ass. True that.

Chris works out on the treadmill at the gym. In an interview, Chris says that he needs three things to stay sober: staying spiritual; having friends and support in AA; and taking care of his body. At lunch, Keri, CJP, Aneesa, Tonya, and some other random girl discuss Chris's obsession with his body. Tonya says that Chris is just going to be a face model because his body doesn't have any muscle, so he needs to stop flexing and give it up. Wow. She's harsh. Aneesa says that Chris used to be fat, and also that he needs to find something to take up the time he used to spend drinking. That's true. One guy I know who's in AA now spends all of his spare time fishing and playing cards. Like, he goes fishing every day. Which would drive me to drink, but to each his own. CJP agrees with Aneesa. In an interview, CJP says that she thinks that Chris has "an obsessive-compulsive quality to his working out." You can totally tell CJP didn't want to say that, and that the interviewer pulled it out of her. Keri suggests that Chris has replaced one addiction with another. We see various shots of Chris working out at the gym.

Chris and Kyle walk down the street. Kyle asks Chris whether he's happy with the way he's used his time in Chicago. Chris says that he is, and asks Kyle the same question. Kyle says that he's not sure. In a confessional, Kyle says that he had "a vision of how [he] wanted to be, how [he] wanted to act, and just how [he] wanted to conduct [himself] while [he's] there, and it bothers [him]." Chris tells Kyle not to worry about it, and Kyle says he's not that worried. Chris and Kyle arrive at their destination, which is an appointment Chris has made regarding a fashion show where he will be a model. In an interview, Kyle claims that he just tagged along. The fashion show coordinator, Lema, says that she wants Chris to be in the show, and that he needs to come to a practice. Chris mentions that he thinks Kyle should be in the show, too. Lema asks Kyle if he's ever done any modeling. Kyle says that he hasn't. Chris urges Kyle to model, and Kyle says that he doesn't think he will. In an interview, Chris says that he's modeled before, and that he would love to have Kyle experience it. As they leave, Kyle says to Chris, "I want to make sure that, like, I don't want to hurt your feelings when I say this, but I'm just worried that, like, it'll make me look...gay." Oh, for crying out loud. Either do it or don't do it, but that's the gayest reason I've ever heard. Kidding. I thought earlier in the season, Kyle said he was cool with the gays. What a poser. He only said that so he would look like Mr. Sensitive. And yet sadly, this is probably the most honest thing Kyle has said all season. In an interview, Chris says that he thinks this is absurd and out-of-character for Kyle, and he's just insecure. Actually, I think it's totally in character for Kyle, but Chris wouldn't know that, since he's never seen Kyle be real. Kyle says Chris knows that he's "not like that," but he's just concerned.

Kyle discusses his dilemma with CJP. She asks him what his gut feeling is on the situation. He says that it would be a fun experience. She asks whether he's told Nicole about it yet, and he says that he hasn't talked to her yet. Tonya walks in and says that Nicole is going to think he's a fucking fruit. Heh. Annoying as Tonya is, at least she's honest in her assessments of others. That may be the only time she's honest, but it's something. In an interview, Kyle says that the only thing that would convince him to do the fashion show would be the fact that it's for charity. Groan. Barf. CJP tells Kyle that he's doing it for the kids. Ugh. In an interview, Kyle says that he was initially uncomfortable with modeling because he was "overwhelmed with homosexuality," but he's not homophobic. Yeah, just like Tonya was overwhelmed by having a black roommate, but she's not racist. Kyle muses that he's going to be walking down the runway with "Toph." CJP asks if that means he's definitely doing it, and Kyle says that he is. Oh, twist his arm.

Keri talks to Lara, their boss at the park, on the phone. In an interview, Keri explains that she has to go down to the office to drop off their timesheets. Lara explains that she needs the timesheets, or the roommates won't get paid. In an interview, Keri explains that she had been down to the offices earlier in the week, and that there was no parking nearby. Lara tells Keri not to just leave her car out front, because people have gotten $150 tickets. Keri says that she'll just have Kyle go with her and sit in the car. Lara tells Keri to tell Kyle that Lara told him to do it.

Keri goes into the bathroom where Kyle is primping for, like, the fiftieth time this episode. She announces that someone needs to go with her downtown to drop off the timesheets for work. Kyle asks why she needs someone to sit in the car. Keri explains about not leaving the car out front. Kyle insists that there are parking spots around there. He's really defensive about it, like he can't spare one second away from putting water in his hair or whatever he's doing. He refuses to go. Keri snaps and says that no one will get paid, and she tosses the car keys on the floor and walks out. Kyle snarks at her as Theo walks in and says that he'll go. Keri tells him that she appreciates his sense of responsibility. Kyle continues to primp. Keri thanks Kyle for being an asshole. Kyle says that Keri needs a partner to hold her hand while she goes. Keri loses it and yells that Kyle doesn't understand common sense, and that she doesn't want to get a $150 ticket. In an interview, Kyle says that, a few months ago, whenever he was going somewhere, Keri wanted to go with him, and he's flashing back to that now. Keri tells Kyle that he's the biggest asshole she's ever met. Well, the biggest something. It got bleeped, and I'm just assuming. Kyle says that he finds Keri's claim hard to believe, like, shut up, Kyle. Keri tells Kyle that he's perfect -- him and his political career that he's planning while he's there. Kyle says, all pissy, "What?" In an interview, Keri says that she holds her tongue around Kyle more than she does with any of the other roommates, to protect the way that he's going to look. Kyle points at Keri and yells, "Never touch that topic again." Hmm, a little defensive? Must be true. Keri goes, "Ooh, is that a threat?" Kyle tells her that it is, and repeats a few times that she shouldn't ever touch the topic again. Keri walks out goofing, "Ooh, Kyle's heated!" Kyle yells at her for walking away and not sticking to the argument. Well, he just told her not to touch the topic, so how can she stay and argue about it? He's really mad, too. Keri says, "I'm going to work. I'm doing something responsible, instead of just staying home and bitching and playing around and fixing your hair and playing with your balls like you do all day long." Okay, that was hilarious. Immature, but hilarious. I think Keri and Austin should team up and just rip on Kyle.

Keri and Theo return to the loft. Kyle asks Keri if they can talk for a sec. Keri asks why, and Kyle says he has a few things to say. Keri tells him to go ahead, but she doesn't look like she's at all interested. Kyle says that he was being immature, and he apologizes. It's the most insincere apology ever, and he's clearly just doing it so that it'll look good on camera. Keri says in a monotone that she apologizes for bringing up stuff about him, so she clearly isn't sorry, either. Kyle asks if they are really apologizing, or if things are going to be weird. Keri says that she'll get over it in a while.

CJP, Tonya, and Keri get in the van. Tonya complains that Kyle is really stressed out about his image, and that it makes her want to puke. CJP jokes that Kyle is running for office, as Keri pointed out. In an interview, Tonya says that she doesn't like when people are acting. Tonya. Just said that. Tonya. Ha ha ha! Tonya grouches that Kyle sucks. Keri says that Kyle is just nervous about the way he's going to look. Why is she defending him? Don't defend him, Keri! In an interview, Keri says she thinks that if Kyle doesn't live up to the image his friends and family have of him, he'll be lost. Tonya says that Kyle only had his brother come to stay so that his "brotherly side" would be on camera. Keri agrees. CJP can't believe it. Keri says that she stopped protecting him a while ago because it got old. Tonya says that everything is about Kyle's image and adds, "Who gives a rat's ass about your image? Be who you are." Says the girl with dyed hair and fake boobs who lies all the time. Sweet.

Kyle and Chris rehearse their modeling at the House of Blues. In an interview, Kyle explains that the show is the day, and they are just now learning the basics of what they should do. Chris practices his runway walk. In an interview, Chris says that this is his first time doing a show where he is sober, and it's fun. Lema gives some instruction to Kyle on how to walk. In an interview, Kyle says that they want him to be "hot and sexy and elegant." And classy? Just checking. Kyle walks a ways, chomping his gum the whole time. Chewing gum is not classy. Also, Kyle kind of walks like Shaggy. Lema tells Kyle never to put his hands on his hips. In an interview, Kyle says that he feels ridiculous even though he's just doing what the other models are. Lema says that Chris will be in the first group, and they do a dry run of the show. Various models walk. Kyle has to walk up to this girl and brush by her and then she brushes by him. Lema says that she needs to feel more emotion. In an interview, Kyle says that modeling is kind of like acting, which is why he likes it. Kyle tries his walk again, and does better. I think Kyle is well suited for a role on Undressed. That's about the level of acting I think he can hope for.

Chris and Kyle walk home. Chris asks Kyle if he's excited. Kyle says that the rehearsal was like a trial by fire, and he feels out of his element, but now he feels like he's figured it out. In an interview, Kyle says that he feels more comfortable with the show now, and that Chris's enthusiasm is contagious. Chris thinks that once the show starts, it will all fall into place.

Chris checks himself out in the bathroom mirror. In a confessional, Chris says that he's amazed at the progress he's made with his body. Chris walks back in forth in front of the mirror, lifts his shirt to check his abs, does a couple of dance moves, and takes off his shirt. Okay, so he's vain. But if I were going to be a model in a fashion show (ha!), I would probably check out how I would look, too. And who among us hasn't done a little dance in front of the mirror or tried to check out our own asses? Tonya complains on the phone that she's sick of watching Chris flex in the mirror, and that he's always calling her in to check out his muscles. In an interview, Chris says that he loves some parts of himself, and that he's really happy to be who he is. Tonya concludes that Chris is gay. Really? I did not know that. And she's a foster child? Interesting.

It's time for the fashion show. The other roommates are all there to lend support. In an interview, Kyle says that he's nervous, because he doesn't know what he's doing. Oh, my God. Kyle has so much makeup on, including ruby red lipstick and tons of blush. He looks like an old lady who can't see very well and just piles on the makeup. In an interview, Theo says that Chris has been so excited about the show, and that they aren't allowed to smile on stage, but he knows Chris is smiling inside. Kyle walks down the runway and his roommates cheer. In an interview, Theo says, "Kyle's never looked so gay to me, but he did a good job." I know I probably shouldn't have laughed at that, but I did. Out loud. In an interview, Keri laughs as she says that Kyle needs to take a lesson from Chris in learning how to work it. Chris walks down the runway again. In a confessional, CJP says that she's proud of both Chris and Kyle.

Afterward, the roommates congratulate Chris and Kyle. Theo makes fun of the looks Kyle had on his face. CJP is way too excited about the whole thing, with the kissing and hugging. In an interview, Aneesa says that Chris has worked very hard to get his life back on track, and that she's proud of him. Some random woman tells Chris that he was the hottest guy there.

The roommates go out to a bar and do some shots. Keri starts flirting with a guy. In an interview, Keri says that she's doing a good job meeting cute boys. In an interview, Kyle says that Keri is "jumping into the singles scene in the bar" and "it doesn't seem like the classiest thing in the world." Fuck Kyle. I hated him before, but now I really, really can't stand him. Keri asks Kyle if he's going to come outside with them, and he agrees. In a confessional, Kyle says that he made a comment to Keri about how she meets guys in bars and makes out with them. In an interview, Keri says Kyle insinuated that she was a slut for going out to bars and meeting people, and he said that he didn't know she was "like that." Keri sarcastically concludes, "Sorry, I didn't mean to be 'like that.'"

The Guitar of Impending Fight Fight Fight plays. Keri goes into Kyle's room and says that he made her feel like a piece of shit when he told her that he didn't know she was "like that." Kyle says that he's entitled to his opinion, and that he's sorry if his opinions conflict with things she's done. Keri asks why it's not okay for a woman to date, but it is okay for a man. Yeah, Kyle. Why is that? Did he tell Theo that he didn't know he was "like that" when Theo brought home all those women? In a confessional, Kyle says that he just has an opinion. Keri says that she's formed a lot of opinions about him, but that she hasn't said anything, and that she thinks he's the fakest person in the house. Kyle says that he doesn't care if she thinks that. Keri says that she has more to say, but won't. Kyle tells her to say them. Keri brings up how Austin only came to visit to make Kyle look good; she says she feels the same way about their trip to Lake Geneva. Kyle immediately sits up and gets a really scary look on his face as he orders Keri to get off his bed. He keeps repeating that she needs to get off his bed and leave. Keri tells him not to get rude, and Kyle says that she's talking about his family. Well, actually, she was talking about Kyle. She didn't say anything bad about his family at all. Keri tries to protest, but finally walks out. Kyle says that she's out of line.

Keri finds Chris in the bathroom. She whispers that she thinks Kyle does a lot for the cameras, so she asked him about it, and he went nuts. In a confessional, Keri cries as she says that she knows she shouldn't have brought up Kyle's family, but the point is that he's been fake since they've been there. Keri tells Chris that Kyle makes her mad, and she doesn't want to talk to him. Keri starts crying and runs into the toilet stall. Chris walks into Kyle's room and asks what happened. Kyle says that Keri was dissing his family and he yelled at her. In an interview, Kyle says that the last time he fought with Keri, he acted like an ass, so he immediately sought her out and apologized, but this time he has nothing to apologize for. Chris tries to make sure Keri is okay. In a confessional, Keri says that it makes her want to cry, and she feels like a wuss. Keri comes out of the stall. In an interview, Chris says that Keri has a tough time connecting with her feelings, and he knows it takes a lot for her to get that upset. Chris suggests that Keri talk to Kyle. Keri starts crying again as she says that she doesn't ever want to talk to Kyle again, because he made her feel more like shit than any other person ever has in her life. She concludes, "I don't care if he lives the rest of his life hating me, because I will live the rest of my life hating him so much because he has made me feel the way that he has." I think she's drunk. Cut to Kyle, peacefully sleeping in his bed.

week: season finale! Hooray!