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With lunatic Sully on the loose -- now abetted by the nearly-as-insane Mickey Donovan -- Ray sends Avi to babysit Abby and the kids in Calabasas. Surprise, Abby is a bitch about this and refuses to believe anything anybody says, about anything and everything. Conor gets a bit of a Tommy Wheeler crush on Avi after hearing about his days in Mossad, and by the end of the episode Abby sends the kids off to a hotel with Avi so she can start as much shit as possible with whoever's around.
After charming zero pants off the cops investigating Sean Walker's murder, Mickey calls Claudette down from Malibu for a quick meeting that, as usual, is suffused with equal parts gratitude and regret. Mickey's sad-sack love for Claudette is entertaining and touching as ever, and of course she agrees to say she was with him that night. One less storyline to worry about heading into the finale, I suppose, although that's still only one murder out of like four that he has an alibi for, due to being a crazy, constant murderer.
Given the limited amount of info at his disposal, it's pretty easy to understand why Frank, after discovering Van Miller's (sniff) dead body, assumes that Ray is behind his murder. (Even though actually that makes no sense.) Of course, maybe if Ray hadn't ridden him so hard and so blackmaily the whole time, maybe he'd see sense, but Ray is not his usual loquacious self when he gets Frank's call, thanks to having had the worst day in history.
To wit: Once he's got the babysitter Avi in place, Ray heads out to do (whatever, it's not clear) about Sully and Mickey, and calls to harass Frank again which sets up his finding of Van's body, and then has to drop all of that because Bunchy has just shown up at the Fite Club covered in blood, because guess what, he shot that priest.
Frances is of the opinion that the priest should go to the hospital, but the Donovans -- including Daryll -- decide to go a little bit of a different way. Namely, torturing him for the entire episode until he admits that he's the mad molester that ruined all of their lives. (A plot that has come to dominate at least one episode of every television show in existence, lately; it's like the new "underground fight club" trope). Spoiler alert, he is; shocker alert, he also molested Ray Donovan. Who shoots him in the head, after a protracted conversation about whether or not he's going to do just that.
So yeah. Ray got messed with. It flips the hard-boiled "broken dolly" noir thing around on its head in a brutally intelligent way, which means reversing the polarity of the entire show if you think about it, because everything magnetizes to that one nucleus of exploitation in various forms. I mean, not to say that it wasn't there to be picked up on -- his memory issues, his sexual issues, his obsession with his own children's bodies; his devotion to both protecting the helpless and cleaning up messes like they were never there -- but because we know so little about him and what is ever going on with him, it makes Bunchy's B-story as much misdirection as it is powerful in its own right.
In the end, Ray goes home and admits the truth about this situation to Abby, who saw just enough of the hostage scenario to seriously consider divorce. Although it's the emotional honesty she's been demanding this entire time, the fact that he's too fucked up -- and preoccupied with the eighty other things on his plate right now -- to accept her greedy comfort means she ends up out the door anyway, which is so Abby.
"Oh, you won't let me climb your body like a tree while we talk about how you got raped? Guess that means I'm basically being abused. Abby out!"
Anyway. Ezra's freaking out about all this, so there's now two stressful dads (and two dead priests!) in Ray's life, not to mention the Sullivan threat and whatever retaliation Mickey still has in store. Bunchy maybe will get better from this point forward, and possibly Ray will end up with custody of Sean Walker's test-tube baby in the near future. Which seems like a fine Season Two to me: Just shirtless Ray Donovan, holding a baby, making phone calls and driving around LA and having gruff feelings he keeps to himself while investigating his various scars and tattoos in the mirror.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!PREVIOUSLY
Bunchy thought he spotted his abuser at a church here in LA, which is the kind of coincidence this show seems pretty comfortable with. Mickey accidentally sexually assaulted a lady, and then after they made up about it Sully shot her through the head. But it's okay, because now: Mickey and Sully are friends, Sean Walker is dead, Mickey knows his son tried to have him murdered, and Ray is running out of options. For some reason, his FBI contact won't turn in Van Miller for being on LSD that time, despite many episodes of Ray blackmailing him to do so. What nobody knows except Mickey is that Van Miller -- an American hero and certainly the best part of this TV program -- is lying face-down in his usually tidy basement lair, which is just now very messy due to having all of his blood all over it from his recent brutal murder.
AVI
Shows up looking awesome and scary as usual to protect the house in Calabasas from the hit squad of old dudes that is coming after everybody in their alliance of murder. At some point I would like to know what is so fucking great about Colleen that half of the people on this show were in love with her and are still feeling bitchy about her death twenty years later. They're not just sad about it, they are crazy! Maybe I just don't have the attention span but I can't imagine being that raw this much later, that I would come out of hiding from the FBI and go around killing random movie stars about it.
Avi "So Sully is going to come kill everybody, probably?"
Ray "He's an enigma, Avi. Who can say? But given that he kills people every episode, often for no real reason, that makes me think probably you are correct."
Avi "I foresee your wife giving me no trouble. No asking endless questions, or shrieking in my face like a harpy, or doing the exact opposite of anything I ask her."
Ray "Of these notions you will soon be disabused."
EZRA
Ezra "So apparently I am in charge of Sean Walker's baby."
Ray "Are you sure? That doesn't sound right."
Ezra "I negotiated the surrogacy with his secretary, so I am the mom of the baby."
Ray "Aren't you a lawyer? Can you not fix this?"
Ezra "Not in this episode. Isn't it sad how Sean Walker is dead?"
Ray "Not really, he was kind of insufferable. I'm more worried about how Sully seems to think that he is immune to justice or reality and just goes around like some kind of West Coast George Zimmerman, killing people flagrantly and showing no regard for appearances."
Ezra "Any update on your evolving position regarding your father's murder?"
Ray "Look, I tried to kill him. Couldn't do it. Then I summoned the Devil to Los Angeles to kill him. Didn't work. My plan right now is to freak the fuck out."
Ezra "I am kind of like your father also. And my advice is, don't freak out. Just kill your other dad. Is this helping?"
FRANK
Ray "Hey it's Ray Donovan from the show Ray Donovan where every week you piss and moan about how you're going to get Van Miller fired one day, but it's always jam tomorrow."
Frank "I know, and you keep doing worse things to me to make me do it! But right now I am more interested in Sean Walker being dead, because it kind of makes Van Miller's insane conspiracy theories look real."
Ray "That is the last thing I needed to hear! I want you to understand that we are no longer buddies, and I am going to bring down hell on you."
Frank "Like you say every episode and then nothing happens? Okay, maybe I will get Van Miller fired tomorrow."
Frank "Sir, I am just about tired of Ray Donovan giving me the business. Can I come upstairs and talk to you about the wonderful Van Miller?"
Boss "He is so great. A little weird and twitchy but my goodness, what a dreamboat."
Frank "If I leave my office and head toward the elevators right now, I will be upstairs in probably seventy more episodes to discuss this with you finally."
MICKEY
Mickey "Are you a Jehovah's Witness?"
Cops "No, we are cops. Did you kill Sean Walker?"
Mickey "I actually really loved Sean Walker, both in my alibi narrative and in reality, which doesn't answer your question. Why don't you come inside and have some Sanka?"
Cops "We are not a hundred years old, so what is that?"
Mickey "It is like coffee, only made of sadness."
TERRY
Frances "Thanks for throwing me one after all of these fights we've been having."
Terry "I love you but I am also Catholic!"
Frances "I am married but I also love your ways of being sad but honorable!"
Bunchy "Sorry to interrupt you guys, but I am covered in blood! I shot or stabbed a priest and then dragged him up to the boxing studio so his blood would go all over all the surfaces and we can all go to jail for murder."
Ray "Terry I have to make like a million phone calls while driving aimlessly around California. What is it?"
Terry "Bunchy is here and he is just covered in blood."
Ray "This sucks because Bunchy's the best in so many ways! But in other ways it's like, you're not that surprised to hear he stabbed a priest."
AVI
Abby "Why are you in my kitchen talking to my son about sports?"
Avi "I'm affable and I care a lot about your family?"
Abby "Well, that is just horrible. Get out of my home."
Avi "I am here for security. I need to check your security system."
Abby "Why? I hate being safe in Calabasas."
Avi "Abby, please don't give me a bunch of bullshit about this."
Abby "Do you have any idea who you are motherfucking talking to?"
She gives him all the bullshit she's got, which as we know is an impressive amount. It takes about an hour. He breaks out in a sweat.
Abby "...And in summation, does this have anything to do with Sean Walker's murder or a hit squad of old men traveling around town murdering people? And if so, is there any way I can summon them here immediately to kill all of us?"
Avi "Do you not understand that I am here to make sure you don't have anything to worry about?"
Abby "That's why I am so worried! Just to be a dick."
She punches him or whatever, screams an unearthly pterodactyl scream, and then offers him coffee and then throws the hot coffee in his face and then makes him some more coffee and breakfast and then insults him while he eats the breakfast. Just another Abby morning, really. "Do you like this breakfast? Because it thinks you're a FUCKING LIAR. Get out of my house! Sit down at the kitchen table! Use a napkin! Choke on this breakfast I made you!"
BUNCHY
Bunchy "Okay, don't be mad."
Ray "Did you seriously kidnap and shoot a priest?"
Frances "Yeah, he's bleeding out. As you can tell by the fucking abattoir of blood and priest-guts Bunchy has made of your legacy."
Ray "Why is she here?"
Terry "Because we are in love! And she's a nurse."
Ray "Get her out of here. This is family business. The family that gets molested together covers up kidnappings together. Pretty sure that's in your precious Bible."
Priest "Help me!"
Everybody "Shut up!"
Frances "Are we aware that there is a man dying in here?"
Ray "That is like one solitary fact amid many, many various other facts that you don't know about and you don't get to know about, because you are dicking my brother around."
Frances "Okay I'm leaving but promise me you won't do anything characteristic in this circumstance."
Terry "I would like to lie to your face..."
Frances "Please do."
Terry "Fine, we will get him to the hospital immediately and make sure he receives proper care."
Frances "I will be back later on to make you tell me more lies. Then when I figure it out -- which will be immediately, because it is obvious -- I will throw more drama your way."
Priest "Help me!"
Everybody "Shut the fuck up!"
MICKEY
Cops "Tell us all about your movie deal with the formerly alive Sean Walker."
Mickey "That is my favorite topic! I bet when a dotty old man invited you in for Sanka you weren't expecting to hear such an incredibly boring, nonsensical story that seems mostly delusional."
Cops "Why is your face all beat up like you were abducted by the FBI's Most Wanted man?"
Mickey "Walked into a door or something drunk like that!"
Remember that song "My Name Is Luka"? Whenever anybody says about walking into the door I always try to think of a joke to make about that song about violent child abuse, and it just never works out. One of these days.
FITE CLUB
Ray "I am curious as to how we got here. Fill me in?"
Bunchy "Honestly there's not much to tell. I got in his car with him and shot him and the thing you know it was bedlam!"
Ray "You rode your bike to his church and then kidnapped him in his own car?"
Lena "I like almost being on this show."
Ray "I need you to go find my brother's bike. It looks like a bike you would buy if you were stuck being a shy preteen in a beautiful grown man's body."
Bunchy "It is almost a bike for a grownup!"
Lena "Okay, also I found out who else was staying with Sully, it is Eddie who is gross and Tiny who is ironically large."
Priest "Still dying over here!"
Bunchy "I am pretty sure you molested me!"
Priest "No, I am from Philadelphia."
Ray "I have problems remembering things because of my traumas. Terry, remember when Father Danny tried to rape you?"
Terry "Yeah that was not a great day."
Ray "Which hand did you break?"
Terry "The one that looks all fucked up on this priest."
Priest "I have arthritis!"
Ray "Okay, I'm pretty sure you molested us but let's continue to talk about it until you die and then it won't matter."
HOME
Abby "Do you like the view from our window? Because I hate you. Do you want some eggs? Because you are a bastard."
Avi "I wouldn't mind cooking, actually."
Abby "I would be very grateful for that! But also, suck a dick."
Avi "I am going to make a lovely breakfast for your family while also bodyguarding you."
Abby "I am at sixes and sevens right now, I don't mind telling you."
Conor "Is dad helping them find out who killed Sean Walker?"
Abby "I am sure it has something to do with that. It makes me mad but also scared, which I convert into being more mad. Fair warning, I am going to freak out some more. As soon as you are done making us breakfast."
Avi "Part of being a good guy is letting you pull this constant bullshit to me, so okay."
Abby "Part of being me is the constant bullshit. You might even say it's mostly what I am about."
MICKEY
Mickey "Anyway, thanks for stopping by and thank you for helping us find out who killed my friend Sean Walker. Did you know he has a foundation for general mutilation?"
Cops "That's not a thing but we know what you're talking about. What are you doing later? Just being crazy and old, probably?"
Mickey "No, my black son is boxing!"
Cops "That is probably an interesting story."
Mickey "Not the way I tell it!"
Cops "Anyway, you need an alibi."
Mickey "Claudette? Could you drive here so I can ask you for a favor? I will probably try to have sex with you because I am still in love with you and pretty singleminded."
Claudette "I was getting pretty bored just hanging around this gorgeous house being gorgeous. I will see you in a couple of hours. Don't kill or rape anybody in the meantime."
Mickey "I will do my best, which is usually not that great."
FITE CLUB
Ray "Bunchy, why are you sitting on that priest? You're squeezing all the blood out!"
Bunchy "When I don't know what to do, I really don't know what to do."
Potato Pie "I am here for work!"
Ray "You get today off, Potato Pie."
Potato Pie "Based on the amount of hostage blood covering everything, I am going to say okay to that."
Daryll "I am also here! For boxing later."
Ray "Okay Daryll, let me tell you what's going on."
Daryll "You have kidnapped and shot a priest and then dragged him all around the room?"
Ray "It seems you are up to speed."
HOME
Abby "Avi, do you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?"
Avi "No, because your family is a handful. Also my mother keeps the Shabbat so I have to do things for her on the weekends."
Conor "Tell me all about Jewish stuff."
Bridget "Yes, we are spiritually hungry due to being heathens. Daddy hates religion due to his whole family getting raped by priests, and Mom..."
Mom "-- I do yoga! That's practically church."
Bridget "I am going to be a Buddhist, because of course I am."
Bridget tries to make a hasty exit, which forces Avi to admit that he is keeping them all prisoner so he can guard their bodies, and of course the very idea of Abby being safe and secure in her own house sends her through the roof and she goes ballistic on him again.
Abby "I hate how you just let me hit you and spit on you and scream and scream like it's no big deal. I'm calling to bitch at Ray so I can get some satisfaction out of today."
Ray "Abby, I know why you're calling and I want to ask you please do not abuse Avi. He is very nice and he puts up with my behavior."
Abby "I don't believe anything! Everybody is goddamn phoneys!"
Bunchy "This priest seems like he is dying."
Abby "Is that Bunchy on your end? I hear Bunchy. Are you hanging out with your brothers! Fuck you for having fun with some dead priest while I am here getting waited on hand and foot by your bodyguard!"
Ray "Whatever, I have to go."
Abby "Get out of my way, Avi. I have to go get attacked or run into paparazzi or whatever you are here expressly to keep me from doing."
Avi "I can't let you do that. Have you noticed I am huge and strong?"
Abby "Have you noticed that I'm willing to push it so far you basically would have to put your hands on me to stop me?"
Avi "Why do you put me in these awful positions?"
Abby "I just like causing trouble! For myself and others!"
Abby "Conor and Bridget! Avi is babysitting you! But I am just going to go around town starting shit! I will see you guys later!"
FITE CLUB
Bunchy "I'm starting to worry about the priest. Not in a creepy Stockholm or Lima Syndrome way, but just in a way where I spent thirty years building him up in my head to a confusing monster and but really he is just a frail fucked-up old person."
Terry "I also don't want him to die on our watch, because of Jesus."
Ray "This is like a Viet Nam of sorts. I have no exit strategy. He will put Bunchy in jail for shooting him, and then we lose Bunchy because he can't handle that."
Terry "I will go to jail for it, then. I bet the priest would go for that."
Priest "Why are you doing this?"
Bunchy "You broke me in a very bad way."
Priest "Somebody did, but I'm standing by my story that it wasn't me. I think you should seek therapy for your issues."
Bunchy "I think what is happening right now is therapy for my issues."
He describes the abuse in some fairly graphic terms that are also childlike, which is a dealbreaker and we're not going to talk about it. The priest is very sorry for him, but also sorry for himself. Specifically the hole in him that Bunchy shot.
FRANK
Frank "See and you can see on this video that Van Miller was on LSD."
Boss "Who even takes LSD? Well, it's Van Miller. I can see that, totally."
Frank "So good, we're done. I don't have to be afraid of Ray in every episode anymore."
Boss "But why are you telling me this? I know it's not that you hate Van Miller because nobody could hate Van Miller because he's wonderful, so it must be some other personal thing, like are you on somebody's payroll?"
Frank "No, I am a fair FBI man who believes in what is right. And call me old-fashioned, but I don't think taking psychedelic drugs at work is what God intended for the Bureau."
FITE CLUB
Lena "I guess somebody stole the bike but at least it wasn't at the shooting location anymore. An old lady said she heard a gunshot, but because it is LA she just assumed it was no big deal."
Priest "I am in big trouble!"
Lena "Anyway, I will talk to you about some other storyline later."
Bunchy "This priest is still dying, you guys."
Ray "No witnesses, the bike is gone... All the evidence is here, where Bunchy seemed to use the bleeding priest as a Swiffer and rub him against every surface including the entire stairwell."
Terry "But I promised Frances that we would keep him alive!"
Ray "That is not really my problem."
Ray "Look, just tell Bunchy you are sorry for raping him and we can go."
Priest "But I didn't do anything!"
Ray "So? Just do it. Or you can die, that would be fine too."
The boys have a sidebar.
Daryll "I'd like to register a paltry opposition to all of this."
Terry "Ray, yelling at the priest isn't going to help. You're being really mean."
Bunchy "I think I should be in charge of all of this because I was the one that shot him. But also because this is my whole thing, it's about me. He didn't molest any of you, so you are jerks to be in charge of it."
Ray "Bunchy, shut up."
Bunchy "I am starting to think that maybe I was into it?"
Ray "Bunchy, this way lies madness."
Bunchy "He took his time seducing me, he bought me stuff, he took me camping. It was a good relationship in a lot of ways, before the raping started. Maybe I just gave in."
Ray "This is how they get you, Bunch. Don't go there. Frankly, I blame myself."
Mickey -- of course -- is to blame in this story: Mickey was supposed to take Ray to see the eponymous Bucky Dent play in some sort of game of sport, but he never made it there, or he never really had the tickets. Basic deadbeat dad stuff, after he'd left the house and shacked up with Claudette. When Ray finally figured it out and headed home, kicking rocks and tin cans and whatever litters the streets of Boston, Father Danny was just leaving. Ray noticed Bunchy looked wacked out, totally knew what happened, and decided it was his fault for not being around. Everybody wants this to be about them instead of just a horrible thing that happened, because that's how we get power over things.
Bunchy "It's not your fault, you didn't know what he was. He had us all fooled. I want him to apologize. Then I want to help him."
Ray "We'll see. I mean, that's a goal to shoot for, sure."
HOME
Conor "Avi, you're so good at Call Of Duty!"
Avi "It's because I'm ex-Mossad. Obviously."
Conor "Tell me about life on the kibbutz and the Israeli Army and Mossad. Basically this conversation is porn to me."
Avi "They called me the Lone Wolf. I didn't like anything in life until I joined the Mossad and I could just kill people and be left alone. I was seven years of age when I took down my first armed patrol squad using a paperclip and a loaf of bread."
Conor "Tommy Wheeler, you've got man-crush competition! Now, about me becoming Jewish..."
FITE CLUB
Ray "Its truth or falsity is moot, Father Whatever. Just tell him you're sorry. Tell him who you are and what you did, and then we will take you to the hospital and buy you presents and make you part of the family and invite you to Christmas every year."
Priest "Okay, fine. Sorry I am the guy that raped you."
Ray "Make it believable."
Father Danny "Twist! I totally am actually the dude that raped you. I was close with your mother, who died, and I was really into kids in the okay way and the not okay way, and it's gross but I'm over it. I haven't molested a kid in... Man, it seems like a hundred years!"
Bunchy "But you're doing it to that kid I saw you with!"
Father Danny "No, I'm just tutoring him. They chemically castrated me, so now instead of molesting kids I just think about it all the time."
Bunchy "That seems like a lateral move. But thanks for telling us all this."
Father Danny "So am I off the hook?"
Ray "Not especially. I was kind of lying to you about that."
(Knock-knock.)
Ray "Oh shit. Abby hasn't called to scream at me in like five minutes. That's probably her. And you know her ass isn't going anywhere. Be right back."
Abby "What is with all this blood? Why do you have a bloody priest?"
Father Danny "Hey, nice lady! Could you save me from being murdered?"
Abby "For the first time in my entire life, I'm going to make a graceful exit."
Ray "Seriously?"
Abby "Yeah, I just... This is a bridge too far. You may have actually broken my mind."
Ray "Okay, well. I'll see you later. I probably won't talk to you about this, making you feel ever more insane and bitter."
Abby "I appreciate that, I do."
MICKEY
Mickey "Claudette! Thanks for coming to see me. Do you want to get drunk and listen to records and be in love?"
Claudette "It's nice to see you but I don't feel like drinking. I don't dance much anymore. Why don't you just tell me why I'm here?"
Mickey "Well, I was kidnapped by the FBI's Most Wanted with this girl I accidentally sexually assaul... Actually, back up. Do you know Sean Walker?"
Claudette "Say no more. I will be your alibi."
Mickey "Because we are in love?"
Claudette "Because you stole half a million dollars for me and got me to LA when I was pregnant with your child and you basically created a beautiful life that I stepped into, while you were off in prison losing your humanity, and now I rock and you are old and kind of shitty, so I owe you."
Mickey "Thanks. Can I see your butt? Just for like ten seconds."
FITE CLUB
Priest "I am still not dead! I just keep dying!"
Bunchy "Maybe he won't tell anybody we did this?"
Priest "I am not very trustworthy, historically speaking!"
Ray "Fine, I will take him to the hospital. That will be nice for everybody, since apparently I'm the only person that doesn't care if he dies."
Donovans "Thank goodness. This was getting to be stressful, what with him dying right in front of us and the constant bummer of rape discussions."
Priest "Uh, guys?"
Ray "Anyway, we'll just be off..."
Priest "Hello, guys? Are you kidding me? I am not going to the hospital. I am going to take a dirt nap. Have you met Ray Donovan? He is lying."
Donovans "What? Ray Donovan, fix a problem and take on the entire burden for himself? That sounds like a pretty good TV show."
Priest "The real reason is..."
Ray "Shut up, Father Danny."
Priest "Because there's another twist about my molesting..."
Ray "Seriously, you want to shut it Father."
Priest "I also raped Ray! But that was because I loved you so much."
Bullet in the head. I guess he was asking for it, though. Not like "asking for it" asking for it, but like he was just done with this little tableau and he knew that bringing up the thing at the middle -- of the show, of the family, of Ray's craziness -- was the quickest way there. The boys stare and try to compute this new information, but it's mostly too big to go inside their heads, so they just feel weird and bad for everybody.
Bunchy "Welp. All in all this was a pretty good day. I thought I would be sad if he died, but now that I am looking at his dead body that we all murdered, I feel kind of great. I think I'm going to get a haircut and start tucking my shirt in."
MICKEY
Mickey "I love dancing with you to old people music! Toward the bedroom."
Claudette "I should hit the road."
Mickey "I bought you this watch. It is made of solid gold, just like your butt."
Claudette "I don't need this because we have phones now on planet Earth, but it's a nice gift. It's always nice to see you and hear you talk about my butt."
I can't wait to find out if Mickey is actually how he seems or if there is a snake in there! And actually, this show could go five seasons and never tell us for sure, and then like at the end of the fifth season, boom comes the snake. You know what I mean? And you wouldn't even feel that surprised, just like, "Dang it Mickey. Thanks for all the times you weren't evil for this whole show, but I guess it had to happen."
HOME
Ray and Daryll toss the body into the construction site for Ruth Goodman's foundation -- which, unless they get their money back, will never be built and is thus a weird place to dump a body -- and Terry pulls a blanket over Bunchy, who you know is sleeping like a little angel after the day he's had. Just plumb tuckered out.
The house is empty when Ray gets home, because Avi has taken the kids to a hotel in Malibu (per Abby, of course). Ray's tickled when Conor asks if he can become Jewish, and then he hangs up so he can get started on being real drunk.
Abby "So I thought we should have a moment alone to talk about why you kidnapped and murdered multiple priests."
Ray "I mean, do the math."
Abby "He really is the one that molested Bunchy?"
Ray "Keep doing the math..."
Abby "Oh, shit. Obviously you got molested too. Jesus, I am unobservant. Want a hug at this very inappropriate time?"
Ray "No. Also, you're a cheater. I am giving you thing you always want, a front-row seat to my core issues and fears, and you're making it all about you and our marriage and trying to touch my body."
Abby "Maybe I'll just stomp out of here like always!"
Ray "Maybe I don't care because I'm more interested in getting real drunk right now instead of playing Amateur Therapy Hour? I barely even remember my childhood, and now a huge flaming piece of sex wreckage has just dropped through the ceiling of my brain-house."
Abby "I wish I was equipped to deal with this in a sensitive and compassionate way, but I tend to think of comforting my loved ones as an invitation to climb into their bodies through their mouths."
Ray "I get it and we can do that later, but right now I have to go real crazy. The sooner I dive in, the sooner I can come up for air."
MEANWHILE
Frances "So how did it go with your priest you guys kidnapped?"
Terry "Oh, he is at the hospital receiving the finest care."
Frances "What hospital exactly?"
Terry "Saint, um, George? Glass?"
Frances "That is not a real hospital."
Terry "I am not a real liar."
It's pretty smart that they have her be a nurse, because like no matter how morally wobbly she is about her marriage -- and even that, she had a decent personal narrative for it -- but of course this thing of "you let a man die in front of you" is something she can be black-and-white about. I mean, at this point who gives a shit about their doomed love itself, but they're awesome, separately and together, so it's nice to give a fresh coat of paint to them.
On the other hand, guess who just found himself in Van Miller's Lair of Justice? That's right, FBI Frank, who presumes that Ray got impatient and murdered Van in some kind of Shakespeare-ironic crossed-wires way that tragically now makes them both look worse. We know that Mickey killed him, but we could never have figured out the whole connection between him and Sean and Mickey that got there, so it's a problem, but -- like Terry and Frances -- probably more like a Season Two problem.
WEEK
Finale time! Is Mickey a monster? Will Ray have his vengeance? Is Bunchy done being crazy? Will somebody get rid of Sully already? Is Terry gonna make up his mind about Frances or what? What's left to deal with, really: Father Danny's dead, Van Miller's dead, Sean Walker's dead, everybody is dead. I think it's going to be okay. Ray versus Sully, presumably to the death, for the soul of Los Angeles, and only Mickey as the swing vote. Hmm. Not really quite as optimistic when you type it out. Still, the show's a pretty hopeful one, so we'll see.
JACOB CLIFTON is a freelance writer and critic based in Austin, Texas. He currently recaps Ray Donovan, The Good Wife and Homeland for TWoP. Jacob can be found online at jacobclifton.com, Twitter, and Facebook, as well as a regular column for Tor.com, Geek Love.