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Previously. Pride Weekend; Mike'd never been; Brian gave him shit about it, yada; Melanie's biker mama of an ex-girlfriend showed up; Lindsay was not thrilled; Ted waved a little tiny flag around like a doofus and managed to get pity-fucked, blah; Justin ran into Chris Hobbes; Michael dressed as a woman so he could march with his mom, proving...well, absolutely nothing, and then kissed Awful Andrew full on the lips.
Neon. HDGBs keep the beat and keep it strong.
Drag King night at Woody's. Three women dressed like Elvis croon his classic tune "Follow that Dream." "The King," get it? That's about as subtle as we'll get all evening. Wow, nice costume job. I totally thought they were gay men at first. The Usual Suspects share a table in the middle of the room. Mel and L. are wearing men's shirts and hats, and Melanie's in Lindsay's lap. Emmett's dancing right next to the table, 'cause he's fabulous! Brian's downing shots, and sneers, "Since when did Woody's become a cunt-ry club?" Melanie snaps, "Since you're here?" Brian rolls his eyes, because that comeback sounded lame to him, too. Justin wants to get another round of drinks, but Brian reminds him that he starts art school in the morning. Brian smirks, "One minute he's in a coma, and the next, he's going to college." Melanie winks, "You gotta follow that dream!" Emmett spies a dream he wouldn't mind following! So, how come when it's any other night at Woody's, you never see women, but the guys show up on Lesbian Night? And, okay, these singers suck. And they're making their point and shoving it down my throat, already, so, oh my God, end this scene so I don't have to keep rewinding and hearing them suck. Shut up, sucky Elvis impersonators! Lindsay smiles, "All my life, I've had one dream: to fall in love, get married, and have a baby." Mike says that two out of three isn't bad. Lindsay's all, actually, it's three out of three. Emmett, of course, shrieks with glee. Why did Mel and L. keep it to themselves this long? Brian, who's really drunk, raises his glass and toasts, "May you come to your senses before it's too late." He tries to clink glasses with Emmett, who frowns and pulls his glass back. Brian shrugs and downs his. Emmett thinks it's so exciting: "Everyone's dreams are coming true!" Emmett asks Mike what his dream is. Mike grumps, "My dream is to one day know what my dream is." Brian slurs, "Dreaming is for people who are asleep. I'd rather be awake. And fucking." I'd rather be asleep. And done with this recap.
Mike pulls out his cell phone so he can get Ted down to the bar. Brian sighs, "And I was having such a good time." Oh, and it shows. Melanie and Lindsay exposition, for those of you who are just joining us, that Teddy's been really depressed since he got fired from his job. Lindsay politely refers to it as "the incident." Brian snorts, "I wouldn't exactly call shooting a load off in front of my boss an 'incident.'" Humph. What would you call having sex with a subordinate employee in your office? A coffee break? Anyway, Ted's not picking up the phone. Emmett worries that Ted might do something drastic: "I mean, he could be lying in bed right now. Dead." Nah, he's too much of a masochist to kill himself. He'd rather live to suffer, and suffer to live.