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Jim Dale makes us cry when he tells us all about Ned's various childhood tragedies learning that what goes up must come down, or something like that -- you know, yadda yadda fresh starts and how they can sometimes backfire.
In the present day, Chuck's loving her new -door lifestyle; Olive's making confessions to Pigby; and Emerson takes a new case from the Mrs. Heaps, played by the cutecutecute Rachel Harris, whose daughter, Sweet Nicky, appears to have run away from home to live with a dude (in a van (down by the river)) who is "in entertainment." Yeah -- guy's a mime. And he's dead. And he reveals that the missing girl has run away with "some clown" named Jacky Johnny to join the Circus of Fun. They meet some interesting looking people and have some interesting conversations at the circus, but I'm damned if I can understand a lot of it, because the soundtrack is too loud. FOR REAL, I am about to whip out an EAR HORN.
Basically, Sweet Nicky seems to have disappeared with Jacky Johnny in a clown car. Ah, but when the boys track down said car, it is merely and hilariously full of clowns -- dead ones. Did Nicky do it? Emerson, whose memories of his own lost daughter are riling him to action to find Nicky, is determined that she's innocent and swears to find her. The gang returns to the circus where they get too close to the truth and are attacked by a human cannonball! They find Sweet Nicky just in time for her to be snatched again by a nefarious anti-union acrobat. Heroically, Ned saves the day and Nicky is reunited with her mother.
Meanwhile, Swoosie Kurtz and Kristin Chenoweth are stealing this show right out from under everyone as they bicker back and forth at the convent where Lily has gone to keep an eye on Olive's secret-keeping. -- Al Lowe
Want more? The full recap starts right below!The enchanting Jim Dale sweeps us up into our weekly fairy tale: "It's been 76 days, two hours and 37 minutes since young Ned's father deposited him at the Longborough School for Boys, and this, young Ned felt, was long enough." Like a woebegone Christopher Robin and his faithful companion Pooh, Ned and Digby, wander through the forest until they happen upon a class of kindergarteners, from a nearby school -- wearing butterfly wings. Their beautiful young teacher, Miss Moss, believed that every child was a butterfly at heart and her students knew that every caterpillar eventually learned how to fly. Miss Moss tries to reach a bird nest set high up in a tree, to show the contents to her young charges. Wanting to help this happy group, Ned climbs up to discover three dead yellow canaries, which the narrator informs us are dead thanks to environmental toxins. Ned, deciding that new beginnings are a wonderful thing, revives the birds before the children can see their corpses. As the canaries pass the minute mark of their second lives, Ned knows something else will have to die, and assumes those something elses will be small, hidden woodland creatures. (Like Thumper, and Bambi, and Flower?) Miss Moss decides to show Ned their class project. She lifts up something that looks all too much like a covered bird cage, probably because it's exactly that. Poor Ned's face falls, as have all three of the red-breasted woodpecker chicks the kindergarteners had nursed back to health, and were ready to set free. Horrified at the fruits of his "gift," Ned (with Digby) departs, as the children cry. Ned, of course, is already too broken to do so. I wrap him in cotton batten, take him to my house, and feed him warm soup and pastries and he lives happily ever after, all right? Because the stories of Ned's childhood are too sad to accept, so I can't hear you Jim Dale. La la la la la la. La. Mr. Dale is as harsh as he is lovely and continues to break my heart. "As the boy and his dog returned from whence they came, young Ned concluded that new beginnings only lead to painful ends." I think my soup plan was kinder.
Twenty years later, the boy is our pie maker who is in love -- but Charlotte "Chuck Charles has already been gone from his apartment two days, 10 hours and 28 minutes. "Whilst Chuck had called it 'apartment sitting' the pie maker sensed a new beginning beginning." Ned and Chuck meet up in the hallway outside their apartments. Chuck, as usual is thrilled to be alive, to smell eggs cooking, toast cooking, and seeing dappled sunshine, and she's spectacularly obtuse to Ned's feelings. Ned, as usual, is hiding those feelings, however ineptly, as well as the fact that he's unable to sleep now that she's gone, and pretends to be happy in a way that fools exactly no one. I'm going to need a bigger soup pot.
Meanwhile, At Emerson Cod's P.I. Office, the phones are ringing off the hook. Georgeann Heaps, played by Rachael Harris, walks in without knocking and immediately sets Emerson's teeth on edge. He softens when she reveals she is looking for her missing daughter, Nikki, because Emerson is still longing to find his own little girl. Emerson takes the case. Of course, Nikki and Li'l Gum Shoe aren't the only ones missing. Jim Dale reminds us of Olive's world class "tanty" and that Aunt Lily, who's not so much Chuck's aunt as her mother, whisked Olive off to a country convent. There, we see Olive giving one confection of a confession about all the secrets she's kept secret. Thankfully, she's giving her confession to Pigby, who'll likely keep the secret because, as Jim Dale tells us, "Pigby enjoyed the warbling sounds that the nice-smelling thing that fed him -- made." Mommy Dearest's dearest little girl Diana Scarwid has grown up into a grown up Mother Superior, wearing a habit I'd like to foster. She calls Olive along to Middle Midmorning Prayers in the Chapel.
Meanwhile, Olive is missing from and desperately missed at the Pie Hole. Emerson holds his coffee cup up as Chuck passes by, and passes by she does. When he complains to Ned, Ned reminds him that Chuck is just filling in. Emerson asks, "When does employee of the mouth come back?" but Ned doesn't know. Chuck accuses Ned of missing Olive, and of course she does, too. Ned is bound to develop whiplash from turning to look every time the shop door opens, but it's not Olive for whom he's looking. He's terrified that Chuck's aunts will return. When Chuck reminds him that her aunts' appearance at the shop was highly unusual, Ned reminds Chuck that so is being dead but not dead, and Emerson adds an 'Amen' because he cannot resist grumping at either Chuck or the fact of her second life. Ned continues, saying that the previously-but-no-longer-dead are often greeted by mobs with pitchforks and torches. Chuck dons her sunglasses because that will surely disguise her from all who knew her, particularly the women who reared her. When I forget to take off my sunglasses around them, my family calls 9-1-1 and reports me to missing persons as a person who is missing. Chuck guesses Ned didn't sleep well, so Ned lies. "It was deep and perfect like a nap in the backseat of a car after a day at the beach."
Any Ned and Charlotte tension, romance or romantic tension is too much for Emerson, so he changes the subject by asking if anyone would like to make any money, the splitting of which with Chuck, being one of the reasons he's not thrilled by her second life in the first place. He gives them the lowdown on the sweet Nikki Heaps case, and explains he's already talked to her best friend Randi Jean, who knows nothing. Chuck points out that the girl's unlikely to talk to a big P.I. about the case and rat out her friend.
We cut to an attitudinous Randi Jean sitting with Chuck in a booth at the Pie Hole. "I'm not going to tell you anything about Nikki, okay? I've made up my mind. You should know, my dad says my mind is like an old refrigerator in a deserted lot. If a secret out there playing around climbs in, it ain't never getting out." I know a lot of people like that; sadly it's not just confined to secrets. We pull back from the scene to the counter, where Emerson declares to Ned that Randi Jean won't be telling Chuck anything. They need to get some leads, quickly. Still distracted by his own fears, Ned says that people don't run away for no reason. Emerson disagrees, so Ned says, "You don't think it's curious that Olive left in the middle of the night for no reason, because I'm curious. I'm very curious." Emerson says, "'Curious' is Tighty-Whitey for 'angry' and you ain't angry 'cause Olive left. You're angry 'cause DeadGirl up and moved her ass to the empty apartment." I am a tighty-whitey and I do believe I'll be adopting 'curious' from here on out. Thank you, Emerson. Ned tells him he's wrong and Emerson scoffs. "Tuh-huh. Person gets a little sip of fresh start, they wanna start drinking it from the hose. Today, an apartment across the hall and tomorrow Paris, and a croissant maker named Philippe." Way to cheer Ned up and get his mind back on the case, Cod. As Ned tells Emerson that Chuck's not like that, Chuck walks over with the information she wrangled from Randi Jean: "Nikki's living with her boyfriend in a van (down by the river) out on Rustic Road. His name's Rocky." She recounts for the men how she got Randi Jean to spill. Each time she played good cop and Nikki seemed onto her, she'd play even gooder cop, 'til Nikki spilled like an overflowing bucket. Rocky is in "Entertainment" (he's a mime). Nikki wants to be a big star, but her mom won't take her seriously -- hence her cohabitation with Rocky Baselli. Down by the river, or perhaps a marsh, lake, pond, or some body of water that varies in shape, size and name throughout the episode, Ned, Chuck and Emerson, approach Rocky's van. It's zebra-striped and has a sticker that reads, "Mimes do it with imagination." Inside, Rocky's corpse lies to a pillow that reads, "Silence is golden." Emerson says he should have a sticker that reads, "If this van's a rockin' I'm being murdered." No, I don't think that's funny either, but Chi hits it out of the part 99 times out of a hundred, so we'll let it slide, after all, he didn't write it.
Ned revives Rocky, who answers their questions in pantomime. If I were Ned, Rocky wouldn't have lasted five seconds. Anyhow, when asked about Nikki, he mimes that she stole his heart and broke it. When Ned asks Rocky if Nikki killed him, Rocky mimes some more, so Emerson cocks his gun, because that's the international sign for cut the crap. Rocky starts talking. He thinks someone poisoned his make-up, and now I notice all the boils around the grease paint, and they're disgusting. Rocky doesn't know who and says Nikki is now with some clown, who is actually a clown. Rocky and Nikki met up with him his jackass buddies at some disco, and the day she said she wanted a fresh start. Poor Ned looks at Chuck with his eyes wide and mouth open, but she doesn't see. Rocky continues that Nikki went off to join the traveling circus -- the Circus of Fun, for which Nikki's clown and his jackasses clown around. Rocky hands Chuck a note for Nikki and Chuck asks Rocky to do that trapped in a glass box bit that mimes do. Ned kills him soon after, but it could have been sooner. I'm just saying.
At the pie hole, Chuck is all but telling customers to shut their pie holes and otherwise alienating them. Her attitude seems to stem largely from the fact that Emerson and Ned are leaving her behind to watch the shop during their stop on the investigation. Chucks wonders why Ned can't stay behind to watch the shop since there's no dead body to wake. Emerson cringes. "Nice! Anyone not hear that?" Ned and Chuck bicker. She wants to know if he's mad at her. He says he's not, and that he'll let her come time. She thanks him for the "permission" in a way that doesn't sound too grateful. When Ned tells Chuck she doesn't need his permission, she says, "Thank you for the permission not to need your permission." Heh. I would think that Ned moved out on Chuck (or possibly that they're already married), if I didn't already know better. Emerson says, "It's a traveling circus, not a 'wait around for you two to work all your junk out' circus." When Ned says he'll be back soon, Chuck says she'll be there. Forever. Sheesh, Chuck, what happened to the smell of eggs and toast cooking, and dappled sunshine? I think this is the same day. You're in the same orange clothes, Chuck. Emerson says, "That was er...curious." He's terribly pleased with himself. I suppose I should ask him to join our club.
Jim Dale tells us, "As the pie maker wondered if Chuck moving out was making him passive or aggressive or both, Olive wondered when her new beginning would feel like it had begun." Mother Superior comes to Olive's cell to announce Late Mid-Afternoon Prayers. Olive asks, "Mother Superior, does something ever happen -- where you think everything is kind of blah -- blah brick walls, blah faux Shaker furniture, blah good works, and then 'SHAZAM!' all the little boring stuff suddenly becomes full of meaning?" Mother Superior smiles with not a little superiority. "You mean like an epiphany?" Olive says, "Bingo!" Mother Superior says, "Not very often. It takes time to fill a life with meaning. Our days here are not easy, Sister Olive, but you will find that with hard work and personal sacrifice, you will strip away everything from your old life, and start anew." Olive pretends she's thrilled in a way that fools no one. Mother Superior reminds her not to be late for prayers and takes her leave. Another nun passes by, and Olive hails her to be her Chapel buddy (and the Chenoweth is so cute it is to die). Lily, in a stunning turquoise eye patch that, of course, matches her habit, reveals herself, shushes Olive, cautions that she can't be seen, and asks Olive to meet her in the Chapel for Early Mid-Middle Night Prayer.
Ned and Emerson arrive at the Circus of Fun, which doesn't seem so. Emerson says, "This ain't no circus. A circus is supposed to smell like popcorn and cotton candy, not wet sawdust and underarm. This is a damn freak show." Cue the bearded ladies and other freaks. When Ned wonders why sweet Nikki Heaps would want to run away -- there, Emerson says, "People decide they want to leave and start over. A switch flips; a fuse blows; and then everything's gotta go. You can't have half a revolution." Without turning toward Ned, Emerson adds, "And don't be looking at me with those psycho-babbly eyes, like this case is something personal to me, or something." Ned says there are no eyes, but I saw eyes. Didn't you see eyes? I even saw a hint of a smile. From Ned. And Chuck wasn't around. They're greeted by a smoking (as in cigarette, not as in hot, although lit cigarettes are terribly hot, please be careful) acrobat, with a French accent, who is hanging upside down off of something we never see, and refusing Ned and Emerson admittance to the...er...further back part of the circus lot. He calls them stubs (as in civilians -- because civilians buy tickets which are torn into stubs...) Emerson explains that they're investigating Nikki's disappearance and Rocky's murder, and when the acrobat refuses to cooperate, Emerson says, "Have you seen the separate police lock up they have for cocky young acrobats, because I haven't." The acrobat says, "I'm upside down, mon ami. I'm not foolish." Au contraire, mon frère. Ned notes Nikki was last seen with the clowns and the cocky young acrobat directs our heroes to Senor Arnaud, but cautions them that there are two things clowns make around there -- balloon animals and enemies.
Arnaud is in the office, which is a bright red trailer, because this isn't just a circus, it's a circus on Pushing Daisies and without color we would shrivel and die. Arnaud claims not to remember the girl, bad-mouths the clowns, which granted, I'm all for because clowns are evil and must be stopped, and gives a lot of non-answer answers in general, but every time he fails to answer something we know he should know, his secretary snort-giggles. This is not lost on Ned and Emerson. After Arnaud leaves his trailer, Ned goes back in, pausing only to allow a little person to pull a cannon across his path -- from the depths of the cannon, a drunken voice is singing "100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall," and is only on number 98. Ned re-enters the office trailer, pretending he thinks he's left his keys. Miss Dijon is onto him, and when he says, "One more thing," she calls him on the fact that the keys were never the thing. She tells Ned she didn't like Nikki and neither did anyone else who met her. "I say she deserves what she gets now." Ned says, "And what does she deserve?" Miss Dijon is a helpful sort so she explains, "What she gets." Jim Dale tells us our pie maker got the information he needed, but not the information he wanted. Have I been drinking? Ned exits and explains to Emerson that Nikki was apprenticed to the head clown named Jackie Johnny who, according to Miss Dijon, was a real lousy, low-down..." a flaming hoop is pushed in front of our heroes, and once it's passed, Emerson says, "I've never heard you say those words." Ned says, "I'm just repeating them." Hee. Adorable, but what the flaming hoop is Ned talking about? Miss Dijon didn't say any of that and it didn't seem like Ned spent any extra time with her. Ned goes on to report that Miss Dijon says Nikki left with Jackie Johnny after the show last night, and no one's seen them since." Emerson says they need to find this Jackie Johnny fast, and I rewind to find where I lost the conversation, so I can recap it for you, and it's not there, so I can't; thus I won't.
Now the show is teasing me with Jim Dale's narration so I'll forget all about that forgotten conversation. "In less than 16 seconds, the Dead Girl who was not dead would be involved in the smallest of ironic coincidences, for just as she said to herself, 'I wish I were where the action were at', she was where it were at." Jim Dale, you do not play fairly. As Chuck closes up shop at the Pie Hole pie shop, a customer arrives at the Pie Hole doorstop. Chuck hears the bells on the door, says that she's sorry but the shop is closing early, and looks to the door to see Aunt Vivian entering. Fortunately for Chuck, or at least for her secret, Vivian's parasol is larger than the doorframe and she's too preoccupied with entering the shop to see who's running it. Chuck makes a running dive over the counter, taking out some china in her wake. She drops to the floor, undoubtedly to pick up her very own jaw, which surely dropped there first and we go to commercial so that we can again breathe by the time the story resumes.
Vivian announces to the unseen voice of her undead niece that she's an acquaintance of the pie maker, and if it's not too much trouble, she would like a triple-berry to go. She asks if the voice (of our Chuck, who is her Chuck) is new to the shop. The voice grunts, "Uh huh," and Chuck looks as if she's about to cry. Vivian explains that their friend Olive used to deliver the pies to them -- that they always lifted their spirits (which Chuck knows, because she dosed them with a secret dose of spirit-lifter). She asks the voice if anyone has yet heard from Olive, and the voice grunts, "Uh uh," and I'm pretty sure Chuck is crying now. Vivian turns from the counter and explains that her sister is once again gone over night and that the emptiness at their house is like a ringing Chinese gong (which goes well with her ensemble!), and that pie is the only thing that can muffle it. Chuck peeks over the counter and looks at Vivian, the way Ned looks at Chuck, longing to reach out to her, but knowing she can't. She boxes up a triple berry for Vivian while she's not looking, but she can't dose it, so pie alone will have to assuage Vivian's loneliness. Vivian thanks the voice for the pie and for being a kind listener, leaves money for the pie, and exits the shop, with Chuck looking on in tears.
Meanwhile, Emerson and Ned are driving down the road, and Ned is expositing for us. "If Miss Dijon is right..." oh great, he's recapping the conversation that never happened, I hope Dale's at the ready to make me forget about that, again. "...this is the road she saw Jackie Johnny and Nikki take, and they weren't running away; it dead-ends in a mile." Emerson says, "I don't like this road. It has a kick out the window and run because they're about to cap your ass kind of feel to it." Clever writers, having Chi McBride pinch hit for Dale to distract me. Well, played. I'm already accepting that their conversation took place off screen, even though it wasn't filmed that way. Ned starts explaining that he's not upset Chuck moved out. Emerson knows this. "You're upset she's not upset she moved out." Ned wants be happy too, but he misses her. He starts to give Emerson too much information about conducting a love affair in which the lovers cannot touch, confessing he's even built contraptions. This is too much for Emerson. "Do you understand how a head works? Do you -- because every time you say something, I've got to think it." Thank you, Emerson. He asks Ned not to tell him what they do together, and Ned says, "There's a weird mask." Emerson says, "Please, now I'm begging you to stop." Ned clarifies, "No, there's a weird clown mask, back there in the bushes." All clown items are weird, Ned. People really underestimate the creepiness. Ned and Emerson drive back to the spot, get out, and find car tracks, and a clown wig, which they bet is Jackie Johnny's, floating in the pond. Soon, local law enforcement is towing a car out of the soup. A clown car. Our good friend the coroner is there to oversee the recovery of the dead, which is a good thing because there's a whole murder of drowned clowns in that downed and drowned clown car. What do you call a car full of dead clowns at the bottom of the pond? A good start. So now our dynamic duo still have a missing girl, plus there's a mime-and-clown killer on the loose.