So, Beth is on the phone with an ex-boyfriend who's threatening to kill himself to get her back. The way he explains it, though, his plan is to kill himself. And then she'll come back to him. The ex doesn't seem to grasp the concept of killing oneself; that is, should his plan succeed, he would be dead. And not really viable boyfriend material. Anyway, Beth and the ex -- who, because of his jerky and quasi-abusive tone, and because I was watching today, I'm going to call Ray Pruit (with one "t", because that's all his mama could afford) -- have this very dramatic conversation, in which Ray Pruit whinily begs Beth give him the benefit of the doubt. Beth doesn't want to talk to Ray Pruit, she says, or see him, or have anything to do with him. She tells the camera that it's hard for her not to "be there as a friend" for Ray Pruit, even though he's nuts and she doesn't ever want to look at or speak to him again. On the phone, Beth tells Ray Pruit that he needs "help" and "to get on with his life." And then maybe she'll talk to him again. Maybe. Ray Pruit moans that Beth is being "totally cold." Beth tells him to piss off, and hangs up. No, she doesn't. She lets him manipulate her some more, so that Jon can overhear her trying to extricate herself from the disastrous conversation and then rescue her with the old "Hey, Roommate, I Have to Use the Phone" trick. Finally, Beth slams down the phone and runs off into the night. Jon finds her and points out that Ray Pruit is never going to leave her alone if she lets him talk her ears off for hours at a time.
Confessional time. Beth whines that she wants to forget about "that part of her life."
Jon tells the camera that Beth is having a hard time, and that Ray Pruit used to be "abusive." Jon tells Beth that she needs to quit talking to Ray Pruit on the phone, and to stop giving him the benefit of the doubt: "He's obviously a total nut case." Beth squeals that she cares what happens to Ray Pruit! Jon listens as Beth explains that Ray Pruit drove a wedge between her and her mother. And she really doesn't want to get back into that. Then she looks thoughtful.
Turns out Beth's mom is coming to town. On one day's notice. If my mother came to town (well, my mother lives in town, so this is all hypothetical, but let's just imagine) on one day's notice, that one day would be a crazy maelstrom of cleaning and tears. And maybe a haircut. Beth tells us that her mother is a semi-famous radio celebrity in Ohio. She's the Polish Voice of Cleveland! Cue a montage of shots of Cleveland. Well, I assume it's Cleveland. Anyway, Beth's mom comes to town, and she and Beth go to Venice and buy sunglasses and look at all the rest of the tourists buying sunglasses. Beth is wearing a fanny pack, high-waisted shorts, and a cropped top. That outfit is so bad, it hurts my feelings.
Jon tells us that Beth's mom -- who apparently has no name -- was horrified by the state of the beach house. Then she cleaned the entire thing. My mother would have just yelled at me for being a disgusting slob and then shot me disappointed looks for the rest of my life. Beth's mom then cooks for the whole house, another thing my mother wouldn't have done. I love my mother -- don't get me wrong -- and she is a wonderful cook, and she entertains all the time. But there is no way she'd come visit me and then decide to cook a whole big dinner for a bunch of slobs, especially if they treated me the way those people treat Beth. Yeah, I'm feeling sorry for her; I don't know, it's the end of the summer and I'm getting soft or something. This entire moment reminds me of the time my roommate Jen's parents came to visit us, over a weekend, and I woke up around 11 on Saturday morning, and her mother had cleaned our entire apartment from stem to stern while I slept. It was like the Cleaning Fairy had visited over night. It was the greatest morning of my life. As they sit down to eat, Glenn a.k.a. "Mr. Sensitivity" wonders whether he's allowed to make Polish jokes in front of the Polish Voice of Cleveland. And Beth's mom fully shuts him down. "You want dessert?" she asks, cocking a brow, and acting like she'd be more than happy to take said dessert and dump it over his head. I'm in love with Beth's mom.
, Beth, her mom, and Jon go to down to C & O, this Italian place on Washington Avenue in Marina del Rey that has great garlic rolls. And self-serve wine! Anyway, they eat, and Jon asks Beth's mom whether she misses Beth. She doesn't, she says, because she's too busy. As Jon watches, horrified at what he's started, Beth and her mother bicker about not doing anything together when Beth is around, never mind when she's halfway across the country. Beth whines that she would like to do more things with her mother. Beth's mom replies they don't do things together because they don't enjoy the same activities. Beth tells the camera that her mother blows her off in favor of work all the time, even on Christmas. On Christmas, people! Back at the restaurant, Beth's mom explains that she's simply very, very busy. "Someone has to make money to pay for all your high-class evenings," she says, like Beth has a habit of going out and plowing through cases of Cristal and blow, with a couple of pricey call girls. "Now, you don't have father, so everything falls on mother," she guilt-trips. Jon fervently wishes to himself that he never brought any of this up. Everyone looks off into the air.
Beth tells the camera that she and her mother don't have the typical "nurturing" mother/daughter relationship. Um, I think the typical mother/daughter relationship is, like, 30% "nurturing" and 60% "yelling about stuff," at least until you're out of the house. Blah blah blah, neither of them can talk about their feelings. Or something. I don't know.
Back at the house, Mr. Hateful 1993 (Glenn) spits that Beth is "selfish." He hates her, he says. Then he picks a fight with Beth, because apparently one of her friends brought a dog to the house. And Glenn hates dogs, I guess. I don't really understand how Glenn can be so angry about a harmless little dog when he's the one who let twelve unwashed and untalented musicians live in the house for weeks at a time. At any rate, he's being a total ass, as usual. Beth ineffectually tells him to calm down. Everyone else watches as Glenn abuses Beth right there at the table, and once again I am reminded that Glenn has big, big issues with women. The meal degenerates into Glenn and Beth yelling at each other, while everyone else slowly develops acid reflux disease.
Glenn tells us that "a lot of people in the house dislike Beth." You know, all of this bellyaching is only serving to make me feel bad for Beth. I know -- I never thought that would happen, either.
Après fight, Beth lies in her bed and mopes. Jon skips over to her and tells her not to take Glenn seriously: "It's not worth it. He is so messed up in the head." Jon: so young, and so wise. "And don't worry about Dom and Aaron," he finishes. Beth sniffs. Jon tells the camera that he's sick of people picking on Beth. He thinks Glenn is especially rotten to her, and now Aaron's on the bandwagon.
Cut to the pool room. Jon asks Glenn and Aaron what, specifically, bugs them about Beth. Glenn responds by calling Jon "full of it," and then laughs. Huh? How is that even an answer? Anyway, Aaron says "she's psycho." Jon explains to the viewing public that it can be difficult to have a conversation with Aaron. Jon responds to this "psycho" charge -- and let me tell you, compared to the foolios over at Big Brother, Beth is the picture of mental health -- by saying that Aaron is incapable of having a conversation like a normal person -- that he has his opinions, and that anyone who disagrees with him is wrong. Aaron sputters. Jon asks the two of them just to chill with Beth. "You're a typical spoiled brat, Aaron," Jon says. "You're a typical idiot," Aaron retorts. Jon shakes his head and goes upstairs. "I am not a spoiled brat!" Aaron bitches, stamping his foot.
Later, Beth and her mom walk on the beach and force themselves to enjoy some quality time. Beth gloomily predicts that this visit won't change anything. All she wants is for her mother to be proud of her, but that will never happen, she says. Way to have a positive attitude. Then Beth voice-overs some depressing stuff to the effect that her mom does the best she can, and that's all she's ever going to get, and that she'll have to just accept that. Then her mother hops on a plane and, with a giant sigh of relief, returns to her glamorous life as the Polish Voice of Cleveland.
Back at the house, Beth and Aaron have it out. Calmly. I mean, they don't yell. He asks her whether she has a problem with Glenn. Beth responds that Glenn is only trying to bait her in order to create drama in his boring, boring life. Aaron smacks a basketball as he apologizes for upsetting Beth in the past, and tells her that she can always come to him if she needs to talk. Beth explains that she's bothered by his calling her "psycho" behind her back, and that she doesn't feel that he respects her. For some reason, Aaron is wearing a black velvet riding cap, like the one Elizabeth Taylor wears in National Velvet. It's distracting. Anyway, Beth explains that Aaron needs to accept their differences of opinion. Aaron agrees that he needs to become more compassionate. They hug. I'm positive this new peace between them will last forever and ever.
Banthony tells the camera that Beth is "growing, as far as her individual strengths go," and then spews some more psychobabble. The two of them go to a kickboxing class, and Banthony voice-overs that she's going to miss Beth when "this is all over," because she's the only person who ever drags her out to do fun stuff she'd never do otherwise. Or something. Anyway, they happily kick stuff together. Beth imagines Glenn's face pasted on the front of her punching bag and gets off a stellar roundhouse kick.
Beth tells Banthony that she can't believe how petty Glenn is. Banthony replies that Beth needs to stand up to Glenn, and that the best way to deal with him is to turn your back on him and ignore him. Don't feed the monster! My advice would be to smack him upside the head, but that's just me.
God, Glenn's talking again. I hate him so much. He says he's forgiven Beth for "all the dimwitted things she's done in the past," like, how sensitive and touching of him, and clearly, he speaks the truth, and he's let go of all the hate. Beth explains that she ran into Glenn and his friend with the Raggedy Ann red hair (Aileen) at a local coffee shop, and they sort of started talking about their relationship. All she asks is that they attempt to get along. Glenn says something to the effect that his big family made him defensive, I think. To tell the truth, I've started tuning Glenn out, because he doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and also, he makes me mad. He does promise to try harder with Beth. Again, I am very sure this will last. Can't you smell the optimism in the air? Oh, that's just smog. My bad.
So then the whole house goes out to play paintball, at the urging of Aaron, who's done it before with his fraternity. They all have fun, fun, fun, shooting each other. Beth eventually wins the game, having the most motivation to kill her roommates. "[Paintball] is easier than punching someone. Or talking to them," Banthony muses. Beth squeals that she really loved the paintball. After all, she has a lot of aggression to get out. Then everyone hugs in their camouflage gear and wishes the paintballs had been actual bullets, and then the audience learns that the best way to resolve problems is through violent role-playing games!