We open in the hotel, where the remaining boys are saying generic things about how now that Karen's gone, the game's really starting. Ken is losing track of what game this is, though, because he's now concerned with watching his back and being careful who he talks to. I'd say he can talk to whoever he wants. As long as he stops shrieking at people to shut up, everything will be fine.
At the runway, Heidi tells everyone they have the morning off to have a "relaxing, Southern-style brunch." Then she leaves. Everyone is worried, presumably because they don't know how to make a dress out of bacon. They all file into an empty restaurant and cautiously eat some delicious food. It looks good! And they chat amiably about upcoming weddings and old challenges, which is fun. I like seeing the designers actually enjoying each other's company. Jeremy reminds us that Helen has won three challenges, and then he sneers about her top being "quite horrible." But he admits the jacket was great. They start guessing about what the challenge could be, because obviously the brunch is going to be relevant somehow.
And then Tim Gunn walks in. The point of the brunch was to make them feel lovely, civilized, and relaxed, which are adjectives that also describe the woman they'll be designing for: "A modern Southern woman." Ken thinks this challenge is ideal for him, which he figures means he'll be going home. Ken knows how these shows work. Tim throws out more guidelines: vibrantly, expressively, fashionably put-together, uses accessories, knows how to use color, and wears things with feminine details. Helen is worried. They can make a day look or an evening look. It's a one-day challenge, because they pretty much all are. Now sketch!
Ken's doing a floor-length maxi-dress. Alexander's not happy with his pants/jacket combo. Dom's from New Orleans, which is on the water, so she's doing a blue dress. Bradon's doing a "day dress with a sexy neckline." Jeremy wants to do a tailored jacket, but he's concerned about avoiding "mother of the bride."
On the ride to Mood, Ken declines to tell his van about The Southern Woman. Alexander suggests that women are outside of Ken's sphere of knowledge.
At Mood, Swatch is flopped down on the floor right between Tim and the designers. Swatch seems like a fairly relaxed dog. Dom is looking for silks with big prints. After discarding one that looks like a cow, she chooses one that's kind of striped. But not big parallel lines; more like a white background that's had black paint dripped down it to make narrow, uneven stripes. Kate wants a solid print with bright colors, and she settles on an orange chiffon. She has the sense to check with Tim to see if he thinks it's a good idea. I didn't think he gave advice at this stage, but he says he trusts her with prints. Bradon looks for some bright madras plaid, which sounds awful. Ken was considering a silk print, but that section is already overflowing with designers, so he switches to a solid eggplant. Alexander doesn't seem to have a real plan, but he grabs some madras plaid. So when Bradon has his plaid, he realizes he's not the only plaid person. And everyone's in the same colors. More plaid-controversy!
Time to sew! The "Modern Southern Woman" is also the "Belk Girl." Belk is this season's Accessory Wall, and nobody's heard of it. Alexander doesn't know what they wear in the South, but he likes his fabric. Helen asks if Modern Southern Women go to a lot of cotillions, and I am 100% onboard with Ken's eyeroll. Helen's making a sunflower yellow dress and she's going to layer lace over it, which I worry will look like actual sunflowers. Sunflowers are huge. She should aim for daisies. Tim comes in to introduce a Belk Vice President named "John Thomas." John has some "extra dazzle": whatever wins will be sold at Belk. Everyone dutifully pretends to be impressed.
Alexandria is trying to act confident, but she is worried Alexander and Bradon are also despairing. Ken and Dom giggle together about how badly everyone is misconstruing the South. Ken: "Ain't nobody in Alabama walking around in plaid dresses." Dom agrees, "They're not farm boys. They're real people who live in cities." Jeremy joins them to talk about how great Belk is, so Dom goes off to get to work. She's considering not using her print.
Alexander asks Ken how Southern girls wear their hair, and Ken answers, "Like...normal girls?" He's really trying not to yell at these dummies. Alexander claims he's doing a Steel Magnolias thing, and Ken makes a great pun that won't translate into writing. It requires pronouncing "still" like "steel."
Tim comes back in for his check-in. He asks Alexander if he's doing an evening dress, and Alexander rambles about how it's not for a picnic in the forest. Tim makes fun of him a little for thinking that's what Southern women do. Tim likes Bradon's madras, which is very similar to his own tie. Bradon's dress is coming along, and is mostly dress-shaped already. Bradon thinks it looks too "fifties," and Tim says not to worry too much about what the judges will think. Tim is concerned about the orange-and-black combination that Justin is doing, because that's kind of been claimed by Halloween. In his opinion, the orange on its own will read as "coral," but with the black, it turns into orange. Justin is concerned that he only has two yards of the coral. He could make a cocktail bikini!
Kate has an orange dress with a print that looks like giant strings of beads. Ken was going to do a dress that goes from day to night, but the eggplant fabric screams "night." Tim is impressed with Ken's confidence and leaves him to it. Ken definitely seems to have a plan. Jeremy is happy to be doing a tailored red jacket, although that's kind of the extent of his plan. He might do a dress under it, and Tim thinks that could work. Tim starts to recommend against some red shoes, and Jeremy claims they're only there to mislead the other designers. Helen's imagining an outdoors party with champagne, although she's not sure they drink champagne in the South. I agree with Ken; she's being kind of patronizing here. With the lace over the yellow dress, I think it looks like bathtub flowers. Alexander says it's like the sixties threw up. Dom is trying to avoid overdesigning, and Tim thinks she might be underdesigning. She just wants to make sure it's not too busy.
Alexandria has tried many different things. Her fabric is crazy. This description will hit a small segment of the viewership of this show, but...okay, it's got a white background, and there are islands of blue plaid. The islands are irregularly shaped, and it looks very much like the scene in Tron where Flynn is sent into the digital realm. With the shapes and the grids. There. Fans of Tron and Project Runway know exactly what I'm talking about. Tim thinks it looks "Bohemian" or "Southern Navajo." She also has some weird trim that Tim hates. He kindly tells her, "It's hideous." What makes Tim great is that he can say that and still seem kind. He also warns her she could go home.
After the commercial, Tim talks Alexandria down from the ledge, and he distracts her to a different plaid. She complains that people don't like black. She only wants to work in black. She's got a black cloud of doom over her. Tim leaves.
The models are here already! We're only thirty minutes into a ninety minute episode. There's a frenzy of fitting. Or as much fitting as people can do with half-finished clothes. Justin is giddy about having a dress that has only two pattern pieces. The pieces look like fractals.
Ken sneaks off to video-chat with his mother, Sonya. She asks if "that other side" has come out, and he admits that it's happened a few times. Then he gets back to work. This seems like a segment that won't appear on the sixty-minute rerun of this episode.
Back to work. Bradon isn't sure if his dress is going to reach the floor in the back. He's draping a dress on the mannequin, pinning it where he wants it to go, then running it through the sewing machine. Then he's repeating. Ken says it looks like a Harriet Tubman dress. He says that to us, not to Bradon, because he's not a complete jerk. Alexander tells us that Jeremy and Justin are wildly behind, which he also is. And Dom says she's nowhere near done, but the day's over.
The morning! The models will be here soon for hair and makeup! And here they are. Kate loves the way her dress looks on her model. I do not like the sleeves that appear to have been flown in from a completely different dress. Dom is running out of time. The hair and makeup go past without anything really interesting happening. It's hair and makeup. Big deal.
Alexandria covers her model in accessories on the theory that at least she'll be as Belk as humanly possible. Sure. If there's a guest judge from Belk, at least he'll see something he likes. Alexander loves his dress. Jeremy thinks his dress is stunning, and it certainly fits well. Alexander thinks it looks old. Dom thinks Bradon's plaid dress looks like a tablecloth. Kate doesn't like the fit on Ken's dress. Dom is frantically finishing her hem when Tim comes in and announces time. She pushes the deadline a little bit to finish the fitting.
It's time for the runway show. Except we're not even halfway through the episode, so shenanigans are on the horizon. The judges are Heidi, Zac, Nina, and Stacy Keibler, current host of Supermarket Superstar and former WWE lady wrestler. Also something about George Clooney. Oh, and John Thomas of Belk is also here.
Ken's dress is a full-length eggplant number. It's nice, but I'm sick of the racerback thing that has dominated this season. Helen's dress looks like a crocheted tablecloth. Justin's dress is a knee-length coral that impresses Dom. Alexander's dress is also a little tablecloth-y. Alexandria's dress is neither stunning not awful. It's kind of see-through, though, which is a problem around the legs. Bradon's dress looks pretty cool to me, because it hangs in an interesting way. Ken takes a moment to tell us that the Modern Southern Woman doesn't wear plaid. Dom's dress is blue and green. That's all there is to it: a blue bottom and a green top. Jeremy's jacket looks like it's from the 1980s. That might not be as modern as he was hoping for. I like the dress, though. Kate's dress is a little odd, but it looks like it was on purpose. It's pretty short.
Heidi calls Helen, Alexandria, and Justin forward. They're safe. In the back, Helen's mad that she's not in the top.
That leaves Alexander, Dom, Kate, Ken, Jeremy, and Bradon. Here come their models!
Bradon's first, and he used cotton shirting. He claims the bottom of his dress is modern, and Heidi agrees. Ken can't believe what he's hearing. Zac thinks madras has a risk of tableclothiess, but he finds this dress very Southern. I think this is where Ken realizes the judges don't have any better an idea of Modern Southern Women than the other designers do. Do you think Heidi Klum spends a lot of time in Mississippi? Nina is very pleased. Stacy says this dress makes her happy. John calls it "a modern version of country club," and Ken's eyes are about to roll right out the top of his head.
Jeremy's . None of the judges think it looks modern. Zac doesn't even think it's "madame," because that would be positive. He calls it a "casino jacket." And he thinks the dress is like the first dress Jeremy learned to sew. Stacy finds the length of the dress a little weird. Nina hates the print. John dislikes it in a generic way because everyone else already picked apart every specific thing.
Ken calls his color "vibrant," which is one of the key adjectives from the brunch. Clever! Zac isn't excited by the dress. He thinks it's kind of a "beautifully-cut formal nightgown." Heidi says it's unflattering and calls Ken out for giving her a look. He does not respond. He's giving the thousand-yard stare and won't answer. Nina calls it safe, and Ken says where he's from, people don't dress like these crazy dresses. John thinks it reads a little bridesmaids-y. Heidi asks Ken how he feels, and he says, "It's not important right now." Good for him! But Heidi keeps poking, and he says he expected the judges to want plaid, which is not what he sees at home. I think Ken's doing a great job of keeping quiet here. I mean, he's rolling his eyes a lot, but that'll happen sometimes.
Kate's . Stacy thinks it's a great use of color, and Nina says it's a wonderful print. Heidi thinks the model looks pregnant. The model is 5'11", and Heidi asks, "Who's five-eleven?!" Well, Stacy Keibler is. But I guess that's a coincidence. Zac thinks Kate knows her customer. John says it looks like something they could sell. Mission accomplished!
John likes Dom's dress, although he doesn't think it's an evening dress. Heidi doesn't think it's fashion forward. Stacy thinks Dom scaled back too much. Nina says it looks like hospital scrubs. Zac wants Oomph.
Alexander says that plaid says "Southern" to him, and Ken rolls his eyes again. Heidi says she'd wear that dress. John thinks it's fun. Stacy is pleased by the volume on the bottom.
That's enough of the designers. They go to the back room, and Dom wails about how she should have used the print she bought. Ken is entertaining as he describes the looks he and the judges were giving each other.
Time for close-up looks. Tim tells the judges that the designers really struggled with the customer. They seem sad as they examine Dom's dress. Zac claims that Jeremy's outfit looks like "a college fashion show in a non-Metropolitan city." John doesn't like the fit or the print. Zac puts the jacket on Heidi, and she does look very Flight Attendant. She does a spiel about where the exits are, and everyone laughs. Except Tim, because he has too much dignity. Ken's fabric is very heavy, which bothers them. Heidi is the only one who thinks Kate's dress is unflattering. John thinks Alexander's dress is "a modern interpretation of an old silhouette." Zac likes the fitting on the bust. Heidi loves how Bradon's dress is very short in one area and very long in another.
We see actual deliberations this time, because it's time for shenanigans. Heidi wants to give the bottom three a chance to change it up.
So the designers are brought back out. Heidi goes into her usual script, but then she tells them they didn't understand the challenge. But first, Bradon wins! He's happy. The other designers that are out there are not. Alexander and Kate are also in. So Dom, Ken, and Jeremy are still there. In the back room, Helen speculates that all of the bottom three might be out. Instead, Heidi tells the bottom three, they get to go back to the workroom. Right now. They'll get an extra hour, an assistant of their choice, and access to whatever fabric is currently up there. I think that benefits Dom the most, because she's the one with the clearest direction: add a print. Ken doesn't want to admit a mistake. Off they go!
They go into the back room and share the news, and everyone's shocked. Dom recruits Helen, Jeremy picks Alexander, and Ken picks Kate. He explains that Kate sews quickly, which is a great reason to pick her. His plan is to remake his dress a little, but not completely start over. Dom pulls out her print. Alexander reminds Jeremy that the judges hated the jacket, so Jeremy decides they're starting over. Completely. In an hour. The new plan is to make a shorter version of Jeremy's bias dress out of some of the unused prints. Alexander says the goal is to keep it clean.
Ken and Kate decide to make the dress shorter, and their model immediately stands right to the mannequin so they can see how short it's going. Ken is consciously going quite short here. They're also going to bring in the waist. Helen drapes Dom's print on her form, and they get to sewing. Dom tells Helen, "You're the only one I trust," and I think Helen's plan to be the one everyone hates has really come up short. Jeremy is delighted with the plan to have a completely new look to throw at the judges. There's a lot of running around and sewing. Tim comes in and tells the assistants to stay while the bottom three go to the runway. The assistants did a great job here; keep in mind, they were all safe, but they spent an hour killing themselves to help out their colleagues.
Runway, Part Two! Ken's dress is much shorter and tighter, and that means the shoulder has a lot more volume, comparatively. I like it. Although it looks a lot like this thing where people pull turn their gym shorts into dresses. Dom's dress is made entirely from her print, and it looks pretty good for a one-hour operation. I like how it flows. Jeremy's got a new dress, and there are no accessories. There's also new hair and makeup, which means they took longer than an hour. It's pretty simple.
Heidi has Jeremy explain how it's a "lower-cut day dress." Zac doesn't think it's all that interesting, but it's pretty. Stacy finds it fun, young, and hip. Heidi also loves Dom's dress, and it gets the "I would wear that!" seal of Heidi approval. Zac tells Dom, "Brava!" and I like that he knows the correct ending to use on that word when speaking to a woman. Nina thinks it's fabulous. Dom promises to trust her instincts. Ken doesn't like the direction this is going, but he bravely tells Heidi he tried to get away from the bridesmaid thing. Nina thinks she looks sexier and cooler. John finds it much more modern. Heidi thinks it might be too short, although it's better than it was. Zac finds it much more contemporary. Heidi praises everyone for doing a great job in an hour.
Deliberations, Part Two! Everyone loved Dom's new look. Everyone wishes it had been in the original runway show, because it might well have won. Nina thinks Jeremy has a better attitude than Ken. Well, barely. Heidi thinks Ken's piece was better. Stacy asks how they do this every week. And we have the return of Heidi verifying that they've made their decision. Heidi is all about building consensus.
The designers are back out. Someone's still going home. Heidi tells Dom that she's great, and John says her new dress is going to be at Belk. She's crying with joy because now she's the co-winner of the challenge! She's on an emotional rollercoaster this episode! She goes to the back room (where the assistants have been allowed to join everyone else), and she and Helen hug. Everyone seems happy for her. No one hates Dom.
Back out to the runway. Jeremy's out. Ken is shocked. Jeremy immediately congratulates Ken, which is a super-classy move. Ken goes to the back, and he congratulates Dom. He's pretty down, because he thought he was out. Heidi gives Jeremy the auf, and he goes to the back. He's happy that he gets to go see his children. When Tim comes in, Jeremy pops up to go clean up his space. He seems like he'll be okay.
week: drama bomb!
Follow Monty on Twitter at @monty_ashley and read his blog, Mysterious Exhortations.
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