Previously on The Real World, Justin arrived at the house only to have Teck (who was swimming naked in the pool) scream out, "Are you gay? Are you gay?" This made Tetanus Girl feel sorry for Justin. So, this episode it going to be all about Justin.
I would like to point out that Wonder Bread wears the same lime green shirt about fifty per cent of the time. He's even wearing it in the credits. Dude, it's not that cool a shirt. And even if it were, you could try wearing something else once in a while.
At Local Motion, Wonder Bread introduces a "comedian" (and I use the term only in the loosest sense of the word) named Augie T. The captioning keeps saying "Oggy" instead of "Augie" but I'm going with the latter spelling. Augie breaks out in a flop sweat while talking about how they have all different kinds of Barbies now including "Oriental Barbie." Is that the one that comes wrapped up in a rug? Or do you think he meant "Asian"? Then he says that if there were a gay Barbie, it would have Barbie's body and Ken's head. I have a few things to tell Augie. One, there is a gay Barbie. It's called Ken. Second, is he trying to say that gay men have bodies like women? Wouldn't that actually be Transsexual Barbie? Third, I thought comedians were supposed to be funny. My bad.
Annoying comments on how bad the show is. It isn't clear whether she means bad in the sense of unfunny or bad in the sense of offensive. Actually, either would apply here. Justin looks uncomfortable. Of course, as soon as a gay joke is made, the producers cut to Justin. Because he's the only person in the room who could possibly be offended by it. Teck says in a confessional that he wasn't offended by the "jokes" because he's not gay.
After the "comedic performance," Wonder Bread, Colin and Justin are having a discussion. All three are wearing Hawaiian shirts. I hope to God that is the uniform for Local Motion employees. Wonder Bread says that "Everything [Augie] says sounds funny." Colin says, "Some of it is funny" (which could be true -- to be fair, we only saw a few moments of the routine). Justin asks if Wonder Bread really thought it was funny. Wonder Bread says Augie "handles himself well up there". This just serves to confirm to me that Wonder Bread has no taste. Of course, this should have been obvious after the green shirt.
Justin and Wonder Bread head to a radio station to promote their shows at Local Motion. It's Justin's first time being there. Augie is there too. The DJs start to interview Wonder Bread, and the first thing out of his mouth is how he has been checking out the wahines, which means "ladies". In a voice- over, Justin notes that Matt starts speaking and participating in what's going on in the room, and it's ugly. Back in the studio, Wonder Bread reads a news item about how some lawmakers in Alabama are trying to outlaw vibrators, and everyone has a good laugh about women's sexuality. Because THAT'S funny. Justin again notes in an interview that a big part of the schtick is "talking about women in an objectifying sense, in a silly sense, in a demeaning, small sense." Back in the studio, they ask Justin to say something and he declines (politely, I might add). In a confessional, Wonder Bread says that Justin appeared sour. Then he channels that seventy-five-year-old man again, and says that Justin has "melancholy." Sars and I predict that his words will be "slacks," "dungarees," "davenport," and "jalopy." I guess we were wrong. Anyway, Justin and Wonder Bread leave the studio.
Justin says in a confessional that so many times, people just don't get why he would be upset. WB says in a confessional that there were no gay jokes in the radio studio. Except Justin that said he was offended by the sexist comments.
Back on the porch, Justin says the talk was just gross. WB tells him he's being hyper-defensive. I know that I've found in having difficult discussions, it always helps a lot to tell someone he's being defensive. People love that. Back in the confessional, Justin shows that he's the most perceptive one in the house when he says that he thinks Wonder Bread feels threatened because his feelings -- as expressed in this conversation -- go against his image of being sensitive and caring. Back on the porch, Justin says that 75% of the comments on the radio show had to do with blatant heterosexuality. Wonder Bread still doesn't get it and says, "You sound as though that's a bad thing." Justin just says, "Yeah." In a confessional, WB says that Justin is heterophobic, and the seventy-five-year-old man says, "Whatnot." Back on the porch, Justin gets up and says this conversation isn't constructive, so it's over, and he leaves. While I understand that perhaps he was just trying to keep his cool, it could also be seen as running away from confrontation instead of trying to fix it. WB says, for the benefit of the cameras, "Unbelievable." Yes, WB, it is unbelievable that you continue to wear that UGLY SHIRT!
Justin and Tet Girl are in the kitchen making something. Ruthie tells us that Justin and Tet Girl are going to fast, not smoke and not drink. They asked Ruthie to join them but she said 'no way'; the implication the producers are making is that Ruthie couldn't abstain from the demon alcohol that long. But I'm getting ahead of myself -- that's week. Tet Girl says she is fasting to lose weight, but she knows that losing weight is a long term thing. In other words, she wants to lose weight, but not in a way that's healthy. Justin says he's just doing it for something to do, and to keep Tet Girl company.
In the van, Annoying says she tried to fast on two holidays but she couldn't make it. I find this surprising, because we've seen Annoying show an enormous amount of self-restraint and will power in terms of her relationship with Colin. Oh, that's right, in fact she has shown the opposite. My bad. In a confessional, Tet Girl tells us she has gained nine pounds since coming to the house, and in the van she says she needs to lose weight. Ruthie agrees with her (I think she's being sarcastic) and Annoying says "She's not fat. She needs to chill." Who knew Annoying would be the voice of reason?
Justin and Tet Girl are light headed from the fast and giggling a lot. Justin goes and throws up. Not much else happens in this scene. I have to seriously doubt that just fasting could make them that giddy. I've gone a day without eating before, and the first day isn't that bad. As I have often wondered before, I have to wonder if they are high.
Annoying is giving Colin a back rub in the top bunk as Justin tries to go to bed in the bottom bunk. In an interview, Justin tells us that he's felt the bunk rocking a few times and is annoyed that no one ever thought to ask him if it was okay if Annoying slept there too. He feels that Colin and Annoying act so blatant because they are heterosexual. On behalf of heterosexuals everywhere, I would like to disown those two from the tribe. It has nothing to do with their sexual orientation -- they're just rude! How wrong is it to have sex in the same room where Justin is trying to sleep? What are you, animals? My God.
Anyway, Justin tells Annoying that he doesn't want her sleeping there anymore and she weeps and carries on like her dog died. I mean, she cries all the way home from work, she stomps around the house and cries some more. What a brat. Justin says that he doesn't mind the overcrowding so much; it's just disrespectful and unfair. I agree. Annoying goes to the bed in the living room (which I still don't get -- why is there a bed in the living room? Why can't she go into her own room?) Colin comes in and tries to cheer her up by telling her she looks sexy when she cries. Good one. Then he demonstrates he is Master of the Obvious in a way Annoying could never be: they could just sleep there, or in her room. Meanwhile, Justin keeps going on about how heterosexuals can be more open about sex, but gays have to keep it hidden, which is true to a point. But I still think Colin and Annoying's actions have more to do with the fact that they're idiots.
Colin and Wonder Bread show their maturity by talking behind Justin's back. Do I even have to mention what shirt WB's wearing? Colin says that Justin always makes everything all about sexuality. WB says it's hard to be sympathetic to Justin when they know nothing about his past, or him. Justin says that he hasn't talked much about his past and that, now that people are asking questions, he needs to decide how much he wants to let these people know him. I say -- not at all! Run, Justin, run!
Justin and Tet Girl are sitting outside and Justin says he realizes how silly he's been because the solution to all the conflict is so obvious -- he needs to help his roommates understand why he is the way he is. Justin exhibits the most maturity I've seen yet on this show when he says, "When I cool off, I always think 'Why couldn't you have laughed it off? Why couldn't you rise above? Why couldn't you find a better way to talk to him about it when it's so important to you?'"
Justin tells Tet Girl the story of his first boyfriend. He had just gone to college at sixteen and this was the first time he had dated someone and he was really excited. His boyfriend wrote a letter to someone else about the relationship and sealed it. His boyfriend's parents found the letter, opened it, read it and promptly yanked the kid out of school and enrolled him in a seminary. They blamed the school and Justin, sued the school and tried to have Justin arrested. The age of consent in Massachusetts was sixteen. Justin was sixteen and his boyfriend was fifteen. Tet Girl points out that it wouldn't have mattered if he wasn't gay, and Justin agrees. Even hardened old me gets a little choked up when Justin says, "So I learned at sixteen what it felt like to be devalued." Dude, that sucks.
But it's all about Tet Girl, of course. She shares how whenever she tells people that her father died of AIDS (or more accurately, of complications from AIDS), they ask, "Was he gay?" and she just says, "Yeah." I can't describe her facial expressions and gestures well, but basically the gist is, "Does that mean he deserved to die? How does the way he contracted the virus have anything to do with it?" Which is a good point, that. Tet Girl goes on about how she and Justin have a connection. Justin sums it up by saying, "So when I hear people say that I'm making this up or I'm looking to be a victim, it just sounds dangerously close to 'You created this problem.'"
Tet Girl decides to butt in and talk to Wonder Bread on Justin's behalf. I can't really talk about how dumb their conversation is. Basically, Tet Girl says WB should try to understand Justin a little better and WB says he will. And then he says that one fight is not a deal-breaker on a friendship as far as he is concerned.
Tet Girl gets a phone call about an audition for Japanese TV. Annoying and Colin go with her. Tet Girl has on the ugliest halter top I have ever seen, bar none, and her hair is plastered down to her head. Aren't models supposed to be attractive? Colin, who definitely doesn't want to be a model, is wearing a tank top. Annoying is fishing for compliments by talking about how she isn't as cute as everyone else, but she has the boob advantage. No one takes the bait. Tet Girl tries to turn the focus back to her by talking about how terrible she feels from not eating. Annoying tells her to just eat already.
They get called in. Tet Girl gets pictures taken. Annoying gets pictures taken (Did anyone else notice she ditched her shirt and had her pictures taken in a bikini top? Way to work that boob advantage.) Colin walks in "like he owns the room" (his words, not mine) and cracks jokes and such. They take a lot of pictures of him. When he comes out, the girls are all excited and jealous, and Annoying keeps asking him if he "showed his peter." Colin keeps up the charade that he's all humble and stuff by saying, "I'm all for being a big star. I just don't think it's in the near future for me." If there are three needier people in the world, I don't know where.
Justin and Wonder Bread have a conversation that makes no sense unless you know what happens . Basically, Justin thinks they should draw up guidelines for comedians about what topics are okay to cover, and which ones are not. In a meeting with Colin, Wonder Bread, Teck and Calvin, Justin compares it to screening a musician. Colin agrees with Justin, which surprises me. Wonder Bread acts confused. Teck says he doesn't think they should be censoring the comedians and comedy is supposed to be offensive. Colin says, "No, it's supposed to be funny". Ha! That was funny. Oh, and Teck? Shut up. Degrading women and making racist comments isn't quite in the same league as talking about big feet or small butts. And if you can't see the difference, you're dumber than I thought.
Justin says he sent cards to Annoying, Wonder Bread and Colin to try and smooth things over because he realized their time in Hawaii is too good to waste on petty fights.
week: Ruthie drinks. Ruthie drives. Ruthie goes to rehab. It's what we've all been waiting for, people. See you there.