Previously on The Real World: Theo loved working with kids. Keri told Kyle that she wasn't going to stand for his ridiculous behavior anymore, and a nation rejoiced at seeing a woman with a spine on television for once. Take that, Joey Potter!
They must have assigned that artsy editor to work on this episode, because the opening montages has a lot of fades in and out of each scene that are totally just there to occupy his reel and don't really tell us anything about the upcoming episode or the city of Chicago. Except that there is a shot of a mural that says "Learn." Wow. Good thing they painted that on a mural, or I would have never thought to learn anything in my day-to-day life. Hmm. I should put that on my to-do list. Finish recap. Vacuum. Learn. Sounds good to me. Theo arrives at work and helps the kids paint the mural. He works one-on-one with many of the kids. In an interview, Theo says that he's there to get to know the kids more than to make the mural. In contrast, Tonya keeps yelling at various kids. In an interview, Aneesa says that Tonya is like a drill sergeant and she yells all the time, and that Theo said he would hate Tonya if he were one of the kids. Tonya leaves work, and no one says goodbye to her. In an interview, Theo says that he takes the job seriously. Theo tells a boy named Nelson (who looks like Forest Whitaker circa Fast Times at Ridgemont High) that he had better come to the center on Tuesday. In an interview, Theo says that the lifeguards save lives when people are in danger, but in his job, you save lives because you love the kids and want to help them.
Keri rows a boat like Joey Potter, except that in this scenario, she finally grew some balls and rowed away from big-headed Dawson/Kyle. Artsy Editor throws in some stupid black-and-white shots of Keri and Kyle in happier times -- like last week. In an interview, Keri says that it will be a struggle for her and Kyle to be just friends, but it's what's going to happen. Keri and Kyle stand near the beach. Keri is crying, and Kyle is trying to comfort her. Keri says that she hates it in Chicago, and that there is nothing there for her. Kyle says that they need to broaden their horizons socially, but Keri doesn't want to. She continues crying, and Kyle rubs her back. She walks away, and Kyle fucking yawns. He seriously does not care one bit for her, except to look good on-camera. I'm convinced of it.
At the center, Lara, the manager, calls Theo out into the hall and asks him to talk to Nelson and find out if he really wants to be part of the program. I don't know why she needs to ask that, because they have not given us that information. Maybe Nelson doesn't show up very often. Maybe he goofs off a lot while he is there. Who knows? Oh, maybe it has something to do with the fact that Nelson appears to be drinking a bottle of beer. Maybe it's root beer. In an interview, Theo says that Nelson doesn't have anyone at home telling him what is right and wrong. I see. Like Theo has his dad to tell him that gay dudes are disgustin'. Theo calls Nelson outside and...well, we don't get to hear what they are saying. Instead, we hear some music on the soundtrack and see them sitting around in the grass. Theo advises Nelson to enjoy being fourteen and not to grow up too fast. He's fourteen! He looks about twenty. In an interview, Theo says that he wants Nelson to prove that he can make it to twenty-one, because "a lot of brothers don't." I really do admire Theo for being such a good role model to these kids and making a personal connection with each one. It almost makes me like him. Almost.
Aneesa and Theo discuss how Tonya relates to the kids. In an interview, Theo says that Tonya is scared to talk to the kids, and that he's heard a lot of complaints about her. Aneesa points out that, being a foster kid herself, Tonya should know what it is like to be a kid who needs a role model or a parental figure. They're assuming that Tonya can think about anyone but herself; from what we've seen, I don't think that's possible.
Kyle drives the van while Keri sits in the back seat. He asks her something about giving her a ride to the airport, and Keri says that she'd rather take a cab. In an interview, Keri explains that she's going home for a wedding, and that she's looking forward to seeing her friends. Kyle gives Keri a hug goodbye. More stupid flashbacks of their relationship that wasn't. In an interview, Kyle says that they need this break from each other to be more independent. In an interview, Keri says that Kyle said he's attracted to her, but that he has a girlfriend, and he won't do anything to hurt her. Except that he no longer has a girlfriend. Keri adds, "I deserve more, and I want more, and that's what I'm going to look for." I nearly just broke into a chorus of "I Will Survive." I'm just excited to see a woman on one of these shows who's not Amaya-type needy and willing to take whatever crap a guy dishes out. I just hope they don't get back together before the season is over. Keri hails a cab. In an interview, Keri says that Kyle might have a little piece of her heart, but that he doesn't have the whole thing.
More weird montage shots of the city. I like seeing Chicago and all, but I don't watch this show to see the city, really. I appreciate that they put in these filler shots to segue from one scene to the ; they've done that every season. But don't try to make them artsy or use them as a commentary on the action, because that's just lame. Theo is on the phone with his friend Karen, telling her about Nelson. He explains that Nelson's older brother came in and said that Nelson wasn't coming to the program any more because of Tonya, and that Nelson said that if Tonya continued to be rude to him, he would hit her. Tonya tells Aneesa that she's never done anything to Nelson. Aneesa explains that Nelson sees Tonya as the stern drill sergeant. Tonya says again that she'd only told him to "be nice to the other children." Just the way she says "children" grates on my nerves. Like they aren't human -- they're children. Aneesa says that they have to watch out for Nelson because his life is more dangerous than that of some of the other kids. Tonya says that she won't talk to Nelson at all, then. Well, that's mature. Instead of changing her behavior, she's just going to reject him entirely. Aneesa says that she doesn't want to lose Nelson. Tonya says that she understands, but she doesn't seem very understanding. In an interview, Theo says that Nelson doesn't really relate to Tonya since she's a white female and he's a black male. For the same reasons, Nelson does listen to Theo.
Theo goes to the airport. Is he picking up Keri? Oh, he's meeting his "brothers," who I assume are frat brothers. His brothers run around the airport with their shirts off, acting goofy. They are funny, but it's weird to think that type of behavior would so not be tolerated in an airport these days. Then again, Theo wouldn't be allowed to meet them at the gate now, either. In an interview, Theo says that he's excited to hang out with his brothers because he can be himself. Theo's friends are funny. I wish they had focused more on the friends. Tonya is on the phone, wearing only a towel, when they all arrive back at the loft. Why does Tonya always walk around wearing a towel? You know she's on the phone with Justin; she couldn't ask him to hold on for a second while she threw on some clothes? Anyway, one of Theo's friends hugs Tonya, and she appears supremely uncomfortable. But I blame her. I hope Theo told his friends how uncomfortable Tonya is around black guys, and that's why he hugged her. Tonya says on the phone, very disparagingly, "His brothers are here in town. His brothers from the 'hood." Ew. Shut up, Tonya. In a confessional, Theo expresses his joy at seeing his brothers. Got it.
Kyle does push-ups on the bedroom floor while CJP watches and giggles. She asks if he can do push-ups while she lies on his back. Kyle says that he would rather do sit-ups while she sits on his face. EEEEEEEWWWWW! What a tool. And of course, CJP giggles like it's the funniest thing she's ever heard. In an interview, CJP says that she feels chemistry with Kyle, and that if there were no Keri, she and Kyle might share "a drunken kiss," but that, as it is, they are just friends. Kyle says that he has sweatshirts that weigh more than CJP, which is sadly true. CJP lies on Kyle's back and says, "Whee!" while he does push-ups.
CJP and Kyle lie in bed and discuss the end of Kyle and Keri's relationship. These people act like Britney and Justin broke up with the endless analysis. CJP says that she heard that Keri gave Kyle an ultimatum. Kyle says that he would go along with whatever Keri wanted. He asks if CJP has noticed a big change. CJP says, "She is very ownership of you." That was very grammar of her. Kyle says that he wants to discuss his relationships with the other roommates, because they have all asked him what the deal is with Keri. CJP thinks that Keri would feel betrayed if CJP asked Kyle out to dinner. Way to hint around blatantly.
Theo and his brothers go out to a club, and we are treated to several minutes of them dancing with some ladies and getting phone numbers. In an interview, Theo says that he's himself around his brothers. Isn't that what he said, like, two minutes ago?
Kyle and CJP walk down the street. Kyle offers to give her a massage when they get home, and CJP says that it would be better than a first kiss. She's so obvious. They stop in at a bar. CJP asks Kyle if he flirts with girls at all when he goes out. Kyle says that he was never the type to pick up girls at bars or clubs. He so thinks that he's the mack daddy. Wow, I just used the most early '90s slang. Anyway. Kyle seems like the type who thinks that, because he doesn't use "pick-up lines" or try to get phone numbers, he's not a flirt. And yet he totally is. CJP non-sequiturs, "Because you're a Republican?" and they laugh. Then the music goes all twinkly and CJP leans forward to take a sip of her margarita and she looks exactly like Joe Camel. Now I see what the people on the forums were talking about. Here's another irritating thing about this episode: instead of just letting us see what happened, they keep showing us footage with no dialogue, and then give us a voice-over explaining what was said. I would rather watch the dialogue, thanks. It's called an unreliable narrator, and his name is Kyle. Anyway, Kyle says that CJP got quiet and then asked him why he picked Keri at first, and not her. Kyle says that surprised him. Of course, Kyle doesn't tell us what he said in response. Kyle asks CJP where they go from there, and CJP replies, "I'm not sure. I'm really not sure." For all we know, they were talking about what bar to go to .
Theo and his brothers are swimming in a rooftop pool somewhere. They all swim around in their underwear. There are many ladies present. I don't know what else to say about this scene. Oh, they have chicken fights.
The morning, Theo is still asleep in bed. Tonya is at the center, yelling at the kids some more. They totally don't listen to her. Tonya tries to call the loft and begs someone to pick up. CJP, Theo, and Aneesa are all still asleep. Tonya looks like she's about to cry. Why didn't she wake them up before she left? I mean, it's not her job or anything, but I would have at least checked in with them to see if they were going to bother going to work. CJP finally answers the phone. Theo checks his clock. CJP apologizes for being late and promises that they will be there soon. In an interview, Theo says that he was late because "the night before was off the hook."
Kyle goes to the airport to pick up Keri. In an interview, Kyle says that he's looking forward to seeing her. Keri steps off the airplane looking healthy and rested and happy. In an interview, Keri says that she misses New Orleans, but she's finished comparing Chicago to home. Take a lesson, Tonya. Kyle says that it wasn't as fun for him without Keri. In a confessional, Keri says that she's done bumming around. In an interview, Kyle says that Keri is his best friend in the house.
Back home, Kyle tells Keri about his alleged conversation with CJP about why he didn't hit on her first. Why would Kyle run and tell Keri that? He's totally trying to make her jealous. Keri asks if CJP has animosity toward her. Kyle thinks it's benign, but he thinks that CJP had been dying to talk to him about it. He really loves himself. Keri, to her credit, says that if she were in CJP's shoes, she probably would have felt the same way. She's totally calm about it. In an interview, Keri says that she can understand why CJP would be jealous of her relationship with Kyle, because CJP wants a relationship. You ain't kidding.
Tonya tells the kids that they're going to make her cry. Oh, never show weakness. The kids are all just joking around, and Tonya is completely humorless. They know she is scared, and they're taking advantage. I think she uses the whole drill-sergeant thing to try to cover up her fear, but it's not working. Lara, the director, shows up. Tonya complains that they don't have a back-up plan, and that the kids are bored. In an interview, Tonya admits that she is controlling, but says that if it weren't for her, "this whole project would be hitting a wall." I have yet to see Tonya pick up a paintbrush. She's generally either yelling at someone or sitting against the wall, moaning about her kidneys. Tonya complains some more to Lara, who doesn't say anything. The other roommates show up. Theo and CJP apologize to the kids. Lara tells Theo that they had no idea where they were. Well, that's not true. Tonya knew that they were home, or else why would she have called there? Lara tells Theo that if it happens again, he will be written up. Oh, no! Not written up! Theo apologizes. Outside, some of the kids tell Theo that they were mad at him for being late. They tease him about it. In an interview, Theo says that he didn't realize how concerned the kids would be. Lara tells Theo that the kids got there early to hang out with him. In an interview, Theo says that he has a responsibility to the kids. He's not looking to be their father, but he wants to be there if they have questions or need to talk about something. Aw. Theo.
Nelson shows up, and Theo takes him aside to talk. Theo explains that Nelson's brother said that Nelson claimed he would hit Tonya. They go to talk to Nelson's brother, because Nelson denies that he said it. They argue about who said what for a while. In an interview, Theo says that it was a misunderstanding, and that he's going to clear it up with Tonya so that she's not scared and Nelson doesn't feel uncomfortable. He doesn't want Tonya to be the reason that Nelson avoids the center. Theo explains that he approached Tonya and said that Nelson denies threatening her, and that they have to take him at his word. Of course, we don't actually get to hear Theo say this, or see Tonya's response. In an interview, Theo explains that being in the center for four or five hours keeps Nelson off the street for that time. He hopes to help Nelson and not lose him. For some reason, they are painting the mural on poster board instead of directly on the wall. Nelson helps Theo carry the mural into a storage room, and then they go outside and get ice cream. Theo asks Nelson to continue stopping by.
week: CJP's evil ex-boyfriend comes to visit, which leads to the obvious question, if you hate your ex-boyfriend, why would you invite him to visit? Chris apparently tucks in CJP's underwear, which was sticking out of her pants, and she freaks out and starts crying. It's all very confusing. He may have made a comment about how thin she is. I guess we'll find out week.