A montage of Anthony coaching the kids to write anything that will actually come across as satisfying television viewing -- you can practically smell B-M bribing Anthony to tell the kids that "helps me with my homework" is spelled "B-A-D T-O-U-C-H" -- cuts to The Somber Seven sitting around a conference table after hours, listening to the results: "We have seventy-five kids here. Thirty-eight were surveyed, which is, like, fifty-one percent. Five percent of the people, nine through eleven, say that you never listen to them." Five percent? Dude, isn't that, like the margin of error? I mean, I hate the seven of them also, man; there's no margin for error there. And I'm still waiting for a .pdf downloadable version of that survey so I can register some of my very strong opinions of the wrongs these people have perpetrated against me over the course of the last seventeen weeks. But five percent of thirty-eight is, by my calculations, a grand total of 1.9 kids complaining about being ignored. So, y'know, wah wah. I mean, no one knows better than we do that there always has to be a complainer or two in the world (follow me to my MBTV in-box the day this recap goes up and follow the IP addresses of the hate mail right back to Philadelphia), but this is a really paltry attempt to cook up some drama right here. When I first watched this segment in its entirety, I was all prepared to end this paragraph with the sentiment, "Them sucking is now more than just an opinion...it's a statistic." But after crunching some numbers, I couldn't even rationalize it. Sweep up the hanging chads, baby. I demand a recount.
More facts according to B-M, as told by Poor Puppet Anthony: "Then I had three questions. The first one, which I should have received all positive results, was 'What do you like best about the volunteers?'" He quotes an answer, "'I like it when they are not screaming.' By an eight year-old." Cut to Syrus on the basketball court, telling kids to clean up, and yelling at them rather extravagantly, "No, no, no! You better not!" Cut back to Syrus in the conference room, defending himself with the shoulder-shrugging, "There are certain kids here who just don't listen, man." I think they cut out the heart of his defense: "I mean, I'm only asking for their mamas' phone numbers, man" because that forgotten subplot is, like, so Episode 9. Jason, now wearing Sean's Lay it Again, Sam hat, is so frightfully conscious of his as-yet-untarnished integrity in front of a national TV audience (yeah, RIGHT) that he steers hard-core into humility mode: "I'm realizing from this thing that I have been slacking. And I'm looking at some of these things down here, they're saying, 'They're nice, they're nice, they're nice,' and I'm thinking these kids are giving us more credit than we deserve." Yuck. He's the charter member of the kowtowing boy band *N Syncophant, so much of an ass-kisser is he. Cut to a montage of Jason and Kameelah in the middle of a spirited game of Jenga, the kids asking if they can play and Kameelah yelling back, "No, you can go build some blocks." Approximately 1.9 disenfranchised children skulk off in search of a pen.