Previously on The Real World, Ruthie said, "It's scary being on my own, but it's cool because I don't know what I'm going to do ." Apparently, what she's going to do is get loaded into an ambulance and intubated while Wonder Bread says that he thinks she's going to die from alcohol poisoning, and then come home and announce that she's not going to quit, but she will drink in moderation instead. So, this episode is going to be about how Ruthie learns to drink in moderation.
Annoying, Ruthie and Wonder Bread are using their collective brain power to figure out how to light the gas grill. Finally, Annoying shows that she is the smartest because she knows how to read. Ruthie and Wonder Bread lean over the grill and just as I'm anticipating a flaming Ruthie kebab, lean back as the grill lights up. Wonder Bread then says, "We have gaaahhhss. We have lots of gahhhsss." The way he says it makes me think it's a line from a movie or something, because he used this accent. Then again, he's a giant dork. Wonder Bread informs us that the gang is going to have a barbecue. For those viewers who aren't familiar with the concept of a barbecue, he explains, "We're going to have people over to the house to have fun." Well, I feel better knowing that. I wasn't sure what he meant by the word "barbecue." It must be one of those Hawaiian words like "Aloha" that can have many meanings.
Tetanus Girl says that she's happy to have Calvin (their boss at Local Motion) and his girlfriend over because she thinks that it'll be nice for them to see the house. Not that they would want to treat Calvin to a nice meal for all the crap he has put up with, or for being such a great boss. No, they want to have him over to show off the house that they didn't earn or decorate. Good to know.
Calvin and Pam (his girlfriend) arrive and Annoying tells us she has developed a friendship with Pam (since no one in the house likes her) and that Pam is open-hearted and open-armed. As the barbecue kicks into gear, some musicians are jamming on acoustic guitars and Teck plays the bongo, and people are singing. Suddenly, Tupac, I mean Ruthie, drops some science on us by busting a rhyme (see, I can talk street lingo just as well as Tetanus Girl!). Here is Ruthie's rap:
I'm coming out on the backside, stepping on the scene
I"ll be the cream of the crop while you're sweatin' like a fiend
For the sass I possess to be the best from the west
If Colin weren't so obviously joking, I would have to agree with Annoying. But he was obviously just trying to give her a hard time. , Teck says that he doesn't know if Colin is leading Annoying on because he could be saying "I love you, baby" in her ear. Annoying says, "Colin can be very, very cute, and sometimes I want to give him a big, huge smooch and sometimes I want to kick him SQUA in the nuts" and yes, she said squa instead of square which I'm going to chalk up there right to "Chilly willy will" as the most Annoying things ever said.
Annoying is giving Colin a back rub in the bed and he's all bossing her around and she says, "Would you like me to bake you a pie while we're at it" and you know if he said yes she'd be all "Apple or pumpkin?" This scene is intercut with a scene of Wonder Bread and Colin in the confessional together where Colin says he likes Annoying and Annoying MORE than likes him (so if you have any lingering doubts that he was just clueless, put them aside) and Wonder Bread says, "So why don't you have sex with her" and Colin suddenly gets all pissy and says, "Who says Amaya wants to have sex with me [umm, you just did]? Who says I want to have sex with her? Who says I'm READY to have sex with her?" and oh dear, I think Colin has some issues. In the scene, Annoying goes to bed, leaving Colin and Teck in the kitchen to leer at one another and I'm expecting Teck to make the old poking one finger through a circle made out of two other fingers fourth grade sex gesture, as Colin heads into the bed. We see Annoying's bra hanging from a hook, and then see that she must be naked, and Colin shuts the curtains tightly and I'm thinking, where the hell is Justin during all this and why doesn't he go sleep in Annoying's empty bed? But I think the producers are trying to say that Colin and Annoying did have sex.
Ruthie, Tet Girl and two other girls are going out and Ruthie says they are going to "party so hard" (as if that's any different than usual). Ruthie drinks some more and then starts dancing on the table again as her friends start tucking money in her underwear (which kind of creeps me out -- nice friends!). Ruthie says that people in Hawaii are too conservative. Or maybe it's just that they didn't check their pride at the door. One or the other. Tet Girl grabs Ruthie and says, "Don't take your clothes off here," meaning, "wait until we're at home, at which time you can walk around topless like I used to do until I realized that you were getting all the camera time so I turned into your caretaker." Tet Girl says, "I'm not her [thanks for pointing that out], but when I'm around her I feel her life force so much. She's out of control and it scares me." What the hell is her life force?