"My first full day here was very uncomfortable for me," says Michael in a sit-down. "Because I like to be in a very comfortable situation and I really didn't like that uncomfortable-ness of not knowing how to get anywhere." Gee Michael, how did that make you feel? Uncomfortable? The gang, sans Sharon, stand around a map and Neil explains to all of them where everything is. Someone lets Sharon out of her cage and they venture out of the house to explore the neighborhood. Sharon explains in a sit-down that the area of London they live in is called Notting Hill Gate which is known for being "very trendy, very quite arty, very forward-thinking -- lots of veggie restaurants and coffee shops." When Sharon says "coffee shops," she lifts her hand and wiggles her fat little fingers like she's a real estate agent. She goes on to explain that Notting Hill is a very bohemian youthful area, while they show the gang wandering around. Funny, Notting Hill doesn't look anymore youthful or bohemian than Greenwich Village did after all those gay investment bankers moved in and bought up all the townhouses. I seriously doubt that there is a plethora of affordable one-bedroom floor-throughs for rent in this neighborhood. They walk along Portobello Road, which Sharon explains is a very famous shopping region in London. Jay, in the spirit of things, picks up a Newsies-style cap from a street vendor's table and tries it on. Jay, the Newsies-style cap table is the London equivalent of those NYC tables with cheap sunglasses and crap jewelry: They're for tourists and they....oh never mind. The gang listens to street musicians and looks at crafts.
A London supermarket. Ah, now it's time for our weekly segment entitled, Michael, the Ugly American. Michael stands at the meat counter in total disbelief that they actually sell tongue. Michael, they sell tongue in the States too -- you probably just never realized it because you've never been to a supermarket before, since your mother does all the cooking and shopping. Then Michael goes ballistic because he can't find ranch dressing. And he won't let up. He complains to everyone who will listen to him about how there's no ranch dressing in this supermarket. Then he complains about it in a sit-down. I think Michael is either OCD or autistic or something because he keeps chanting "ranch dressing...ranch dressing" over and over again. Jacinda, trying to maintain a sweet princess-like tone to her voice, pretty much tells Michael to get over it. Michael vows to call his dad and have him ship some over. Lord, I'd hate to see what happens when Michael goes to the dairy counter and finds out they don't have any nacho cheese.